Drive Me Insane

"Fuck. There's, like, butterflies in my brain."

"You're a cheeseball." She grinned in between kisses.

"God. That was fun."

"It was! Thank you for the lovely evening."

"No. Thank you!"

She looked at me then gave me one last kiss before she got up to get dressed. I stared at her morosely as she put her skirt back on. I sat on the bed close to her as she started to put on her bra. I held her hips and rotated her so I could hook her bra on for her.

"Thank you."

I traced the tattoos of a couple of koi fish she had on her right lower back while she put her crop top on again.

She collected all her stuff while I hovered near the door.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Going to walk you to your dorm."

"Then who's going to walk you back?"

"Thunder and Lightning." I held up my fists.

She guffawed. "Whatever."

We walked through the dark campus. A light here and there suddenly threw us into an orange glow before the dark night swallowed us up again.

"Okay. Good night." I dropped her off at her door.

"Good night! Thanks for walking me home."

"Any time." I leaned in to kiss her one last time. "See you later, alligator."

"In a while, crocodile." She closed the door in my face.

Now what? It was three AM, and I felt strangely empty. It was the best night I'd ever had probably, and I didn't know what to do now.

She said it was a casual one-night thing, but I desperately wanted more. Damn it.

Man oh man! She was something else. I growled out roughly, hard enough to make my throat hurt.

----

It was seven AM that following Monday, and I was waiting for her with her hazelnut coffee.

"Hi!"

"Hi."

"So I was thinking about what you were saying about how languages shape your thought patterns, and wanted to ask you how that works for analytical languages, like pictograph based writing." I said excitedly, finally able to talk with her again.

"Uh -- I'm not sure. That's a good question though."

I slurped at my latte. "Did you finish your Baroque String Instruments essay?"

"Yep. Yesterday." She stared me down.

"What?"

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean? It's our little thing, you know? I get you coffee, you tell me what an immature child I am, I cheer you on in your Latin and Music classes." I put up a fist, waving it like a pom-pom.

"I assumed I wouldn't see you today." She kept walking.

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Because... wait! Because we slept together?"

"Yeah." She raised her eyebrows at me as if it should've been obvious.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because. Now you can stop hanging around me everywhere."

"Oh." Her words were a stab to my heart. "Yeah. I mean if you want me gone. I get it. I won't bother you anymore." My eyes prickled.

"Wait." She gripped my forearm before I left. "I don't want you gone. I just thought--"

I frowned at her as she collected her thoughts.

"Listen. I said that night was the one night, right?"

"Yeah. I get it."

"Okay. And you won't go telling everyone about--"

"No, of course not."

"Okay."

We walked in silence. So she expected I would stop looking for her after we slept together. Wow, that didn't say much for what she thought about my character. I couldn't stay away even if I wanted, though. My endorphins were firing as soon as I'd met her, and I wasn't about to give up this new high without a fight.

----

True to her word, she didn't come on to me after that weekend. We occasionally saw each other at parties, we went to school events with everyone else, we kept having coffee together every day, but nothing like the night we had together.

I was dancing with a girl from an a cappella team at a sorority party, and she was really cute. She had such a sweet smile. Her name was Anna.

We bumped together, and I caught a whiff of gingerbread.

"I'm getting some water. Want anything?" I shouted at her. She shook her head then followed me to the kitchen, hanging off my arm.

I chugged water, and we made small talk in the kitchen. Jesse was there with Kyra. They were going on three weeks of dating.

"Mor? Could we go back to your dorm?" Anna whispered in my ear.

My stomach fell. By that point in the night, I was usually already raring to go but instead I felt ambivalent, worse even, I felt a little anxious.

"I'd love to, but I have a super early morning tomorrow." I lied without scruples.

Her eyebrows went high up. "Oh, okay. Sure. No problem. I think I saw my friend. I've gotta go. Thanks for the dancing."

"Yeah. No. Thanks." She left me nursing my water bottle.

Jesse immediately came over to me.

"What was that?"

"Anna. She's nice."

"She asked you to spend the night."

"Yeah."

"And you didn't go."

"I don't just live for sex, Jess."

He stared at me with an open mouth. "What?"

I served myself a whiskey and coke.

"You're really not going to tell me what's going on?" He pestered.

"There's nothing going on. I'm just tired. Don't wanna spend my night rolling around with a girl tonight."

His frown got even more marked at that.

"Shut up, man."

"Fine. We'll have fun tonight, right?" He punched me lightly.

