All Comments on 'Don't Let Me Down'

I really thought this was a good story. Nice lead-up, climax (I know its a porn site but I dont mean it like that :) and wrap-up. It all fit together well and I wasnt left wondering why the husband did this or didnt do that.

I think Tim should have gotten a lump or two himself though. I can understand him being a prig towards the working man husband, but what guy sits there and lets someone talk about his sisters like that? If Sean hadnt been so greedy he would have carried on just like he told them he would and Tim would have kept on thinking he was a great guy.

All in all it was a very good story even if it wasnt very funny - wouldnt want you to get a swelled head if I went and offered unconditional praise :)

PS - I also thought the Irish lawyer punching the mason was a bit much. The Irish might be scrappy little fellows but bad tempers and alcohol fogged pain receptors only go so far (kidding again).

I enjoyed your story very much.

Boyd

HDK,

and something not usually seen on this site. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thank You. Ronnie W.

Good twist but poor reason and wife's words to husband on what was said was misleading. Some wife's would have twisted that into an opportunity to show the husband by befriending the guy. But a good story none the less.

Finally a real loving wives story!

Then again, when is a HDK story not? Great reading, as usual.

HDK,

Thanks for another fine story. I will not try to do better than some of my other favorite authors who have already said what was needed.

good story old fox.

Hardaysknight my das family and i are Irish raised and my dad would have been the same way if someone said something about his wife. and that was great.

Pat Murray

Atlanta,Ga

HDK, have to admit this was one of your finest stories. brief , consise and no rhetoric. Love that fact that human emotions were laid out and raw and the older generation (Rose)stepped in.

Have to tell you, how many times a woman's logic steps in to the fray and a man just understands "she is right."

Good job my man.

this story is OK but way too may folks here seem to be letting the wife get off scott free.

You see the author changes direction mid stram and lets the wife' AWFUL reaction to he hsuband go by with NO consequences.

HDK sets this story up as a "class" thing. The hubby a brick layer...the wife from the upper strata of society

Here are the problems that are Ignored in this story. comments to my analysis are welcomed.

1 while JASON's intial restraint towards using violence when SEAN threatens to fuck his wife is admirable... when he tells the KATE about what the Sean said SHE REFUSED TO BELIEVE HER OWN HUSBAND.

2 oK maybe her 1st eaction is understandable. But Kate went out of her way to make excuses and she did so several times!!! Instead Kate turned his concerns into some sort of light hearted sexual actvity for the afternoon. She doesnt even say "well thanks for warning but I am big girl"...

3 when the Fight broke out she stopped her own husband from defending HER honor... she was far more concerned about Sean being beaten up.

4 why was it necessary for Kate to stay on at the hotel room after ANN left to fire SEAN? Cant this be done the Next day? or by phone call???

5 Her bizzare unexplained Intervention at the fight got her own husband BEATEN up... she never apologizeed for that. Kate prevented her own husband from defending himself / fighting back

6 she never aplogizes to Jason about what it must of looked like when He saw his own wife leaving the motel room shortly after Sean left.

7 after the fight TIM apologizes to Jason for not firing Sean... and Rose (Kates Mom) speaks well of Jaons actions... but not one fucking word from Kate towards Jason.

if anything through the entire story She is clearly EMBARRASSED by her stupid dumb neanderthal husband.

SUUMARY the wife actions are wrong and awful and reveal a SERIOUS character flaw. Someone needs to do a sequel to this story... this marriage is in BIG trouble

is a really good story. Very well wriiten and not spread out for weeks and weeks like some authors do.

Thanks for the great entertainment

Damn!, but you're one heck of a story-writer!!

This is one fine piece of work.

-- KVK

Kate and Tim were hypocritical fools. First, Tim as future leader of the firm (the largest and most successful law firm) basically gave Sean a pass to sexually seduce any woman. That is not good business sense. Kate then calls her husband a liar siding with Tim's and Sean's versions of the confrontation. Kate later stops Jason by reminding him to believe and trust in her but she could not do that for Jason. A jaunt in the Jacuzzi would have not settled how she disrespected Jason in the first place.

