All Comments on 'Dragons'

Not really a story is it.

This is a nice scene, and well written, but it needs to be expanded to be a story. Good use of dialog to provide information and some very nice story hooks (which provide directions this could be expanded):

*Dragon king who becomes a little boy? How/why did that happen?

*Why is Parker chosen to become a dragon?

*How does Parker get used to being a dragon?

*Is this (conversion to dragon) something exceptional ("experi--oops"?) Why are they experimenting?

Lots of ways to take it, but it does need to go somewhere. I see that you instinctively understood that the scene you wrote wasn't enough, so you added an Epilogue. But the epilogue is unsatisfying because it doesn't give us the emotional connections that your scene led us to want. I hope to see more from you!

part of a story you were making up as you went along, whilst telling it to your child at bedtime. Not that there is anything wrong with that persay, but to get it then into written form, takes quite a bit bit more work than you 've managed on this, so far.

Unique concept for this site, but it needs MUCH more development in order to reach its potential. Thanks!

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