Don't Judge Me Ch. 01

Don't judge me, ok? I'll tell you what happened.

I'll just... start at the beginning. Be patient with me.

I met her by accident, or at least, that's what I thought. I mean, I should have been more careful, you know? But I had no idea!

Ok, ok, I know. "Start at the beginning". Here goes.

I was... look, I'm not proud of it. I was... playing. I mean, I figured out how to... sort of... flash a bit of leg. You know, just being cheeky, but in ways that didn't look like it was on purpose.

I just loved it so much! I would put on a breezy summer dress, nice and short, and look for little accidents I could have. You know, sort of "wardrobe malfunctions". Just enough to flash a little, so I could see the reaction. It made me feel so powerful, so sexy. It didn't take much to get me so horny I would hurry back home and... well, get the relief I needed, right?

That's not so weird, right?

Ok, so I was out playing this day. It was last summer. I found a spot in the local park where I could sit on a low concrete wall. I could lean back on a pillar, and raise my knees just enough, you know? So anyone coming up the path at just the right angle would be getting a peek.

I would wear dark glasses so nobody could see where I was looking, and I had an old paperback that I held against my knees. That way, I could pretend to be innocently reading, and keep an eye on everyone as they went past, just to gauge their reactions.

The women almost all just went by without even noticing. Or if they noticed they didn't show it. They would have assumed it was accidental, but that's only if they gave it a thought at all.

But the men!

It's amazing what power a pair of smoothly shaved legs (ok, I also used a little foundation on them to make the skin look flawless. A lady has her little tricks!), has on a man. It's like their gaze is drawn upwards to find a pot at the end of the rainbow or something. They would steer just slightly to one side, or turn to look at "something" to their left, just to swing back around and steal another glance. It was all pretty transparent.

Some men made no attempt to even hide it. They just gawked! That's why I needed the book and the glasses, so I could pretend not to notice.

To be fair, every now and then there would be a gentleman. I mean, a truly chivalrous man. I would catch that moment when he suddenly caught a glimpse up my dress, and he would turn his head. Literally, he would turn away and be looking the other way as he went past, pretending to notice something over there. If such a man was with someone else he would also draw their attention away. Bless 'em, there's not many like that, but they're out there.

Anyway, it turns out I hadn't been careful enough in my games. I did have my favorite spots, and in hindsight it was bound to happen sooner or later...

I got caught.

Miss Havisham... ok, look, now that I think of it I don't really have any way of knowing that's her real name! But anyway, she had been watching. I don't know for how long, and I never really paid much attention to the women I saw, because I felt pretty invisible to them. Presumably she had noticed me around, and she picked up on my patterns.

I did have a different kind of knickers on that day. I had started out with my regular briefs, and as I felt more sexy I found lacy thongs, normally white ones, for my games, but this day I had hot-pants. They were lacy, and a sort of emerald green color. I was trying them out. I still wasn't sure if they made me feel as sexy as the thongs. It wasn't "better" or "worse", it was just a different feel, and a different look. I spent several minutes in the mirror that morning just seeing how I felt about them, so I was giving them a try.

I didn't have a dress this day, but a skirt. It wasn't all that short, either. It was above the knee, but you wouldn't call it a mini. The light green pleated skirt and little yellow cardigan were a really sweet match, together with a modest white blouse with a pretty little ruffle around high neck. I felt pretty in that outfit, and the knickers matched in with it. It was a nice ensemble.

I was stunned into instant silence when Miss Havisham, whose approach I had not even notice, suddenly appeared immediately in my personal space, intruding on my bubble of pretend book-reading, and people-watching (ok, men-watching). She was dressed conservatively. She was much older than me. Maybe my parents' age. Maybe even a little older. She was attractive. Not "pretty", the way younger women are, but beautiful. She was noble. Almost regal.

"The green is a good choice. They suit you.", she stated, matter-of-factly. Her tone was the opposite of unassuming, In fact it appeared to assume literally everything. It asked no permission, and instead pronounced with finality an authoritative statement. It didn't even invite a response, really. It was the final word.

I was shocked to have been addressed at all. For a moment I didn't even process what she said. I just stared. She stared back.

After a moment, I mumbled, "Oh, um, thank you", because she had, after all, offered a compliment of sorts. I adjusted my posture slightly so that I was no longer on display, and lifted the hem of the skirt, "It's cute, isn't it?"

"I was talking about those knickers, my dear. A good choice. How much interest have you had today?"

Well, at that my throat seized up. I realized I had been caught. She completely knew what I was doing. I could get in a lot of trouble, too. At first I wondered if she was the police. Maybe I had been reported, and she had come to give me a warning. Or worse, charge me with something!