It would have been nice for Kate to apologize for her actions which led to the fight with Sean. Jason should have also ask himself how much could have occurred during the 15 minutes period that Sean and Kate was in the motel.

But I do not know why he should be apologize to Kate given how she brushed off his concerns about Sean earlier and then end up at a motel with Sean.

Most of the comments above are nits not serious flaws. You wrote one of your best stories and I thank you.

SleeplessinMD

Hardaysknight:

This is an excellent story with all the right ingredients and twists. Compose more!

RAG

no one, on a meeting with many grown men and women of professional ranks, would overtly talk about "i'm gonna fuck your sister" [to another lawyer colleague, who happens to be the son of the boss of the law firm, when, not only the brother is there but also the husband of the targeted woman is there!],,,

,,,and then have the brother, who would supposedly turn out later to be really incensed!, say dumb things like "Oh, I'm sure he doesn't mean it, Jason,,, he's just kidding,,, besides, Kate would never do any thing to ruin hers and your marriage,,,"

i mean, really! the issue is NOT whether Kate would or would not do with such an "asshole", the issue is whether or not such a man should be EMPLOYED your daddy's law firm! it's fuckin' down right stupid, the way the author struactured the dialogues,,,, sure, we want "excitement" and "suspense" and "adult" BSing,,, but not at 2nd grade level drivel!

very entertaining.

It's a great read - what more can I say!

Regards, Jack

The facts are a little weak, but the characters are typical harddaysknight and thus fully realized and wonderful. I was afraid that you had slipped away but it is a pleasure to see you back and on your game!

I enjoyed the story but I had trouble with the Kate character.

This story is about trust and when Jason founds out that Kate was innocent he was upset that he didn't trust her despite having seen convincing circumstantial evidence. And although he didn't quite apologise to her for it the feeling was there. But how about Kate? After the poker incident she made the following comments.

'You lost your temper and made too much out of an innocent comment, didn't you?"

"Jason, I know that can't be accurate. Pat and I will have a say in any decisions regarding the company and Tim knows it. Sean has to know that as well."

"Jason, Tim is my brother and would never condone those words or actions from Sean!" Kate replied indignantly. You've blown everything all out of proportion. I never knew you to be jealous before."

Basically she doesn't believe him. She accuses him of being jealous and chides him for his reaction. Then later when Sean tries to seduce her she neither admited too her husband that he was right or apologised for not trusting him. She didn't even trust him enough to tell him what is happening but that he needs to stay out of it because she has it under control.

Kate to my mind showed less trust than did Jason. Or maybe I'm just upset that she stopped Jason from getting his licks in on that asshole Sean.

Good story and thanks for writing.

She dismisses his warnings about Sean, only to find out he was correct. Not only does she not tell him this, but she basically strings him along. When he accuses her of fucking Sean she reacts with anger. But look at it if the roles were reversed. In all likelihood even after finding out he really didn't fuck another woman, everything you wrote regarding her personality would indicate the marriage may be in serious trouble. At the very least one would assume she would think he had cheated on her. She's the one with trust issues, and a hypocrite.

Another fine story by one who is probably Literotica's best writer. As many others have said, the story was very well done , but Kate and Tim are not portrayed as very likeable characters. One, Kate accuses her husband of gross exageration when he tells her about the poker game and the letchers comments and,two, what allegedly smart, beautiful lawyer visits a letcher in a seedy motel room without a police back up.As others have also said Tim's behavior was inexcuseable. But, if everyone was perfect, we would never have great stories like Hdks. 60 year old George

two stories in three days. Great job, feels good to see you "GET BACK" to where you once belonged. LYG

I'm curious why Tim kept his cheating slut wife? If it wasn't Sean it's gonna be someone else next week. How cum all your stories seem to have at least one cuckold getting in touch with their inner wimp?

