All Comments on 'Dealing with Jessie Pt. 03'

Without a doubt your worst story. Enough said.

1 star

either come in or stay out or dont bother to visit, TK U MLJ LV NV

she whore around and he eat shit.

Soooo might wanna add cuck tag to part 4

Really trying to like this but finding it hard work. Haven't voted on any of the chapters yet.

Long winded, boring drivel. There was NO need to drag this out for 9 chapters. I thought it was leading up to Christmas in chapter 2 but now its suddenly Easter?

Having Gary prematurely ejaculate on the teachers blouse... is that really necessary? This Is just more piling on by the author On his character Gary. I guess this is part of the attempt to show that Gary is a pathetic slow witted ignorant shallow stupid man.

Harryin VA

I got lost a bit with this chapter , maybe il read it again later,, but im enjoying this story and looking forward to the next chapter ,, thanks for sharing

he's gone from a willing cuckold to a maintenance/ janitor for the whore wife. No on can accuse this guy of being prideful, hell you can't even call him a man.

You’re a couple of episodes late at this time. I wanna see them posted here mui pronto.

Oh, and BTW, a solid 4 to 4.5-stars at this point.

But the dealy-whatsit with this Carolyn chick is a little quick and heavy handed. He’s not looked at a women in “that way” in nearly two decades. His heart is devastated with the betrayal of his wife. He’s hyper worried about his three kids. And within a week or three (or four) he’s flirting with an employee. I admit, he may look, but not be “thinking” about it. It seems to me he’s not that devastated. Ok, super hot chick is throwing herself at him, but besides ALL the personal problems he’s having, he is her direct supervisor. He knows better. That is not going through his mind (at least you’re not putting those thoughts in his mind).

I'm a big fan of carvohi. I really like a lot of his work. As usual, the subject matter and the raw material is very good. My ex wife is bipolar and her bat shit crazy behavior draws parallels to this material. Therefore, I really want this to finish strong.

However, I'm finding that the poor grammar, punctuation, and scrambled perspectives are ruining this promising story. Its really unfocused and meandering. This author writes best when he uses first person, dialogue based narrative NOT third person. Frankly, the whole thing comes off as an early draft. Perhaps he just has better editors for his first person material.

I have read some of the comments that this has already been published elsewhere... maybe SOL? There's a real opportunity here to listen to some of the constructive commentary and polish this up.

I give 4* based on the subject matter and raw material only, rounded up ever so slightly for my expectations based on previous work. Chapter 1 I gave a 3* so in my opinion things are getting better.

Fingers crossed.

Just hope that you can bring it home strongly carvohi.

While you're behind. Wasting time and effort to go nowhere.

Good series do far about a man concerned for his children but i think going about it the wrong way. Really, he knows she meeds mental health so for the sake of the kids make the call. But that would end the series page one chapter one.

Also i am not anti RAAC but you paint her so nasty and dirty i dont want it to happen. Have her eventually clean up and be a good mom but have her alone with her money to watch her ex enjoy life.

I enjoyed the first chapter, it clearly depicted the tension that would come forward in subsequent chapter. The second installment built on those and introduce an outside interest. This third chapter is a letdown as it is mostly a rehash of the builds in the earlier two. The tensions are not building or decaying, just staying the same. More of a set up which does not seem to really advance the story only complicating it.

I love tales where the emotional components are explored and used to illustrate our frailties and our courage. Chapter 1 was a great lead for that exploration but now it seems to be frittered away with these new elements which only cloud the revelations of the emotional relationships being destroyed.

That said i still look forward to coming chapters to see how this plays out albeit with lowered expectations. Thanks for crafting a tale but as they say in many things KISS.

and then she totally disappeared from the story- Gary needs more interaction with Carolyn imnsho

It's obvious Jessie is having a psychotic break. Unfortunately you have to wait until the break is complete until she gets to the point where help is mandated.

Gary, snyder and the senior partner? She was running through guys left and right earlier.a

Why did he keep the pistol when he knows his wife is suicidal? This can not end well.

Couldn’t finish this chapter. Maybe they both need a shrink.

By the way, exactly where on a Smith & Wesson .38 is the safety located?

This is the best story in months. I think people are intimidated to post anything other than cuck stories in Loving Wives. Thank you for your great story and effort in getting it posted. I certainly could see no reason for it being rejected.

