Determination

"It looks like we have similar tastes in clothes, Em. I wonder what other tastes we might share."

She giggled, her hand to her mouth. What had happened to the somewhat reserved girl I knew? Maybe she always got like this when she cracked a problem. I walked in and the door closed behind me. She offered me a tall glass with something bubbly in it. I'd not really drunk before recent events. It seemed desperately sad to do so by yourself. And I'd only tried the ship's cocktails so far, never its approximation to wine. Na-ri raised her glass and made a toast.

"To me finally breaking the back of the computer problem. And to taking chances."

We clinked glasses.

"To taking chances... oh and well done on the computer stuff."

I drained my glass in one. Refinement had never been my thing. Na-ri grinned and copied me.

"Another, Em?"

"Sure, why not?"

She took my glass and placed it and hers on the tray where drinks were dispensed.

"Alexa! Two more glasses of champagne."

There was a slight whirr as the computer processed her request.

"While we are waiting, Em, let's maybe take a chance."

She put a hand on my cheek and ran her fingers down, brushing my neck, making my head dip towards her touch.

"Is this OK, Em?"

"It's OK. It's more than OK."

I stepped out of my shoes and put my hands around her waist, pulling her to me as she cupped my face. Our eyes met and an understanding was exchanged. We tilted our heads sideways in a complementary manner and I stood on tiptoe to reach her lips. Her gloss smelt and tasted of cherries. I like cherries.

"I've never kissed a girl before, Em. Have you?"

"I have, it's OK. I'll look after you."

I kissed her again. Then, dropping back onto my heels, brushed my lips against her neck and collar bone. She seemed to like that and I buried my face in the crook of her neck kissing her skin firmly.

"I'm going to take your dress off, Na-ri. Stop me if it doesn't feel right. You are in control."

She nodded and bit her bottom lip. I could feel that her breath was coming quicker. Mine was too. I kissed her again and slipped a hand behind her back.

The similarity of dresses was helpful, I located the top clips and undid them. The zipper was next and I drew it down, her dress opening and slipping on to the floor. I stepped back and she stepped out of it, now just wearing a black thong. She seemed suddenly shy and folded her arms over her breasts.

"It's OK, Na-ri. It's all OK."

I reached behind and performed the same procedure with my dress. I'd not bothered with any panties and so stood nude before her.

"Just kiss me again, Na-ri, it will start to feel OK. I promise."

She took my advice and, as our lips engaged, I pulled her to me. One hand cupping her fulsome butt, the other in the small of her back. Our breasts brushed, mine under hers. I pulled back and locked eyes.

"Trust me, beautiful. I'll look after you."

"I trust you, Emily."

It was nice to hear my full name. I took her hands and placed them on my naked ass. I put my hands on either side of her face and parted her lips with my tongue. She sighed as I entered her mouth. Still squeezing one butt-cheek, I moved my other hand between her legs and lightly caressed the material clinging to her. I felt her tense and then relax as I stroked her gently.

Breaking lip contact and moving my hand from her butt, I cupped one of her breasts and bent to nuzzle it. I kissed her soft and pliant flesh, spiraling in towards her areola. When I reached my goal, I rang my tongue around it, her nipple tightening as the side of my tongue brushed it. I pushed harder between her legs, certain I had located her clit, based on the moans my fingers elicited. I took her erect nipple in my mouth and sucked, not too gently, I wanted her to feel it. Still rubbing through her panties, I went directly for her other nipple and was rewarded by it hardening in my mouth. I began to feel some moisture on my hand and decided it was time to change my focus.

Kneeling, my face was level with Na-ri's belly. I leant forward and kissed her there. I ran my tongue around her navel and then dipped my tongue into it. It tickled her, but she didn't pull away, instead placing her hands on my head and stroking my hair. I hooked my fingers under the sides of her thong and eased it down over her hips and thighs and down to the ground.

Her pubic hair was entirely black, I assumed the chestnut highlights came from a bottle. She was not trimmed, but naturally wispy and quite localized. The contrast with her pale white skin was gorgeous to me. Looking up, I saw hesitation in her eyes.

"It's OK, Na-ri. We can stop any time. Just tell me if you like this."

