- Romance
- Deep Throat at the Couch Pt. 01
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DEEP THROAT AT THE COUCH
CHAPTER 1
She stands facing me. I run my hands down her arms, my nails scrapping along her skin, down along the palms of her hands, across the inside of her fingers. My hands move to her waist, one on each side.
I put my fingers inside her slacks and pull them down to her ankles. I lift her feet one at a time, pull her slacks under them and toss them in the corner. I move my hands slowly up her legs, my thumbs on the inside of her thighs rub against her cunt lips as they move up her body. My hands move under her blouse and pull it over her head and up over her arms. I toss it in the corner with her slacks.
I take a large scissors from a table behind me, open the blades, and slide one along her skin, up under her bra. I close the scissors cutting her bra and exposing her breasts. Her nipples are starting to harden. I turn the scissors downward and slide it down her left side, one blade sliding under her panties. I close it cutting her panty lose from her side. I move the scissors to the other side and cut that side of her panties. They fall to the floor leaving her pussy bared before me. I return the scissors to the table. I put my hands on her shoulders and slowly push her bra straps down over her shoulders, her bra falls to the floor. She stands naked before me, her nipples pointing straight at me, getting harder and harder.
CHAPTER 2
I undress, tossing my clothes in the corner on top of hers. We stand there facing each other, her hard nipples pointing straight at me, my hard cock pointing straight at her. I reach out and take her nipples between my thumbs and forefingers, I roll them round and round. She feels the sensation through her body. My left hand fingers continue rolling her right nipple sometimes pulling and stretching it. I move my right hand and arm out away from her body. I take a swing and slap her left tit. I slap it several more times, back and forth with my palm and then with the back of my hand while twisting and pulling her other npple. She winces but there is a gleam in her eyes. She's enjoying it.
CHAPTER 3
I gently push her back to a couch behind her. I put her down on her knees, her back against the couch, her head just above the cushions. There are ropes on the couch. I take one and tie it around her right wrist. I pull it so her arm is extended straight out to the side of her body. I pull the rope along the side of the couch, around the back to the other side and along the other side. I tie that end around her left wrist and tighten it up so both her arms are extended out to her sides. Her tits look so nice pointing out like that. I take another rope and tie one end around her right thigh pulling it out to spread her leg away from her body. I pull it around behind the front leg of the couch, stretching it behind the other front leg of the couch, bringing it around and tying it around her left thigh. I pull it tight opening her legs wide. What a pretty site she is, kneeling there, her legs spread wide, her arms stretched out, her pussy bared, her tits hard, her body waiting for me to use it for my pleasure.
CHAPTER 4
I move to her right and put my foot up on th couch just behind her right arm. I bend my leg and put my knee down on the couch. I take her head in my hands and turn her toward me, her lips brush across the tip of my dick. I gently push into her mouth, her tongue flicks the tip of my dick. I go in deeper then pull back a little. I push forward again going a little deeper and again I pull back. Back and forth, back and forth, a little deeper each time. I can see her left hand at the end of the rope, her fingers are curled, she's enjoying it. I go deeper, I feel something, maybe her tonsils. I push deeper and they open up. She girggles a little so I pull back and let her catch her breath. I push in again and I can feel the back of her throat. I hold her head tight and push hard. Ooooooooh, that feels so good. I shove as hard as I can, she can't escape, I cum hard and shoot down her throat. I pull back and shove again, and again, and again. I cum again. Soooo good. Tears come to her eyes. That gets me even harder and I go back and forth, faster and faster, fucking her throat hard. I cum again. I pull back and relax letting her recuperate.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 2 years agoCongratulations on your first story here. You've presented an erotic scene but it could be better. Please take this as constructive criticism to help you improve your writing.
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First, this is an Erotic Coupling, BDSM, Fetish, or maybe something else, but there's not enough of a story for most readers in the Romance category to really see it fitting in this category, particularly with some of what went on in the story. Stories generally do better when placed in the correct category so people who enjoy that category can find the work. Since this isn't exactly appropriate for the Romance category, many readers might tend to downvote the story as not what they were expecting.
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The story is brief, very brief, just a hundred words or so over the LIt minimum for a story and it consists of one scene, essentially a vignette, but it's divided into four chapters, three of which are a single paragraph. You might ditch the chapters since they're so short as to be meaningless and concentrate instead on dividing your work into more effective paragraphs. There's no dialogue in this, so use changes in action or focus to break it up so the reader can digest each part rather than gulping it all down in one furious charge. It will make it easier for readers on cellphones to read, too, instead of having a big wall of text.
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Finally, dialogue can be your friend. So much of this is "I" or "my" focused, with a few on "she" or "her" but let the reader inside the participants heads with them expressing their thoughts aloud. That might not be as appropriate here due to the nature of their coupling, but keep it in mind for future stories.
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That said, I didn't rate this since it wasn't what I expected based on the category and I don't want to affect your score negatively. I hope this and the advice above helps with your future work.
Anonymousalmost 2 years agoOK premise.
Not a story. Barely a scene.
No indication of place, individuals, reason why they're doing what they're doing.
Two stars. That's being generous.
Anonymousalmost 2 years ago'Chapter' is not a synonym for 'paragraph' despite what you did above. This is not a story, not erotic and definitely not even slightly romantic, either.