Looking forward to more.

I expect a lot of the comments tone will reflect the darkness of the story. I'm please the daughters have not buried him yet and recognize somewhat their mother's inequities. Of course her imbalance allows her to see any of Gary's actions as support for however she wants to feel at the moment. And you have so much crazy stuff going on--sex with the boss, bringing boyfriends home, obsessed parents. We get to see your riding skills on this one; good luck!

But, if the young gal is gonna blow him in his office i believe that would intensify that new level of relationship.... seems it was ignored.... he owes her a serious pussy eating.

The best revenge is to live well.

Why is so concerned about her, when she is in the wrong.

A cuckhold is one thing, but he is portrayed as and idiot.

If she has so much money why didn't she pay someone to take car of it.

isn't it time he got some revenge on the bitch as she has beat the shit out of him and humiliated him time for some payback good story hope for more

So Far So Good!...Thanks for sharing this Brilliant story with us! 5 Stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF! Ps. I reserve judgment until the opera lady sings (politically incorrect ) It's the fat lady sings " I didn't say that" oh no no...See Ya

A '3 Part Series' usually ends with Part 3...Unless I'm confused or I missed something.

Authors have no control over how long it takes for the editorial staff to post stories.

In days past, it took a day, maybe two to get it posted. If there was ANY issues at all, the censors can hold up the stories indefinitely.

This can only have gotten far worse since the censors insist on monitoring every single comment ever, though somehow the 'fag cuck shit' comments still seem to leak through. One wonders at their algorithms.

Now, the wisdom of NOT posting in larger chunks I cannot speak to. Of course, when looking at 23 Lit pages, it might make one think hard about TRIMMING the story a tad . . . but we can't have that!

The longest novel according to Wiki is Artamène ou le Grand Cyrus, a 10 part novel of 3 volumes for each part; 1,934,300 words (I note this as a comparison, Jeb, not as a challenge or a goal!)

So in comparison to insufferable French women who don't know how to remove a single adjective or adverb, carhovi isn't THAT bad.

From all the doubling back. She not only cheated on him but she questioned his manhood, no wait, go back, be treated like shit again, wait, he will never forgive but he will let her treat him like shit in front of his daughters. She needs help, she disrespected him because shes sick, thats it. He likes someone else who he will treat like the slut he accused his wife of being.... oh look, a gun..... seriously? What Is the message he is sending his daughters?

1. Gary is another wimpish LW male character, like the vast majority of male characters in LW stories. If you are going to write another, the story had better be uniquely creative. This one isn't

2. The "Johnson" scene is pathetic. Can we pack any more false racial political cliches into a few sentences? I think not. Carvohi's political and social views are utterly insipid and should be left out of the stories. They add nothing. Oh, yeah, "Italian" is a race? A "victim" group? This is an inane theme in several of his stories.

3. The law firm portion of the story is idiotic. Women are elevated beyond their merit as lawyers because of affirmative action, not because they are performing sex acts on partners. Doubt the power of affirmative action and discrimination against more competent men in the legal field, just look at the Supreme Court. There is not even a second rate female lawyer on the court. Sandra Day O'Connor wouldn't have made the list of the 1,000 most qualified lawyers for the USSC. It's worse in law firms.

that takes 9 separate appointments. Be interesting to see if it can be saved.

Revolvers don't have external safeties to check.

I read LE in all of its forms for entertainment. Not to preached to. I qualify unit at the teachers meeting because of the "You're white" comment. I have to put up with that buckshot in real life but I don't here. Thanks you saved me a lot of time. You folks all deserve the world you are gonna get.

No Regards,

C

A good story thus far. Yes, it moves a little slow, but it is entertaining and is a joy to read. I think the majority of these guys can’t see beyond the end of their penis. If someone doesn’t get banged a couple times per page, it must be a bad author and a lousy story.

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. Gary provided all the support at home in his marriage to Jessie and she never respected his efforts. So when it becomes apparent how much his labor is missed when things start falling apart, Gary steps in to be Joe Handyman for minimum wage.

Jessie clearly has problems and I don't see what making Gary continue to cater to her needs is going improve anything. Frankly, this is just a depressing train wreck of a relationship and the personalities involved don't lend themselves to empathy. It will be a struggle to keep interest up for another six chapters of this.