Each of Harry in VA's seven points is completely valid.

Not only was this wife brain dead - and supposedly a lawyer LMAO!! - BUT she deliberately disrespects her husband.

There is no basis there for any sort of successful marriage.

And I will ask again...

What is this annoying fetish way too many LW authors have for the husband being wrong when the wife fucks up??

What about an occasional husband with balls enough to confront a woman who does the wrong thing?

The human race is headed for extinction if all men end up like these wimps - women will eventually refuse to breed with the sort spinless arseholes so frequently portrayed in these stories.

Do I sound annoyed? You bet I am!

What about a few stories with men, (as opposed to persons of the male gender), men who will act like men - no violence or revenge is really needed, but at least they should have the guts to tell it how it really is, not how some poor author thinks the Feminazis might like the story to go.

I heard my dad tell my brothers as they grew up that it takes more than a prick hanging between your legs to make you a man. In too many so called erotic stories we have males, but they are so far removed from being men that they are no more than a sick joke.

Do you guys really think women want some sychophantic eunuch for a partner? If you do, you have my deepest sympathy. If you don't believe they do, then why the bloody hell do you keep writing such weak jellyfish into your stories?

Come on authors - some stories with men in them - if you can manage the stress involved in such a venture.

Decent quality writing that's unfortunately marred by typos and some grammatical oopsies. I don't know what a "fam damnly" is and somewhere somebody smarter than me said adjacent doubled possessives are poor style. "Kate's parent's property" is technically correct but it doesn't read well at all.

The characterizations are solid. Kate's fiery, independent and strong-willed enough to buck her father and her brother to pursue her relationship with Jason. She works hard at her job and is competent at it. She's apparently a good mother because Jason never complained about that nor did anyone else in her family. She's dedicated to her husband and, if I had to guess, the mellowing of his in-laws toward Jason was her doing. She loves her family, both immediate and extended and she's admirable in looking out for them. She's noble and she comes across as an interesting woman. If she has a fault, I'd say she doesn't always communicate with Jason as well as she should.

Jason's character is sympathetic in his own way. He's a working man, good with his hands and confident in his skills. He's successful and skilled and we admire the fact that he takes pride in his work in a day and age where that concept is old-fashioned. He loves his wife in spite of her family's hostility. He has his flaws. He doesn't always think things out before he acts and it's that character trait that leads us to the story's plotline.

Sean's character is a bit fantastic to my way of thinking. He's clearly the impact character but, honestly, the guy is about as a subtle as an avalanche. You'd think as a lawyer he'd be more circumspect in his pursuit of women. HDK suggests that he's an extreme blowhard when Sean brags about the women he's supposedly banged and how he loves to boff married pussy in particular. But only an idiot would threaten to fuck another man's wife to his face. It's all a bit too fantastic for me and I didn't find Sean's character believable. A darker, more sinister Sean would've been preferable, a snake in the grass rather than a boisterous buffoon.

You gotta like Rose's character as she waltzes through her few scenes. She's the power behind the throne if you will and it's her steady hand that keeps the O'Malley clan pointed in the right direction. She has perspicuity to see Jason as he is and has come to know him and love him over the years. It's her legacy of honesty and integrity that Kate, Pat and even Tim carry.

Don fills the role of sidekick. He's the loyal friend, good buddy and all around pal. HDK didn't really flesh out Don's character much so we don't really know him too well so we have to guess. He acts realistically within the tale so the lack of depth isn't a problem.

The plot plays out interestingly. By the time I got to the party scene, I already knew Kate hadn't cheated on Jason because I knew her character so the anticipation for me was "Who dunnit?" It was perhaps fitting justice that it was Tim's wife Anne who almost succumbed to Sean's charms.

The interplay between Kate and Jason is positive and affirmative and they act as we expect. He's furious because he thinks she cheated. She's mad because the idea of cheating on him is an anathema. Her demand that he beat her if she did what he thought was risky. Jason was furious and he could've lost it right there but he didn't. It shows how strong the love is between them.

