Dreams of Flying

[Note: This story takes place in oneagainst's Wonderland as part of the Midnight at the Lost And Found event that takes place during the story Only Consenting Adults.

For more about the Lost and Found and adventures in the Wonderland universe, see oneagainst's story page here.]

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When Dawn dreamt, she dreamed of flying.

There's a moment at the top of a leap, when you've pushed off with your feet and you reach that single instant where gravity and momentum are in perfect opposition. A fraction of a heartbeat where all the forces are pulling on you in harmony to balance and cancel each other out.

Dawn had loved that sensation, even as a child, spending her summers leaping from the ledge at the top of the waterfall into the icy cold pool below. She learned to tumble and spin, trying to increase the length of time that feeling would last before plunging into the water, feeling the buoyancy of the cool water taking over in its own imitation of weightlessness. She would dive from the top again and again, until her body ached and her feet grew numb from the cold.

When Dawn dreamed, she dreamt of flying. When the dreams were good dreams, she dreamt of being free of the burden of gravity, of sparkling motes of sunlight dancing on the water far below her, and the sensation of floating in the sky as if she would never fall.

When the dreams were good dreams.

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Dawn awoke to the late afternoon sun shining through a thin crack in the curtains, casting the room with a soft orange glow. The warmth of the heated towels warmed her back, and the room was filled with the soft scent of sandalwood from the massage oil that still anointed her skin and the sound of a bubbling brook playing gently over a portable speaker. She lay still on the bed, not wanting to try moving her limbs for fear of shattering the illusion of post-massage relaxation and sensation of lightness, as if her whole body might just float away if it weren't for the towels weighing her down.

In the other room she could just make out the sounds of Kai getting ready to go out this evening. She was always surprised at how silent Kai could be for someone as tall and broad as he was. She would joke that he moved like a cat stalking its prey and he would smile that confident smile of his in return and call her his 'little bird'.

It was that smile that first attracted her to the big Hawaiian; his easy-going attitude and quiet confidence was at odds with her own focused and perfectionist nature at the time. He had been a member of the surfer clique while she was studying on a scholarship for diving, and they bonded over a love of water, life, and the outdoors. They were complimentary in many ways, each supporting the other in ways they didn't know they lacked. She helped him get direction; he helped her let go. It had been a good match, and they had grown from friends, to friends-with-benefits, to whatever they were now.

It had never been an official relationship; the timing had never quite provided an opportunity for that, but they were comfortable with a loose unattached arrangement, drifting in and out of each other's company as work and life and other commitments allowed. He had been with her at her best, when she had been on the competitive dive circuit, waiting for the days between meets and competitions, never putting more pressure on her to be more available between her training sessions and travel. He had been there at her worst, in the aftermath of having to give up diving, when she needed him constantly and spent entire days crying in his comforting arms. And now, here he was, putting their bags together for their last evening out at the private club that had changed them both and had come to mean so much to them; the Lost and Found was closing down and they were heading out for one last night of the peculiar freedom that only existed inside its doors.

Dawn raised her hands to her eyes to wipe them of the unshed tears that had silently formed there while she had been sleeping. The door latched quietly behind Kai as he gently slipped into the room.

"Good, you're awake," he observed in his gentle baritone. "Did you sleep well?"

Kai, more than anyone, was aware of the fact that Dawn's sleep wasn't always restful.

"Mmhmm," Dawn replied in an affirming manner, still not quite willing to let go of her post-massage relaxed stupor. She was comfortable, and warm, and in the company of the person who most made her feel at peace. She wasn't quite ready to give any of that up.

Kai parted the curtains slightly and looked out at the setting sun. "We'll need to go soon if we want to get there early enough to get a place to sit. It's probably going to be busier than usual tonight."

Dawn lightly stirred. "I know. Just give me a minute," she groaned. She didn't want to move, just to pretend for a moment that she could lie here forever if she wanted, never needing to move from this bed.

Kai sat down beside her and rested his hand on her shoulder. She felt the weight of it, so strong and heavy against her skin. Her stalking tiger.