Start with Jessie: she doesn’t want Gary, she wants Gary. He’s her rock, he’s her albatross. She wants partnership; but instead of paying a share, she pays with her mouth? That’s it? Most partnerships go for a cool million to 25 million at a successful firm and its based on how many clients you bring in, not potential lawsuits for forcing associates to perform sexual favours, especially ones who are partners. So this means you have done ZERO research on a topic you know nothing about. Again. But again, if she hates Gary then why reminisce about him? And how is it she only has three cocks in her life if she is dating so many younger men? Again, not consistent. And you still haven’t dealt with the fact she has him under surveillance and has his home wiretapped! Seriously! What the fuck is wrong with you!?!

Gary: you try to paint him as a well rounded man who will take on a gun carrying thug; but has no idea how to talk to a woman. At all. Then he gets a hummer in his classroom? Like? What the duck? And he thinks he’s ruined her life? Because she what? Didn’t know that sucking a cock will result in cum? Holy fuck! Your characters are fucking idiots and retards. And department heads are still unionized teachers. Principles, assistants, teachers, department heads, they’re all the same fucking union. That means they all share the same staff rooms/lounges and any discipline actions are handled by the board and not by school admins.

So in short, you have done zero research on professions you know nothing about, your characters are weak, inconsistent and insipid. You ignore major breaches while focusing on minor details, such as the illegal wiretaps but devote a half page to attending a lacrosse tournament.

All in all, this is consistent for your exceptionally poor ability to write even worse sec stories. 1 star isn’t a low enough score to give you considering you continue to ignore the wealth of information available to you and instead rely on your own half baked ideas of how things are, when you really don’t have any idea.

This is part three of a three part story and I recommend you leave it at that.

You've upped the ante, and you have a firm grip on my interest.

Not that long ago, books of a 1/4 million words were common (think Game of Thrones). So I can easily put up with a well written nine part series on Literotica.

This isn't the standard "they marry, she screws around, gets punished" story.

I'm sorry for this critique but this story is not one of your better ones. Some parts simply don't fit, others don't connect. In most stories in this area one can see where it tends to be going. This one makes no sense and seems to be going nowhere and with no sense as well.

T.T.

Create a story to infuriate people over the level of sheer disfunctionality shown by the characters, you have succeeded. You have almost doubled down on it, to the point where the only sympathetic characters are the daughters.

Husband: Now stalking the wife. Breaks and enters into her apartment. Allows sex between himself and a subordinate. Still wishy-washy over wife. Still leaving spawn in clutches of the psychotic, criminal spouse. Stops a gunman from attacking wife, throws illegal gun in car seat for unknown time. Then begins fixing house but not his life or his family's.

Wife: Utterly mental. Now a drug user and guilty of fraud. Wife is now Dr. Horrible, she has everything she ever wanted, so now she should feel...

Daughters: innocent victims of a crazy mother and a father incapable of rescuing them.

Firm: tactical nuke solves this issue.

Grandparents: mentioned as an aside, since they apparently could care less about children or grandchildren.

Hottie MCteacher: Italian, sexes supervisor, boy he can sure pick them, can't he?

BTW, almost every race that imigrated to the US was exploited for a period. They even briefly touch on it in "The Jungle" from Sinclair. I am of Italian descent, my family has been doing fine for decades. There is a difference between exploitation and slavery, not to mention the systematic oppression that has persisted almost to this day. You can't make a fair comparison between the two situations.

1 star.

Without knowing the full story, its hard to say what is unnecessary information. There have been longer stories when you find out a three page conversation did nothing to help the plot. I’m optimistic the part with Carolyn has some impact later on. As someone who’s done a lot of research into mental health and trauma, I really like how the two main characters are developing. The irrational responses of the wife are not atypical of someone with severe mental health issues. The husband being completely blindsided by these changes, and truly loving her, I think it takes more strength to not walk away.

Gary has gotten into the caretaker mode with his wife throughout the relationship. He's been the one to always make the peace, set things right, compensate for her weaknesses, and he is still in that mode. It's almost like someone who has taken care of an an old sick parent or raised children into adulthood and then when the old sick parent dies or the children leave the nest they are still in the same mode emotionally and psychologically. They are too invested and they aren't able to transition yet.