I can't condone the violence that Jason wishes to do. Assaulting another person is a felony and you are not entitled, no matter how pissed off you are. Why not just whip out an assault rifle and do the job right? If you're angry to strike, you're angry to kill.

Excellent fiction this is. This 75's for you, Harddaysknight, for a story well-told.

I agree with Kanga and Harry, you ALWAYS mke the actions of a foolish wife the husband's fault. Bullshit, Kate isn't worth fighting for. He's weak, you can't say any different. He should have knocked her worthless fucking head off. She is the reason he got hurt, defending the piece of shit?, she probably did fuck the little bastard at the motel.

Avoid physical retaliation at all costs.

Understand this. If some asshole threatened my wife like in this story, I would only have two choices. Beat the shit out of him and maybe go to jail, but retaining my SELF RESPECT. The other choice is do nothing and forever live with a feeling of no self worth.

I look at these choices as being a man or a wimp.

You guys take your pick, I allready know what mine is.

Those posters who pick apart a story like this from HDK will never, I think, understand what he is about.

The logical inconsistancies are merely shortcuts. To get the setup and punchline he wants, HDK has to manipulate the characters to be in a particular emotional/sexual situation. I suppose that HDK could build some elaborate background story so we can all understand the actions of Kate or Anne or Tim. But that wouldn't add to the story. Instead, the loving wives in an HDK story often do something inexplicable or just plain dumb. It allows him to get to the point of the story quickly.

HDK is about discovering new and different kinds of LW stories. What is important is the slant of the story. Going into a deep analysis of HDK's characters' motivations just doesn't make any sense.

On the sliding HDK scale, this story scores pretty well for me. There was a bit of slight of hand by making the Tim's wife the subject of the seduction. And maybe we are reaching our limit of stories about construction workers married to lawyers. I think maybe HDK has told the story of every such linkup in the country by now.

HDK bids to be amusing. He amuses me. I'm always happy to see a new posting.

It should be No surprise to anyone that Alavraon53 who LOVES soft pussy like men loves this story

the story isnt Bad per se but Kate actions are ground for Jason to divorce her or leave her for a long time.

Jason did almost make a bad mistake. Killing the creep would have had dire consequences. Their marriage sounds really great, one to be aspired to.

Really enjoy your stories, lad.

Hiya, Harry. How's it going up in the nickel bleachers, my man? I almost decided to blow big holes in your original posting but opted to pass on the opportunity as it's not worth my time.

You need to lighten up, Harry. Your constant apoplexy must be a concern to your family doctor as it can lead to early stage hypertension.

You're just unhappy that I won't toe the LW Nazi Party line that it's always the woman's fault. Really, Harry, that's an awfully provincial attitude for someone as enlightened as you.

Does it twist your jammies that I refuse to pre-judge based on deeply ingrained prejudices? I guess you must like the world painted in monochrome, all black and white. Life is simpler that way since it doesn't really require any serious thought. After all, thinking is painful therefore most people don't.

Oh, before I forget, it's quite rude to call someone a pussy. Didn't your momma teach you about respect for other people? I guess she didn't since many of your comments that I've read are very disrespectful. One has to wonder if you're insecure or something. My granddad always said, if you don't respect yourself, you won't respect others. I wonder if that works the other way around.

Well, it's after the witching hour so I reckon I'd better go crucify some toads and load up on supplies for tonight's satanic rituals out by the old mill. Have a nice day.

I haven't read all the comments, but some seem to miss the art of telling a story to make a twist work. Of course you had to build some credibility to the idea that Kate might have been in the motel room to cheat or the story wouldn't be interesting.

I thought you did a good job there, it wasn't until my second read that I saw where you had set up her "accusations" as the type of teasing that a good wife might enjoy. You also did a good job of showing that Kate had a blind spot about her husband's lack of confidence as a working man among lawyers. She didn't see any reason for it and was more dismissive than she should be, but that's the type of mistake someone in love with "Her man" might make.

