All Comments on 'Domination Ch. 02'

Great second chapter. Looking forward to what comes next.

Nice. Please finish the story.

Was really looking forward to the second part and am happy that you have published it. Please keep going and let us know as well, what happens on Friday, when Bren joins the party.

Keep up the good work!

The psuedo witty dialogue is reminiscent of a silkstlakinglover story. All of her stories are exact same dialogue with slightly different plots.. This is headed same way. People do not talk as you are writting them. They just don't. He went from teenager to Shakespearean actor when talking about submission. He had never considered it before, but he has these long oaths ready? Use real language. Story will be much more believable and will flow better.

great but don't stop now

Hey man don’t listen to the haters great story very interesting and well put together I’m looking forward to the next chapters pls continue the story and hopefully someone becomes pregnant Keep up the good work

Keep them coming :)

Keep up the great work

the story so far is amazing. Reading the other comments all I can say is some people seem to forget it's a story. Not supposed to be real. Its a fantasy. Take the story for what it is. A well written and erotic work of fiction. And with that is mind it is amazing and I can't wait for the next chapter.

One hell of a story. I have a question and I hope you answer later on, why in the first part were his dinners his mom left for him gone or in the trash? Please don't stop.

Very yummy and a bit of sexy in there too. Thank you!

Explanations are great.

It's a good story.

"You are an evil woman! How dare you make me hard before work! You will definitely be punished for this later." Yeah he’ll punish her by licking her pussy fucking moron.

“I had Myra now and was curious to see who her pets were. From what I knew of Myra, she would most likely have some of the hotter women and men she knew under her thumb. “ how is he okay with that? Supposedly she loves him yet has sex with so many people while treating him like shit before yesterday and hes fine with that? Is he not jealous she those “hot men”.

“ I could see Beth out from the corner of my eye as her and another server were laughing at the way this prick was treating me.” how the hell is he still working there if they treat him like this all the time?

"Don't you dare touch that plate my love," Myra said with authority as she walked up beside me. This would make more sense if he was HER submissive not her master. Maybe author got braindead and has no idea how to write a manly man that doesnt let his family/work colleague/slave people walk all over him like they own him. Fuck i remember his mom not even getting him the food he wants or his dad buying her a brand new bmw while she doesnt even work but him he has to buy and old honda himself while working..

Does this dude have 0 jealousy in his bones? Hes loved her apparently his whole life even buying her jewelry and shit but doesnt mind her getting fucked by all her pets while he gets treated like shit. And now she needs to come save him at his work? What kind of lowlife is he.. cant handle himself at work, cant even handle his gf which goes to cheat but gets to automatically dominate an apparently dominatrix/mistress with so many slaves, apparently even her own parents? Fucking stupid!

“She will make sure you are taken care of financially but until then," wth so shes rich as fuck but her loving little bro has to work like a pig where his manager treats him like shit. And she never did anything for him like he brought her gifts and shit. Dude doesnt even has food at home because he has to buy his own and hide them in a fridge in his room.. wtf

Myra, I can't..." Is she your slave or fucking girlfriend??? There is a damned difference you know!! Stop treating her like a girlfriend.

“This shit really needed to stop happening as it was starting to piss me off.“ because your a little pushover letting everyone do whatever they want to you fukin idiot even your ex cheated on you like crazy. She interrupted him multiple times now and all the time he says ill have to punish you yet he does shit.

"Who the hell do you think you are? There is no way a little bitch like you with your tiny cock could ever get someone as hot as her!" Beth said as she made her way over to us. NOBODY SAYS SOMETHING LIKE THAT OUT OF NOWHERE!! And is his sister the hottest women on earth or something??? Plus again he gets bashed by someone and his sister steps in to handle it.. cant he standup for himself at all? How is this an attractive master? And if his cock is so good how come his ex saw a need to cheat on him.

"Always when you are around my sweet pet," I replied loving the power play she had going. DUDE YOUR THE PET!! Shes even using your right now!

“Myra's number so she could know when to meet up with us“ how come not his number!?

His sister handled everything.. she is dominant and aggressive yet he is so submissive and passive? The story would make more sense if he was the slave.. like why is he the “master” if he really isnt one.. just because he raped her in his anger.. even telling him to go home, telling him to drive.. telling him where to drive.. come on man who is the master here???

“ I took the keys and helped her into the car but not before caressing her cheek as I went to shut the door.“ the slave should open door for you but what does he do? Opens door for her and helps her into the car? Its like shes his girlfriend but not slave.. dude should change this story to loving girlfriend instead of slave.