While Jessie obviously has issues which are keeping her from being a healthy and happy human being, she is highly functional, intelligent and well-educated. She has the mechanisms to at least realize at some point (unless her mental illness is chemical) that there is something wrong with her and either seek professional help or be self-aware enough to fix things herself. The best thing Gary can do is allow her to go through the process, let her bottom out, which may allow her to then realize she needs to fix things. He's always been the rescuer, rounding out the edges, which hasn't allowed her to realize she needs fixing. He needs to focus on the daughters, and let Jessie find her own course at this point.

Stories like this are so much more valuable than one dimensional cheating and revenge stories. I can see myself in someone like Jessie. I have a super dominant personality, came from a hyper aggressive and alpha dominated industry and that affected my relationships. I had to learn to pull back to have healthy long term relationships. It took me many relationships and a long time to learn to do that.

Second, even though I'm the youngest of five children I've always been the one everyone went to when shit hit the fan. To a degree the same in my business, among friends, etc. So in some ways I can see where Gary is coming from. However, I learned I needed to pull back and be more selective of who I was there for, and allow people to go through their own process to fix what's wrong. It's ultimately much better for them in the long run. As John Wooden once said, one of the worst things you can do for someone is do for them what they can do for themselves. Last, there is wisdom in recognizing when some people are beyond fixing and they would just waste your time.

Carvohi, while I'm enjoying the story to a degree, it can be shorter and should have been dumped all at once. Your story, just like most long ones, have low and uninteresting points. Dividing them up like this is forcing the readers to focus on those too much which leads to losing interest in the story, and takes away from the overall theme of the story. If you divided this story into two or three longer parts I think it would have been much better. IMHO!

OK - I admit Carvohi writes well. The plot idea is good. This is over done. It is too long as it contains too many meaningless details, thoughts are repeated as if the audience are 5 years old and conversations are drawn out with too many repetitions.

I have joked that ten thousand lawyers at the bottom of the ocean is a good start but this makes lawyers look bad which is difficult. Just everything is overdone. Crazy wife is too crazy, lawyers too evil, kids too much pull for sympathy, Gary too wimpy and makes teachers look like only no ambition losers settle for teaching. Teachers are heroes to me not losers like Gary.

The two of them are getting worse.

There is good father for the kids and there is doormat; which he is.

No matter what he does for the kids, a woman like her will never respect him. She has no respect for herself. If my daughter did this I would shoot myself.

All 9 chapters were posted several days ago on SOL, if you can't wait for them here. Look under author: Jedd Clampett

But man, what a deluded, vituperative, obdurate hag. And a skank into the bargain.

Who in their right mind would put up with this bs, I like the storyline but he needs to take his loss and move forward with Carolyn.

Some people should realise this is just a story. The author has taken a lot of time for no pay to post this free of charge. Okay some parts are out there but it's only a story. If you don't like it fine but give the author a break.

As to the story I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.

4 stars

If you can save this one.

Carvohi... I am confused, and will be to the end. It is too bad he got her pregnant early in life. He may have seen her bipolar issues before he married her. At least he is there for the children. I hope he can find pride in the girls while she marries one of the lawyers and is cheated on for the rest of her life

if by saved do you mean the protagonist will develop a spine and put his childrens needs and safey over his selfish desire to be a cum sucking worm happy to grovel at the foot of a woman who treats him like shit and abuses their children

then no, it will never happen

carvohis heros have less spine than a jellyfish and less fortitude than a sheet of one ply toliet paper

To freewheel:

This IS a cuck story.

Your comment on the folks who read loving wives is true....we look for more in the stories. We've all read how the crazed, money worshiping wife has yo have a total breakdown to finally see the true light....we'll let you decide how that should happen. We know the clueless hubby has no real interest in the wifes money nor his possible monetary influence he could have over the firm, even if it is hearsay. We also know there's a girl out there for hubby if it happens to work out well enough. Add one more to the rest of the family's knowledge of how the wife let everything go to shit even though she easily had the money for it and would be great proven leverage in court for child custody.....in the event of the wifes inevitable breakdown. Btw...if hubby still has the S&W... he should really remove the bullets....replacement "blanks" might be an interestingly possible future proactive move.

Don't keep us waiting too long...I'm hooked already.

Anonymous 08/26/19 Is Gary 12?

Having Gary prematurely ejaculate on the teachers blouse... is that really necessary? This Is just more piling on by the author On his character Gary. I guess this is part of the attempt to show that Gary is a pathetic slow witted ignorant shallow stupid man.