"Um...", was all I could manage. I fidgeted with my skirt. I took off the shades. I tugged my fringe. I wondered what an innocent person would act like in this situation, and I couldn't decide, but whatever it was, I was certain it was the opposite of everything I was doing. I was also blushing. I silently cursed myself.

"That teenage boy who went by a few minutes ago will probably do himself an injury as he remembers you later on. He may not sleep for a week." She was speaking with a faux severity, but wasn't inviting me into her humor, such as it was. She was half lecturing, half teasing me. It was said for her amusement, not mine. It was humor at my expense.

For my part, I was like a butterfly, pinned to a board and helpless. This lady saw right through me. She had me completely at a disadvantage. And that's apparently how she liked it.

Strangely, that's also how I liked it.

I can't explain it. She was so strong. Not bossy, just... powerful. As she spoke, I felt myself drawn into her authority.

I started muttering and stuttering an apology, of sorts. It wasn't making much sense, and I wasn't forming whole words, I was just just flailing about.

She said, "Stop that".

I did.

She said, "Stand up".

I did.

She said nothing. I waited.

I wasn't trying to think of anything to say any more. I was waiting for her to speak again. I started to realize I actually just wanted her to issue another command. I started to realize I would obey it without question...

After a pause, during which she looked me straight in the eye and held my gaze, she said, thoughtfully, "Do you want to know what's going to happen next?"

I paused for a moment. I wasn't sure the answer truly was yes. I just wanted to stay in this moment for longer. I was in her thrall. I had never experienced that before, and I wanted it to last longer. I didn't really want to know what was going to happen next. I just wanted to react to her instructions like a robot being commanded to act.

But she had asked a question. The only correct answer was yes. I had no choice. I nodded.

"Ok, this is what's going to happen next. There is a word. The word is 'triangulate'. Do you know that word? Do you know what it means?", she asked.

I nodded. I had done some geometry. I had no idea why she was asking me this.

"That word is your 'out'. If you say that word, I will walk away and you won't hear from me again. Do you understand?" She was holding my eye contact authoritatively. Her words were resonating through me as she spoke. I wasn't just hearing them and understanding them, I was experiencing her speech.

"I understand", I meekly said. Although I really only understood the sentence she had said, with no idea how to contextualize the information and understand its implications.

"Do you want me to go away?" she asked, in her neutral, plain, but completely authoritative tone.

"No, ma'am", I replied.

"Well you might, soon", she cautioned. She included no hint of humor in the caution. "And when you do, you can say the word, and I'll go. Do you understand?"

Again, although I didn't know where this was going, I acknowledged that I understood her comments.

"Well, I've told you twice. I'm telling you a third time now. If you say the word, I leave you alone. Repeat that back to me.", she instructed.

"If I say the word, you will leave me alone", I repeated obediently.

She shifted her posture and took in our surroundings. I remained fixed on her. I wanted her to tell me to say another thing, or do something. I wanted to obey her more. It was intoxicating. I didn't know what was happening to me, but I didn't want it to stop.

Miss Havisham finished her survey of the surrounding area and turned her attention back to me. "Give them to me", she said.

I wanted to obey. She had given me an instruction, and I desperately wanted to be obedient to it. It was weird, because it wasn't like I wanted to please her, as such. I just wanted to obey.

But I didn't know what she was talking about, "I, er... give you...?"

Miss Havisham's visage transformed. In a moment she switched from elegant lady at the park, to something else. Something... majestic. A presence of commanding authority. Not cruel, not threatening, but irresistibly coercive. Her instructions became so much more than words. They went straight to my body, to my limbs, to my subconscious. I didn't process the words, they just instructed my very inner self.

"Your underwear, girl. Give me those green hot pants", she was commanding, and very slightly impatient. She held out one hand expectantly.

I was shocked. I could scarcely believe what was happening. Who was this strange woman? What was her game? Why did she want my underwear? How does a person react to being asked for their underwear in a public place... while still wearing them?!

I blinked. She was holding my knickers in her hand. In one movement she tucked them into her handbag. "Come with me", she said.

I did.

It took several seconds, as I walked obediently behind this curious woman, to really come to terms with what had just happened. While I had been asking myself a series of indignant questions about her request, I had simultaneously been obeying her. I had reached up my skirt, hooked the waistband of my knickers, and bending over double at the hips, I had pushed them to the ground and stepped out of them, lifting them up and placing them in Miss Havisham's hand. I had done it without looking around to see who might notice, or who might object.

It... it gets worse, ok? Don't judge me.