Dear Diary

I may be wrong about not worrying about Bill. There was that time the night before my marriage when I was very, very drunk and we made love, my brother Bill and I. Call it a woman's intuition, but my guess is that perhaps Bill really would enjoy a free peek? God, I hope not!

*************

Monday:

Josh was lucky, if that's what you call it. I guess if you're a guy, and you see a woman with a nice figure parading around nude in front of her bedroom window, late at night, you would call yourself lucky. Josh had seen me parading around naked in my room.

I don't know for sure that Josh saw me that way, but I ran into him at the local supermarket when I was trying to find something healthy to eat to cook later for my parents, and the way he looked at me, I knew something was up.

To be honest, I liked the way he looked at me. His eyes were dripping with lust. He almost leered at me. I imagined he was seething with desire for me. I like being desired. What woman doesn't?

I have decided to parade around naked again tonight, just to see if I'm right. If I am right, then he'll get a nice show.

Maybe I am a little bit exhibitionist, after all? Thinking about it, I did fuck Jim, Greg, Frank, and then Jim again in front of all of them, not to mention in front of April and May, too. At the time I thought that was just a release of far too much uncontrollable, over the top lust. But maybe there was an exhibitionist element to it, too? I would ask you, Dear Diary, but you are inanimate and cannot think. And even if you could think, you cannot reply.

In my defense, I never cheated on Steve again after my one and only memorable gangbang, except for my time as a prostitute. Otherwise I was very loyal. And this is worth something on the scales of justice: I continued to be sexually unfulfilled. My memory of the gangbang kept me going through many a bleak night, when Steve was just not interested. I wanted to cheat all the time, but I did not. I only slipped five times during our five years of marriage.

I remember them all. There was the gangbang of course that got me June, and around a month later the one night stand with Josh when I was back in Indiana visiting my parents. Then there was my night of being a whore, with the nameless man I call my john. That probably gave me little John. The remaining two times was one more time with Jim, and another sexy time when Frank,Greg, and I had a threesome.

As for whether or not I am exhibitionist, I did in fact let the john take obscene pictures of me. He told me he would post them on the Internet, so that I could download copies for myself, and he wrote down the URL for me. That too sounds pretty exhibitionist to me. But I need to ask an expert.

Worse, I do not know how to ask my former john to take the pictures down. They're still up on display on the Internet for anonymous men (or women?) to enjoy. I get aroused thinking that. I am weird, maybe sick, or twisted. Do you agree, Dear Diary?

By the way, I did in fact download the pictures, and I have them on my personal computer. Don't worry: They are password protected. I can't believe I posed for them! I look at them from time to time and remember that wild night, and I pleasure myself. I cum every time. Something is wrong with me. Wow.

******************

Tuesday:

Well last night I gave a great show, even if I say so myself. And now I'm sure Josh was watching, because I overheard my brother Bill talking with him on the phone. I just heard a snippet, but Bill said, "She did what? Naked? She was naked for all that time? Stark naked?" They had to be talking about me.

My airplane out is tomorrow, so tonight will be my last night. I bought a cucumber, and I'm going to pretend it is the cock of one of my past lovers; maybe even I'll pretend it is Josh's cock from our one night stand, which was quite a while ago. This way it will be a totally spectacular show for Josh. I'm really enjoying this!

I guess I am an exhibitionist. Or maybe I'm just a horrible sexual tease. Or maybe they're the same thing? Does it matter?

************* Wednesday:

My grandmother is sick. She is very, very sick. My Dad's a doctor, but the wrong kind. He thinks she has pneumonia. Old people die from that all the time. I can't possibly go home, so both Bill and I are going to stay a few more days, until she is out of the woods.

I know what you're wondering: Did I do my grand finale last night? You betcha! I am now in love with a big green cucumber. Boy, do I love that cucumber. And probably Josh saw exactly how the cucumber won my heart. I'm avoiding Josh; I would die of embarrassment if I saw him.

One thing troubles me, so I might as well tell you. A short time after I finished my grand finale, I heard my brother come in. That's the second night in a row I heard him come in shortly after I finished my shows. Could Josh have invited him over? Would he go over to see his own sister showing off her naked body? Could he possibly do something like that?

Yes, he surely could, I told myself as I thought back to the night before my wedding.

