Determination

Coincidentally, great grandmother's partner in crime had also been a David, but that was not the name I intended to use now.

"I'm ready, Daddy. How about you?"

I'd never done DD/lg role play, but if it had been good enough for great grandma... It did feel a little odd saying this to a cephalopod though.

David caught my train of thought. His familiar shape vibrated and surged and twisted, elongating, thinning and -- within a matter of seconds -- looked distinctly humanoid. His skin turned pale pink and became noticeably hairy in places. Some of the hair was tinged with gray. His transformation complete, a middle-aged man stood before me.

My ancestor had not been too specific about looks, so David had clearly gone for what he thought best. Tall, without being a giant, 6' maybe. Lean and in good shape for his age, without being muscle bound. A body with some mileage on the clock, but which had been taken care of. It was topped by a friendly, open, warm face, with large features, but arranged symmetrically enough to be pleasing. Even more pleasing was lower down. Here great grandma had been more precise. Over 20cm, thick and uncut. It really was a very appealing cock. There hadn't been an oral scene at this point in great grandma's story, but I couldn't help myself.

Kneeling in front of David, and aware that my mini-dress wasn't really up to this task, I grasped his cock in two hands and pulled down. His foreskin slipped and rolled stickily downwards, revealing a large pink head, glistening with pre-cum. I wanted to suck it so badly.

"It's, OK, Emily. I'd really like that too."

Unlike when he became me, David's new eyes were somehow still his normal, coleoid ones, though obviously now arranged in binocular fashion. I maintained contact with them as I opened, dipped, closed and began to suck. If I had a religion, this was it, cock worship. Though pussy worship was a very close second. I pulled at the base of his shaft and fondled his testicles. I slid my lips up and down him.

Another advantage of an octopus lover is he can cum in an instant, or keep fucking for hours. Now he knew what I wanted. David put both hands on my head and pushed me down further on him. As his cock reached the back of my mouth, I felt it quiver, twitch and finally pulse as he pumped -- for him -- a relatively modest amount of semen into me. I gulped and kept sucking, draining him. Appreciating every drop he gifted me. I kept sucking long after the fountain had abated. Eventually, I popped off of his still very erect cock with a cat that swallowed the cream grin.

"Oh Daddy, was that a bad thing for me to do? I'm sorry if I was a bad girl, Daddy."

I held my finger to my lips as I spoke. I'd seen great grandma do the same, along with a lot of other things.

"I'll have to punish you, young lady."

David had many strengths, but his acting was variable. He needed to embrace his role to a greater degree, at least according to this critic. However, his actions spoke louder than words. He grabbed me. Gently, but firmly and in a way, I couldn't have resisted, even if I had wanted to. Picking me up, he sat on the edge of my bunk and deposited me face down onto his lap. He carefully pulled the stretchy material of my dress until my ass-cheeks were covered. Then, with one hand in the small of my back, holding me down securely, he proceeded to apply his other hand forcibly to my butt.

The slap of his hand stung. He kept me guessing, not adopting any real rhythm. Pausing. Letting me think it was over. Then his hand landed on me more heavily than before. I gasped. I winced. I bit my lip. But I took my beating. I didn't cry.

"Right, stand up. Let's see if your punishment has been effective."

I stood and David pulled my dress up and off of my ass. He turned me and, looking over my shoulder, I could see my bright red butt gleaming in the mirror. A stark contrast to my pale skin. It hurt, it burnt, and I knew this was just the start.

David felt between my legs and held dripping fingers in front of my face.

"It seems you have been enjoying your punishment rather too much, young lady."

"I'm sorry, Daddy, I... Ow! Ow!"

He slapped each butt-cheek hard, so very hard.

David unzipped my dress and let it fall. I knew what to do. I stretched out my limbs and the cuffs closed round my wrists and ankles. The rope threaded itself through a ring, which I could swear had not been on the ceiling until recently, and attached itself to my wrist-cuffs. I spread my legs and the metal tube appeared between my ankles, clipping itself to the restraints. The rope shortened, pulling me off balance. Leaving me teetering on my high heels, arms pulled above me. I was ready for the next part of great grandma's story.

David picked up the chain. He held the clamps dangling in front of my face.