Hes so damn passive its infuriating. He even asks “is it ok to drive your car.” "So ... where are we going?" Like a little kid! A master would say give me the car keys im driving, lets go.

“but if you are going to be seen with me, then I need to dress you properly. “ this is not how a slave talks to their master. From now on im going to switch their role in my mind. She is the mistress and he is the submissive slave. Then itll make more sense on how she tells him what to do, where to sit, what to wear, where to go, cutting him off when hes talking, him opening the door for her, to fuck her when she wants/who she wants, to support him with her money, to put their parents in place, to help him handle his boss, HELL shes even the one that has pets slaves not him.

Im leaving my comments on this chapter as i read, probably long but can see it as constructive criticism.

“Funny thing was I didn't see either of my parents, though I did see Mom's car out front and knew that they didn't go anywhere“ how come he doesnt ask his sister where his parents are..?

“Though once most of the girls see what you can do, I doubt most of them would be able to say no to you anyway." What can he do? His last gf cheated on him.. means hes doing something wrong.

"Simple. She knew how close we used to be and how much I cared for you, though I didn't know I was..." She paused for a minute before continuing, "I was always looking out for you and would do anything for you.“ explain please HOW! He literally said “ youve made my life a living hell”. How is that looking out for him? Do anything? Did she help him with his car/money? Did she get him gifts? Anything? All we know is she took his dinner and threw it away everynight, wouldnt let him touch her food, wouldnt let her mom buy him what he wants..so bad that he had to get his own fridge!! So what is it that she did for him for 6 damned years.

"I am in love with you." How is that possible? She literally just said that she has been looking for a master to submit to for years..what if it wasnt him?

"Well, when we have more time, maybe we will do that ... but only if I deem it so." He is so cringe! Its clear theyre doing whatever she wants.. hes a master in name only! She is controlling him, he isnt controlling her in ANY WAY. Look at how she told her mother to sit and eat breakfast or leave! Thats how you treat a slave.. this dude is really treating her more as a girlfriend then slave.. also she wanted to date her friend candace. But candace is her slave so theyre kind of dating lol wtf?

“Some, like me, just like to serve, though I only have a need to serve you. Others like pain or bondage or other things.” Didnt she like bondage and the pain? It gave her her best orgasms?

“None of my pets/slaves do what they do for me or to me being forced into it. They all have their own free will and can ask to leave whenever they choose," she said. Didnt she say in beginning of chapter one that shes going to break her brother so bad and make him make up for all the grievances he put her trough or something? Its like the first part of chapter 1 never happened and is a totally different story. All his hate and anger is gone like the wind.

"You may go back to your friends or family now, but we do need to spend some time together soon," Myra told Krystal. Again she is in charge while he is just smiling like an idiot and blowing kisses.

How many slaves does she have anyway? Clive, krystal, candace and parents makes 5 so far.. wth?!

“It was a most excruciating time to me but it made Myra happy and I dealt with the boredom and pain. “ again a master does what he wants and imposes his will on slave.. not other way around..

“Knowing I should be in control at the moment was odd watching her giving me orders, but I would have to deal with that later.“ its been said 20 times now “ deal with it later, punish her later, talk about her cutting me off later” fuking idiot.

“ I expect my Master to wear something extravagant." Again she is demanding.

"Can I help you?" I asked wondering why she just burst in. In the shower he wondered why she came and now in the changing room same again.. i thought this dude had experience with chicks? He was a jock/athlete with one night stands and a gf right? Wth man .

and commanded, "Kneel slave!" I get it now.. my assumption was he was master in and out of the bedroom but apparently he is master only during sex.. outside of it he is her submissive opening the doors for her, listening to her about what to wear, where to go, letting her deal with money and handling his boss at work etc..the only thing he doesnt have yet is a leash on his neck.

“but do know that your mouth belongs to me as does the rest of your sexy ass." Can he stop saying how he owns her and instead act like it? Here he is in a place where she wants him to be, in her car, with her money… bitch.

"Good girl. Now lay there as I play with that which belongs to me. Show me that you will never deny me the body that I have claimed as my own," I whispered to her. How many times does he have to say she belongs to him?? And when did you claim her retard, she is the one that came to you. She owns your ass.period.

“I knew that she hadn't submitted to anyone“ dude wth? He doesnt know shit about her.. apparently she had the whole world at her feet and he didnt know..