I thought it was a nice touch to show that both husbands were worried, it makes Jason's lack of faith more acceptable and having both of them at the motel takes care of several plot concerns.

My only real critique is that Sean seems a bit of a overdone. I can't see a slimball like that having a friend like Tim. Still, we only saw one side of him.

Very good job... More pleae

A piss-poor tale.

You wrote a very original plot considering that a typical Literotica Loving Wives plot includes a cuckolding or a good old fashioned evangelical ass whupping of the woman. Although I found some of the story a bit forced or unrealistic (I'm from an Irish family and no Irish mother tells her daughter to get her husband to a Jacuzzi in front of the rest of the family) the originality of the plot overcomes all. I was especially intriqued with the angst of some evangelicals. They really want to see a woman suffer. Maybe you should have had Kate hit with a frying pan or something during the fight.

i take each story on the merit of the story.this story was a good story and the wife had good intentions.the brother was a dumby until his wife was the target,which his wife was the weak leak in the story.the construction worker wife was a little slow about telling hubby about the plan of the company to dismiss the asshole.the hubby isn't at fault for wife laziness or studipity in not telling hubby about dismissle of asshole.

HDK, There have been enough comments on what kind of wife Kate is etc. etc. so I won't say a word on it. Yet, I find it strange that all those who like to attack miss the only disconcerting thing about the whole story.

Sean or Clark? who the hell was it?

Economy drives HDK's Stories. Words count as do 2 countem two pages each time.

Now to be fair, he is close to or at least in the top 10 best in the compelling, emotional and intriguing theme of Marital Consequence.

Some thoughts:

Bullet - please knudge your statesman for overview and the editor rites of Penn. Literature.

HDK - it won't hoit to try it. It could make you near poifect.

Other:

Nobody - Nobody has so economy of space and the ability to pack it like HDK does - however to do so he must extreme or dumb down a little in that economy. He knows that on the surface it flys well compacted and it doesn't give away the farm for the ending so rapidly approaching that most require a reread to see what happened - to really understand the what and why. Talk about good and fast brick laying! Whew!

A Talent to be sure who understands that to have a "short" story that works a certain amount of authors license of shorthanded conciseness must be at play. We are asked to assume or fill in or accept without the layers of litany detailing the understanding of the what, why and how.

We also can't know everything or the read would be 1 of the 2 pages (much 2 short).

To summerize or winterize a great critiquerer - this doesn't get much better in 2 pages. Now 3 pages could very interesting.

You are very appreciated Author!

With Very High Regard

Where you been man? I enjoyed this one just as I have virtually all of your other stories. Well written, short, but with character. I hope you have some more for us to read very soon.

I enjoyed each of your last two stories but this one in particular.

its a quickie then. a very quick quickie. LOL

Nothing more to add.

you try for the bleeding heart way about the asshole talking about fucking the boss sisters.he should've been fired then.lettting him win the fight was a no no,the wife was out of line the way she handle things.he should've spank her ass.

Bravo! Another well done piece! They are lucky to have a love like that! I still would have liked to see. er' read

about sean's ass whooping by Jason!

Maybe next time!

Thanks for writing!

Sexmate

I think jason should at least put sean in the restraints that way he wont mess around any more.I loved the way your humour came out in the story it was funny.

Pat.

Atlanta,Ga

I've always thought that you were one of the top five authors on this site. But your Kate character didn't make it. You did not show us why Hubby should remain married to her. xbow (Kanga, SleeplessinMD, and yes, even HaaryinVA)nailed it.

and there is nothing that elitist bozo Alvaron can say about that

as good as these characters could be written. I thought it was a very strong tale.

Liked it when I first read it, and I still do. I've no idea what Harry's latest frothing babbling means but the people who voted on this gem of HDK's rated it at 4.76/5.00 when I checked. Now maybe Harry thinks that's a low rating but it wouldn't be the first time Harry's been wrong and probably won't be the last.