"These are only for very bad girls."

"You bastard!"

He smiled, detached one clamp, threaded the chain through the ring on my collar and reattached the clamp, leaving them swinging.

Walking behind me he reached round and pinched my nipples roughly. I screamed.

"We'll have to do something about the noise. We can't have you wake the rest of the crew."

"Fuck the rest of the crew. That really...Nngghh..."

The ball-gag had materialized in my mouth, it's strap encircled my head and pulled itself tight.

"Let's check if it works, shall we?"

He pinched me even harder. I squirmed in my restraints, but could do no more than accept the pain.

"Good. Now for the clamps."

My eyes widened and I pulled uselessly at my wrist ropes. David moved into my line of sight and in the most matter-of-fact way possible opened each clamp in turn and released them onto my soft nipple flesh. Now I cried. It burnt and, unlike his pinches, it kept burning. Tears ran down my face, but juice also dripped from my pussy. David glanced down slightly and the butt-plug began to throb urgently in my ass. Could I take this? I thought so. I focused on my clit, I wanted to rub it so much; whether for comfort or to cum hard was unclear, probably both.

Picking up the paddle, David disappeared from view again and then I felt the leather on my face as he gently caressed each cheek. I tingled as he ran it down my spine and stroked between my wide-spread legs. But the teasing didn't last long.

"Twelve, little girl, just twelve and then you can cum."

He tapped me gently twice and then blinding pain erupted, accompanied by throbbing aching between my legs. Maybe this had been a bad idea... oh fuck! He'd hit me again. I closed my tear-filled eyes, bit on my ball-gag and clung on as the blows got harder and more frequent. How had great grandma taken this? Maybe her David had gone easy on her, not mine. Mine knew exactly how much pain I could take and calibrated accordingly. Feeling I was getting lost in my world of burning flesh, I held on to one somewhat comforting thought. He knows what I can take. He knows what I can take.

And then it was over. But before I could catch my breath, he was in me. The release of penetration was mind-blowing. I wanted to be fucked so hard. Then, after a few deep strokes, he withdrew. Somewhere in my pain-fogged and over-stimulated brain I registered something. He's sticking to the script. He's going to unclamp and re-clamp me before using the chain as a rein to ride me. I can't, I really can't. I don't care what great grandma did, this Emily just can't.

With telepathy, there was no need for a safe word or action. I just reached out with my feelings. I sighed in relief as he got the message and instead picked up the pace with which he fucked me. I felt so full with the big plug in my rectum and his large cock pounding my pussy. My ass ached, my nipples were on fire and I just submitted. Submitted to the pain. Submitted to the pleasure. Submitted to the massive tsunami that smashed through my tiny body, leaving me trembling.

Great grandma had moved on to anal, but I was still too tender from earlier. Again I told him wordlessly and he understood. I let myself go limp as he started to fuck me harder and deeper. I didn't think it possible, but, as I felt his thrusts become more rhythmical, approaching a final crescendo, my own feelings came crashing back. He reached the point of ecstasy and l was right there with him. Not a tsunami this time, a rolling wave of pleasure that washed away the pain and soothed my aching and battered body. A wave that was accompanied by a flood. A flood of his cum. Filling my vagina. Making me warm. Acting as balm. Telling me that I was cherished. Telling me that it was all OK.

I felt the various BDSM accoutrements dissolve and him catch my body as I slumped towards the floor. Still in human form, David picked me up, held me to his chest and tenderly laid me down in my bunk. He pulled the covers over me. My ass-cheeks, asshole and nipples were still throbbing. I needed to sleep, I really needed to sleep.

"Alexa! Dim the lights. Thank you, David. Let's do another story tomorrow, OK?"

I slipped into unconsciousness. Feeling used and abused. But feeling very, very satisfied.

We re-enacted lots of other stories over the next two weeks. It was fun. I began to identify more and more with my ancestor and her appetites. But, as for other stuff, that was more mixed. David tried to engage me about our future several times, but I shied away from the topic. I claimed that I still needed to think. I went so far as to say we were fine as we were; clearly, we weren't. I told myself that the 1% chance of becoming molecular goo was the issue. But I knew it wasn't really. The issue was me and what I wanted. And I had no clue about the answer to that question. I felt pressured to decide and I really didn't want to even think about it.

