A Death in Smoking Paradise

"Alice, your right, but we haven't found a boat, if it was suicide; she would have moored her boat up somewhere?"

She paused for a second and looked around and then nodded, she cocked her head to the side and with her spare hand sheltered the cigarette and lighter and her cheeks collapsed around it as she dragged hard a couple of times to get it alight exhaling through her nose as she settled her backside on the edge of the headstone.

"Once DI Walliams has been given her history lesson, maybe we should go looking, it must be here somewhere?" she said with the smoke still pouring out of her mouth.

"Al hon, I know you need your cigarette, and honestly I would really like one too, but please don't get your ash on the blinking crime scene, there are enough of others butts we need to climb through, and we've got the boss here remember, I know we won't find any clues of use, but we got to look professional!" Ryan said almost tutting looking up from the floor as she put her head back and dragged thoughtfully again.

Alice exhaled her cone and then her shoulders sank as she looked down at Ryan and put her hand in front of her mouth apologetically "Oops, shit, yes, blame it on the beers earlier, sorry, Policing 101!" She grinned and shuffled off to the side and stood there with one hand across her slim stomach as she inhaled again, she exhaled and flicked her ash over the bush to the side.

"Just hurry up and get back down here, we need to sweep this whole floor for stuff, there are hundreds of fucking butts and twigs...Oh, look surprise, surprise, another butt." He grumbled picking it up and studying it "Marlboro, it's yet again one of Tanya's!"

"Good find Ry, bag it up with her others...I guess I am not actually used to doing work, remember it's been a while, and the three beers for lunch are not helping my focus!" She said almost naughtily giggling whilst smiling at Ryan and then drew deeply on her cigarette again.

Ryan shook his head again, "Sorry that was my fault, anyway its fine, I just see us as tidying the fucking graveyard of butts, but hey Davina is now here taking control." He looked across at Tanya her hands and cigarette moving around in circles as she was still telling her story, "But I am hoping someone from the hospital comes to collect her at some point, she looks so sad like that." He said glancing at the forlorn lifeless half-dressed body beside them.

Alice shook her head, "Ry, of course she is fucking sad, she is dead!" She rolled her eyes, took a quick drag and exhaled through her nose.

"But look Al," Ryan pointed "DI Walliams has just accepted a cigarette from Tanya! Who knew?" He asked as they watched Davina exhale and flick her cigarette as Tanya she chain-lit hers with a fresh cigarette.

"True Ry, but.... oh...I think this is at this time more important!" Alice bent down behind the gravestone and rustled in the undergrowth between her white latex gloved hands was a pack of sleeping tablets.

"Oh wow, they are just like mine!" Ryan stated eyes wide with confusion.

***

A few hours later once the hospital morgue staff had come across and recovered the body Alice, Ryan and Davina headed back to the police station.

"I know this must be devastating for the island to lose such a young girl, do you have many suicides?" Davina asked as she sat back down in the black chair and pausing as she had to pump it back up again.

"Ma'am death is always around us on this island, as a rule everyone tries to have fun, it's a party island but it seems every month one of the older folks are shipped back to the mainland in a wooden coffin. That is why they are continuously having tourists and giving tours to try and get younger blood and lungs out here." Ryan stated.

"Do they normally involve you in the process of the deaths?" Davina asked as her biro pen bounced as if it was a dangled cigarette between her lips.

"Ma'am no, they are on this island normally, you know, natural deaths, no one, as far as I am aware has ever been murdered on this island." Ryan followed up, "but we can check with our predecessors."

"Ma'am, I am not sure that it was a suicide!" Alice pipped up muffled with her dangled cigarette as she lifted the evidence bags up and placed them on the table.

"Bottle of vodka and tablets, don't think the doctors on the island will find much else inside her." Davina stated as she opened her bag.

"Ma'am, there are two things confusing me, where did she get the box of tablets and where was her boat?" Ryan followed up taking a short drag on his cigarette and exhaling.

Davina looked confused at Alice and Ryan "What do you mean?"

"Al back me up, she can't have been that drunk and to have even contemplated swimming, it was not as if the body, I mean Chardonnay was not soaking wet and I don't think she managed to climb up the beach and stagger her own way there and then throw the tablets away, she must have had help." Ryan followed up.