I put my palm between her legs, positioning it so that just the tip of my middle finger rested against her labia. I pushed ever so slightly, not so much penetrating as putting light pressure on her opening. I put my other hand pointing downwards amongst her pubic hair and pulled her flesh upwards. Her clit appeared. It was pink and a little more protuberant than some. Perfect for what I had in mind.

Reestablishing eye contact, I stuck my tongue out and touched her clitoris once and briefly. I felt her shivering against my hands.

"Is that OK, angel? Shall I do it again?"

Again the lip biting and a silent nod. I touched her with my tongue a second time and for slightly longer. Then again. Her eyes closed and she began to murmur softly. I had almost expected the canonical Asian female yelp, clearly, I watched too much porn. Her murmurs were much more sensuous. Encouraged, I started to lap at her. A mother cat cleaning her kitten. I increased the pressure on my finger and the tip slipped easily into her vagina. I kept it just first joint deep and increased the speed of my licking.

"Emily, can you stop please."

A little crestfallen I complied. Noticing my expression, she smiled.

"No. Not like that. I just want to do the same to you, can we lie down?"

I stood and kissed her again.

"Of course, honey. I'd like that."

Holding hands, almost shyly we walked to her bed, she lay on her side her top knee raised, her bottom knee also bent and pointing forwards. Opening, making space for me, inviting me in. I lay my head on her thigh and wriggled my lower body until she could mirror my position.

"Why don't you start, Na-ri? You set the pace and anyway, I'd like to look for a little while."

Na-ri didn't need a second invitation and kissed my hairless mons veneris and then ran her tongue between my closed labia, before parting me with her fingers and beginning to lick my opening, running her tongue over my pink, crinkly interior, beginning to probe inside. For a beginner, she showed promise. This was my cue to also bury my head between her legs. I uncloaked her lickable clit and continued where I had left off. But I had seen the moisture beginning to seep from her and knew a finger could slip in with little resistance. She accepted my first digit so easily, pushing her tongue into my pussy as I entered her, that I added a second. I licked and sucked on her clit as I began to finger her. She shifted position and started to focus on my clit as well. Making her tongue rigid and flicking it across me with sideways movements of her head.

"Finger me, Na-ri. I want you to finger-fuck me."

Making an accurate assumption, she pushed two fingers into me and I yielded easily and smoothly to them. Returning to her needs, I set up a pace licking and finger-fucking, which I hoped she would mimic. Na-ri took the hint and we both squirmed as we stimulated each other. Maybe experience told as her body began to buck and twitch after not much time had passed.

"It's OK, angel. Forget about me for a few minutes. I want you to just enjoy this."

Na-ri was happy to follow my lead, but -- rather sweetly I thought -- lapped gently at my opening as I increased my urgency. I knew only too well how intoxicating the taste and smell of a woman's body could be. She continued to savor me as I brought her closer and closer. Eventually she screwed up her face, squeezed her hands into fists and screamed in a way I would never have predicted as my fingers and tongue pushed her over the edge of ecstasy and into oblivion.

I stroked her thigh and lapped more gently at her clit as she calmed down, my fingers motionless inside her. Before she had quite recovered, I pushed her top leg, rolling her onto her back. Turning, I crawled over her and knelt across her face. My fingers were dripping with her juices and I offered them to her mouth. She licked and sucked greedily, tasting herself. I shuffled forward and placed my pussy lips over her mouth, kissing her with my labia. She extended her tongue into me and I began to rub my clit, pausing only to lick my fingers as lubricant.

"Your tongue feels so good in my pussy, Na-ri. You came so beautifully for me, I'm going to cum for you, angel."

She flicked her tongue in and out of me as I increased the speed of my clitoral stimulation. I grasped one of my own breasts and squeezed, it was oddly painful, but I needed it. I pinched my nipple and rubbed my clit furiously as Na-ri continued to tongue me. I felt my chest heaving, heat spreading, muscles twitching, throbbing overwhelming me. Na-ri rammed her tongue deep into me as I moaned and spasmed and gave in to the rising tide of pleasure that drowned me.

As my feelings peaked and began to decline, I moved back and lowered my face to hers. Her mouth was wet with my juices and I kissed her deeply, one hand between my legs still stroking myself gently. Then I rolled her onto her side and held her close as we both relished the post orgasm afterglow. Both luxuriating in the warmth and closeness of the other's body.