Harry in VA

He felt himself inside her mouth, her tongue licking around his head.

Gary gasped for breath. He tightened his grip on her shoulders, her neck. She tried to take all of him. He could fight it no more, with frenzied lust he poured his semen in her mouth, she choked and coughed as she pulled back, drops of sticky sperm dribbled from his dick and down on her blouse.

Nowhere did it say premature ejaculation. He did say it had been close to five months though how long could you hold out.

Huedogg 208/26/19 this story is going of the deep end

he's gone from a willing cuckold to a maintenance/ janitor for the whore wife. No on can accuse this guy of being prideful, hell you can't even call him a man.

Huedogg, by the definition of cuckold he would have only been one for what three days, never a willing cuck. I guess saving his future ex-wife from an attacker doesn't qualify him as being a man either.

Anonymous08/26/19 Bad move

Why did he keep the pistol when he knows his wife is suicidal? This can not end well.

Would it have been better if he left in in the gutter? Though it didn't say it we don't know that he didn't turn it into the police.

Anonymous08/26/19 Tedious

1. Gary is another wimpish LW male character, like the vast majority of male characters in LW stories. If you are going to write another, the story had better be uniquely creative. This one isn't

2. The "Johnson" scene is pathetic. Can we pack any more false racial political cliches into a few sentences? I think not. Carvohi's political and social views are utterly insipid and should be left out of the stories. They add nothing. Oh, yeah, "Italian" is a race? A "victim" group? This is an inane theme in several of his stories.

3. The law firm portion of the story is idiotic. Women are elevated beyond their merit as lawyers because of affirmative action, not because they are performing sex acts on partners. Doubt the power of affirmative action and discrimination against more competent men in the legal field, just look at the Supreme Court. There is not even a second rate female lawyer on the court. Sandra Day O'Connor wouldn't have made the list of the 1,000 most qualified lawyers for the USSC. It's worse in law firms.

Where to start, Gary truly has never shown wimpish behavior, yes he doesn't act like a manly man all the time but not a wimp.

Growing up in the 70's when 'My Johnson' became the saying I don't recall anyone saying it was only a black thing. It is nice to know you feel that only white people can be racists. Try checking your history books on band people from the US and it might surprise you to see Italians and Irish on that list.

I'm not even going to respond to your third point because it's not worth it.

Jedd, I look forward to reading the rest of your story.

I am enjoying the comments, most of them anyway. This is a nine part story about a man, a husband, dealing with his wife. There are no winners or losers, not yet anyway.

One anonymous comment was interesting. He titled his remarks "Tedious". I think the guy has a problem with women, especially successful women.

Jedd Clampett.

This chapter was good in that I can see what is going on in the mixed up head of his wife, at least from his point of view, and I have some small sympathy for her. I personally would not sentence myself to the mercy of another person's mental illness, and thankfully this man is thinking of a loving intervention more than a miracle reconciliation.

While I still don't see a need for 9 entries, I am very much into the story. I don't think Gary is being a wimp by any means. He is staying strong for his daughters showing them how an adult handles things while his wife is going "off the range". I laugh at these people that expect the husband to go all Rambo on everyone...especially the bitch of a wife. Now so many things have been said and done that I don't see a RAAC ending. Maybe they end as co-parents while Gary lives a happy life with the young teacher. Beatles said it best "Money can't buy you love". A solid 4 from me and thanks for the story.

"Buckeye Fan"

This could have ended in one chapter but you're way over board and than when people question that in a obnoxious manner they become trolls. This has become tedious and ridiculous if he loves his girls so much why would allow this to continue.

Good read....... But it's getting really long.. I need a break

The initial chapter was good -- held one's interest, had a good story line and had the "she's frickin' crazy" vibe with it. Then, the story has meandered greatly: feels bad about divorce/glad he is divorcing her; kids want to help them/kids seem to back away; kids being neglected/all's ok; her life is going down the sewer/she got everything she ever want and she's a partner; she wants him/she hates him. In short, the story is as schizophrenic as she is. Just choose a path already....

writing- excellent

story line- is, well, upsetting

No guy no matter how patient, how much he still loved his wife, would have lasted this long.

Its hard enough having a spouse with mental illness and this caracter you created seems to be ill.

But she has went to far and done to much damage.