<P>

Thanks, HDK, for a fine story.

"When I was 17, he didn't know anything about anything. I felt like just being around him was making me dumber. How did he get so smart in the ten years since?" - HDK

"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned."

- Mark Twain

It is a real compliment to a writer when lines they penned pass into common usage to be picked up by other writers. I'm sure that Samuel Clemens, wherever he is, thanks you for that honor.

Clark? I thought his name was Sean. Looks like you made some name errors in the last few paragraphs.

Great story you make it almost real.

To the last person to comment. CAN YOU READ? His last name was Clark. I guess you have never called someone by there last name.

My 2 year old grandson can keep up better that you!

If I seem harsh all they had to do was reread a small part of the story and they would have known.

Once she says this... 'You lost your temper and made too much out of an innocent comment, didn't you?" "Jason, I know that can't be accurate. Pat and I will have a say in any decisions regarding the company and Tim knows it. Sean has to know that as well." "Jason, Tim is my brother and would never condone those words or actions from Sean!" Kate replied indignantly. You've blown everything all out of proportion. I never knew you to be jealous before." you run in the oppposite direction and get far away from the selfish bitch... this is not something any wife would come close to thinking or saying. To write it in a story, means you think that two Intelligent happily married people could not only say this, but even think this way... she wouldn't know her husband well enough. It completely invalidates the rest of the story.

You have a good way with twists that have a good ending. This was a good story.

fairy tales

a how-to on building a great story - one of my favorites. jw1

Family is supposedly offended when Kate is called a bitch in the party confrontation, but Tim does nothing at the poker game when both sisters are called cunts.

The prior commentor is correct. His wife was demeaning and disrespectful to her husband's honesty and concerns. I would be angry for her just for that, particularly if I was not someone prone to exaggeration.

And the whole 'respect the family thing' was a big fail in the poker game. Insulting his sisters, and two brother in laws isn't family? Really?

You got it all wrong, she wasn't trying to dis her man, she just thought that she knew better and could handle it in a modern, empowered womanly sort of way. Of course that blew up in her face, and she accidentally wound up disrespecting him anyway. But really, who didn't see that one?

of how a fine writer you truely are. R.T.

but you made the husband a punk, he got his ass wimped, and she talked to him like he was 4. Another HDK special, your wimp husband almost match Matt Monroe's males. Why don't you to get together and write the world's great husband is a pussy story. "My wife is having her lover's baby and I'll forgive her as long as she says she loves me"....lol

I agree with the commenters that don't like what Tim tolerated at the poker game or that they whitewashed the telling of it so that the protaganist got lectured by Kate and made to look like a jealous fool.

Yet I realize that I cannot see into the mind of HDK when he writes these tales. Other writers have said he is tricky and writes this way to stir us up. He is successful I think...

I have come to accept each writer's story as written and do not get constipated like Harry and others do when it doesn't read the way they think it should in their minds. I may not like a character the writer developes but I do realize there is a reason for it in the story.

It is hard not to get involved in a story for me because that is what reading is all about. I became somewhat of a foolish romantic years ago reading Zane Grey and Luke Short Westerns as a kid, along with Robert Heinlein and others. I really got into becoming one with the characters. I think some of us really do imagine ourselves as being the protaganist and begin thinking of what we would do differently...

You writers already know this about some of us readers I am sure, or you wouldn't tolerate our comments. Tricky ones like HDK and Ohio can get us rather aroused at times.

Because there was too much fighting. That happens with children and perhaps teenagers, but never with middle age educated men.

HDK,

You are still the top story teller, that regardless of any of the naysayers. As for the too much fighting comments by some of the folks, they probably never saw the "Quiet Man" (John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara). Anyway, good stuff.

Matt

HDK

I just realized that this story is a remake of one youwrote a long time ago. Am I wrong?

Matt

Instead of dismantling the story, I'll cut right to the chase...I enjoyed it, HDK.

One of my favorite films is the "Quite Man", MM.

