All Comments on 'Dreamworld'

Thanks for the feedback first and foremost. Also I do address those points in the next chapter. When I was writing this I was under the belief if I built the world too much it would take away from other aspects as it's an intro really. I guess I calculated wrong but hey thanks for your points and I'll pay attention on correcting them in the next installment.

Hmmm. It'll be hard to give you some constructive criticism, given the nature of the story. After all, in a dream, some inconsistencies are bound to happen, but I feel no matter how lazy/incompetent the main character is, he'd be doing more testing than he is. I enjoyed the story, but I'm left with a sense of it being incomplete in some way. I think the root of the problem is that not enough was explained in the setting, world building. I think that the story definitely has potential, but in its current form I wouldn't rate it any higher than 3.5/5. Even the sex scenes had a rushed feeling to them. If you flesh out the story line a bit more, I think it'll make a fantastic read.

Best of luck,

Dennis