"Did you want to get dressed here?" he asked. "It might be easier than doing it at the club."

Dawn paused, then nodded. "Makes sense," she said, sounding more certain than she felt. "It will be easier to slip into while I'm still a little slick from the massage oil."

Kai leant down and kissed her on the temple. She gasped his hand with hers, fingers interlaced together, then held on as he helped her up into a sitting position. He smiled at her, that quiet, confident smile and for a moment the stirring butterflies in her stomach went still.

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When Dawn dreamt, she dreamed of flying.

They weren't always good dreams. Sometimes, the sparkling light before her wasn't the sun reflecting up from the water beneath her, but instead floated before her vision in slow motion, like dancing crystals suspended in sunlight at the moment of weightlessness before gravity had a chance to snatch at them. This didn't make the dreams bad dreams; so long as the crystals stayed there, frozen in the moment, nothing bad would happen at all.

These were the nothing dreams, where she just hung there forever, suspended in midair, watching as the dancing crystals of light turned over and over, neither rising or falling. They didn't bother her, not so long as gravity never caught up and the crystals never started to fall.

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Dawn slowly opened her eyes to gaze through the rear passenger window of the car. The sky had changed from a rich crimson to a deep purple, but had not yet taken on the dark tones of night. Kai was driving, focused on the road and listening to an inoffensive dance/rock playlist. She usually found it difficult to relax on prolonged car journeys, notwithstanding the increasing anxiety she would normally experience building towards this evening's activities, but something about Kai's presence and the earlier massage had enabled her to drift into a light sleep. The massage had been Kai's suggestion, wanting to make the evening a special night, but also knowing that she would be much more comfortable throughout the evening if she started in a slightly relaxed state. In the periphery of her awareness she was also conscious of the outfit she wore under her coat, the enveloping pressure applied taut and evenly over body like a constant gentle embrace. The more at ease she felt, the better this evening would be, and so she passed the remaining journey staring out the window watching the day's last light beyond the confines of her current conveyance.

Her view of the sky became increasingly obstructed the closer they got to their destination, as the buildings and storefronts grew taller and larger the further they travelled into the city. Eventually they reached the allocated parking spots at the rear of the club and Kai pulled in. She gathered herself as she regarded the tall brownstone and metal doors of the club while he got out to open her door and help her down onto the sidewalk.

They had first come here almost a year ago in the midst of rebuilding her life, working out who she was in the aftermath of diving being lost to her, all the things she could and couldn't now do in the freedoms and constraints of her new reality. The dreams had been bad then, but Kai had been her rock and pushed her to explore the possibilities that she never had time for during competition. It was on that basis she had brought them here, to the Lost and Found. It spoke to something she had always had a vague curiosity towards but never indulged, but it was the name that had caught her attention and made up her mind. She was keenly aware of having lost who she was, and very much wanted to find who she was now. It was a journey she was still undertaking, but some of the first meaningful steps had happened here, inside this building.

Kai sent a message to let the staff know they were here, and one of them - Estelle? - opened the rear entrance door for them, a small accommodation reserved for special friends and guests who might need to avoid using the front entrance for whatever reason. Dawn thought of their time here in this place as they passed through the back corridor to the main lounge, presumably for the last time.

There was so much that could have gone wrong that first night. They had no real idea of what they were doing or what they were after, but they had chosen wisely with the Lost and Found. They had been nervous at first, but the people they talked to had been generous and accepting. Curiosity was the reason so many first came to the Lost and Found, after all. They were given the name of someone to talk to, and had met her late in the night. The woman was tall, beautiful, and graceful in a way that reminded Dawn of classic era Hollywood starlets; a few years older, but what struck Dawn most was the sense of her presence and personality. She had a way of making you feel simultaneously drawn in and yet also the only one in the room with her. She was intelligent and insightful, but also measured and considerate. Their talk had lasted well into the morning, and into the week beyond via email and messages with questions and reflections that had searched and challenged Dawn's own sense of self-identity. She had been able to extract more from Dawn in a few hours of honest, unguarded conversation than some therapists had managed in months of appointments, and though some of it had touched on raw subjects, Dawn had never felt like she was being asked more than she could give, and so somehow ended up sharing even more of herself than she knew. When they next returned to the club a month later the woman was waiting for them, and that night Dawn was exposed to the first of many experiences that challenged her mentally and physically, and they had only progressed from there. Dawn knew she was not the woman's only confidant, but she was a pet project of sorts, and that was enough to feel special and favoured, in a way.