"Yeah." I nodded.

We were our usual boisterous selves after that until I looked over to the dance floor to see Suzie dancing with a guy. He was tall with that spiky blonde hair. Rudy, I think that was his name.

She was dancing with him like she danced with me. As much as I'd advocated a judgement-free zone and 'every woman has the right to her own body,' what the fuck?

I went from not knowing she existed, to being hated by her, to being sort of friends, to spending an awesome night together, to -- this. Whatever this was.

My mind played their potential night in fast pace. The kissing, sex, the cuddles, then saying thank you, good night. Surprisingly, it made it hurt less, knowing what they were going to do. She was gorgeous. Of course she got hit on. I just hoped the fucking dude was nice to her.

I pushed her out of my mind, and tried to have fun though I couldn't help but notice they left together at the end of the night.

I resolved to never bring up boys or girls to her again, for the sake of my own sanity.

----

"Hey Red." I dropped into the seat next to her in the amphitheater.

"Hi stalker. You ready for this?"

"No. It's all happening too fast."

She turned to look at me with slight confusion in her eyes. "Aw. It'll be all right."

"If you say so."

"Everyone! Welcome to the LSAT Preparation Course! Thank you for taking the time out each of your schedules to do something that will benefit your life!" the lady said enthusiastically.

I cringed.

We went through the motions of listening on how important the test was and how with just a few practice tries we would all get the score we were looking for. Hooray!

"So how'd you feel?" I asked her when we walked out.

"Okay." She chewed over her word, thoughtfully. "There were a few questions that I just said 'what the hell are they talking about?' But for the most part, I felt fine."

"Those are the counter intelligence placement questions."

"Huh?" She asked with a smile.

"The 'what the fuck' questions. They're a secretly placed test inside most national tests that look for viable recruits for national counter intelligence. Everyone knows this." I amped up the conspiracy theory for her amusement.

"Oh, really? Everyone knows about the secret test in the LSATs?" She asked incredulously.

"Of course! How else do you think our government recruits people?"

She narrowed her eyes at me then kept walking.

"So! Wanna go grab a bite to eat?" I continued.

"It's ten o'clock in the morning."

"I'm hungry! All that thinking made me hungry."

"Fine. What do you want?"

"McDonalds!"

"Okay."

"Who are your friends? Cheryl? Who else?" I said around a full mouth of fries.

"Uh -- Sandy, Georgie, Denarys, Tony. What about you?" She dipped a chicken nugget in ranch and popped it in her mouth.

"Jesse, Samantha, Yael, Christy, and Sharie. Jesse's my best friend though."

"That's sweet. What about recent one nighters? Any good ones?"

My heart dropped. I'd been harboring a serious boner for her, and didn't know what to say.

"Oh, you know. No one very outstanding recently." I bit my tongue before I asked her the same question. "Um -- what's been going on in Music History?"

"Oh! So the professor chewed out this kid--"

----

I walked in my dorm that night, and was planning on jacking off really hard after being with her for hours.

"Moriah? Your three weeks is up." I heard my roommate's voice before I saw her.

"Good evening to you too, Dahlia."

"Yeah, hi. So can I bring my boyfriend around tomorrow?"

"Sure. What time are you planning?" I thumped down on my bed.

"Around 6."

"Okay. I'll be gone."

"Thank you!"

"Welcome." I stared at the ceiling.

"What's up?"

She must've noticed something. But we didn't do this. She usually stayed on her side, and I stayed on mine.

"I'm okay."

"Okay." She went back to doing whatever she was doing.

----

I was at a diner when she walked in with her friends.

"Yo! Suzie! We've got a few seats!" I waved over at her.

It was Saturday in the morning. Everyone was having breakfast at the same time, and the Denny's we were in was packed.

"Dude! Go on the other side!" I pushed Jesse off the bench quickly.

"Man! Chill." He fell off the bench.

"Geez. Thanks! It's busy, huh?" Suzie sat next to me, and her friends squeezed into our horseshoe vinyl bench after her.

"Yeah! Crazy busy!" I replied.

I tried to be engaged, and not look moony. Her arm kept grazing mine though, and at one point she tapped my thigh when she was telling a story.

"You two did seven minutes in my dorm. Didn't you?" Jesse spoke after a while, and looked at me devilishly.

"Yes. It's sort of how we met." Suzie said easily.

"Okay. So how good of a kisser is our Moriah here?"

