All Comments on 'Dreamworld'

Hmmm. It'll be hard to give you some constructive criticism, given the nature of the story. After all, in a dream, some inconsistencies are bound to happen, but I feel no matter how lazy/incompetent the main character is, he'd be doing more testing than he is. I enjoyed the story, but I'm left with a sense of it being incomplete in some way. I think the root of the problem is that not enough was explained in the setting, world building. I think that the story definitely has potential, but in its current form I wouldn't rate it any higher than 3.5/5. Even the sex scenes had a rushed feeling to them. If you flesh out the story line a bit more, I think it'll make a fantastic read.

Best of luck,

Dennis

Thanks for the feedback first and foremost. Also I do address those points in the next chapter. When I was writing this I was under the belief if I built the world too much it would take away from other aspects as it's an intro really. I guess I calculated wrong but hey thanks for your points and I'll pay attention on correcting them in the next installment.