"Maybe," Alice mused "but talking of a drink, I think it's time we headed up to the bar, there is not a lot more we can do tonight, and I need a very large stiff drink." Alice stated pushing her chair back.

"Officers, do you know where I can sleep tonight?" Davina asked.

Ryan looked at Alice and then at the cell behind them and then the door of the pokey cupboard cum interview room and shook his head. "Did anyone know you were arriving?" He asked.

"Officer, come on, which bit of an unannounced inspection did you not understand?" Davina asked coldly.

"Sorry Ma'am," Ryan said lowering his head a bit as Alice glared and then shook her head at him.

"We will ring Marion and if she is sober enough; but..." Alice stated glanced at the clock on the wall "...I doubt it at this time," Alice mused still looking at the minute hand bouncing on broken clock on the wall, "but she and her husband are in charge of the island and will hopefully find you somewhere to sleep." Alice replied as nervously held her cigarette close to her lips before dragging on it as Ryan sheepishly looked down at the desk and shuffled some loose papers around.

***

"Fuck Mom that was fucking hard to today!" Tanya said as she flumped on to the sofa in the living room kicking her flip-flops off and watching as they slid across the polished tile floor, before tucking her feet under her dirty moss-covered bottom.

"I assume you want something stronger?" Marion burred as she leant against the breakfast bar and exhaled.

"Please Mom!" She asked as she flicked open the pack beside her and extracted the lighter and cigarettes and promptly lit it with a deep double drag, exhaling the thick cone to the ceiling.

"Excellent, a wonderful excuse to open another bottle of vodka" Marion grinned and slowly swayed and staggered over to the cabinet and extracted the bottle of SPIL own brand vodka and a couple of glasses. "Shush!" She tipsily giggled "Don't tell your dad!"

"Mom, please not the vodka not after looking at the bottle in front of Chardonnay, can we have something else?"

Marion nodded, "Oh okay, sorry." She shook her head as she put the bottle back and then hummed and ahh'd and then picked up the open bottle of SPIL gin instead and unsteadily glided over to the sofa and nosily placed the glasses and the bottle on the wooden table.

"Thanks Mom, it was bloody scary this afternoon." She tutted and dragged hard again.

"I can imagine! Your dad has just gone out to help the police, I would have thought you would have passed? They need a house for a visiting inspector, we have given her number twenty-two, The Simons, as they are off the island for a few weeks, and think it was cleaned last weekend?" Marion mused.

"Oh hell, I totally forgot about that, I should have done something to help Davina, I was a bit distracted on Trudy." Tanya stated as she flicked her cigarette on the table and then gulped some of the neat gin, in which she coughed and then winced and sticking her tongue out afterwards. "Mom have we any tonic?" She asked as she ran her tongue around her lips and then dragged on her cigarette.

"Oh, no, sorry Tan I forgot, I don't bother, and just drink it neat, it works a treat!" Marion smiled wryly at her attempt at humour, her laughter lines on dark tanned skin around her forehead and mouth wrinkling deep.

"Fuck that, I think I will head back down to the bar for a couple; I need something sweet and very alcoholic to drink!" Tanya placed the cigarette between her teeth and levered herself out of the chair.

"Are you okay Tan, are going to stay for food? I think Mary is coming up and will hopefully cook it?"

Tanya took a short drag, placed the cigarette between her fingers and exhaled as she shook her head, "Mom, no I am not okay, and after today, I think tonight I need a drink or two and smoke!" Then she dragged hard again and almost angrily headed to the door.

"Darlin oh please drive carefully and don't forget your cigarettes for the driv..." Marion called out as she frowned as she looked at the pack on the table slowly turned her head as the door slammed. She shrugged her shoulders and sipped her neat gin and smiled then took a leisurely long drag on her cigarette and as she exhaled as the door slowly opened and Tanya solemnly walked back in and picked the pack up before giving her mom a quick smile and a kiss on the forehead before leaving again.

***

"Thank you both for getting all the evidence to the lab at the hospital." Davina smiled as she untied her ponytail and let her dark frizzy hair fall free and ran her hands through it, revealing her dark stained sweaty armpits.

"No problem, Ma'am, we will shortly be heading to the bar for a drink and wind down, if you care to join us?"