Na-ri kissed me. A friendly peck rather than our previous passion.

"Emily, that was wonderful. Thank you for making my first time so special. I wanted it to be with you. Is that bad of me?"

"Of course not. So you liked me before?"

My voice was a little incredulous.

"Well I've wondered about other girls for a long time, going back to college. I've fantasized. But I never was brave enough to act on it. When we first met, I was attracted to you. I thought you were cute. I thought you were sexy. I'll admit I've used my Stimulator thinking of you. But I couldn't even think of broaching the subject. I'm shy with guys, doubly so with girls. And I didn't know if you were interested."

"Oh, I was always interested. I guess I'm really bad at sending signals. So what made you... why was today different?"

"I really don't know, Em. I can't tell you. It was like all my inhibitions and lack of confidence suddenly evaporated and I could just do what I wanted to do all along."

"Evaporated?"

"Yeah, that's what it felt like. It was actually really freeing. Like I could just be me for a change and not worry about other people."

Evaporated. Like for instance my hangover this morning. Fuck you, David. What on Earth are you playing at?

"Na-ri, I'm really sorry. I've just remembered something I needed to tell Patterson about. Please start that other champagne and I'll be back as soon as I can. Is that OK?"

"Sure, Em. I was thinking a perfect night before I go back to sleep. That's what you wanted too, right?"

To be honest the longevity and meaning of our relationship was far from the front of my mind right now.

"Of course, Na-ri. Colleagues with benefits. But I have to go. I'll come back."

"If you like, Em. But I'm good. Thanks for inducting me into the bisexual club, it was fun."

Na-ri seemed perfectly content with life. I put my dress and shoes back on, aware that this was less than perfect attire for the conversation I had in mind. As I left, I glanced back at Na-ri. She seemed happy enough sipping her drink in bed. As I walked, I told myself to be calm and rational. I wasn't going to be hitting anyone, no matter how much I felt like it. You're better than this, Emily. Be a fucking grown-up.

David was on the bridge, it was the first place I checked. He was still in Ben's form. Na-ri was occupied and I wanted to talk to the real David. Or the closest available approximation to that. I steadied myself and spoke in a restrained voice.

"Hi, David. Na-ri is in her room. Can you be you for a few minutes? We need to talk."

A little hesitatingly, David transformed and I was back in the familiar territory of addressing a floating octopus.

"So, basically, what the fuck did you do to Na-ri? And why the fuck did you do it?"

I paused, choosing my words with care.

"I feel like I just raped her, with you cheering me on. Please give me one reason why I should ever speak to you again."

To his credit (though the amount was small compared to the debits) he didn't dissemble.

"I lowered her inhibitions, Emily. Not eliminated, just lowered. I let her do something she has wanted to do for some time. Long before you woke her."

"But you can't do that to someone! You can't control them. Not even if it's to do something they wanted to do. Can you not understand that?"

"Not really, Emily. Have you never bought someone you liked a drink? It's the same. In fact, what I did to her was the equivalent of two of the glasses of champagne you were drinking. All I did was accelerate things. She might well have acted as she did anyway. I just wanted to be sure."

This was not how I had expected the conversation to go. I was still very angry, but my levels of self-righteousness were rapidly diminishing. He was wrong, very wrong. But I sort of got what he meant.

"To be sure of what, David?"

He paused now, his colorations showed uncertainty. Then he seemed to reach a decision.

"To be sure you had a partner, one who could take care of you. You made it pretty clear that I wasn't going to be that person. You need somebody."

The self-righteousness surged again.

"I don't need anybody. How patronizing and paternalistic could you possibly be? If you are trying to be an asshole, you succeeded. Anyway, why do you care?"

I could see the hurt my words caused played out in patterns dashing across his skin.

"I'll answer your last question first."

Octopuses don't really take deep breaths, but this one appeared to do so.

"I care because I love you. I love you so much Emily Wilson. I want you to be happy. I want you to have someone, even if it's not me. Even if you don't want me, or... if I'm not... not around."

He seemed to be waiting for some word or signal from me. None was forthcoming. His telepathy was useless as my mind had gone blank. A void with the words "I love you" echoing round it. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

Looking apprehensive, David plowed on.

"I know you don't normally need anyone. You are independent and resourceful and your own person. But..."