If he goes out tonight, I'm going to do a little espionage. I'm sure as hell not going to stop my shows. Tonight, I'm planning to cheat on the cucumber with a huge carrot I found at the farmer's market, hee, hee. I hope Mr. Cucumber does not get jealous.

By the way, Mr. Cucumber is a hothouse Japanese style cucumber. I hear that Japanese men are even more sexist than American men. He's going to split open and spill his seeds when he sees me go at it with Mr. Carrot.

************* Thursday:

Last night Bill went out again. I watched from my window and he went directly to Josh's house. Damn him.

I'm changing tactics. Tonight is the night of the big confrontation. I went into town today and bought a robe. I'll let you know what happens tomorrow. Tonight Mr. Cucumber is going to pleasure my pussy, while Mr. Carrot is going to try out my ass. At the same time! It should be fun, and quite a show. Afterwards, I'll make a lack of curtains call on Josh...

If my guess is right, Mr. Cucumber and Mr. Carrot will have good reason to be jealous of Josh. I hope so! Don't worry, Dear Diary, you'll be the first to know.

*************

Friday:

I'm writing this just for me and nobody else can ever see it. If you are not me, and you are reading this, please stop now!

You didn't stop, did you? Well, STOP! The rest is censored.

I cannot believe what I did last night. But I really need to tell someone, and Dear Diary, you are it. Do you remember my masturbatory double penetration plan? Well I did it. Nobody had ever better eat that carrot, let me tell you. Yuck.

I know you're still reading this. WTF, it's okay. As soon as I was done, I grabbed my robe and ran downstairs naked. (Mom and Dad were asleep, anyway.) Still carrying my robe, and therefore still naked, I went next door and tried the front door of Josh's house. It was unlocked, so I slipped in and silently crept up the stairs to Josh's room. I put on my robe and only then realized that I had forgotten to bring the sash. Shit. Oh well, Josh has now seen me naked a lot by now, I guess. Who cares?

I figured I had earned another one night stand with Josh. By now I figure he must be super horny for me. I know I'm horny. I seem always to be horny. I'm not especially horny for Josh, or any other given man for that matter, but I need to get laid, and he's the man next door. I like convenience.

I entered Josh's room to seduce him, and also to quiz him about what has been going on with my brother Bill. My robe was open and my body exposed, and I'll be damned but both Josh and Bill were there together, and both of them were jacking off! They had been beating their meat while watching me.

I was flabbergasted. I just stood there, with my robe open. It barely covered my boobs, but one could plainly see the hair of my bush. It was less than what they had already seen, but that was through two windows and 20 feet. This was in the same room, and I was only two feet away from them.

They could do more than see me. They could touch me. They could caress me. They could pull a Trump and grab my pussy.

Josh got up and said, "Hi, Mary. Let me take your robe," and he took off my robe while I stood there dumbly in shock. Now I was naked in his room, with Josh and in front of my own brother Bill. I freaked out and put my robe back on, clutching it and holding it tightly together.

"I told you she'd come over, Josh. I won the bet. You're second," my brother said, cryptically.

"I know," Josh said, licking his lips. "It will be fun to watch."

I was grabbing for my robe, suddenly freaked out to be naked in front of both Josh and especially my brother. "What are you two men talking about?" I asked.

"You," Bill said.

"What about me?" I asked, my robe now on, and my hands clutching it tightly closed. I could not believe I forgot the sash!

"Well, we have been enjoying your little shows, which have clearly been done for our benefit, you little minx," Josh said.

I looked at my feet, I was blushing, "Our benefit? What do you mean 'our?'" I asked.

Josh ignored me. It was now obvious to everyone Bill had been joining Josh to watch my shows. He was peeping on his own sister!

"But something was missing," Josh continued.

I could think of nothing. After the double penetration with Mr. Cucumber and Mr. Carrot, what more could they possibly want? "What was missing?" I stupidly asked, thereby implicitly admitting I was putting on shows for Josh's benefit.

"You. You were missing," Bill said. "And now you're here, in the flesh, where we can reach out and touch you," and as he spoke those words, he did just that.

He pulled my robe apart, and stuck his hand inside it and began to caress my boobs. It felt so good, so very good, to be touched by a man. To be touched by a heterosexual man at that. It was not at all the way my ex-husband Steve had touched me.

Then it hit me. Recoiling in horror, I said, "Bill, you're my brother! Hands off! And eyes off, too!" I knew I had fucked him at my bachelorette party, but that was years ago, and it was just the one time. Just the one time! I hoped to God that Josh did not know about that!