Davina smiled and screwed her mouth up as she thought and then shook her head slightly "Sorry, no, not this evening officers, as we have a busy day tomorrow, and I am in definite need a shower, this island is far too hot!" She flapped her arms before raising her them again to highlight her problem. Picking the shirt out in the process before wiping her hand again on her trousers. "It's just far too hot and sticky on this island." She repeated before putting her hair back up again and tightening the hairband around it.

"Yes, Ma'am it is, that is why, err..." Ryan looked awkwardly at Alice "...people don't tend to wear too many clothes, and probably drink too much!" He sheepishly grinned.

"On that note, enjoy the bar tonight, and on that I will need to get myself sorted, good evening officers. I shall see you both at your office for 8 am promptly; we will need to start interviewing everyone." She said and turned dismissively and headed towards the bedroom as she started to unbutton her sweaty shirt.

"Good night, Ma'am" Ryan and Alice said in unison her back before also turning and heading out the door.

As they closed the door, Ryan offered his cigarette pack to Alice and she extracted a cigarette, they both proceeded to light up as they walked to their buggy before collapsing into the uncomfortable plastic seat and simultaneously dragging hard again the two cherries of their cigarettes burning brightly against the dusky sky.

"Ry," Alice sighed with her exhale and slouched into the buggy seat, "sadly we'd better not go back to the bar then..." she mused "...however much we really need a drink."

***

"Hey Tanya, I am sorry to hear about today." Martha said as Tanya moped over, half raising a hello of smile as she came back from the bar clutching a couple of packs of cigarettes between her fingers in one hand and a double gin and tonic in the other.

"Yeah, it was not good; it's depressing the death that hangs over this place sometimes." Tanya said as she pulled one her cigarettes out the pack and leaned into the flame that Martha offered her and then her cheeks collapsed around the cork filter.

"You should see it some days up at the hospital; it's more of a hospice..." Martha said shaking her head as it was clear the sad thoughts filled her brain, so she then placed her cigarette between her lips and drew on it to counter such thoughts.

"Mart, she was so young, what like 10 years older than me?" Tanya asked.

"I think she is the same age as me." Martha agreed.

"Where is Hannah, has she found herself a man already?" Tanya asked with a cheeky smile looking around.

Martha chuckled "No not yet, yes she probably wants too...she is here; she has what can only be diagnosed as second drink syndrome" Martha laughed, "she has only popped to the toilets!"

"Ah, ok," Tanya said with a smile as she looked up to see Hannah shuffling back shaking her hands dry on her large floaty summer dress.

"I am sorry to hear about today, Tanya; it must have been devastating." Hannah said as she sat down an instinctively extracted a cigarette from the pack in front of her.

Tanya gulped her drink and nodded "I know it's wrong, but I feel numb, just want to block it out the whole of today with a few or more of these this evening!" Then she gulped more of her drink down before manicuring her cigarette in the clean ashtray and her cheeks collapsing deep as she pulled hard on the cork filter between her lips.

"As a doctor, I will say be careful tonight especially getting home, but as friend Tanya, do you want another drink?" Martha smiled as she asked as she pushed the chair back "As I've got to work tonight, can you do me a favour?" She grinned at Tanya, "please look after Hannah tonight as I know will want another drink or three!" She grinned at both of them as Tanya nodded and dragged on her cigarette.

"Hell yeah, of course I can, just make our drinks doubles." She sighed with her exhale and then picked up her glass downed her drink in one gulp, wincing as it burned her throat.

Wednesday Morning

Alice and Ryan were sitting, all freshly washed, shaved, and smelling sweetly ready in the police station at seven fifty-five in anticipation of Davina impending arrival. It had been a struggle, but after several cigarettes and coffee, they had got there. Their freshly cleaned that morning ashtrays now had two butts stubbed out in it and they were in the process of nervously lighting third as the door opened.

"Good morning, Alice and Ryan." Davina smiled brightly standing in front of them in a summery short skirt with large red flowers and her mismatching police issue blue vest top highlighting her white bra straps contrasting against her dark skin.

"Morning Ma'am!" They chanted back as if in school assembly their hands hovering over their cigarette packs.

"I assume you have got a list of people to interview properly this morning?"

