Dr. Cocktopus vs Wonder Amazon

I stood panting for breath as I watched the battered remains of the robot fall to the ground with the creaking sound of metal on metal. Sparks and the occasional flame shot from the hole where its head had been. What even was that thing I thought to myself as I tried to catch my breath.

It had been a 12 foot tall, black, metal, skeletal android holding a flamethrower and an oversized MP 40 Schmeisser. I picked up its metal head, welded onto it was an oversized World War II German helmet with a spike sticking out of the top. The robot had swastikas painted on its chest and armband like swastikas painted to its arms. I had just been attacked by a giant Nazi robot.

It had been. Now it was a flaming pile of scrap metal.

The question had been raised before, was my great grand father a super villain. He was clearly an evil villainous man, but was he a Super. Showing up at the site of what had allegedly been his evil lair back in the 1930s and immediately getting attacked by freakish Nazis super science experiments reaffirmed that he was involved in some really messed up stuff. Sort of like someone's grandmother dying peacefully in her sleep, her family opening her dresser drawer the next day only to find it full of dildos and black leather bondage gear...

A thought entered my head. When I was a kid and grandma gave me those homecooked cookies, was she really smiling because she was wearing a butt plug.

It's just not a mental image that anyone wants.

Okay, my mother was the minor villain and anti-hero Tickled Pink for a few years back in the 1970s before giving the mantle up to become a full time mother. It didn't prove that my great grand father was also a villain or that I was some how really his clone, my mother being artificially inseminated Rosemary's Baby Style as part of some sick plot to bring him back from the dead.

I was lost in thought when I felt Wonder Amazon's truth lasso coil around me. With a tug of the rope I was yanked off my feet."Dr.Cocktopus. Back from the dead. I should have known. Tell me what your fiendish plans are?" She smiled.

"I'm not Dr.Cocktopus." I protested.

"Wrist-puter, analyze DNA." She spoke into her glowing wristband.

"Supervillain known as Dr.Cocktopus." A mechanical voice chimed.

"The trust lasso compels you to get naked. Perhaps naked truth will reveal your plan and how you lied to my face." Wonder Amazon looked at me gravely, deep concern in her voice.

She was large, dark haired, and well muscled in a sexy sort of way. I had read the comic book stories of her as a kid, I had always had sort of a crush on her. I babbled about my crush on her as I stripped off, almost as if I was in a trance. She was wearing a knee length skirt made of strips of fabric and a breast plate.

I heard laughter over a loudspeaker. "I knew you would come Wonder Amazon! We must engage in amorous congress at once or the hostages get the big sleep!" It sounded almost like my voice but it was scratchy, like some old 1920s record player. "Choose quickly! Slip my staff of life into your chalice of purity or I'll pop off the hostages!"

I looked closely at the loudspeaker. It was so old it was caked in a thick layer of dust. "Give me your word you'll release the hostages." She ran her glowing wristband over the side of armor. With a click the sides parted as she slipped the armor over her head. I always assumed she wore a bra or something under it, she didn't. Her large heavy breast bounced out. I gasped at the sight of her purplish areolas and the long hard nipples that were pointing at me accusingly.

The loud speaker continued. "Put those nippers on, Wonder Amazon! I got a chopper squad who will do in all the hostages." The old record player jumped, likely from all the dust. "...the fuzz will get some of the same if..." the record player jumped again.

"There are no hostages, it's an old record from the 1920s."

"Correction. A clone of Dr.Cocktopus. Born no earlier than 1972." Her wrist-puter chimed.

Both of her hands shot over her chest as she struggled to cover herself. "Oh..."