I am surprised youve written the daughters still wanting to stay with her, e is abusing them also.

Cant wait for more chapters to see how this plays out.

with fava. And a nice Chianti. She'll be lucky to find enough to make a meal.

You've overdone both the wife and the husband. It has denigrated into a morose and repugnant cartoon.

I'd never put up with a woman talking to me like that. He's coming across as a total wimp. Not liking either character.

I have read a lot of stories in the LW category. This Gary character is the biggest wimp here. I'm sorry, I can see a man taking a little shit to see his girls, but damn they are going to think he is a wimp and not want to be around him. Please make him take a stand against this creature and to get a woman in his life. Damn, no man is this pathetic.

This one is tedious. But its like a trainwreck. Once you start looking you can't stop.

I am particularly pleased with the changing emotions of Gary. I don’t know why some believe it is all black and white, life is harder than that. You would be bound no matter how betrayed. You would want to move on and stay where you were, too. At first, I wanted some description of why these different emotions, but I think it is better as you’ve done it! Great job, look forward to part 4

Has promise but the thing is, to many people are having a hard time following.

They cant keep track of the insinuation/thoughts of the protagonist gary and the actual actions of his wife.

The massive cheating of chapter one and two is with Snyder, in chapter 3 she blows off the senior partner for the job.

That's all the cheating shes actually done.

Shes clearly having a psychotic break that is being acerbated by the drug cocktail she is on.

The drug cocktail, the gun, and the teacher blow job scene is all loading the future story for a major break down of the charecters.

The blow job will get around, gary will lose his job as a teacher and have to start working as an accountant as Jessie wants.... notice her choice of jobs for him are not actually going to make him rich, Tax Accountant is a break or bust job that only has an active yearly duration of 3 months unless you work with major companies.

the gun will put him in jail perhaps for some chrime linked to it, and get him out of a teaching job.

The wife will get arrested for the drug issues, the reasons for it will get out, major issue with the sexual harassment policy at work, most of the lawfirm will get fired, and so forth.

Its fucking funny that he plays handy man for the summer just to be with the kids, and to make sure things actually get done around the house, the kids are safe, the wife can have some supervision, that this is considered to be a cuckold wimpy bitch.

Like a number of other authors, you've fallen in love with your characters. Your readers have not. We don't want nine meandering chapters. We want you to stick to the important stuff and come to a conclusion.

The story fails, because you never attempted to make either the husband or wife likeable.

Jessie was so clingy and annoying at the start of their relationship that he was going to dump her... until she trapped him into marriage by getting pregnant. Then we find that she's had an insane temper the entire time they've been married. She leaves most of the housework and childcare to him, and has been treating her husband with greater and greater contempt over the years...

What's to actually like about Jessie? She never had a single redeeming feature! Why would anyone put up with all her shit for so long?

Which leads directly to the biggest problem with the husband. He's been forced to tiptoe around his bitch of a wife for years because of her temper tantrums. Now she's started cheating on him and her contempt has ratcheted up so much that she's berating him with appalling abuse. Why does he put up with it? A spineless doormat of a man isn't a relatable or likeable character.

Instead of feeling sorry for Gary, I think he's a fool... because he should have divorced his wife years ago! He's not staying with Jessie for the sake of the kids, because she's a toxic mess and being exposed to her insanity is detrimental to the children.

You went much too far in making Jessie unlikeable. If you'd portrayed her as kind and loving at the start of their relationship, then the monster emerges with the stress of the career, it would have been a MUCH better story. At least we'd understand why Gary was enduring all the abuse, because he was still in love with the wonderful girl he'd fallen for all those years ago. Instead we find out he never loved her and wanted to dump the crazy bitch from the beginning!

A good read spoilt.when I read I want to read not be pissed about like this.Im stpooing here I might remember to read it once it's been fully published but I'm not doing this anymore.

Just thinking about how difficult this is to read, I can't imagine how difficult it must be to write. As one who aspires to write my own story, I try to read as much as possible the stories by what I consider the masters. Carvohi is is definitely in that class. Writing about someone going insane takes real ability, and writing about husband and family reacting to her and trying to maintain a normal life has to be even harder. When I read something like this I realize how far from being a writer I really am. I even enjoy this slow release of the stories as it adds to the anticipation. Just a great effort all round.