"He gets you first, Mary," Josh said. "That's our agreement. Then I get you." Oh shit. Had Bill really planned to lay me, his sister, right in front of Josh? Josh would know up front and personal of our incest, and who knows who else he would tell? Our hometown was small.

Bill had been undressing and now he too was naked. He was sporting a big and super hard erection, like none I had ever seen in the last six years. Steve never got that hard. Even Jim, Greg and Frank had not been that hard. "But it's incest. We're not supposed to have sex," and as I said that, Bill shut me up with wonderful kisses.

Steve had never kissed me like that. As Bill kissed me he fondled my boobs. I sound like a broken record, but here it is: Steve had never fondled my boobs the way Bill had just done.

I came to my senses and recoiled from Bill. I did not want to actually, I was enjoying it, but I knew it was not the right thing to do. Josh could not know of my incestuous desires. But Josh was behind me and he pushed me back right into Bill's arms.

Josh wanted to watch us have incestuous sex. That seemed clear to me. I absolutely could not let that happen!

Bill resumed kissing me, and damn if I wasn't enjoying the kisses. Then he went for the gold, and his right hand went down to my snatch, while his left hand circled my waist holding me tight up against him. I said, "No, no, this is wrong..." but it was obvious I guess my will to resist was melting rapidly.

Well it turns out Bill is some sort of magical master at fingering a girl. Christ the man has talented fingers! If he played the piano with the same skill, he would be performing in Carnegie Hall. All of my brain wanted to run away, to stop this, but my body refused to move. I was not going anywhere as long as Bill had his fingers doing their magic to me.

My knees were getting weak. I was way too turned on. I knew I had to get out of there. If I did not, both men were going to have their way with me, and one of them was my own freaking brother. And Josh was going to watch, leer, and remember.

I did escape, though, thank God. As my knees gave out Bill picked me up as if I were a child's toy (Bill is tall and strong, and I am short and weak and don't even weigh 100 pounds), and he dumped me on my back on the bed. Well even my addled mind associates nudity, men, and beds with sex, and I most definitely did not want to have sex again with my brother. Maybe Josh; sure, why not Josh? I could have sex with Josh.

But not two men at once and definitely not my brother! Now it's true I once did three men at once, but that did not mean I wanted to repeat it, and certainly not with my brother. I gave them a definite "No!" and I stood, got my robe, held it tight, and ran back to my parents' house next door, up to my room, and I closed and locked the door.

************* Saturday:

I have not even had breakfast yet, but I have to tell you, Dear Diary, what happened. I awoke to a gentle knocking at my bedroom door. I got up, all sleepy headed, grabbed my robe AND its sash, since I was sleeping nude. I opened the door, and there was Bill, in his pajamas.

"Can I come in, Sis? We need to talk about last night," he said.

I gestured him to come in. Of course, I had spent all night thinking about last night, and masturbating repeatedly at the memory of Bill's strong, hard, throbbing cock. I had made a decision, and I knew what had to happen.

Bill was talking up a storm. He was penitent, and he hoped I could forgive his behavior and return to normal. At one point he said, "Seeing you naked and sexually provocative as you were, I don't know, it just made me stupid and all I could think about was how beautiful and sexy you are. I'm not trying to justify my behavior, I can't. I'm just trying to explain it."

He had been talking nonstop saying stuff like that for the last ten minutes straight. Finally, I held up my hand. I spoke for the first time. "Stop, Bill, you've said enough. It's okay. I forgive you, and I still love you. I do have some questions, though," I said.

"Sure Mary. Ask me anything," Bill said.

I smiled and stood up. "My first question," I said, "Is to determine just how much of me turns you on and drives you crazy." Bill looked befuddled.

I slowly, tantalizingly, lowered my robe, baring my shoulders. "Are you going crazy with desire seeing my bare shoulders?" Bill just stared at me, looking puzzled. I think I have beautiful shoulders, by the way, especially when there are no straps. I had lowered my robe sufficiently far that he could see the swell of my breasts.

I lowered the robe some more, exposing my breasts. "How about now?" I looked at his crotch to see if he had an erection. "Remove your pajama bottoms, Bill. I need to check your reactions. Bill just sat there; I think he was still in shock as he was staring at my bare boobs.

