Denial and Acceptance Pt. 04

I started at the words for a long time before I finally sent the message. I switched back and found Finn's messages so I could tell her where I was.

D -- Hey, in SC with Micky and Em, but I'll be back in time for next season. Put me on the roster.

I closed the messages and started fucking around online when my phone rang. I looked down and saw Finn's contact.

"Hey, what's up Finn?"

"What's up? What the fuck do you mean you're in SC? Are you ok? Is Micky ok?"

Finn knew my sister since they came to visit twice a year. Emily loved Finn and Finn loved spoiling my niece even more than I did.

"Yeah, they're all good. Just wanted to come see the family."

"No one's dying? No broken bones? My Em-monster is doing well?"

"I swear on my Toyota, everyone's fine."

Finn was quiet for a moment and I knew what her next question was going to be.

"So, why the sudden trip?"

"Just wanted to get out of town."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"No other possible reason?"

"Well, the job sucks, so there's that."

"Bullshit. You just told me the job was back on track and you were getting more free time."

Shit.

"It's still a job, Finn. I'm allowed to not like it."

"What's going on, Dan?"

She never used my name.

"Nothing, Finn."

"Goddammit, Dan, You can't lie to me. I know you too well. Are you ok?"

"I swear I'm ok, Finn."

"And you're coming back?"

"I swear I'm coming back. I'll be there on Dec 4. Project goes into production on the 6^th and I promised to be in person."

Finn was quiet for another moment.

"What the fuck, Dan, that's four weeks!"

"I can do math as well, Finn, I know."

"Uugghh. Who the hell am I supposed to hang out with for a whole month?"

"Umm...Trina?"

"We...sort of aren't seeing each other."

"Well, that was quick. What happened?"

"She was getting clingy."

"What, did she ask what you were doing next Friday?" I asked, laughing.

"This Tuesday."

"Wait, you're serious?"

"Alright! I don't know, man. I just...I just don't see anything with her. She's cute and fun and the sex is great and all, but..."

"Jesus, Finn, boundaries."

"...but I just don't seeing us going anywhere."

"So instead of having some fun, you just toss her away."

"Well, I wouldn't phrase it like that, but I guess."

"You're such a dude, Finn."

"Whatever. I'm not taking advice from a guy I haven't seen go on a date in what, four months?"

"I had a date."

"You had coffee, Dan. That's not a date. And you never called her after."

"Ah, well, she never called me either."

"Whatever, the point is, you're not in any position to give advice on relationships, so shut it."

She had me, there.

"Alright, alright. You win."

"So why's Ake texting me about you?"

That was a question I wasn't ready for.

"Dan?"

"What do you mean?"

I leaned forward and opened the bottle of bourbon before pouring some into my glass. I had a feeling I'd need some for this conversation. Normally I'd just cut it short, but Finn had a way of getting me to talk. I called it her annoying detective mode. She called it her super lesbian intuition.

"What the fuck do you think I mean? Why would Ake be asking about you?"

"I have no idea why you're asking me. I'm not the one texting you about him, am I?"

"Don't change the subject. Are you seeing him?"

"No."

"Because you know I wouldn't care, right? I'd be happy for you two."

"We're not seeing each other, Finn."

"I'd even keep it a secret if you wanted to keep it on the low."

"We're not seeing each other, Finn."

"And he's a great person, and really fucking cute, so I could see why you'd be into him."

"We're not seeing each other, Finn."

"He's pretty much your type too. Petite, blond, great eyes, good butt."

"Goddammit, Finn. We're not seeing each other!"

"Damn, I was hoping we could all gay double date."

"What the fuck is a gay double date?"

"You know, a double date, but with gay people!"

"You're an idiot."

"A little odd that he'd be texting me asking where you might be." she was serious again.

"Wait, when did he text you?"

"Hold on." She was clearly checking her messages, "Looks like around four this afternoon, my time."

"Ah, I was on a plane and had turned my phone off."

"So? You left town."

"Yeah, but I sort of didn't let him know?"

"If you're not seeing him, why would you need to let him know?"

I sighed, "Because that's what a friend would do?"

"Damn right, you prick!"

"I'm sorry Finn. I should have texted you before I left to let you know where I would be and where I hide my spare key so you could feed my cat."

"You don't have a cat."

"No shit."

"But where's your key? I might need to check on your back deck in case it blew away in the storm."

"What storm?"

"And I could check on your scotch collection so it doesn't get lonely."

"Ain't gonna happen. We drink that shit together."

"Spoil sport."

"When it comes to my scotch, or beer for that matter, absolutely."

"Alright, alright. So, December 4?"

"December 4."

"You tell Ake that?"

"I did."

"Ok. You got a ride from the airport?"

"I do now, apparently."

"Oh, no, I was just going to say you could use my Uber account if you didn't have one."

"Fuck you Finn, I'll see you in a month."

"Later honey bunny. Miss me!"

Before I could reply, she'd hung up. I loved that woman, but she was irritating. More irritating than my own sister.

