Devotia Ch. 13: Justification

Justification

Callie takes a long breath to steady herself in the cool morning, sucking in the chilled and slowly warming air between her teeth and blowing it out. She feels her heart fret anxiously, but does her best to stifle it as much as possible. Beside her, Gloriana seems to do the same, shifting cautiously from one foot to the other and never quite standing at ease.

"I... well.... Thank you for accompanying me, Gloriana," Callie says at last. She shakes her head slowly, trying to push away the small pit in her stomach.

"Of course, hal Devotia," the paladin croaks. Her pleasant tone doesn't creep up to her eyes, which remain hooded and suspicious, constantly scanning the crowds walking by. If anyone notices the sight of a Devotia disguised as a priestess and a paladin disguised as... well, not a paladin, they keep it to themselves.

"I know you think this is a mistake-,"

"It is," Gloriana huffs.

"-but I'm grateful to not be here alone."

The paladin's face softens slightly and she places a timid, gloved hand on Callie's shoulder to squeeze it reassuringly. After a moment, she even smiles and says, "It was good of you to bring me along."

Callie nods, gazing at the floor for a quick second before finally turning back to face the open gates of the Mage's college before them. She sighs, taking Gloriana's elbow and forcing herself to make the first few steps.

"Once again," Callie whispers, "please don't inform Magister Velena abou-,"

"My loyalty's to you, hal Devotia," Gloriana confirms. A second later, she even smirks and adds, "Not that you make that choice easy."

"Oh, come now," Callie ventures a quiet grin, "I can't be the only Devotia who's ever bent the rules."

"You're just the most smug about it," Gloriana sighs.

The Mage's college is hardly what Callie expects. She'd come by it a few times in her tenure so far, but never entered it. The wide gates open into a cramp walkway with tall, stone buildings on each side of the path. The dense stone gave the immediate impression of how heavy they must've been, looming three or four stories above pedestrians below. High, pointed rooftops decorate each long workhouse, with a variety of windows and towers jutting out from the sides and hanging over the street.

The scale of the college is difficult to measure. A variety of trees dot the pathway, obscuring the ability to look too far down in any direction as roads branched off under solid archways. Ivy climbs most of the buildings, working its way up through any crack or foothold it could manage. Callie had heard that nearly two thousand professional or apprentice mages lived here, many of whom traveled from across the country to train in the prestigious institution. There were other schools of magic elsewhere, but Solva's college was well regarded as the best.

Callie and Gloriana duck past a small group of students, all adorned in the traditional dull burnt amber robes that formed the college's unofficial wardrobe. The mages were an unusual bunch, easy to pick out from other crowds; Callie spots significantly more piercings and tattoos than in the rest of the general population, and she wonders what their significance must be. Gazing into a few windows as they weave through the thickly crowded streets, she sees a wide variety of magical displays, ranging from the beautiful and artistic to the crude and functional.

"Do you know where Xelemen Hall would be?" Callie asks Gloriana, a bit overwhelmed by the excitement of it all.

Gloriana grunts and nods, pointing the opposite direction Callie was leading them. They weave back through the streets, finding themselves in a long and low archway that opens to a small courtyard with a tall oak tree. It's quieter in the alleyway, shielded from the bustle of foot traffic, though Callie feels rather unsettled by it. Once again, she's grateful to have brought Gloriana along; both for her meager experience at the college before she left to be a paladin instead, as well as the comfort of knowing her hand was on the pommel of a sword the whole time.

Xelemen Hall sits on the edge of the college. It's a square building with a courtyard in the center, opening up to a doorway on each side. If you were to replace the small gate that leads to the street with a door that matched the rest of them, it'd be easy to completely lose your sense of direction, each side looks exactly the same.

"She said she'd be in the East wing," Callie directs, hoping Gloriana would lead her once more. It takes a moment for the paladin to get her bearings but she nods and strolls towards the door to their left.

Inside, the hall is dark and sleepy, as though the morning has yet to arrive within its walls. Long hallways jut off to either side of them and Callie follows the one that leads towards a stairwell, making her way up to the third and final floor. Rather than the cramped attic Callie expects, the top floor is the most open of the three, slightly wider and lighter, with the additional height of the roof high above them. She takes a breath, shoring up her confidence, and walks the remainder of the way down the hall towards the small door at its end.