“training was in need for her to fully obey me, but she was good enough so far that I didn't need to instill any punishment as of yet. “ when will you train her then idiot? You even said after the texts messages that you were going to punish her.. ugh again asking who owns her come on we get it..

"Even if I wanted you to bare my child? Would you do it if I asked?" ORDERED NOT ASKED GODDAMNIT.

"You may cum slave, but know that you only cum when I allow it." Ugh again repeating the same rules in words only..

"I see you are breaking in another one. Please let me know if you need any help with him." This is what i mean.. the way she breaks guys is exactly whats shes doing to him. Clothes shopping /seduction. And he goes along with it except the during sex part, outside of it she is the master even paying for his clothes! He didnt even ask her who the hell this sales lady is or who Miss ava is?? He also doesnt know where the date is? Hes being led by her..

“That could explain why no matter how mean she was, I still showered her with gifts for Christmas and birthdays.“ and what did she do/give him then????? He even thought she threw them away yet he kept buying her more like a wimp.

"I love you too Freddy. Always have and always will," she responded caressing my cheek. Thats the thing, he loved her but was always nice to her and she loved him but always mean to him and gathering slaves and shit? Even old dudes like Clive.

"Not exactly. Myra is going to take me to some club or something as she has a friend that wants to meet me," I answered.She never mentioned a club/ friend before?

"Where is mom?" I asked wondering why she wasn't downstairs spending time with Dad. Why care about that shit mother and father that treated you horribly?? No money no dinners no car nothing!

“I had purchased for her for the past few Christmas' and Birthdays. I had never seen her wear them before “ didnt she just say she always wore the jewelry he bought her?? And now hes never seen them? Also wasnt she supposed to wear her bracelet 24/7 instead of a collar? He did a whole speech about it?

“Myra walked over to Dad and gave him a kiss on the head“ again with the kisses to the parents why doesnt he get the same from his mom?????

She keeps telling him naughty boy like hes her submissive blehh.

“ I started to look for a place to park but Myra guided me to the front to use the valet parking.” He needs her guidance and control even in this??

“So in a sense, I was protecting you from the real world and from the real me as well."

Why did she say she was going to make his life a living hell that one morning at breakfast where she said she was going to break him and make him grovel if now she reveals she wanted to protect him? Plus what about the dinners she threw away or the lack of money he had from her/parents.

“Yep. I didn't like how you weren't treated as good as I would have treated you and thus just got you the shirt." This doesnt make sense, how does she know who hes dating yet he had 0 knowledge of her dating life. Also suddenly hes dating so many women but in ch1 it said he only had 2 one night stands and his then current exgf… so where are all these coming from. also why didnt she ever set him up with one of her pets if she wanted to “protect” him so badly.

“I still wanted to know who her slaves/pets were but it would have to wait until later.“ why again until later.. and what world is this where she has soooo many pets she doesnt know wht to do with. And how come she is jealous he has 1 girl while she has 20/30 girls and boys and he has 0 jealousy, literally 0! Also she didnt explain the part where she wanted to break him and make him grovel like what happened in ch1.

"Since you want to tempt your Master, you must now be punished and please your Master." Why is he always talking like he is in a theater/play during sex/slave moments. Its really weird like cant he just talk normally and say pleasure me..and how is sucking dick a punishment for her lol.

“I had gotten blowjobs from each of my girlfriends going back a couple years, but none could compare to Myra.“ it literally said he only had 2 one nights stands in a car and his then current exgf that cheated on him.

“When the door opened, I saw the little blonde that my sister had had over on several occasions.“ so he was home when her pets where there as well? But you said in ch1 he could hear everything from her room that was above a whisper.. how didnt he ever hear what they were up to in her room then? Its even mentioned he could hear her masturbating for a while until she stopped that. I assumed all this while he was never home when her pets were there or something.

"Kneel before me slave," Oh come just say on your knees Myra why does he suddenly become a movie actor.

Also he doesnt comment on her (Allie)house/cars? Atleast a “nice house/cars you have”.

"Then I command you to release her," I replied. Just say release her.. no need to say i command you lmao cringe.

"I accept your releasing of this slave.“ oh god lol hahaha

"I shall never doubt your loyalty my slave. You have served me faithfully “ come on shakespeare its just been one day… one good day after many horrible years. Its also weird how he does his ceremonys lol but yeah whatever. Why does he kiss Allie like he loves her? Its just .. is she slave or lover.. whatever.