I found myself increasingly distant from David. We fucked and I loved the physical side as always. But the emotional side was atrophying. I knew this. I just didn't know if I wanted to resuscitate it, or let it die. I found myself wearing my shower cap more and more. I asked him to telepathy-proof my room as he had suggested. He made the sub-atomic adjustments to the walls. But it didn't take a telepath to sense his sadness as he did so. We had a problem and it seemed like I didn't want to acknowledge it, let alone do something about it.

And then today. Today he really fucked up. Or perhaps, in retrospect, I just unloaded all my crap on him. Maybe both. He'd said he had a surprise for me. Asked me to close my eyes, he really went to town. When I opened them, he proudly showed me what looked like a matt gray metallic cuboid, about as long as my forearm and half of that in the other two dimensions.

"Is it a Symbian of some sort? I always wanted to try a Symbian. Do things stick out of it when you turn it on?"

The patterns on his skin conveyed confusion and consternation to me.

"No, Emily. It's the machine I told you about. The machine for making you like me. I know you are unsure, but I thought maybe if it was a concrete option, rather than just an idea, it might help you to think about it. Or maybe, just help the two of us to talk about it. It's not been easy to talk to y..."

He trailed off. It can't have been hard for him to read the thunderous thoughts building in my mind. I was so angry. So, so angry. And then I wasn't. Then I was totally relaxed. Not a care in the Galaxy.

"I'm sorry, Emily. I didn't mean to do that to you. I thought you were going to punch me and you know what happens when I feel threatened. I can't help it, it's automatic. I didn't mean to mess with your brain."

My shower cap was in my back pocket. Despite the calming waves David's defense system was bathing me in, I remained just pissed enough to pull it out and put it on. Then everything went red.

I don't really recall exactly what I said or did. I know I slapped him at least once. I know I called him a lot of bad things. I know he was apologetic, didn't try to either gainsay me or stop the blows of my palm. It was blows, it's coming back to me now. Multiple blows. I have a foul temper, but this was bad even for me.

I can, however, remember the last thing I said.

"Get the fuck out of my head and out of my life, you abusive, manipulative motherfucker. We're done. Screw girlfriend and boyfriend. I don't want you within twenty meters of me. I hate you so much. I'm going to my room and don't even think of trying to talk to me, let alone anything else. Are you clear about that?"

David sadly confirmed that he was clear, with a final apology.

I walked purposefully and rapidly to my room and shut the door.

"Alexa! Lock my door. Security protocol A-31. Officer ID 4898/B."

I knew that a simple human lock, even a high security one, would be no obstacle to David. But I hoped he could take a hint.

"Fuck you, David."

I threw myself on my bed and let go of the tears that had been welling in my eyes for some time now. I didn't stop crying for a long while. Then curled up and went miserably to sleep.

—

I woke up depressed and angry. I felt betrayed. I felt manipulated. I felt violated. I felt David had been pushing me into doing something I was far from sure about. And a big, important thing at that. One that could even be the end of me. It felt like a philosophy exam question. Is the chance to become immortal worth a one in a hundred chance of death -- and does it make a difference if you are on a trolley? I didn't even know if I wanted to be immortal. What I did know, with every fiber of my being, was that I hated being pushed into anything. If some fucker tried to push me into eating chocolate, I'd given them hell. Then eat the chocolate of course.

My thoughts were racing. Why had I got myself into this position? Why was I having an incorporeal alien pressurizing me to become like him? Because I was lonely. Because I wanted to connect with another living thing. Because I was tired of vibrators and fucking machines, no matter how efficient, and craved the organic. Because, to be fair, I also kinda liked him. At least before he...

So, if all that was the case, why didn't I just try my own species? It seemed obvious. There were eleven other crew members. I ruled out Chief Officer Alvarez, she'd not buy my conversion from bisexual to lesbian for a second. But there were ten chances that I could find what I was looking for. Ten chances to be more of a normal person.