She stops at it, turning to Gloriana and taking a long, steadying breath. It's no small risk to be here, she thinks often. If she was wrong about Dynasa, if she misjudged her intentions, Gloriana would be her only help. And if something happens to her as well...

Callie shudders. Junivere would be off at the sunrise gala in the Hill District, schmoozing with the nobles and trying to fake her way through the small talk she seems effortless in. Callie had taken the day off from her duties, claiming to be feeling ill, and was careful to ensure that no one other than Junivere and Gloriana knew where she was going.

"I don't suppose this meeting is one of the ones where you can bring your muscle in with you?" Gloriana huffs, voice nervous and small.

"Probably not," Callie concedes. "I don't know how long it's going to take."

"I can wait. Waiting is fine," she squares her shoulders. "I'm worried about knowing when I've waited too long for you and you need me to bust in."

"It'd probably be too much to hope that she wouldn't use a noise ward," Callie pushes away the grim feeling inside of her. "I'll make the terms of our meeting to include a check-in from you every twenty minutes. Sound good?"

Gloriana looks like she wants to reject it, but nods. "As you say, hal Devotia."

Callie takes three long, full breaths as she stands in front of the door. It was entirely possible this decision was going to backfire horribly in her face, making matters far worse than they had before. But, as even Junivere was loath to admit, if it was possible Dynasa could be an ally, if she could help Callie unveil who might be moving against her... the risk was worth it. Better to lose by playing the game poorly than by refusing to take your turn at all.

She raps her knuckles on the hardwood, then grips the handle and swings it open. Junivere had coached her to take command of the situation as quickly as possible, and Callie forces a proud confidence onto her movements. She lets the door slam behind her, striding into the room and taking in the scene.

It's not a massive room, perhaps twenty feet wide and twenty feet long. The walls are the same heavy cobblestone as the exterior, though here they are decorated with a variety of arcane instruments that Callie hardly recognizes. A few large work tables border the walls, covered with open spellbooks and schematics and astrological charts and multiple strange contraptions. It was clearly the workshop of a highly brilliant, rather disorganized, and inspired mage.

"Hal Devotia," Dynasa greets her, standing up from her seat at a worktable and stepping to face her. Her sharp features remind Callie of the tools around them, both seeming fit for uncovering mysteries. Her short, slowly silvering hair falls to her neck, tucked behind her ears as she works, and her robes are covered in smudges of ink and dust.

"Before we speak," Callie announces as directly and confidently as she can, "I have terms. My paladin is waiting outside, you will allow her to verbally check in with me every quarter hour."

"Agreed," Dynasa inclines her head. Her low voice rumbles softly. "Do you have more terms?"

"No one hears of this meeting. If word leaves this room that we have spoken, I will assume you are responsible and turn the force of the Devotias against you."

"I have taken great lengths to ensure your privacy and safety, hal Devotia," Dynasa smiles politely.

"Finally," Callie takes a sharp inhale, letting it out slowly, "You will answer the questions I ask of you directly. If I feel you aren't giving me the full truth, I will leave and you'll never be Magewitch."

"I suppose you'll soon discover that truth is more relative than you think," she says cooly, though her eyes sparkle with honesty. "There are many ways to deceive that don't involve lies."

"Is this acceptable?" Callie asks, trying to communicate finality.

"I accept, hal Devotia," Dynasa's face softens, though behind her gaze Callie can still read a skeptical and inquisitive mind, carefully guarding and interpreting information.

Callie nods, taking a seat across from Dynasa and crossing her legs. She's briefly jealous of how comfortable and practical wearing the priestess' clothes are; in her Devotia attire it's far easier to accidentally be too revealing, though she supposes that's by design. Dynasa sits as well, hands folded neatly in her lap.

"How did you learn about Calvin's brother reaching out to him?"

"So I was correct, then?" Dynasa's eyebrow raises as Callie frowns slightly. "I have connections outside of Solva," the mage answers after a breath. "When Ellava was pushed out, and Gellan fled with her, I had a number of associates keep watch over them."

"Why?"

