Demons and Angels

End of January - The Welcome Back Party

Directly in front of me, DJ 402K is furiously waving his hands in the air.

"FEEL THE BEAT," he yells repeatedly over the music.

The red and green strobe lights glare in my eyes as I pause from dancing and look around me. It was the weekend before classes started for the spring semester of my freshman year. With the winter holiday season in the rearview and next semester swiftly approaching, the energy was one of excitement, eagerness, and a hint of lethargy due to large amounts of family holiday meals. The large, newly built frat house is filled to the brim with bodies of all sorts. This is one of the biggest parties of the year, and everyone seems to be showing out. The theme is sports related, so everyone is either wearing a jersey or a suggestive cheerleader outfit. I've just arrived with my friend Kristin, slightly drunk from some wine her sorority sisters had slipped in her room, but not drunk enough for my social anxiety to disappear. Unfortunately.

"Oh no," I hear my friend, Kristin say loudly over the EDM music. I follow her gaze to the right where Scott is standing on a couch, with only a pair of boxers and dirty white sneakers. He is stomping on the couch aggressively and swinging his shirt above his head as his frat brothers cheer him on.

That poor couch.

Suddenly, he jumps off the couch and him and his brothers form a limbo line, filing one after the other with their hands grasping each other's shoulders.

I giggle.

Scott is very attractive and quite intelligent, but he doesn't strike me as someone you would want to get to know. You know those guys that just have something...missing? They seem perfectly fine on paper but when you talk to them, you don't feel anything and you're not entirely sure they are actually human beings with real emotions. He tried to hook up with Kristin a couple times, but always ruined it by saying something offensive within the first few sentences of each conversation.

He sees us watching him and winks, before sauntering over.

"Kristin. Mya. You girls having a good time?"

Kristin puts on a fake smile. "Yes, but not as good of a time as you, it seems."

He grins.

"Well, come hang with me and I can show you how to have a better time," he says slyly.

I look at Kristin to gauge her interest. I'm telling you, every single time they've tried to hook up, he has ruined it. But this time he seems to be doing okay...

"I can beat out your back for you, too."

Well, there it goes.

I hear an exasperated sigh from Kristin before she says, "No, I'm with my girl," and gestures towards me.

Please don't say anything about a threesome.

Scott shrugs. Well come find me when you're ready," he says, walking away.

Kristin looks at me and rolls her eyes.

"I'm surprised though. He really is persistent," I say.

"Persistently offensive and idiotic, yes," she says.

Our laughter is cut short by our sudden separation. Someone pulls me from behind by the buckle of my impossibly tight, high waisted jeans.

I shriek and turn around, only to see Al grinning behind me.

"Dance with me?" he says.

And with those words uttered from his perfectly plump lips, my social anxiety skyrockets. I've always been insecure about dancing, For some reason. I have the worse coordination known to man. I never know where in space my arms and legs are in relation to each other, and I always feel incredibly uncomfortable, unless I'm really drunk.

I've been told I am a decent dancer when I'm really drunk, which has led me to believe my anxiety is the main reason for my bad dancing. Unfortunately, in this moment, I'm just not drunk enough.

I shake my head, almost instinctually and immediately cringe.

The truth is, I would have loved to dance with Al, but all my worries and fears suppress my desires at parties and turn me into a nervous wreck whenever an attractive guy so much as looks my way.

Social anxiety is a demon, I tell you.

Al smiles.

"Don't worry, one of these days we will dance together," he says before releasing my belt loop. I watch as he grabs another girl near me by her belt buckle, too. She also shrieks, but upon seeing Al's handsome, grinning face, she soon begins to grind against him.

She's living the life I wish I had.

Kristin grabs my arm.

"I know you did not just turn Al down! What is wrong with you?"

I shrug. "You know how I get when guys talk to me," I whine.

"Yes, but you're kind of into him! You have to start somewhere!" she scolds me.

I was about to respond, but my eyes are somehow drawn to the main doorway. Keep in mind this is a very crowded party, with people moving all over the place. Yet, when he walks in I can literally feel a change in the air as everything seems to stand still.

Am I in Twilight right now?

Almost as tall as the doorframe, he slowly walks into the main hall. His white sleeveless jersey showcases his magnificently muscular arms. In the red and green strobe lights, I can't make out much, but what I can see is enough to make my heart swoon. He has short, light-colored hair, either blonde or a very light brown. His eyes were a little far apart and seemed to slope downward but in a way that was ridiculously handsome. His nose was perfectly straight and just the right size for his square face. His jawline was sharp and seemed to be covered in some scruff. He nods towards someone standing on the other side of the door, and smiles. His perfectly straight teeth light up his entire face.

I have fallen in love.

I pick my jaw up from the floor and turn to look at Kristin.

"Do you see the guy that just walked in?"

She turns to the entrance and looks surprisingly at me. "Oh, he's a cutie! Look how tall he is. Oh and look at his friends!"

"What friends---" I trail off. Standing next to my new muse are two equally tall, muscular, and gorgeous guys. One has long, blonde hair with a thick beard. The other one also has long but dark hair that he's tied into a manbun. I was so caught up in their friend that I didn't even notice them, but after inspecting each of them, I realize they all are very handsome and very intimidating. Squinting, I realize the one with the manbun was in one of my classes the previous semester, Ryder. He seemed nice, but very quiet compared to the other football players. Ryder always came to class early, sat in the front row, and took notes during lecture, which was more than I could say for myself. The blonde one was also in one of my classes, but I barely remember seeing him. He reminded me of Chris Hemsworth in Thor, though. With his flowing blonde hair and piercing eyes.

"Look any harder and you'll pop a blood vessel," Kristin says to me. I look away embarrassed, I always get carried away and forget other people can see me.

"Ugh, let's get more alcohol," I say.

Kristin shakes her head. "We're on campus, remember? There won't be anything here, the frat guys don't want to risk getting caught."

I sigh, I was hoping I could drink more and erase my memory of Ryder's handsome friend. Not that Ryder wasn't handsome himself, but I knew he had a long-term girlfriend from a different school.

I knew this because I stalked his social media.

Kristin pulls me closer to the DJ.

"Let's just have a good time!"

I nod my head and close my eyes a little to internalize her energy. Unlike me, she was a magnificent dancer and knew how to charm pretty much any man. We were opposites in that department.

DJ 402K plays a song I recognize, and I start to loosen up as I rap the lyrics to Kristin. Even though I'm pretty caught up in our rap-along, out the corner of my eye I realize Ryder and his handsome friend are standing close to us. Suddenly, my entire body feels hot. Is his friend.... looking at me? Nonononononono!

I turn Kristin and slowly guide her further away from them, but in doing so I have now put my back to them.

Why would he look at you, of all people?

We're fine for a few minutes until Kristin's face lights up with a ridiculously big grin. She's dancing and looking at me but smiling a bit too hard. My blood runs cold. There's only one reason why she would do that, and that would be because Ryder's friend, a.k.a. Mr. Handsome was nearby.

I shake my head and walk a little closer to Kristin, but she continues to grin at me. Before I know it, she's mouthing something to me. I can't really make out what she's saying.

I'm also scared of what she might be saying.

I cock my head to the side and mouth, "What"?

To which she says loudly, "He wants to dance with you."

And before I can react, I feel a warm hand pinch my ass.

No!