Doogie or Lil Doogie 01

"Alright Doogie, I found the running shoes that I wanted from this end of the mall, so did you want some shopping privacy before we head to the other end of the mall where I'll find the high-end sports shorts that I'm also wanting to buy while we're here? I mean, I can grab a soda or something in the food court, so?"

"Ethan, I don't even know what any of what you just said means. I mean, why would I shop around this end of the mall alone while you sit in the food court slurping on a soda? I mean, are you asking me to let you "babe" watch alone for a few minutes or what?"

"Listen Doogie, I'm not stupid or blind. I mean, while I was window shopping for running shoes, I mean, what were you window shopping for then? And just to cut to the chase, something in the Red Bag store window caught your eye and I'm pretty sure it wasn't the mannequin, although the Red Bag store does have some bad ass mannequins, so do you need a few minutes alone or not then? I mean, you can be Doogie or Lil Doogie or whatever, I just don't care, so."

Well, at least Ethan wasn't wrong about the famous Red Bag store mannequins, but still, right? I mean, he was calling me out! And I wasn't taking the bait!

"Well, we should just go to the other end of the mall now, Ethan. I mean, I've never been inside of the Red Bag store anyways, so."

"Alright Doogie, I'm just saying again, that I don't care and I don't talk much, so."

Now, I knew Ethan well enough to know that he is not a gossip and it made sense that we wouldn't care about what other people did, but still, right? If I broke rank and darted off into the Red Bag store, which I totally wanted to do, I mean, then he would know something for sure, right? And I had absolutely no proof that I could use the "I'm buying it for my girlfriend" excuse, so I felt that it was just best to carry on with our manly shopping adventure and go to the high-end department store for Ethan's shorts, so.

[Walk, walk, gaze, look, ugh, turn, break rank, swoosh, don't look back, disappear]

"Well, well, well, look who is back then! I told you that those teal butterfly undies weren't going to be right for you, so???"

"Well, shut it, Sandi. I mean, you're right, but only because of the mis-match with my skin tone. Wait, I mean, it's because I have so much more than the butterfly wings could contain, so."

"LOL, sure you do, Lil Doogie, who, LOL, isn't really Lil Doogie today. Anyways, what are you looking for today? We just got a new supply of our famous "boyfriend" undies that you could wear underneath a large array of other undies. And our flesh tone version might match up with your skin tone, not to mention that they are a nice blend of Lycra for containment and just a tad longer down the thighs, so?"

"Well, I mean, maybe, well, fine, but we need to be quick about it. I'm shopping with Ethan today and he's waiting for me in the road construction attire store, so. And put them in my shoe store bag so that I don't have to walk around with a red bag from the Red Bag store!"

"LOL, because nobody on the planet will believe that you're shopping for your girlfriend, Lil Doogie?"

Well, Sandi didn't have to say all that! I mean, I already said it anyways, so. Besides, the shoe store bags are huge anyways and there was more than enough room underneath my box of new high tops, so.

And that walk to the other end of the mall, right? It felt like everyone in the mall was looking at me like they knew what was hidden in my shoe bag! I mean, of course, it was just paranoia, but still, right? It was as if the red bag from the Red Bag store was just noticeable through the white bag from the shoe store. But I made it to the high-end department store and began my search in the men's department for Ethan.

Anyways, hey there, I'm Doug on paper, I'm Doogie on the streets and I'm Lil Doogie occasionally, but never in such a public setting especially while with an old friend like Ethan. Even though it just sounded like he knew something about and didn't care, but that fact was that all I had was my daily fem undies and the frosted tips in my hair, so technically, I was shopping at the mall with Ethan as Doogie, which kind of pissed me off once he said what he said about my window-shopping wandering eye, so.

Anyways, Ethan likes his fancy sports running shorts. I mean, LOL, I've known him to buy two pairs of the same knee length shorts before. One for actually running in and one for his social time. I've also come to know Ethan as one who takes way too much time deciding on which short's he likes better, even though the actual differences are minimal because that's how guy's clothes work, but it's fun to watch his face as he holds them up and stares at them.

Which was my que to interject and get the ball rolling.

"The yellow lightning bolts to the left are cool, Ethan and the shorts are a nice color of blue, so."

"Oh, there you are, Doogie, and yeah, these are nice and all, but I'm right leg dominate, so I think the completely different other pair with the yellow lightning bolts to the right are more of my style then, so."

"Well, if you buy them both, then you can run in the bolts to the right and then socialize in the bolts to the left and mess with everyone's mind, not to mention that we could stop by the Super Hero store to try and find a couple of t-shirts with lightning bolts on them or something."

"Ooh, I like all that idea, Doogie, but look here, these stye of long leisure running shorts have numbers instead of S, M, X or XL, so?"

"34 - 36."

"Well, that was a fast response from you, Doogie."

"Trust me or test me then, Ethan. There are dressing rooms right there."

Well, I knew I was right. I mean, I've known Ethan for a while and his size is quite obvious. I mean, he's pretty fit and that's where most 22 years old guys who stay fit fall. I mean, not me, of course.

"Well Doogie, apparently, you don't trust me then if you're just going to slip slide into the dressing room with me then, huh?"

"Push me out or close the door then, Ethan. Just be quick about it either way."

[Door closes, woo, a tight fit, LOL, in the dressing room, not with the shorts]

"Well, there's probably not much difference between the sizes anyways, but the 34 -- 36 size feels nice around my waist, so."

"I agree [swish, swoosh, adjust waistband, swish], Ethan."

"Um, are we done then in this little dressing room, Doogie?"

"We are, Ethan, but listen, do your girlfriends ever say anything about all this body hair?"

"Oh, over the years, some have and some have not, so."