Colors of indecision flowed over his body.

"You might need someone now, or soon at least."

A long pause.

"Emily... You're pregnant."

"Emily... I am its Father."

I must have fainted as next thing I knew, he was cradling me, fanning my face with a splayed out tentacle.

Pregnant?

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"

I spoke more with sadness and incomprehension than anger. The anger had gone. He'd behaved like a dumb fuck, then he was a guy after all.

"Is it OK to reply to your thoughts?"

I nodded.

"Listen. I've screwed up so many times. My people may have unlocked the secrets of the Universe, but -- just like your people -- not everyone is a great thinker. I can be pretty stupid. In my defense, the millennia I spent floating in space by myself didn't exactly hone my intellect. I've only begun to feel a bit more like myself since I met you."

I realized he was crying. Tears rolled down each side of his large head.

"I didn't tell you as I didn't know what to do. At first, I didn't want to pressure you. Then I screwed up with the machine. You didn't seem to want to be with me after that. Then I thought you might think I was trying to manipulate you. I thought maybe you would think I got you pregnant intentionally, or to hold on to you. None of that is true, but I worried what you might think. We are both worriers, Emily."

I was confused. It was so much to take on board. I wanted to think.

"David. I'm as lost as you are about this. Can I have some time and then talk on the morning?"

"Of course, Emily."

"But just one thing? How did this happen?"

"Because I'm stupid, Emily. Just like I said before. I even gave you this whole speech about being a real octopus, or a real version of you, down to the molecular level. It didn't occur to me that..."

"That you'd create real sperm when in human form?"

"Yes, Emily. Exactly that."

"So, I'm guessing one of our re-enactment sessions."

"The first I think."

"So I conceived while tied up, being paddled and having my nipples clamped? OK, I guess that's not quite what I had in mind, but I suppose it's at least memorable."

"Yes, Emily."

Another thought suddenly hit me.

"The rum and the champagne. Shit, what have I done?"

"It's OK Emily, I prevented the alcohol from being absorbed by the embryo. I didn't lie. I proofed your room against telepathy, not telekinesis. It's OK. No damage done."

It was far from OK that he had done that, but, I suppose, also a relief. What did that feeling mean? Did I want the child? This is too much to process.

"Thank you, I guess. But we have this saying about the end not justifying the means."

David conveyed octopus confusion.

"You did a good thing, in a bad way. I could say the same with Na-ri. You can't do that, you can't rob people of agency. Even if you feel it's for their own good. Please, please promise me never again. If there is something I need protecting from, or something I want. Don't leap into using magic to sort it out."

He winced -- or his colors did.

"For fuck's sake this is not a time to worry about terminology. It's simple. Just talk to me. Are we clear?"

"And that's just me. You never try to help someone else get what they want. You don't get to decide what's good for someone else. Got it?"

He seemed to have got it. He'd taken some truly crap decisions and that needed to stop, hopefully it would. But I also understood that reading minds was as much a curse as a blessing. What to do if you see someone in need? Talk to them, of course, but maybe that wasn't always possible or simple. Do nothing? That didn't seem like a great option. Or intervene, perhaps as clumsily and invasively, as he had.

I reflected that perhaps it wasn't that easy being a space octopus. Maybe I could help him with that. He'd done things he had no right to do, but at least no one had been hurt, the opposite if anything. It was hard to argue that his three hearts hadn't been in the right place. Even if his brain had clearly taken a vacation.

I kissed David on the head, whether for his comfort or mine, I didn't know.

"Tomorrow. We'll talk more tomorrow."

"And no more manipulation, for any reason at all, not even a good one! You don't get to do that."

Was it me, or did he seem to hesitate? It felt like he was going to say something else and then stopped. I was too tired to follow up on it. Tomorrow, I thought. It can wait until tomorrow.

I explained to Na-ri that the champagne had gone to my head and that I needed an early night. She seemed to take that at face value and I kissed her goodnight chastely on the cheek.

Back in my bed, I curled up. I placed my hands on my stomach and did something strange. I smiled. This was not a feeling I had anticipated. Did I feel good about this? Maybe I did. Then I smiled about something else unexpected. He loved me. I was still sorting things out in my muddled brain, but he loved me. I think I liked that too.