And yes, Wornock, middle aged educated men do fight.

...in the first four paragraphs, you introduced eight people, one right after another. I got lost right there, figuring there would be no way I could then follow the story.

What was describe in this story is completely plaus9ble and does happen - way too often -

Educated men have the same egos and drives uneducated men do - and most of us are more then willing to do what we have to to protect family and honor - that does not require us to succeed - defending your honor means doing what you have to not necessarily winning -

DWornock likes to talk shit, and belittle writers from all the comments of his/hers doesn't even have the guts to admit to that, maybe their head is so far up their ass all the time, all they know how to speak about is shit!

HDK, another great story

and families stick like glue. TK U MLJ LV NV

She stopped her husband from giving Sean a well deserved beating, and as a result her husband almost got knocked out while never laying a hand on Sean. Then he apologizes to his wife? Whoa. And no, Jason wouldn't have beaten the guy to death. It takes more than one or two punches to do that.

the husband gets punched in the face and tells his wife he's sorry for defending her honor. I just don't get the husband saying he's sorry when he wasnt wrong.

Nothing the least erotic in here.

For cases like this there's "Non-Erotic" here on LIT.

Bummer.

-AJ

I loved all of it. I can tell you, that being a man cursed most of his life with a temper and the skills to back it up, my wife can calm me down with a word, so I can relate. As to the haters below, the "burn the bitch" crowd, kill the cheaters, etc, they do not live in the real world, and obviously do not understand the love of a good wife or the strength of a tight family. I feel sorry for them. You wrote an excellent story. Well done.

almost beyond belief. If Kate was such a good soul, why not tell Jason about what Ann was going to do and have him go with her especially if she was going to confront Sean. And Jason is a pussy wimp. Any man who hits me first is going to get hit back the same number of times, wife in the way or not.

Semofunc is right...i would have beaten the shity out of that guy.

Excellent tale that kept me on the edge of my seat. You told it so well I am amazed at the detail you were able to squeeze into two pages. That takes skill. Five stars!

Well written! Great writer great story 5 5 5 stars!

5* from me; great story!

HDK no stars

But most construction guys would have jacked him up before Kate got in the way. It would only have taken a shot or two. I liked Rose best!

She claims she and Pat knew all about Sean`s plans after the card game, and decided to avoid him after that night. Then why did she belittle Jason that night? Why did she talk down to him as "only a simple mason"? Why did she go out of her way to defend Sean, and take his word over her husband? If she was telling the truth, and was really avoiding Sean, then she would have told her husband that he was right, and would have been bad-mouthing Sean. But she never did that. If as she says, she and Pat "Got the seduction dance, and had to struggle to hide their contempt", then she would have told Jason that he was right about him, and put his mind to rest. It is also suspicious that she said she only stayed alone with a proven pussy hound in a motel room for all that time "To negotiate his leaving the company". That kind of negotiation would have to take place in the office, not a sleazy motel room. She says Ann was long gone? We only have Kate`s word that Ann was even there! We only have Ann`s word that she didn`t fuck Sean herself! After all, her family looks down on Jason, and would easily cover for her and lie to protect her from divorce, as a divorce would be very expensive to the firm. Why was she protecting Sean at the party? Why did she prevent her husband from hitting him, yet she held his arms as Sean swung away at her husband, and did nothing to interfere! She seemed more worried about Sean that her husband.

Why did Sean IMMEDIATELY attack Jason as soon as he met him at the party? If Kate`s story was true, then Sean wouldn`t even have been at he party! He had no reason to hit Jason. Why didn`t Tim attack Sean well before that? Why let Sean come to the party, and do nothing for the whole time before Jason got there? If the story about his best friend fucking his wife were true then surely he would have done something during all the hours of the party before Jason`s arrival. The whole scene seemed staged for the benefit of Kate`s 'simple' husband.

My second time through. Thanks.