"Excellent question, hal Devotia," the mage grins. She seems to enjoy when Callie is focused and inquisitive, eager to see the Devotia become adept at the game. "There are precious few Devotia; active or inactive. The removal of Ellava was something I found concerning, and I wanted to know where she might go next."

"Why is it concerning to you?"

"Is it not to you as well?" Her brow furrows. She waves a hand and explains, "If Suul's power flows through Devotia and primarily through Devotia, we should seek to protect them, yes? I find it alarming when nefarious agents attempt to undermine Suul's anointed. This is one reason I wish to aid you, hal Devotia."

Callie begins to speak, but Dynasa raises a pointed finger and says, "I believe it is my turn to ask a question of you."

"Very well," Callie sighs, sitting back into her chair.

"Tell me more about Suul's possession of you at the Feast of St. Valvedor."

"That isn't a question."

"Answer it anyway," Dyasa replies happily. "What did it feel like? How much control did you have? What did She tell you?"

"It felt like..." Callie scratches her head, trying to recall. She'd fallen unconscious so quickly afterwards it was hard to remember at times, though she'd had a few dreams where it occurred again. "It was as though someone had pushed aside my own mind, taking control of my actions. I... I was still there, I could watch it all happen, but I couldn't do anything other than watch."

"That's good," Dynasa nods. "That's consistent with other stories."

Callie is quiet for a moment, trying to understand the mage's reaction. She scowls, thinking, but finally concludes, "If it's consistent with other examples of it, you can confirm it was Suul, and not someone else."

"Astute, hal Devotia. I was hoping you would make this connection."

"Junivere's appointment was such an unusual thing, and you wanted to be sure that it was actually Suul's will."

Dynasa nods like a proud teacher. "Your experience rules out many options." She opens her hands wide, gesturing to encourage Callie's next question.

"What do you know about Mykah's arrival in Solva?"

"Mykah?" Dynasa thinks for a brief moment before her eyes flash with recognition. "Your mage friend."

"Yes. You said you thought his arrival and Gellan's return were too suspicious to be a coincidence."

Dynasa nods. "To anyone who might have tabs on you in the villa, and trust me there will be many, where are the most effective places to strike at you?"

"Calvin," Callie acknowledges quietly. "And my past," she adds after a moment.

"You are likely to make more reckless decisions when it comes to these things," Dynasa says simply. "Reckless decisions can be capitalized upon."

"Of course I am, I'm a person. I care about them!"

"That is not an insult, hal Devotia, apologies," Dynasa's hands raise sympathetically. "It is simply an observation of how your opponents will think to hurt you."

"How would anyone even know about Mykah? Calvin, I understand."

Dynasa takes a deep breath. "I recognize this is conjecture," she warns, before explaining, "If I were seeking to undermine a Devotia, especially one who was not from this city initially, I would quickly study your background. I would want to know everything I could and uncover any possible weaknesses."

"So you don't think it's someone who heard about him from me?"

"It is possible that it is," Dynasa concedes, "but it is not the only option."

Callie nods, appreciating how forthright Dynasa is. In every statement it's obvious she has the perspective and capacity to work against Callie, but none of the motivation. It was a level of honesty she finds surprising and refreshing.

"Can you lower your noise ward so I may inform my paladin I am intact?"

"It hasn't been a quarter hour."

"Lower it anyway."

"I didn't cast one," Dynasa says coolly.

"Yes, you did," Callie rebuts.

"And how do you know that?"

"Because you'd be foolish not to," Callie folds her arms as a warm smile spreads across Dynasa's face, once again proud that the Devotia's skills have developed. She waves a hand and Callie calls out to Glorina briefly, before allowing Dynasa to restore the ward.

"A question for you," the mage sits back. Her face softens more than it has before, falling towards an expression that borders on friendly concern. "Do you enjoy being Devotia?"

"I do."

"Mhm," Dynasa nods, though she doesn't seem to believe her. "All of it?"

Callie pauses. Other than Junivere, and occasionally the priestesses, no one seems to be interested in that level of concern about Devotia. It was always assumed the role was positive, occasionally thought of to be dangerous, but always an honor.