I finished the bourbon I'd poured and checked my phone. No message from Ake. I tossed it on the table in front of me and reached for the remote to turn on the TV. Three hours later I woke up on the couch, turned off the TV, and staggered to the guest room. I collapsed face first onto the bed and fell asleep in my clothes.

"Uncle Dan mom says it's time to get up!"

I opened my eyes as saw the room was already bathed in light. I struggled to sit up and smiled at Emily who was still standing in the door.

"Why are you still in your clothes?"

Ah, kids. No filter between brain and mouth.

"I was tired. I guess I just fell asleep before I could get to it."

"Oh. Ok. Well, I'll tell mom you're up."

"Thanks munchkin."

"That's Captain Munchkin to you!" she called from down the hallway.

I dug through my bag and grabbed my toiletries and a change of clothes. I went to the bathroom, showered, brushed my teeth and got dressed. I already felt better.

"Hey sis." I kissed my sister's cheek as I stepped around her in the kitchen to get some coffee.

"Morning. Long night?"

"I guess. Finn called and talked my ear off for awhile."

"Finny?!" Emily squealed.

"Yes, Finny called. She said to give you a big squeeze and tell you she loved you."

"Then I want my squeeze!"

I lifted Emily up and gave her a strong hug as I spun her around. She laughed in my ear, then started squealing as I started tickling her ribs. She was panting and smiling big when I put her down.

I finished pouring my coffee and sat down as my sister spooned some eggs onto a plate in front of me. There was already bacon and toast on the plate.

"You spoil me."

"Damn right I do." she muttered

"Yeah, damn right she does!" Emily happily copied.

Mack sighed. "Please don't swear, Em. Remember it's for big people."

"Fine!" she said and rolled her eyes. I just laughed.

We fell into a bit of a routine as the days passed. I started running every day, using the time to process the variety of thoughts that were bouncing around my head. I helped out around the house, and was often in charge of picking Emily up and dropping her off at her various activities. I would also help her with homework.

"You sure you can't just move to South Carolina and do this full time?" My sister asked, jokingly.

"Yeah, can you?!" Emily had such hope in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Captain, I have to get back to work."

"Mom and dad are coming down for Thanksgiving. They weren't planning on it, but since you're here, we thought it would be good to get together again."

"That sounds great. I haven't seen them in awhile."

Thanksgiving was wonderful. I got on great with my parents, and it was just nice to have the entire family together again. Emily was ecstatic, of course. She was the center of attention and doted on by everyone.

All too soon, my parents had left, and it was time for me to return home. We all shed a few tears, and I found myself struggling to let Emily go when it was time to walk through security. As I sat on the plane, all I could think of was the fact that I had never heard from Ake.

I'd texted him now and then, even sending him a photo of Emily and I with our faces painted from a local fair. But I never received a response.

I should have called.

It was the last thought I had before falling into a restless sleep.

I heard the door open and glanced up to see Ake walking in. He was clearly in a good mood because he was walking on the balls of his feet. His legs looked amazing in the tight athletic pants he wore when he went running, and the tank top he wore did little to hide the rest of his figure. His blue eyes were bright as he smiled at me.

"Honey, you're home." I said and smiled.

He walked up and kissed me.

"I'd cuddle, but I'm a mess. I'm going to go clean up."

He walked toward our bedroom, pulling the tank top over his head. I was stunned every time I saw him from the back. Topless now, with his blond hair let down, I would have bet anyone $1,000 I was looking at a beautiful woman.

He looked over his shoulder and winked at me before disappearing around the corner. I waited a few minutes before closing my laptop and walking toward our bedroom. I was peeling clothes off on the way and was naked when I got to the bathroom. I slid the curtain opened and saw him soaping his hair up.

That cute little butt was begging to be squeezed, so I did.

He gasped, then smiled, his eyes still closed tight to prevent soap from entering them. I found some soapless skin on his shoulder and kissed him there. Then another. By now I had pressed my body against his.

He groaned and pushed his hips back, grinding his butt against my hard cock, all thoughts of finishing soaping his hair gone as he placed his hands against the shower wall.

*Ding!*

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are descending for final approach to SeaTac Airport. Please bring your chairs to their upright positions, raise your tray tables and stow any personal belongings in the overhead bins or in the seats in front of you."

I sighed as the dream faded. I'd been having dreams like those for the past two weeks. Every time I woke, I was confused and aroused. I still wasn't sure what I was going to do about Ake. But, considering the fact that he wasn't replying to my texts, maybe there was nothing to do about it.

I texted Finn when I was walking off the plane to let her know I'd be another ten to fifteen minutes as I waited for my checked bags. She told me where she was parked by the curb outside, and to hurry. I tossed my bags in the back seat of her car before climbing in front. Before she could pull away, I pulled her in for a hug.

"Aww, you did miss me!" She said, smiling.

"Of course I did. How else was I going to get home?"

"You can still take a cab, you know."

"Don't tempt me. Did you feed my cat?"

"Your cat is dead. Mine, however, has found a new playmate."

