All Comments on 'Dented Ch. 01'

Very well done! Looking forward to the next chapter.

Thanks for reading my latest story. It's one I've had in my mind for a long, long time but only now have gotten around to writing it. This time I wrote all three chapters before publishing the first one. I'm finishing up the edits on Chapter 2 and streamlining Chapter 3, so rest assured that this story does have a resolution and it will be published.

Thanks!!

I'm waiting for the whole story, even if I have to get it a piece at a time! Good story, and I'll be very interested to see how they interact with Margaret.

A great story, well written. There are a lot of chapters that could follow. I hope they do.

I like finding stories on here that are believable. This was one of them. Well written. Her having small breasts didn't hurt either! I love small breasts!

I can find so many things right with this stiry to write one of my own but I'll just say thank you gor writing and publishing this from the bottom of my heart! Hopefully the next two parts aren't too far away.

Well written and well developed. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Really well written and a very interesting story to boot.

What a fantastic story! I loved it. Can't wait to read chapter 2. (and 3, and 4 and...)

Please keep writing. I'm interested to see where the story goes.

Love the story Will there ever be a chapter 2. Did they ever her caught did they ever find out what was Margaret problem, please we need more

they could help this poor, broken girl. It just doesn't feel finished, the catharsis isn't quite there. Awesome story, mycuriousnature, really well done. Hot as hell, to boot! :-)

I really good &sweet story with also promising.

So keep posting & I will be reading

Holy wow - mycuriousnature - you have woven together an absolute masterpiece. This is the most emotionally involving story I have ever read on this site. Amazingly hot and erotic in all the right places - and the character development, the relationship development, the plot development - is absolutely fantastic.

The love between them is SO beautiful. And the ending to this chapter has tears pouring from my eyes with a big ol' smile planted on my face.

Really looking forward to the next chapters.

Keep it between them it's a great love story. Bravo

Absolutely loved it. I love how sweet jace is with her, never gets frustrated, has all the patience in the world when it comes to her. It’s very sweet and it was inevitable that two ppl that close like that wld fall in love. Perfect story.

Loved the story! I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who found herself crying! Wow, you have a way with words! I look forward to reading more from you!

Well worth reading. Love the story, the characters and setup.

You need to learn how to set "the tone" for your scenes, among other things.

Management.

… and I don't think it needs a second - much less a third - chapter. Will I read them? of course. That is what we do here and that is why you write. I just hope I am not disappointed, and that will be saying a lot if 2 and 3 are stories which each live up to this as it is.

What a cruel world, I don’t have the hots for mentally unstable people anymore since hellen keller but I loved the drawn out romance. although some may say it’s the downfall of some stories... when I have time I find that a longer story generally has a richer story. I really would have enjoyed this story in full but I was really busy this week so I just kept pausing throughout and whenever you pause a book it degrades.

bravo nonetheless for having the passion to finish this story.

Great story. Will always be one of my favorites. Please ignore any negative comments. Some people complain when their bath water is wet and their ice cream is cold. You done an excellent job.

Wonderfully written, great story, everything about it was amazing. Thank you for writing it. I hope that someday you will give us a story about mother and son!

Thanks for this romantic and sex filled story.

Exceptionally well written. This story could have easily devolved into smut however you were able to keep the eroticism level high while building the emotion. I felt this story was really deep (not to mention sizzling hot) without becoming cumbersome. Great job!

Great story and your new editor helped grammatically. Keep up the good work

I was worried when they were alone on the boat. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work.

Wonderful story

My second time reading this. Why? Why do I read stories instead of watching videos? Because I want to know a character's thoughts and feelings. All the elements of a good story are here for me. The emotional moments you create for me are what I crave. Thank you.

Wow, what a great story! Great character development. 5 🌟

My second reading of this wonderful beautiful story, I can't remember how far I through it I got last time but I shall carry on with it , it involves me that much.

Awesome! Great story line, character development, and writing. Perfect timing with the right amount of back story, suspense, and progression.

One of the best I've read. Well done.

From a taste perspective, it is a tad fast paced. I like the builduo drawn out a bit more.

From a structure perspective, incredibly well done. Good job providing a new and unique situation. 👌

Believeable and sexy. A few more physical descriptions would not hurt, although i suppose keeping it a bit vague allows us readers to project our own tastes on to the characters.

Five stars.

Excellent story. Thanks

Such a good story even the third time. We’ll done

Beautiful.

Very good story, very good analogy at the end, makes you think!!! Loved it!!!

Amazing, as much a love story as erotica. Can't wait to read the following parts. Thank you!

Excellent love story.

I'm from St. Joe Michigan and lived a few hundred yards from the lake most of my life

To read a bit about the St.Joe river and the lake instantly put a huge smile on my face. Thanks.. on to ch2

Great story! I’m looking forward to reading the next chapter!

Brilliant.

WOW! Just absolutely wow!!!!!!

This was really, really good. 👍 I really wish that I could give it a five, but some aspects of it were out of sync, and quite frankly a little bit over the top. 😕 For instance, this family has plenty of resources and owns a 55 foot yacht that is Marina kept, but their home doesn't have better security than what you described? Just a surveillance camera system? Seriously!

The story is great, but there are too many holes in the logic. I have to go with 4/5.

Great storytelling all the way around. 5/5*

Liked it

Purty damn good!

But I did want to point out one little thing...just because a dictionary lists a certain word as a legitimate adjective doesn't mean that it is necessarily the one to use. So for your sentence:

"Jess is slenderer than I am..."

I'm going to disagree with Grammarly and your editor. I think that you should have written "Jess is more slender than I am..." If you had paired it with a noun directly such as, "Jess is slenderer twin..." then that would have been acceptable as well.

I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter. 😊 4/5

Correcting my own mistakes. No one is perfect. I meant to type:

Jess is the slenderer twin."

I really enjoyed reading this story!

Your writing style is deep enough to allow the characters to fully come alive in my imagination.

Having it develop more as a love story with less focus on sex was a major high point for me, as far too many stories are wet enough to overflow a large sponge and lack a large enough hand to wring them out.

The sex you did include was very savory and well described.

Adding in the boating aspect was a very nice addition to an already solid plot, and it is completely believable that being sequestered alone with her brother on the water like that would've really calmed Jessica down.

And considering the boating options available to us here in the Pacific Northwest, I offer that comment in the warmest way possible. Our San Juan islands are the location of endless meaningful beauty and encompassing serenity for the forward thinking and adventurous boater.

However, as someone who owns a yacht, and has been involved with boats for decades, I'm curious to know how many marinas will willingly move a clients boat out of it's slip, fuel it and then provision it. (Especially, a 55 footer.)

Regardless, it's a nice plot concept that fits well.

And as a fellow boater, some additional details of their anchorage would've been nice, like if they were in some pretty, protected bay or cove. I can't picture an anchorage on an unprotected and open shore of a raging monster like Lake Michigan.

So.....a fond thank you to mycuriousnaure on a finely crafted composition such as this.

I'm very much looking forward to the next chapter, and am hoping that Jason and Jessica will be taking Obsidian back out, alone, and spending many more days wrapped up together in blankets sharing their love on the aft deck watching the sun go down.

Sincerely,

B4PW.

Excellent story. Very well written. Thank you.

Loved the matter-of-fact pace of the story - The ending kind of left me hanging though as it didn't really explain what Margaret's motive was, especially after so long a period of time . . . .

I really liked this story. I have a couple of stories on this site but after reading this one I feel like an amateur. The plot development is exquisite. I don't believe that they will be able to keep their love secret and I wonder what their parents' reaction will be when they are inevitably discovered.