She mulls her response in her head briefly. She could lie, though Callie isn't sure she's a strong enough liar to convince Dynasa. Instead, she decides to trust the mage, replying, "As Devotia, I'm learning that I'm capable of far more than I ever thought I was. I've grown more in the last two months than I have in the last few years."

"But," Callie continues, a little softer, "I hate how lonely it gets. Without Junivere... I'm not sure I'd have anyone I could fully trust."

"That is very unfortunate, hal Devotia."

"It is."

"Do you know why it is this way?"

Callie's ears perk and she sits up quickly. "I assumed it was always like this."

Dynasa shakes her head slowly, and Callie feels an excited burst of warmth push through her skin. "It has been like this for some time, but less than you might expect. A hundred years ago, Devotia could marry."

"What?"

Callie can hardly contain the offense in her chest. She trembles, feeling her hands and legs buzz with energy. They could marry? They could have relationships? It doesn't have to be like this?

"It is difficult to believe, I'm sure."

"Why did they do this to me?" Callie says, her voice harsher and more filled with emotion than she expects. It takes another trio of breaths to steady herself, and Dynasa allows her the time.

"There's the standard explanation," Dynasa says, holding up one palm. "Suul's blessings cannot be biased. A Devotia with a relationship is too compromised to be a neutral party."

"That's what I was told. There's more to it?"

"There's always more to it," the mage sighs. Holding up her other palm, she continues, "Devotia used to be less fixed to a singular city. They would travel, often in groups, performing blessings and the like. Often, their power would act as a check against overreaches of power."

"What do you mean?"

"Say a city is neglecting its poor, letting them be exploited and stripped of their meager wealth... what do you think might happen if that city was suddenly visited by a group of powerful Devotia?"

"They'd bless the poor and ignore the powerful."

"It would overturn the powers at play rapidly. It was a little unstable at times, and I don't want to pretend it was faultless, but it was different."

Callie's mind races quickly. She thinks about every gala she's attended, every banquet of the nobility, and every distant wave she tossed to a crowd who would never have the privilege of actually meeting her. She thinks about Mykah, breaking into the villa and defending it by saying, 'Do you know how hard it is to meet a Devotia down there?', and Calvin's preference for avoiding nobility.

"A reactionary movement took charge," Dynasa explains as Callie feels her spirit break open into new, unexplored territory. "They managed to convince enough people that Suul didn't support such prejudice. Where this movement took charge they bound Devotia to isolated cities, away from each other. Places without Devotia, of which there are many, embodied these reforms as well; interpreting the changes as heralding a greater reinvention of society. They closed relationships, discouraged promiscuity, encouraged obedience, rejected most magic. I'm sure this is familiar to you, coming from Rookwell."

Callie nods, thinking back to every lecture about her place in society back home. She was supposed to take a wife, father children, raise them up to be loyal and chaste. Rookwell no longer even worshiped Suul, seeing even the goddess as embodying too many improper values. She grips the armrests of her chair tightly, feeling the color leave her face.

"Take your time," Dynasa says softly.

Callie's throat feels dry and a light ringing fills her head. In a short few moments, someone had provided the context necessary to reevaluate her life, filling in the gaps where there were no explanations. Why was Rookwell so different from Solva? Why did Suul celebrate love and intimacy but deny it to her Devotia? Why was it so wrong to want to be threaded? So much pain, so much frustration, so much heartache, and suddenly there was an explanation that laid it all bare before her.

"You said you wanted to steer change," Callie croaks. "Is this what you meant?"

"It is, hal Devotia. I intend to push back against these forces."

"You want to be Magewitch," she replies quickly. "How do I make that happen and how will it help us?"

To Callie's surprise, Dynasa clicks her tongue quietly and shakes her head. Callie's brow lowers impatiently, frustrated at her response.

"Tell me," she commands.

Annoyingly, Dynasa ignores her request, standing and walking over to one of the workbenches. She lifts a small, copper kettle from a stand and pours water into it, heating it quickly with her palm. After an agonizingly long few seconds, she fills two mugs of hot water, placing a small steeper with tea into each. She returns, pushing the warm cup into Callie's hand and sits back into her seat.

"Tell me," Callie says louder.

"Drink some tea, hal Devotia," Dynasa reclines comfortably, sipping her own mug.