All Comments on 'Dose of Maya Ch. 01'

Wonderful beginning! Very unique writing style, and it is decently easy for the reader to catch the personalities of the two characters.

The only suggestion I have is to cut some of the descriptive elements. It would be better to have precise and fluid descriptions of the scene that do not take the attention away from the main story

Hey Anon. Thanks for the feedback, appreciate it. I will keep that in mind while writing future chapters. But I can't change that in the second chapter because I have posted that on another site already. I think I have reduced the descriptive elements in Chapter 3 onwards. But there will be descriptions when we reach the mind control chapter, it is unavoidable. I will try as much as I can to not pull attention away from the story. Thanks again.