I bent over him, I grabbed the waistband of his pajama bottoms with my teeth, and I pulled it down, revealing a semi-hard penis. Doing this brought my lips right up against his cock. It smelled nice. I needed to see his cock in order to gauge his reactions to my progressive seduction.

"Okay then. It's not my shoulders. Nor is it my bare boobs. Maybe it's me being on display for Josh? Be a doll and text Josh for me and tell him to look at my bedroom window, will you please?" Bill texted Josh. I opened my drapes and stood in the window, exposing myself above the waist to Josh, assuming he was looking.

Actually, I saw Josh looking. It was easy to see him, now that it was daytime. He had binoculars, and later he replaced them with a camera with a telephoto lens. Whoa.

I turned around. Bill's cock was erect, but not like it was the previous night. I said to Bill, "Okay, we've tried shoulders, boobs, and exposing myself. What's left? Oh yes, my down under." I dropped the robe, standing naked before my brother. His cock twitched. Progress!

"We still have a way to go. I think I have another carrot around here somewhere..." When I said that, Bill's cock went to maximum size and began to throb. I stared at his cock and yelled, "Eureka!"

"Well, I'm glad that's settled. My next trick was going to be to suck you hard. But now that you're nice and hard I don't have to. Remove the rest of your pajamas, big brother."

Bill silently removed his pajamas completely, and I walked over to him. "Lie down, and stick your cock in the air. Do it over here (I gestured to a spot on the bed) so that Josh can watch. That's it: your cock should be front and center."

I was already thoroughly wet from my little game. I walked over to Bill. As I got on the bed and began to position myself, Bill's eyes got wide. I winked at him, and then looked out the window and winked at Josh. Then I grabbed his cock and slowly lowered myself onto it. I now had a cock in me for the first time since the divorce, and actually for the first time in well over a year.

To say it felt good to have Bill's cock inside me again after its long absence would be an understatement of gigantic proportions. I gently moved up and down on him, gradually increasing the tempo. My boobs were bouncing around above him. I looked out the window at Josh's window and I saw he had his camera with its telescopic lens recording our incest for posterity.

At one point Bill grabbed me and effortlessly picked me up and tossed me onto the bed. I landed on my back. Bill roughly and quickly spread my legs. He plunged his cock right into me. There was no more of my gentle bouncing up and down on top of Bill; no, now he was pounding away with me underneath him in classic missionary style.

It was a violent fuck. I felt it must be that Bill was unleashing years of pent up desire. For how long had Bill been lusting for me? Perhaps it had been for my entire adult life? I thought back over our numerous interactions for the last 5 years, when I was with my husband and giving birth to two of the world's most beautiful little children.

I remembered the looks on Bill's face. I could now see in his face the lust that I had never noticed before. His desire for me, since that night before my wedding, had apparently never waned.

Those were all my thoughts as Bill fucked me. Then I began to think about how good he felt inside me. Had I always wanted this, too? No, clearly not. I was in love with Steve. Can you be in love with your husband and still lust for your brother? What a strange idea!

I can't make too much noise, I thought; our parents are downstairs! Oh my God, they're knocking at my door. What to do? "Your pajamas, quick!" I whispered to Bill, as I covered myself with my robe. I went to the door and opened it, and there stood not my parents, but Josh. I was flummoxed. I gestured him in, and closed and locked my door behind him.

I dropped my robe, now naked in front of both men, and calmly walked over to Bill and asked, "Where were we?" Then I lay on the bed and spread my legs. Bill smiled wickedly. I fondled his now only semi-erect cock, and it grew to full mast as he loomed over my tiny body, plunging his throbbing member into my hungry pussy.

Since Josh was there, I did not want Bill to cum inside me. I said, "When it's time to cum, give it to me in my mouth. I want to suck you dry, big brother." I liked saying 'big brother' while he fucked me. It was so very perverse.

A couple of minutes later Bill complied, and I swallowed a large and salty load. He rolled over to lie beside me. "Get off the bed, Bill," I said. Bill looked at me perplexed. "It's Josh's turn now."

I lay there, spread my legs wide and looked at Josh. "See anything you want, big boy?" I wanted Bill to see his best friend fuck his little sister. I wanted to remind him of when our cousin Zeke fucked me, and Bill himself fucked Zeke's little sister Amber. It was at their infamous pre-wedding-night sister swap! I also wanted to see if Josh could fuck me even half as wonderfully as Bill just did.