"Err, yes, err we were thinking of starting with Tanya?" Ryan replied, "But maybe we should leave her a while, as she won't be up yet. Should we get Katya, her former house mate in first?"

Davina shook her head tutting, "No, we don't have time, go and wake her up. We really can't wait around for her to get over her self-inflicted hangover." Davina stated sternly.

"Ma'am according to our morning scan of last night's CCTV she literally didn't fall out of the bar with Hannah and a gentleman until gone two, so she really won't be awake yet." Alice stated before placing a cigarette between her recently applied dark red cherry lips.

"Either way Alice, please go and wake her up!"

"Oh, right, yes Ma'am." Alice said before cocking her head slight to the side and lighting her cigarette. "I will go and pick her up shortly." She stated as the smoke poured out of her mouth.

"Thank you, now Ryan who else was on the island of ..." she looked at her notes "...Trudy recently?" She asked as Alice fussed around slowly getting things together.

Err I was out there on Sunday!" Ryan replied sheepishly.

"It was Monday you went to the island!" Alice piped up as she looked inside her draw for something, before getting new pen out.

"Oh, was it? It's easy to lose track of days out here. Either way I didn't see Chardonnay dead or alive, I had, err, no reason to go to the cemetery." He stated as both Davina and Alice eyes momentarily intensely studied him.

"Thank you, Ryan, it also must be said, I also appreciate you both being promptly professional and actually FULLY dressed this morning."

"Yes ma'am. Honestly, we do try." Ryan said as he adjusted his shirt collar, wiping a bit of misplaced shaving foam and then picked up and threw the keys to the buggy to Alice who just about caught them with her cigarette hand, the ash falling to the floor as the keys landed in the hand.

"I will see you both later, do we need anything else?" Alice asked before placing her cigarette between her lips as she reached the door.

"No thanks Hon, I mean Alice." Ryan replied correcting himself.

"Thanks Alice, Ryan have we got the toxicology report back?" Davina barked as she turned to Ryan.

"This isn't the mainland, things take a while, and as such they should be back before nine."

Davina frowned "Well in that case, I better have a coffee if you are offering?" She then and then looked and studied at her watch.

"Of course, also in that case can I tempt you with a cigarette or two with your coffee whilst we wait?" Ryan asked turning the pack around to face her.

"Err," She looked around at the empty room and smiled wickedly "I won't say no!" she grinned as she extracted the white tube from the between her blue glittery painted nails.

***

Alice pulled the handbrake with a crunch on the buggy as she parked it alongside the awkwardly and clumsily parked with one on the driveway. The front wheel squashing a plant in the flower bed by the front door, she was surprised that somehow, they had still managed to get it plugged in and charging. She shook her head and then paused and looked in the rear-view mirror and quickly put her bright red hair up in a ponytail and as studied herself she pulled at her face and winced as she looked at her tired and stressed face. It had obviously filled out living on the island, she stretched her growing crow's feet in the corner of her eyes in attempt to smooth them out and stared at a couple of blemishes and spots on her freckled but nicely tanned cheeks before refocusing on her hair as she tugged at it and straightened it out in her hairband. She looked down and undid the top button on her shirt and smiled. Then opened her purse and took out her lipstick and applied in in the mirror licking her lips together. She then put a cigarette between her lips and using her red SPIL lighter Ryan had conveniently left on the dash of the buggy, she had no idea where hers was, as she got the cigarette alight with two deep stress relieving drags. She exhaled through her nose and then hopped out of the buggy with a gentle throat clearance of cough and headed for the front door.

She pushed the front door open. As expected, it was unlocked. The house was as usual quiet even for that time in the morning. Alice paused and smiled at the gentle snoring reverberating around the building as well knew this house was a night owl of a place. As she sort of expected there was no one around. She smiled at the thoughts that they were all fast asleep, she assumed hungover. Raised her chest with confidence and then purposely strode into the living room. It was not difficult to notice the empty bottles of wine and gin scattered around and the various cigarette packs and full to overflowing ashtrays. All dotted around the house unemptied as if there had been a recent party. She leaned over one and flicked off her growing ash off, before turning and walking down the hallway towards the bedroom. She momentarily paused to drag on her cigarette and listen to the louder snoring noises coming down the hallway; whilst she exhaled, she looked on the floor.