All Comments on 'Ding!'

Been toying with a body swap story. Good to have this as a model!

Please write next chapter(s).....Exciting story....Cant wait to read what else happens to "Mom"

I think the reaction of the characters are not realisic ones to have, he dresses up in the mom to make his enemy hot and bothered? And why didn't the protagonist do research about voodoo or some other stuff during the two days? Nor overpower Anna before the dog showed up anyhow. Or find out where davie lives?

First time, out of thousands of stories I have read on Literotica, that I have rated a story a 1, would have been a zero if they had one to pick. This story is so screwed up that I personally don't see any way you can save it. This is 1 time I won't feel bad if it is an orphan story! By all means, keep writing, but try to get an editor's opinion before you submit it.

I think that you need somebody to bounce your ideas off of, none of this seems realistic. your characters use phrases and words that nobody uses, and the plot is too strange. why did he take over his mother? does he go back to work and teach? what about the little girl? did he notice everything wrong but she didn't? why didn't he leave the house, and not do anything? you really need help writing because this just isn't good. it's not well written, poor characters, and the plot needs work.

Apologies for my late reply to this.

This is my very first story, I've written - ever. I know it's not great, or even good but I dare to say that this story has potential. I've gotten various feedback from the readers from Literotica. For that, I humbly thank everyone!

Since submitting this story, I've made tons of changes, tweaks, and I'm still typing out this story. I won't give up writing this story until I finish, for the sake of finishing something. So, I want to cross over that finish line and say 'I did it'.

I'll get with an editor, jot down some feedback I've gotten, and re-submit after making some changes, tweaks, etc.

Until then, I'm all open ears for any other honest feedback. Really, keep them coming!

- MaddBlackCat

Really good story idea, different and fresh. Don't take some of the other criticism here too much to heart. If a teenage boy doesn't immediately calculate and plot to defeat his enemy like some professional action hero when his mom suddenly starts acting weird -- well, he's a teenage boy, hmm? Minor grammar quirks and typos, but not too distracting. And a very good story seed to grow this tale from.

Keep it up, you have a great start! I'm certainly hanging on your next installment!

I had to laugh at the comments about the story being unrealistic. It's in the Mind Control section, what do people expect.

Would love to read more of this tale. Keep up the good work.

This makes no sense. This cannot be the first time that the bully has been beaten.

-Why the mother?

-Isn't Davey's body starving/shitting/pissing itself/getting bedsores?

-Why was the nine year old in the story?

-This story would make more sense if the bullied person had the powers and tortured the bully.

-Where is the father?

The grammar was good, but the follow through and story concept was quite poor.

It's a fantastical fetish story. Unrealistic? That's the whole freaking point. And are you people seriously arguing about believability of character dialogue in a fetish porn story? Seriously?

Great story! i would describe it as deliciously evil.

Can't wait for the next chapter.

I like a good dark story but I say that was fuck up. I like where the main character didn't figure out who it was until the end.Wow but I would had flim them and drung them then torturou them until they live my mom body alone and my self.Or just kidnap his girlfriend that he cared so much about.

not only the boys mother will be under the guys control. But also his little sister will be controlled byAnna.I know this may be taking a bit too far but it just an idea.the bond will be heartbroken between his sister and his mother making out. the boys soon consumed with his desire starts f****** his mother and sister.this is just an idea ok so if anybody else recessed comment I am sorry but it definitely gives a nice twist to the story.

Oh man!One of the best stories i've ever read!Please writte part 3 as soon as you can and make the story have a happy ending for our hero!Keep up the terrific work!!!

I like the concept. Bully becomes his victim's mom. Clever. Your writing is fun and comedic at times in a good way. I can tell this is your first story and I say that you should keep it going

You need to continue with story!!!!

Please finish this story. One of the best on here

The most sexy AND kinky story I've ever read!You are very talented and you HAVE TO give us a chapter 2!PLEASE!!!!!!!!

One can't live very long without water. Obvious next thing to happen is that the bully's body dies of dehydration and his self is stuck in the older female body: maybe she feels a sort of odd sensation when her original body dies but ignores it. Actually she's happy about it, and has her girlfriend report the death and pretend to be sad.

There is something really unique about this story that I enjoy. Its deliciously dark and taboo, but I am a little disappointed that there is no further updates to this story.

Its a shame this story was never completed and the author has never posted anything else. (at least under this name). If MaddBlackCat still reads these comments, I say Don't give up! I think you have some writing talent

I like your idea and I think it's very original. Nothing worst in my opinion the same boring ideas for stories over and over again. Some people on here complaining they didn't like because it was too dark and unrealistic. Like erotic fetish stories supposed to realistic. They probobly fap to science periodicals. Anyways I'd recommend if your still writting do a patreon Id kick in 5$ am sure others would too.

I have read quite a few of stories about bullies and milfs/moms, but this one is a rare, exquisite one.

While the play on hand did went well, i still believe it has potential to grow, to become a lot more than it is.

Maybe my comment will be lost in this sea of thoughts and memories, but if anyone reads this, i hope they can grasp the unique essence of having something conforting in your life simply vanishing and becoming something new, like in a snap of the fingers. A phoenix, being reborn on an image of something new, a mix of two old aspects, merging into a new one, with new memories and personality.

Not exactly possession, neither body swapping, more like a fusion with a dominant persinality, if you understand what i mean.

Bravo writer, you've made quite a story.

Please

I need more. Please