All Comments on 'Deer in the Headlights'

Bitches get really ugly really fast, even if they seem pretty on first sight.

Please, you're writing to adults, not third graders.

Do not end the tale with To be continued.

we know that.

The bigger challenge you have is not even closing this tale well. Poor, very poor. This is what 15 minutes at the most. Maybe it turns into three hours before the date wil Gill -- I would have run my hand up her leg while she was stepping on my phone.

This story should be a one and done, unless you're a third grader and have to send before Mommy opens the door.

This is a great and promising start? I look forward to see how she conquers him!

I thought it was cute. Ignore the other comment. Some people can't offer criticism without revealing their own terrible inadequacy as human beings. Also, some people confuse their opinions with facts. There's nothing wrong with ending your story, "to be continued."

It did feel a bit like your story ended in the middle of events, rather than at a natural break off point. There were also one or two points that seemed to be need a little editing, but nothing serious. Lord knows it's true of my stories as well. Have fun writing!

Thoroughly enjoyable, thank you for your submission.

Would like her to be especially cruel.

Looking forward to the continuation

Great story, enjoyed it a lot. Can‘t wait for part 2