Dear Literotica...

Dear Literotica,

Hello.

My name is Ardeth Jensen and I am writing to the people who run this website because I'm in need of some help that only they can provide.

November 21, 2023 will be the 25th anniversary of my marriage. My dear husband of the past 24 years, Ammon Ardeth, a great father and a loving family provider, was taken away from this earthly world at the very start of this terrible Covid pandemic. Please bear with me for I try not to refer to him in the past tense in conversation, but that is confusing sometimes even to friends who are aware, so again, please excuse me.

Since his death, I've stayed sheltered and haven't been able to get up the will to return to the open arms of our congregation despite their compassionate outreach and loving attempts to get me back into the fold of the flock. Next month will make it three years that my Ammon has been gone and our family and church friends have indicated, since everyone is a bit more educated on the precautions necessary to stay safe from contracting this disease, that they would like to honor his memory more properly than the conference video funeral we were forced to have at the time of his death.

I am, in all honesty, so very flattered that so much of the spirit of his glowing presence remains in their hearts and that they would want to do this touching gesture after all these years, but, I myself, I am still in mourning. The passing of time has not healed this deep wound of loss. These restless nights of me still wanting and imagining him there at my side and in our bed have become more and more frequent. My Lord knows that the desire for my Ammon is not any lust of skin, but of want for touch. I so long to have some physical form of him still here, on this earth, in this home, closer to my heart, and in my arms.

I have refused to wash his clothing. I wrapped and sealed everything in plastic in an attempt to keep what I can of him here. But, as with all human endeavors done to duplicate tasks that are meant only for the dealings of the mighty hands of God, I was, from the start, always doomed for failure in my efforts. Gluttony is still gluttony no matter how hard my mind worked at twisting itself in believing in its righteousness. I'm betrayed by my desired senses and constantly return to reopen the items I carefully have tried to preserve. Each time that I come back to the things I most cherish, I slowly lose a bit more of the item's value. Now, the sweat from the clothes he last wore and the scent of his skin have long dissipated into no smell at all. The salt from my tears have discolored his shirts. Touching his tools and all the projects he built, fixed, and worked on around our home only leave my fingers feeling the lifelessness of cold material objects.

And that's where you come into the picture. Literotica, I need your help!

I'm still in pain, but in order to help organize this post-funeral memorial, I finally mustered up the courage to sift through some his more personal religious books and belongings. But in doing so, I came across a scribbling of his handwriting on a small piece of paper hidden between the pages of a notebook that simply read, "Literotica: pray69praise." My husband and I could talk openly about anything and everything. We had no secrets. So, I was a bit confused in finding this.

I typed in the phrase into our computer and the search brought me to your site and...

I first had to turn the parental block off on our computer just to access your site, which, in having to do that, was surprising to me. My Ammon was a great father and ruled our home by being a kind and loving disciplinarian. The 4 of our children that are of age to still be at home and under our care are well raised and pure. The block on our computer was Ammon and I simply adhering to the common practice of our church's beliefs in discouraging idle hands. Even with me removing the restriction, I was still not prepared for the filth that sullied my eyes.

YOU! LITEROTICA! YOU AND EVERYONE ASSOCIATED WITH YOUR SITE ARE PURVEYORS OF PORNOGRAPHIC SMUT! I am, frankly, disgusted by the very existence of a place such as yours and cannot comprehend how such a terrible thing like this is even allowed in this country and on the internet for anyone's impressionable eyes to view!

I instantly dropped to my knees and started praying. I prayed that you will change your format to one that would be more positive and uplifting or, better yet, shut this site completely down! His, our Savior's, return is definitive and is written to come to pass. Literotica you must repent your ways before the Rapture and the return of Jesus! I give you this warning to heed and I am compelled to inform you that you will bear to face the consequences and wrath of His righteous judgment for the sexual sewage of sin you encourage and willingly contaminate God's sacred provenance with.

I do not know why my Ammon would write down information that would reference such a sinful and evil place as yours unless he was doing research to help and connect more with a person in need in the community. As much as I abhor your site, I'm more curious to know how my husband was accessing and using it as a tool to help people find their way more towards praising the glory of the One and true Almighty God. I prayed once more, "Father God, save the wicked from their sins, causing them to see Christ in His glory and repent of their wickedness. And if they don't turn to You, bring justice on them in a way that will cause many to see and fear You," and then willed myself to do a member search through your listings and the name 'Pray69praise' is nowhere to be found. I've concluded that, instead of being a member name, maybe it's a password of some sort.

I have no apologies to give to you for my stated feelings of hate and contempt for your filthy site, but I'm begging and hoping that there is some form of grace and charity dwelling somewhere still in your black and contaminated hearts.

I know, Lord forgive me, that I am humbly having to come before the gates of the domain of Hell and ask the likes of Satan, himself, for help. I hope you can see, through the detailed explanations of my feelings, that I'm contacting you and asking this only because I do so love and miss my Ammon that much.

Enclosed is a copy of his death certificate, obituary in our local newspaper, my power of attorney over his estate, and the routing number for our home computer. All I'm simply asking is that, as his spouse and now widow, as the person who is now committed to preserving and protecting his memory, that if there's a corresponding member name that matches our IP address could you, Literotica... Could you please allow me access to that profile? His profile?

I'm praying for the souls of the people responsible for running this site and for the souls of all your loose and sinful members, and yes, I do so while still asking you to grant me this request. Please. Literotica, from whatever decency that you have remaining in your hearts, help me. Please.

I swear on the Book of Gospels that you will never hear from me again after I am allowed to see the charitable work Ammon was attempting and that you can then completely delete the account within 24 hours of me viewing. My husband is at the right hand side of our Lord and Savior now and it is on Him and His guiding wisdom to see fit to carry on the work started here by my Ammon. I have faith that He will sharpen His sword that protects the Tree of Life to vanquish the spell Satan has cast over you to then allow you to grant my wish and lead you and your readers back to His path. Thank you for listening to the details concerning my current situation. I know that I will be hearing a positive reply back from you soon.

With Prayers,

Ardeth Jensen

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