There was a reasonable crowd in the main room of the Lost and Found, despite the early hour. More than a few regulars (as well as a few irregulars) had come to see the club off on its final night, and the scene was set for the festivities. The theme was Mad Hatter's Tea Party, and a long central table was piled high with teapots, cakes, and cups. The rest of the room bore similarly themed decorations, and many of the crowd were done up as one or other of the inhabitants of Wonderland; near the table a schoolgirl Alice in suspenders, miniskirt, and knee socks and little else was chatting happily with a young gentleman in a tabard pronouncing him the 9" of Clubs, while at the bar a dark-skinned man whose bare chest was covered in glitter and rainbow bodypaint was blowing coloured smoke from a prop pipe while ordering drinks. There was a male White Rabbit with waistcoat and pocket watch and a female White Rabbit with bunny ears and fur bandeau, and in one of the booths a mixed couples party of Hatter's and Alice's seemed to be playing a variation of a game with impenetrable rules where every few minutes all the Hatter's swapped hats and then Alice's would all change whose lap they were sitting in to match.

Elsewhere amongst the crowd some were wearing - or not wearing, as the case may be - their usual attire for the club with little care for the theme, from sharp suits and cocktail dresses through to leather pants and catsuits. It was, in short, only marginally less uninhibited than a standard event evening at the Lost and Found.

Kai and Dawn made their way to one of the quiet tables at the back near the booths and settled in; here and there they spotted familiar faces in the crowd and they nodded and smiled acknowledgements to those they had become friendly with. They had been coming to the club for a while now and had come to know and swap stories with several folks with whom they shared interests. A few came over to say a quick hello; they would have a chance to chat later, but for now they were mostly left undisturbed as most knew they would be waiting for Dawn's mistress.

They were nearing the end of their first cocktail when Dawn noticed her approaching across the floor. Her classical beauty was unmistakable, and her outfit turned heads as she glided across the room. Tonight she had dressed for the occasion in a style somewhat reminiscent of 18th century French aristocracy, if the French had discovered latex. Her platinum blonde hair had been pulled back and styled into elaborate twin french braids that ran along the sides of her head and down behind her ears. A high-collared shoulder cape sat open over a dark blue latex corset, her prominent bust lifted and enhanced by the supporting garment. A handheld folding fan was attached to her wrist by a thin orange cord, equally capable of being held up before her to mask what she might want hidden, or possibly to strike with should the moment require it. At her waist she wore a powder-blue open-fronted bustle, which framed the mid-thigh black latex boots she wore on her lithe legs. The effect the exposed skin thigh and chest had on the audience was noticeable, and the crowd parted for her as she passed with more than a few lingering stares to take in her striking presence.

Trailing behind her by a thin chain leash and choker was a young dark-haired woman in a sheer white romper which did little to hide the black ribboned bikini brief lingerie set worn beneath. Her feet were padlocked into crimson stiletto ankle boots which were linked together by a short chain, forcing the ingénue to take short, slightly tottering steps in the wake of the taller woman. Dark eyeliner highlighted her youth and innocence, and her lips were stained red with the juice of the lollipop sticking out of her mouth. She was soft and curvy in a way that emphasised her femininity.

Dawn cast her eyes down as the woman reached their table, and began greeting her mistress as practiced.

"M-"

"Non," the woman cut in, "tonight, I am Duchess, and will be addressed accordingly," she stated, allowing no room for reply. "And this," she said, indicating the young woman with her, "is Baby."