I'm referring to the whole story. The main characters development (or the lack thereof) doesn't bring this reader along with any compelling drama or magnetism. They seem to be two people who have a deep commitment to repeating their life-long habits, patterns and mistakes, all summing up to produce a despair-dominated old age. Heck, I don't need to read a LW story for that when there's Real Life out there. I've read a couple of your other stories and found them interesting and thought-provoking; generally well done. I kinda get the feeling that you may have gotten lost along the way; whatever overall idea you had at the beginning may have gotten lost or at least obscured, and you're now trying to get "it" back under some control?? Can't say, maybe you have a editor/friend with whom you can do a review and get some straight feedback??

I actually put my comment in next part but I want to thank FD45 ‘Note to the commenteriat’ (I think I spelled it the same?). I have wondered why suddenly all comments I make were up for review. I thought I made something derogatory or forbidden (ironic to think on a porn site) in writing and had been flagged. Glad it was just not my paranoia it is actually widespread to commenters and authors. Site must have gotten some deal from a tech company to be beta test monitors for new algorithm? I have never seen it happen before to be reviewed prior to posted? I really enjoyed FD45 comment!!

As for carvohi story I am along for the entertainment read / ride. It is a bit verbose but well written and entertaining. Carvohi is in my favorite authors so I will see where this goes to the end. Of course the comments are entertaining as well so from that stand point it is a real successful story / series. To create that many comments is a success for most authors. Write what you want you have been doing fine so far so why stop. As another author has said you ‘write what you want to write let the reader decide to read or not’. I think that is more of a paraphrased but the meaning is the same, sorry I can’t recall author to give credit. This site is great for improving writing and LW has the best quality and harshest critics- at least many will offer good points on how to improve.

Please do keep writing and I will keep reading.

Jessie is also a vile bitch.

I'm just wondering what is attractive about either of these disastrous losers?

We now have 5 -- where's no.4?

19pvc44

...and you'll get an idea what this story is about.

Cuckold being humillated over and over. Unremorseful entitled cheating wife shitting on him over and over.

Not my cup of tea.

I normally love reading your work. But this one has put me off to the point that I am choosing to wave off the rest of the tale. Sorry but I’m disinterested enough that, while I felt it necessary to express my distain, I don’t want to waste the time and effort to comment - except, perhaps, to say that I have not found any of your characters even remotely redeeming, and certainly not the least bit enjoyable.

This story is more than erotic teasing. Fantasy is fun to play with but relationships and family take careful responsible decisions. When a spouse is having irrational problems, care needs to be taken for the sake of the family. This story makes you think about what would you do?

I don't like to leave disparaging comments.

When I do criticize, I try to make it constructive.

I can't seem to do that here.

These characters are repulsive. She's psychotic, and he's getting into full cuckoldry.

Pathetic.

Ok; you answered my previous questions. Yes, the house is falling apart. But he's still an idiot. The gun probably had prints on it. The dummy should have contacted the police. Maybe it was a mugging; then again, maybe the SOB was paid to knock her off. (Now that would have been a more interesting plot, don't you think?). Anyway, if duffus is happy being treated like dirt, by all means, he should expect more dirt piled on.

I must have gotten side tracked after Chapter 2 as I hadn't read this one till now. You saved me a ton of typing with your comments and I thank you. I have a little more to add though. With all of his admiral actions regarding his daughters he is seriously lacking in the most important issue regarding them - their safety. He knows they are in danger because although he illegally entered her little apartment she has been doctor shopping for off the charts potent drugs and is simply dangerous to herself and their daughters. I personally know potent some of the drugs he found are having been prescribed them for short periods of time after surgery. He and his three daughters have repeatedly seen and heard first hand her out of control actions, him going back to when they were first dating. The fool should have run no later than when she went after him through his windshield with a baseball bat. The man should be in jail for endangering his daughters by leaving them with this woman and she should be in an institution where she can get treatment. At the very least he or his attorney should have contacted Child Protective Services, advising them of the conditions in the marital home, that could lead to them inspecting the apartment allowing them to find the drugs, all of the pages she had written and the rest of the mess including not coming home.The only people I have any respect for are the daughters, and the three women teachers who were in the breakroom when he confronted Johnson. He could easily be a terrific teacher but if he was a good parent he would move heaven and earth to get his daughters out of the house and away from that woman. Nothing less than supervised visitations and restraining orders are appropriate in this situation. Documentation, Documentation and Documentation are the order of the day, it works better in court if the originals are all had written too - trust me on this, I've been there.

