Don't Use Jargon Pt. 01

We walked outside and I hoisted her to my shoulders, the dress falling to both sides. "Put me down, you devil."

I marched us over to Emily's and called for them to come out. "This one is kidnapping me on a hot tub search. We will be back for lunch."

Margo's crotch was warming the back of my neck, which we both knew. As I walked to the truck, she said, "You are going to smell of me."

I opened the passenger door and eased her in.

As we drove out to the highway, I asked, "If one of the salespersons smells you on me, what will they think?"

She giggled and covered her eyes. "Oh god, Mickey, they are going to think your mouth has been on me."

"And?"

"I should beat you. They are going to think we need a hot tub so we can have wild sex under the full moon."

"Exactly. Now kiss me and smile."

She was still giggling when we arrived at the first pool and spa place. Acres of not very attractive plastic. A saleswoman approached, smiling, "How can I help you this morning?"

Margo put on a sexy voice and said, "He promised me a hot tub for an engagement present."

I tried to keep a straight face as the woman explained features and prices. It seemed the price depended a lot on how many jets and other fancy features you wanted.

"My girl and I have a place in the trees on the edge of town and want something simple that blends into the woods. Do you have any old fashioned wood tubs?"

"There is not much demand for those, but come along to the back and I will show you what we have."

There it was. Beautiful redwood and just right for four people. Plumbing connections at the side and bottom.

"There is no heater supplied but we can sell you one separately. Needs its own pad and electrical cable."

Ten minutes later, Margo's hand was around my neck and her lips pressed to mine. "Mickey," she breathed, "we are going to have the greatest time in that tub. Thank you so much." Her tongue promised many delights in the tub under Emily's pine trees.

"I suppose if we are engaged, my privileges with the others are cut off?"

"If you get that hooked up by next weekend, you can have all the privileges you want."

We both knew Emily and Caitlin were not about to give me up, but it was fun pretending. I wondered if the pretend engagement would turn into a real one.

Emily was delighted and called the spa store with her credit card information instantly. After she hung up, I was pressed down in the sofa with her warm body on top. "If you are still willing to install the tub, I know an electrician who will do the wiring and keep you from being electrocuted." Her lips were teasing and her bottom wiggled on me.

"Emily, you are making me all hard again. This has to stop." My fingers slipped in the opening of her blouse and found a firm boob to massage.

Margo and Cait arrived. "Look at this. She's flirting again."

"I am. He is strong, sexy, and does hot tub installations."

After a wonderful lunch, I was taken to the site for the hot tub, and a printout of web instructions for building a pad for the tub thrust into my hands. I protested, "Don't I need to prepare for the first day of class tomorrow?"

Cait said, "Don't be a wimp, all that tree duff has to be cleared down to firm soil. We are going to the lumber supply for concrete and piers, and plumbing parts. I have the list from the hot tub place with me."

Four hours later, six precast piers were sitting in eighteen inches of fresh posthole concrete. Strings with little bubble levels on them showed everything was the same elevation. My back hurt like crazy. The women were smiling and hosing me down, right out in the open.

"Mickey, you are our hero. Margo is finishing some notes for your class, and Emily is fixing a steak dinner. Come and sit on the porch and I will bring you a tall margarita." Cait thought my slavery on behalf of the tub was noble, and funny as well. She tipped the glass to my lips and followed with a hot kiss. "You are big and strong and lovable too."

I groaned. "I didn't realize I have to work for my loving."

"You've never had such a good deal. Three different women to choose from."

I pulled her to my lap for another kiss. "You should be feeling good. Your grand plan for escape from Oregon is happening."

She whispered in my ear, "Mickey, you are the best brother a girl ever had. I never would have got here without you." She sat straight and poked me. "And you finally gave in too!"

I buried my head in her bosom and licked. She giggled and pulled my head up. "We are just trouble, aren't we?"

After a wonderful dinner, Emily applied more kisses and turned me over to Margo, saying that she would worry about the rest of the hot tub details so I could pay attention to teaching. Margo dragged me back to our room and thrust the lesson plan for tomorrow in my hands while she went to do her teeth and get ready for bed.

"Get out of those clothes and get in here with me, it is chilly. You can fall asleep now and we will get up early for more study." When she climbed in a few minutes later, I was out.