“If anything, I should be the one moving mountains and calling upon the gods of old to just get a glimpse at this beauty. “ what wimp shit is this? Does he not know about how to control a slave using dread..i really hate Myra but i hope she shows him some stuff about how to really dominate. I mean she showed him at work on how to put people in their place but nothing about real domination yet…all he does is charm them with romance stuff but no controlling/dominating.

“At that moment, I could care less about any of the submissive crap as I wasn't going to force her or anyone else into something like this.“ whatsup with this sensitive dude, she is a sex slave and has her legs open and begging for cock and now hes questioning everything.

“ Ever since I saw you at Myra's house, I have been attracted to you and actually wanted to give it to you before today. ” if this is true why did Myra not make her seduce him ever? Not even introductions so they could meet and date? Wtf?

“because I did intend to have sex with her again very soon (yeah selfish I know but it would be to her benefit as well).“ why is wanting to have sex with someone selfish? ?

“I will say that it felt better being with her than with Myra due to the tightness, “ lol finally he admits Myras used up pussy is not all that. Kind of thought he would never stop worshipping her.!

"You don't want me to punish you now do you?" I asked in a stern voice. Hes said he needs to punish her for ordering him/the texts and many other things for10 times now and yet never does it! One moment he is all dom and the other he is shit! This was no domination just a regular threesome…

“She was not only hot as all hell but she was a woman that matched with me perfectly.“ yeah thats why you called her an abusive controlling bitch, raped her and wanted to run away to a different state to get away.

“kneel before the one you serve," this really cracks me up everytime to how cringe it is lol.

"The both of you will work together to pleasure your Master and to make your Master cum." I thought he was going to punish them? He literally told them hes going to punish them? How is pleasuring punishing them? Does he even know the meaning of punishment? Its to do something they dont like so they dont disobey/displease him again.. come on man he knows they like pleasuring him.

“Both hands moved up my legs and to my cock. Then, like it was meant to happen all along, “ it looks like this is practiced? That means theyve serviced other guys like this before? “my cock was not getting any attention and so far, they were disobeying my order.” Wow what a punishment they really learned their lesson /sarcasm.

What kind of hypocrite is he? Just now he told her to leave his cum on the floor when Allie was sucking it and now hes telling them to cherish it and it belongs in their bellies or pussy. hes contradicting himself. Plus theyre his slaves but he doesnt dare train them for anal? What if they want it and need it? Does he only care about what hes comfortable with? Doesnt he realize if he doesnt take care of their submissive needs theyll cheat on him and find someone to take care of his needs like his exgf did?

"When the both of you have completed your tasks, go get cleaned up and come join me on the bed. Master expects his slaves to sleep with him tonight." How about ordering them to clean you up as well? He had all that drool on him right and all of their cum and everything on him. Plus doesnt he even ask if it is okay to sleep over there? What about her parents etc? Or even a normal conversation about Allie and how they met and shit wtf man.

“also drifted off to dreamland wondering who else Myra had as a pet that I would take as my own. “ dude why is he letting her control/lead his life? His whole life is like being managed by her.. she managed his work, his first (herself)and second slave, money, parents, what to wear, where to eat, handled his boss and beth, and alot more.. come on doesnt he have 1 single thing he choses to do himself? Also again 0 bdsm in this chapter, not even spanking as a punishment! Nothing! Just a regular threesome!

Basically Myra is his Misstress/sugar momma now handling his life giving him money and women/clothes and her car under her supervision all under the guise of being his slave but shes controlling him just like she did the time he tied her up.

Like the story, a lot. AAAA++++

Seems like Myra is controlling him, not the other way around. Otherwise a good story!

I'm not into dom/sub stories BUT this one has my interest.

Weezyf, I'm with you. I think daemonrunner is a bright, but very inexperienced, and very weak teenage boy. He pedastalizes women. He wants to kiss their feet, and caress their cheeks. I think Daemonrunner is a momma's boy, and he assumes that women naturally take care of the men in their lives. So when he goes to write a story, he imagines what it would feel like to dominate a woman, but in his inexperience and weakness, he writes himself as the sub, and doesn't even realize it. I'm with Weezyf here. I find the story more interesting for what it tells us about Daemonrunner than for it's weird plot and characters.

An unusual take on this type of relationship. Yes, some odd glitches and some strange gaps but enjoying it and prepared to keep going with it.