"Yeah, but Ethan, I mean, this is what a normal guy looks like then?"

"Well, this is what I look like when someone helps me try on running shorts the way you just did, Doogie, so."

"Well, over the years, I guess your girlfriends have been pleased then, so."

Well, I asked and he answered, so we were done. I mean, LOL, I played the super spy to peek out of the dressing room door to make sure we could both exit without being noticed, but we were done. Until we stood in the checkout line, LOL.

Oh, and yes, it was the first one I had witnessed in real life and I'm sure that I was correct about his past girlfriends being happy, so.

"Ahem! Cash or charge? And next time, one person per dressing room, please. We have cameras and one of the monitors is right here next to my cash register, so. But I'm not saying anything because of how quick things went, so."

Oh, so, LOL, Ethan just clams up when he's called out then? Like when a very attractive check out girl checks him (and me) out on the store security camera? I mean, I gave the camera a quick backwards hand flip and all as a nice gesture as I snuck into the dressing room anyways, so.

"He'll charge it, um, Andi, from your name tag, everything was totally appropriate. Well, mostly appropriate and you can verify that for yourself by noticing that he still has a boner, a boner that would keep you quite happy, I might add. I mean, he carries a little too much body hair in my opinion, but if you don't mind a little fur rubbing back and forth and up and down your alabaster skin and with you responding with screaming and whimpering with pure sexual pleasure, then add your phone number on the receipt for Ethan and call me out if you can proof me wrong about being pleasured, so."

"Well, I mean, well, um, I'll just slide his credit card and um, I mean, well, I'm very nice about things and I wouldn't call you out anyways, but thanks for noticing my skin tone and all, I mean, alabaster skin you say then, right?"

"I'm Doogie, he's Ethan and you're Alabaster Andi, who is only a few dates into a relationship, so getting to know Ethan, who is single, wouldn't kill you, Alabaster Andi, so."

Oh, no, Ethan was still frozen in place, LOL. Also, LOL, girls get fluster and sweat a little then? And I mean that in the best way. I mean, Ethan is a stud with very classical facial lines, so.

"[Flustered and just sweating] Whew, I mean, the receipt is in the bag and he doesn't need to test call because it's my real number and ah, um, I mean, are you sure he brought the sizes or the right style of shorts then?"

"Alabaster Andi, I have something in my shoe bag that I would like to wear, so do you mind if I leave you two alone for a few minutes and use one of the dressing rooms?"

Now that was what I called customer service! I barely finished what I was saying before she personally escorted me to the same dressing room that I just exited and yep, she had Ethan in tow with her other arm, so hey there folks, I'm Lil Doogie the match maker!

But I'm not Lil Doogie the voyeur. I mean, dressing room walls were not designed to be sound proof and I could tell that, well, I mostly heard Ethan moaning, so I had assumed that Alabaster Darla was doing most of the work. Not that I had my ear to the paper-thin wall as I stripped down to slip on my new "boyfriend" style undies, which were everything that Sandi from the Red Bag store said they would be!

They fit like the skin on a grape and they felt so tight, oh so tight and that little extra length down the thigh was perfect for me! I mean, on some days and with certain shorts or pants, LOL, double undies were going to be left in the rearview mirror!

But it was time to go. I mean, I wear the undies every day, but things were getting a little warm from all of the things that had been happening around me and without being fully dressed, LOL, I actually began to feel weird about things. I mean, without the clothes and the makeup, I was a fish out of water, so, LOL, it was my turn to take Ethan by the arm and walk him out of the department store. Which probably didn't look very good, so I quickly released his arm.

"What the hell just happened then, Doogie?"

I mean, I'm sure he didn't intend for me to start from the very beginning, LOL, but I did!

"Well, it all started with the way that I adjusted your new running shorts on you in the dressing room and then it went to the way I ran my fingers through all of that body hair that you have as things go south and then your man rod responded to all that and then the cashier called us out from the stores security cameras and then I pointed out your fat boner to her to let her know that I was innocent and then I pumped you up and reminder her that her alabaster skin would enjoy being trapped under your amazing and fit body as long as she could handle your body hair and then she caved in and put her number on your receipt and then you blinked your eyes and then we all ended up in side by side, but separate dressing rooms and then I think I listened to my first blow job and I'm positive that I learned how a man should moan when he's being pleasured and then I changed into my new "boyfriend" style undies and spit on the ground for not being properly dressed because I was afraid to go shopping with you as Lil Doogie and now we're in your car and I think I'm learning about how quickly men can recover and I think that just about covers it, so."

"So, Doogie, we're cool then, right? Just another day at the mall, right?"

"Oh, we're cool, Ethan, but if you're thinking that your urges right now need the services of a Lil Doogie because you're getting re-energized, well, I'm not that way, so. Besides, I'm not dressed and even I'm feeling a little strange about things right now, so."

"No, no, I get that, Doogie, but I mean, um, Andi did make mention of your assessment that I could use a little manscaping, so?"

"Alright Ethan, this convo is over. Look, for me, it's what I do and it's a huge pain in the ass, but to help out someone else, well, that's sex and I just said it, I'm not that way."

"Oh, but you can adjust my shorts like you did in the dressing room then?"

Damn! That stupid goose and gander thing, right?

But I won out. I mean, every time he turned his head to talk or look at me, well, there I was next to him as Doogie the dude and not Lil Doogie, the little duckie, so that all ended well.

Except for in my mind that I vowed to never hide Lil Doogie ever again! Well, not all the time and I swear, there is no way in hell that I would get involved with any manscaping project, but I knew that Lil Doogie was on his way out of the closet sooner than later, so.

End Doogie or Lil Doogie 01