Jedd, you've written one hell of a story about two dysfunctional parents who should have never gotten married, much less had children. Unfortunately I tend to believe it's all too likely to be true in the real world. In fact I was married to one, that's how I ended up with custody of two little girls, much younger than the ones in this disconcerting story. One other thought from the very beginning of the story, if they started seeing others after the windshield incident, why is anyone assuming any of the children are actually his? After all we only have her word that she never cheated before that first time at the party and we know how good her word is. Not to mention seeing other people and having sex with others wouldn't be cheating during that time. Why blindly accept that Dorothy specifically was actually his child, especially after finding out she is the company whore and as far as he knows always has been? Signed: BTW

What a shining pansy whoosh

Smith and Wesson 38 caliber never had safeties they were revolvers. 38 cal automatic came out late 1990's early 2000 please learn about something before you assume. And sorry but this portion at best 2 stars

but the injection of the degenerate "wokeness" not only detracts from the story, it was gratuitous "virtue signaling".

That guy is a pussy and a piece of shit

I see many comments evaluating how characters ought to act. Often, I’d even be interested In reading such a story. These people and the situation seem real. Jessie is not at all likable, but you hint in the title, she might not be so. Look forward to continuing to read.

This guy spine is made of probably a level or two above jello

I see many comments about the dad being a wimp or spineless - but those who make those comments are probably people who are incapable of total devotion to their children. The development of the characters is very well done and I look forward to reading the rest of the chapters. Not sure that total reconciliation is possible, but there are worse things, such as a nuclear destruction of the family dynamics rather than a mutual agreement to be at least civil with each other. Keep on and don't listen to the Anon-sayers!

Is that he is a total wimp. He needs to grow a pair to be even mildly believable as a character.

Having raised 4, been through some tough times with the now ex, I have to say that your character development of Gary is a bit of a roller coaster. It isn’t that he is a wimp, or lacks a spine, or … more so that he is wandering all over the road like a drunk duck. Between the sife and the hubby, this story lacks “forward progress”. More like a parade of stumble bums.

JMO YOMV

What a fucking mess - I love it! 5*

“Dorothy found out was Jessie had obtained an apartment just a few blocks from her office. She’d become so preoccupied with work she started to neglect her home and the girls almost altogether.“

Mom not showing up at home several nights a week. Just go to court with the kids and a lawyer and he’d probably get full custody. Sure. It would probably totally and absolutely crush Jessie, but we're talking the kids safety here. Even after he does his James Bond thing, where he saw she was on the edge AND still loved him. He found a crap ton of drugs. Irregardless of if he still loves her, he has to think of the kids first, and mom is a danger to them both by neglect and erratic behavior from the drugs.

Remember — kids first.

This has become a soap opera with a mentally disturbed ex-wife. Too bad the main character is so indecisive.

Not to simply pile on, but whatever this story is supposed to be, it's not very good. I won't be reading any further chapters.

So many issues are raised in this yarn that it is difficult to know where to start. There is the domestic abuse, potential child abuse, sexual harassment at work. Then if that isn’t enough Jessie is abusing OxyContin which is the devil’s spittle when in the wrong hands. This yarn is a slow motion train wreck! I look forward to the next chapter!

In my last comment I meant to say that ‘this yarn describes a marriage which is a slow motion train wreck’. I love it. 5 stars, and I look forward to the next chapter.

Is this guy serious?

She admits to having his new place wired, he finds out she's got a crash pad downtown that she frequently uses instead of being home with their daughters and he does nothing?

Seriously?!

How fucking stupid is this guy? The mother leaves minor children alone overnight, she has an apartment full of illegally obtained opioids and he doesn't have the 'nads, brains or wherewithal to get a lawyer to file a motion for emergency custody? A call to the local DEA hotline won't get her busted? As an officer of the court, "doctor shopping" alone, as verified through prescriptions and doctors' records will get her disbarred!! Stupid writing.

Using his kids as intermediaries? B.S. This story is so full of holes that it leaks like a soup sandwich.

Grow a pair

The wife cheated and the bloke is remorseful? She leaves underage children at home overnight alone, she is abusing prescription drugs, he has proofs and he does nothing? Not even close to being believable ⭐️⭐️⭐️