I'm surprised they let that guy live, I guess us Irish folk are getting soft

I realize that whatever happened in the story was in the author's world. Kate might be perfectly innocent. But even if she is, meeting with Sean at a hotel was an incredibly stupid thing to do. Did she ever consider how it might look? Did she ever consider that even if she had the best of intentions he might force himself on her anyway? If he's going to lose his position in the company anyway he might decide he doesn't care anymore. For a supposedly intelligent individual her behavior was stupid and downright suspicious. I don't trust her, nor do I relate to her.

I don't like to impose my own preconceptions on characters in someone else's story. I realize it's impossible not to. I find that Kate's behavior runs entirely contrary to the conclusion of the story.

think i like this more each time i read it. THANKS

monkeyboy, calm down before you annoy your cell mates. From your tantrum it is as I have suspected. You lack the testiculars to fight a man but you are ready to viciously assault every female who has the misfortune to be within reach of your fists.

Rose is the best character in this story, maybe the best in this genre!

One of the best stories ever

Kate should have a divorce comming her way.

She took Tim and Seans side after the game, and then spending time

beeing alone in a motel room with her Ex, after her husband told her everything.

a Bitch with no thought about her hubands feelings

loved it, even threw in mom for good measure. nice job.

And, yes she did take the other guys side against her husband. believed him over the man she was married to. If nothing else she needs to have the shit slapped out of her. If he lets that slide he is fucked in that "marriage" and I use the term loosely. At no time was he in the wrong or was he rude, but his bitch wife attacks him with that passive-aggressive, if you loved me how could you bullshit. time for him to hit the road. that kind of aggravation doesn't belong in a relationship.

Story or not, that is unacceptable behavior. I can't believe the HDK gets off pissing off all his readers that much. Bye Bye now.

It looks like Kate saved her lover Sean from a severe ass-whooping.

Spent time alone with him in a motel room.

Took his side against her husband more than once, including while Sean was physically striking Jason.

It's kerb, not curb, you ignoramus.

The previous commenter insists that it is "kerb" and not curb. He's obviously not American, and that's fine, but my Microsoft Word does not even recognize "kerb" as a word. It's a cute little colloquialism used in certain English speaking countries, but to call someone ignorant for using American English when they are an American really reflects on the anonymous commenter, and they're always anonymous, aren't they?

Well played even if Sean got off without the beating he deserved. Entertaining story.

I thoroughly enjoyed it. But sometimes the comments are just TOO funny! Curb? Really? I'll never understand anyone blasting an author over a single word. To what end? I get bringing to an authors attention when their overall spelling or word usage is a complete disaster all the way through a story. But one word and you're an idiot? Like I said - too damn funny!

First by the delightful story (favorited, of course). I'm more of the Don type but I'm enough of a romantic to believe most men would believe they would be Jason in the situations portrayed.

But more so that you still read the comments.

All the complaints stated in the comments are accounted for if only one reads the story for what it is. Rose must have heard from Kate or Tim about the poker game episode and how Kate handled out Hero's anger when he got home, thus the surprise she showed bailing Sean's slimy ass before our Hero pounded to a pulp. This is a well done story. The only thing I see missing is Papa Joe's shame from Rose about his initial disappointment to our Hero marring his daughter.

Since it was his and Rose's 50th anniversary some sort of acknowledgement should have been made to our Hero to make his day and the story complete in the end.

BrickDaddy

If Kate and Pat had already had the "seduction dance" from Sean before the poker game, why did Kate pooh-pooh Jason's concerns and accuse him of over-reacting?

And why didn't Jason tell her, if you don't believe me, ask Don?

All wannabe lotharios , like Sean, should be put out of their misery. I didn't mean kill him, just getting rid of him. This tale shows the real meaning of true love and family and how all stick together. One thing though, Jason should have been given the chance to really beat the crap out of the prick asshole Sean.

Don't mind me. It's just the South Philly in me coming out.

Excellent story. This should happen to the predators in these stories more often than occurs. Keep up the excellent writing. Moral of the story:You don't hurt me or mine.