I went back and forth in my head for a couple of hours, before making a decision. I was going to wake one of the crew up. And I knew which one I was going to try my luck with first. Space Rating Park Na-ri. She ticked lots of my boxes. She was smart. She didn't suffer fools gladly. The two of us had been kinda friendly before we got to the cryogenic stage of our voyage. She made me laugh. And she was cute. Very, very cute. Crucially, she had also said a couple of things that made me think she might not be wholly against the idea of being with another girl. Just hints, nothing more, but something. Anyway, who could resist a given name meaning lily? Na-ri it was. But first I knew I had to do something else. I had to tell David.

It went as badly as might be expected. He didn't yell, he didn't try to argue with me. I suppose he could tell (even with me wearing my shower cap, which I now seldom took off outside my room) that there was no point. But he was sad. He was crushingly, achingly sad. No matter how hard he tried to suppress his skin coloration, I knew.

It's better this way. We could never work. I don't want to be a disembodied consciousness, I want to be me. Better for both of us to make a clean break. Sure he was hurting now, but I'd only hurt him more if I kept on pretending. Still, a heart-broken octopus is a terrible thing to behold.

"Is it OK to hug you David? We can still be friends. If... if you would like that."

His skin quivered and blue and deep purple blotches moved slowly over it.

"Not now, Emily. Maybe in time. But not now. I don't think I could bare touching."

I felt awful, but remained resolute. I was doing the right thing after all.

"OK. Whatever you need. But we have to also be practical. I'm not asking you to disappear. I'm still here for you. But maybe it makes sense not to be an octopus right now. How about one of the other crew members? Jefferson might be good. Or Patterson?"

"You dreamt of fucking Jefferson, so I'll probably go with Patterson. If that's OK with you."

"That's OK with me, David."

And so it was decided. I had already worked out what to tell Na-ri. Though I was going to need David's help with that too. I explained my idea and reluctantly he agreed to it.

I stood over Na-ri's cryo-chamber, checking the readout. Everything seemed OK. It was probably going to be another 15 minutes. I'd initiated the sequence the previous day. Unfreezing a human was not something to be done in a rush, unless you were fine with possibly terminal tissue necrosis. The cryogenic process was not without risk, but catastrophes were not common. Lost fingers and toes a bit less rare. But all was going well.

Thinking of risky processes was probably a bad thing for me right now. It didn't improve my mood. David had been super helpful with my plan and had also kept out of my way, as I had requested. But I was still livid with him. Right, I had better things to be thinking about. I caught a distorted, ghostly reflection of myself in the translucent carapace of Na-ri's chamber and suddenly felt the need of a mirror. There was one near the door, I guess so newly woken crew could see just how ghastly they looked.

I'd braided my hair on either side of my head. I thought it was cute and the style made my face look slightly less round. It also accentuated my neck, which I thought one of my better features. I'd even gone as far as applying some cosmetics, which was close to unheard of out here. Nothing crazy, some mascara, blusher and a touch of lip gloss. Even with that little help, I looked more glamorous than I had in years. I'd left the zipper on my work suit open to my navel as well. I was wearing my customary T-shirt underneath, but it was a nod towards informality at the very least. In the mirror, I could just about make out the tips of my nipples pushing against the material; good.

I was acutely aware that the girl I was in the process of waking up didn't need any makeup to be beautiful. She just was. I wandered back to the chamber and peered through the carapace. Jet black hair, but with a touch of chestnut. Delicate features. Pale and close to flawless skin. Lips that, even when unenhanced, were a deeper red than mine were with the benefit of gloss. She was a pretty girl for sure.

I went through my plan in my head for the twentieth time. What I was going to say, how I was going to say it. Ten more minutes.

I heard a slight cough behind me and turned to see David float in. His skin flickered with apprehensive colors. This was so difficult. I was still fond of David, even if I felt like killing him right now. But something more pressing was on my mind.

"Hey! This is an octopus-free zone. We agreed."

I hissed in a stage whisper, though the idea that Na-ri could hear or see us at present was fanciful.

"Sorry, Emily."

He sounded so doleful. His deep and normally musical voice now dirge-like. Rapidly he became Second Mate Patterson, known to his friends as Ben. But there was a problem.

"Don't you think that clothes might be a good idea?"

The facsimile of a late twenties gym bunny looked down and suddenly realized his error.

"I could make some..."