It was barely light at 4:30, but her hands were in my hair and her teeth fastened to the back of my neck. The length of her warm body pressed alongside mine felt special.

I whispered, "What about anatomy study?"

One hand slipped to my front and squeezed hard. "You males have no capacity for waiting, do you? Get close to a woman and you are off to the races."

I growled fiercely and forced her to her knees beneath me. Now it was my teeth that were fastened. My hands that were cradling her boobs.

"I'm letting you off this time, but may attack at any moment!"

She pushed me off the bed, laughing, "Mickey, it is such fun to have a man after me again. Emily asked if we are paired up for real?"

A voice at the door asked, "Yes, Mickey, are you paired up with that blond bombshell for real?"

Caitlin didn't have a stitch on and pirouetted in front of us before leaping into Margo's arms with a squeal.

I left them playing and went to make coffee. A few minutes later, she nudged me, "Your girlfriend is hot stuff. We both came."

Her body now had clothes on, but I tickled anyway. "It is a terrible insult to my manhood to have women making out like that."

"Faker. If you didn't have to study, you would have been using that horrible cock on both of us."

I grabbed Margo's course notes and retreated to the living room. Soon a plate of scrambled eggs and a muffin appeared, delivered with a kiss. "I'm in love with you."

"Go away and let me study. I can't support a wife without a job."

I was getting ready to leave for school when Emily arrived. "Here is a note for Edith. It invites her for dinner on Sunday and says the hot tub should be working by then. "

I was feeling frisky and had her on my shoulders in a flash. "You trust me a lot, issuing invitations like that."

"Mickey, put me down. You can't be carrying the landlady around like this."

I danced and hopped and circled, finally flopping her into my arms with a hot kiss. "How did Cait and I luck out with you? When is the electrician coming?"

"If you put me down and go to work, I will call and make sure he shows today or tomorrow!"

An hour later, I was standing in front of a class of twenty-eight young people, asking them to each tell me a little bit about themselves to help me remember their names. Eric, Naomi, Pamela, Maria, Steven... It took more than a half hour, but they seemed happy and I enjoyed every minute.

Looking at the course syllabus, I said, "This is summer school English 101. We are going to be flexible because you have so many different reasons for taking the class. I have decided there must be a pop quiz to start us off on the right foot."

I looked up, waiting for the groans. No groans, just smiles. I said, "You have found me out already. By the way, since this is summer school and you actually want to be in this class, my name is Mickey. I don't answer to Mr. McCullough. The pop quiz is 250 words on what you would like to get out of the course, other than an A grade. Just put them on this desk when you are finished. I will be in the sun on the patio if you need to see me."

I was very relaxed, with my eyes closed, when a small female voice asked, "You seem very nice. Is Caitlin in the office your sister?"

I sat up and turned to her. Small body to go with small voice. Cute as could be. "Let me guess, you are taking this for advanced credits."

"Yes. I'm trying to improve my chances of getting into the University of Washington the year after next."

I dug deep and came up with her name, maybe. "You are Naomi Stevens?"

She laughed and sat up straight, "Very good, Mickey." Her laugh had a ring like a church bell.

She scrunched over closer and said, "You are not supposed to know this, but Edith is my aunt. She told me if I took the course from you, I would work very hard but have fun. Do you think that is right?"

"Fun? You are accusing me of teaching for fun?"

Caitlin and Margo appeared from nowhere with sandwiches and sat down. "Yes, he does have a lot of fun. He was an honors English major at Eugene, and can teach you a lot."

Naomi had a sandwich in her backpack, so we all munched and kept talking. She was a little intimidated by having both course instructors sitting next to her, but Caitlin said, "I'm only a year ahead of you and we will keep them from horrible teacher behavior. By the way, they are dating after only three days."

Naomi laughed and said, "Oh dear, I've been sitting here having a terrible crush and my hopes are dashed!" She waved her arms and gave Margo a kiss on each cheek.

Lunch broke up and we walked back to the office. I asked Margo, "How did your first session go?"

"Fine. There are two or three jocks with mush for brains, but I will get something out of them." She grabbed my arm, "You keep your hands off Naomi. She is smart as a whip and will probably be valedictorian."

I turned us around so I could push her against the wall, grabbing an ear in each hand so I could exercise control.