"Jesus, Finn, boundaries."

"Shut up, you love it."

She proceeded to tell me about the new woman she was seeing.

"Wait, wait. Six dates?"

"Yep!"

"And no sex?"

"Nope!"

"Are you ok?"

She was quiet for a moment. "You know, Dan. I think I am. I really like this girl. I think I'm going to give this one a try."

"No shit, eh? Then I'm happy for you."

"Does that mean I get your bottle of 21-year port wood as a kind of 'Congratulations on not being a complete ho' award?"

"No, but it does mean I'm willing to open the bottle and have a glass with you to celebrate."

She pumped her fist in the air before doing a little dance in her seat. I just laughed. We got to my place and I unlocked the door to a stale-smelling house. Maybe I should have had Finn keep an eye on it. At least it wouldn't feel like I was walking into a tomb.

"Whew. Crack a window, eh? Smells like an old closet in here. Probably should have let me keep an eye on things, eh?"

"Honestly, yeah, I probably should have."

She lightly punched my shoulder as she walked by.

"Go ahead and pour us some. I'm going to put my shit away."

"Waaaay ahead of you. Hurry up before you come back and find an empty bottle."

"I know where you live, Finn!" I yelled from the hallway.

I decided to just toss my bags on the bed and deal with them later. I walked back to the kitchen and found Finn there, holding two glasses of scotch, both with one ice cube.

"Cheers, Finn. Congrats on the adult relationship!" I held the glass up before taking a drink.

"Thanks man. I mean, as good as this whiskey is, and it's really fucking good, if she asked, I'd consider only drinking wine."

"But you like wine."

"Shut up, I'm expressing my love for my girlfriend."

"So, tell me about her."

So she did. At length. I'd finished my glass and changed to water. Finn helped herself to another glass, though I honestly couldn't blame her. Balvenie's 21-year old port wood scotch really was amazing.

"Wait, you met her at a spin class?"

"Yeah, so?"

I started laughing. Hard. She just stood there and smiled before finally joining me in laughing.

"You 100% saw a hot girl at the gym and followed her. When you realized you had followed her into a spin class, it was too late to leave. Tell me I'm wrong!"

"Well, you're not, not wrong, but I followed her to the sign-up sheet for the class. I couldn't come up with any other excuse for standing so close to her, so I signed up too."

"Spin class, that's hilarious."

"It kicked my ass, Dan. I mean, well and truly kicked my ass. Hand to god, I sat in my car and cried after the first session. I had never been so tired in my life."

I shook my head at the image. "But you went back."

"She's pretty."

"Fair enough." I'm sure I'd done things just as dumb for the attention of a woman. "And it's serious?"

"I think so. We haven't really said we're officially dating, but we text all the time and hang out whenever we can."

As if on queue, her phone dinged. She thumbed out a quick reply and stuffed her phone back into her pocket.

"Gotta run?"

Finn actually blushed.

"I mean, not right now, but soon."

"No worries, Finn. I'm wiped and that drink put me down another peg anyway. The flight's catching up to me, so I'm going to get cleaned up and pass out."

"Lightweight."

"That's Mister Lightweight to you."

"Hey, speaking of light, how's Ake."

"That's about the clumsiest segue I've ever heard."

"Shut up, answer the question."

"I honestly don't know. I never heard from him."

"At all?"

"Not once. I texted him now and then, but he never replied."

"Are you going to tell me what's going on, there?"

"There's still no 'there', Finn. I just told you he didn't reply. I don't think he wants to even be friends."

"So you blew it."

I was quiet for awhile before finally speaking again. I couldn't look her in the eyes.

"Honestly, Finn, I don't know if there was anything to blow, so to speak."

Somehow she managed to let that one slide without making a crude comment at my expense.

"I don't even really know if this is something I want, or if it's something I can deal with."

"So you're open to the idea, you just haven't accepted it, yet?" she asked.

"I don't know that I'm even open to it. Forty years of my life..."

"Forty-five!" she quickly corrected, smiling.

"Forty-five years is a long time to think about a rather important part of your life one way."

"I don't know about that. I've known I was a card-carrying member since I saw Michele Drista's panties in the 9^th grade."

"So what if, hypothetically, you looked at me over a glass of scotch and thought, 'wait, Dan's kind of hot'?"

"Ok, first, ew, but second, I honestly don't know. I mean, I think I'd face it head on and deal with it, but until I'm in that situation I don't know how I'd react."

"Well, I'm in that situation and I have no idea how to react, still."

"That sounds like it sucks." she admitted.

"That it does, Finn, that it does."

It was quiet in the kitchen as we both just stood there. She was staring at the bit of scotch she still had in her glass, and I was staring into the darkness out the window.

"Well, I'm heading to bed. Put the bottle back and lock up when you head out, will you?"

Without waiting for a response, I went to my bathroom. I washed the airplane smell off me and walked from my bathroom to the bedroom in just a towel. I pushed the suitcases onto the floor, dropped the towel and crawled into bed. The last thought I had was that I should have plugged my phone in.