The young woman attempted a curtsey, as best she could with her feet hobbled as they were. Dawn couldn't help but notice that while her Lady's eyes were on her, Baby's focus was fixed on Kai.

Dawn fought to clamp down a flutter of insecurity as she searched her memory for the correct form of address for a duchess. "Yes, my Lady; of course, my Lady."

The Duchess smiled and took a seat beside them both. The young woman knelt down at her side and teasingly licked at her lollipop, eyes still firmly fixed on the big Hawaiian.

Deep down, Dawn knew that Kai drew eyes wherever they went. He was tall, exotic, and handsome to the extent that he stood out even in this crowd of wild wardrobe and oiled bodies. He was not overtly muscular, but rather had the lean toned core of a surfer. Looks could be deceiving, however, because Dawn knew from experience that those arms were strong enough to pick her up and lift her entire bodyweight. Tonight he was dressed sharply, wearing a tailored grey suit vest over a wide collared shirt, the sleeves cuffed high on the forearm to expose the tattoo on his arm. He had clean shaven his usual stubble, and his calm confidence was giving off an aura of authority tonight that Dawn hadn't really noticed until now.

Kai welcomed the pair warmly and drained his glass before standing up.

"I'll head up and get started. It'll take a little while to get prepped and set up," he said, addressing Duchess.

"Of course," she replied, nodding her consent to depart. "Take Baby with you," she added, handing over the ingénue's leash, "she may be able to assist you."

Baby looked up and leaned towards Kai with undisguised hunger, twirling her lollipop in her lips.

Kai took the leash with a simple nod and coiled it in his hand; Dawn was somewhat taken aback by how effortlessly he accepted control of the young woman. Kai had of course been present for most of Dawn's encounters, but had mostly stayed on the periphery and generally limited his participation. This wasn't a scene, but the casual manner in which he took charge without hesitation took Dawn by surprise.

"Thank you. Should I send someone over to take a drinks order?" he asked the Duchess.

"Just send over a white wine. Armal knows my preferences," she replied.

"No problem," he answered, giving a gentle tug of the leash and turning towards the bar. The chain and choker were too light to be anything but cosmetic, but the young woman responded to the instruction with practiced poise. Dawn looked on in envy as Baby deliberately crawled after him on all fours a short distance before rising up and following after him with those small uneven steps.

She was aware that her earlier calm had been slowly ebbing from the building anticipation of the evening, but the shock of Kai's behaviour had struck her like the emotional equivalent of a splash of water to the face. That was partly the point, of course, but she was still taken aback by how simply and effortlessly Duchess had thrown her off balance. They had, at the very beginning, discussed boundaries and limits, but none of what they discussed extended to cover this situation. It had never even occurred to Dawn that this might happen. She swallowed hard as she watched the pair head to the stairs, so caught up in her own thoughts that it momentarily slipped her mind that Duchess was sitting beside her.

"Have you told him?"

"W-what?" Dawn stammered.

The older woman regarded Dawn with a knowing gaze.

"I think you mean 'What, madame Duchess?', or 'What, my Lady?'," the woman said reproachfully.

"Yes, my Lady; sorry, my Lady," Dawn replied, downcast.

"That's better." The woman leaned forward and gently stroked Dawn's cheek with one hand. "This evening will be much easier once you get into the right frame of mind," she said softly.

Dawn nuzzled towards the fingers on her cheek. She was vulnerable to the sensation of touch, and Duchess was a master of the art, knowing exactly how much to apply, how hard or soft, how often, and when. The Duchess applied mild pressure to force Dawn to stare into her piercing dark eyes.

"Now, have you told Kai how you feel? What you want?"

Dawn wanted to look away, but was held firm by the Duchess's hand.

"No, my Lady. I don't know what you mean," she demurred.

The Duchess's eyes scanned deeply into Dawn's own, evaluating. There was kindness there, as well as guidance. It was one of the things that most attracted Dawn to her at the beginning; that there was both warmth and concern as well as firmness and direction.