I made my voice low and male, "First, I don't hit on students, especially when they are adorable teenagers who may not even be legal. Second, if she is that smart, you have to help me fashion something meaningful for her in the course. Third, she is Edith's niece, so why don't you conspire with Emily to see if Edith will bring her to Sunday dinner."

I hadn't counted on the knee in my crotch, which had me doubled over with her hand karate chopping my neck.

Her voice was equally low, "I want a ring. A girl needs some defense from other predatory females, even the ones who don't know they are poaching."

"Ms. Halstrom, we seem to have survived our first class sessions. I recommend relaxation back at the ranch. Perhaps we can consult with the ladies there about jewelry."

She kept trying to punch me all the way to the truck. "I don't want a consultation. You are to drive me directly to McCarthy's on Main St." Her look tried to be tough but was worried around the edges. Was this latest guy actually going to give her a ring?

Sitting out front, I took her hand and kissed it. "You are not to think about money. Find one you like."

Her eyes teared up. "I'm not sure we should be doing this. I was sort of making a joke. Sort of."

"I don't think so. Let's go inside."

Ten minutes later, I had signed a complicated credit agreement and we were walking out. The ring fit perfectly the moment she tried it on. She couldn't stop looking down at it. "Oh god, Mickey, what have we done?"

I drove and Margo wiped her eyes. When we got home, Emily was in the yard with the electrician. Margo took the ring off and smiled, "Later, when Cait is here."

I changed and plunged into the digging for the underground electrical runs to serve the hot tub pump and heater. The electrician needed secure posts to mount his termination boxes and that kept me occupied until nearly five. By then, the two of us had armored waterproof cable stubbed out for the appliances, which were coming tomorrow or the next day.

I was standing under the hot water when three more bodies created a crowd. "Mickey, you are our hero. Teaching a class and doing the electrical all in one day." They soaped me and kissed me and flipped my equipment around. Toweling off, Emily said, "Mickey, I am old enough to need a proper martini on a special occasion like this. Will you do the honors?"

The roast was in the oven, so the ladies took seats on Emily's veranda, looking very nice in summer dresses. I raised my eyes at Margo, who nodded.

I raised my glass for a toast, looking around. The ring had very secretly appeared on Margo's finger and she slowly raised her glass in her left hand. I said, "To my dearly beloved Margo, who has consented to be my wife."

Only Emily and I got some gin out of the toast. Caitlin was too busy screaming and crowding around to see the ring. Then returning to pound on me. "You did it!"

Emily got up and made me sit next to Margo on the swing. We held hands and kissed. I felt sappy. Probably not for the last time in the marriage process. I whispered to Margo, "You should get Emily to be a bridesmaid."

"Yes, that is a terrific idea." The two of us stared at her until she said, "What?"

Margo said, "You are an eligible young woman and I would like you to be one of my bridesmaids."

Caitlin had another screaming fit. "Yes! Oh yes!"

I added, "What about Caitlin and Naomi? They are small enough to be flower girls."

Caitlin didn't have any screams left and collapsed in our laps. "A flower girl! Mickey, mom is going to go crazy!"

Cait and Emily made us stay in the swing until dinner was ready. Margo whispered to me, "Did we do this too fast? It's been less than a week since we met."

"You have my ring, I'm not giving you up."

"But I was having such a stupid fit about that gorgeous young girl..."

"Yes. A stupid fit. I was wondering what it would take to get a ring on you."

"Mickey! Stop being bad. We are supposed to be silly in love. At least for a day."

Cait heard us and hollered to Emily, "They have to be silly in love for a day."

As we entered the dining room, they hugged and kissed both of us. "You can be as silly as you want for as many days as you want!"

Later, we lay in bed, still smiling a lot. Cait came to the door and Margo motioned her in. "Come sit with us, flower girl."

I lifted the sheet and we had the tight body wiggling on us. "Gosh, this is really a good thing. You both needed a partner and now you have one."

After a bit of silence, "What about me? Will I find a partner?"

My always-in-charge sister was sobbing. "Mickey, what am I going to do!"

Four hands worked on her. "Sis, you made up the plan for coming here. We are still on plan. We have a new partner. A special partner. She loves both of us. No one is throwing you out of this bed..."

After a lot of kisses from both of us, she was asleep, right in the middle. Margo stuck her tongue at me and I turned out the light.

(cont'd in Part 2)