All Comments on 'Dive Bar Dipsy-Doodle'

You have potential. However, you definitely need an editor. You had the same paragraph in there three times

Oh wow for your first story I give it all 5 stars! Omggggg, the vision you give is incredibly hot & had me very aroused! Can't wait for the rest of the story now,wooooo! Great Job!

Yes, I agree with the editor comment. Also, how old is Voyherwife? You kept calling their erections a "boner"! I mean, that's teenager language. Plus, the premise that a husband would agree to play a game where there is a situation of his wife getting gang-raped! Just isn't believable. With even more guys arriving to "watch" the show, the danger of it all was ridiculous. Even more that now she is being blackmailed to return to be fucked by a big "boner".

No wife here, just a cum dumpster and her closeted pimp.

Didn’t rate so as not to bring your score down. You didn’t even spellcheck, never mind self edit.

Your paragraphs are too long.

Would have given you a two but I don’t want to discourage you from writing again.

Well I would like to hear more. Please continue to adventure and share.