"Why don't you pucker up, and find out yourself, pretty boy?" I blew kisses at him.

"Did you just seduce me? I feel a warm tingly feeling down there."

"Ew, gross!" I threw a straw at him while everyone laughed.

"You didn't answer, Suzie."

She looked at me, and I grinned sheepishly. She pursed her lips, relishing the power she had in that moment.

"I'll say -- a 9.5. So it won't go to her head."

"Yes!" I took it as a win. "In your face, pretty boy."

"Oh no! She's going to be singing 9.5 for weeks."

I danced index fingers in the air in triumph.

Cheryl spoke up. "Hey Moriah! There's a girl in my Microbiology unit that you might hit it off with."

"Don't bother. Moriah doesn't date." Suzie interjected.

"Wait, hold on! Is this friend of yours pretty?" I leaned over Suzie to make eye contact with Cheryl.

"Very! She's got green eyes!"

"Oh-ho! Good looking out, Cher. Let me know your next class you have with her, and I'll casually walk by."

"What maneuver are you going to use on her?" Suzie asked bitingly. "The bait and switch? Three hungry dogs? Ooh! The slippery sexcapade?"

"I'll just ask her if she wants to play with my microscope." I said with a little flourish of my hand.

"Ew. Gross!" She scrunched up her face. "You'll probably need it to find your microscopic brain!"

"Oh, really? My 'microscopic brain'?" I said in a silly mocking voice.

"No, you know what? I think the issue with your malfunctioning brain is probably syphilis."

"What?"

"Yeah. It's already gotten to your brain, and addled your thinking ability." She wiggled her fingers near my head to punctuate her statement.

"For your information, syphilis is very treatable now. No one goes mad anymore."

She huffed, and crossed her arms. I looked up to see everyone looking at us.

"What?"

"What the fuck was that?" Jesse cried.

"Me and Suz?"

He nodded in exaggeration. I looked at her, and she looked just as equally confused. I guessed no one had seen us interact since we'd met.

"Well. When we met, she hated me." I tried to explain.

"Still do sometimes." She pitched in.

"Right. Some days are good, some days not so good."

"So do you have an STD or not? Because if you do--"

"Oh no. I'm clean. Just one of Suzie's jokes. Funny... funny jokes."

"Yeah. A riot." Cheryl deadpanned.

"I thought it was funny." Suzie picked at her roasted potatoes.

"Me too, actually!" In retrospect, she really laid into me. "You know, it's very impressive the ways you've found to call me dumb. We should start writing them down."

"Thank you!"

We high-fived.

"But yeah -- I was joking. She doesn't have syphilis." Suzie pointed her fork at me.

They were still looking at us funny.

"O-kay. Well, anyway -- what is everyone wearing the ABC party?" Sammy changed the subject.

----

Suzie was in the library, yet again, for the second time that day. This essay needed to get outlined, and she needed a thesis. She closed her eyes to focus, and tried to build it in her head.

"God, I've been so busy!" A girl exclaimed at the table behind her.

"Me too! I feel like all I'm doing recently is research and homework." Her friend replied.

"Are you going to the anything-but-clothes party this weekend?"

"Yep! I'm thinking of wearing caution tape."

"That is so overdone! I'm making a skirt out of duct-tape and, like, this cute little crop top made out of hi-vis material."

"Great idea! That'll be so cute."

Suzie secretly conceded that sounded adorable, and resolved to take some time later to think about her own outfit.

"I think I'm due for a nice night though." Duct-tape skirt girl spoke. "I'm thinking of hitting up Moriah again."

Suzie jolted in her seat, and tried to hear harder at their conversation.

"I heard from my friend that she shot her down a couple of weeks ago." her friend replied.

"So? I've been with her before, we have a -- rapport."

The friend laughed. "I'm just telling you what I heard."

The girl harrumphed, and their conversation ended there. Once Suzie knew they'd stopped talking about anything remotely interesting, she put her headphones on.

She tried not to speculate on the conversation, because she didn't know the details. One thing rang out though. Mor hadn't jumped on a potential one-night stand. Hm. She smiled as she highlighted the argument she wanted to make in her essay.

----

We jumped to the rhythm of the loud music, and I had on a dark green Sprouts bag as a top. I'd sewed together another bag for my shorts as well. Most everyone was barefoot. I was cheating and wearing flip-flops.

Jesse and Sammy were dancing with me, and we were having a blast. I'd leaned into my new celibate life, and was completely in the moment, until she walked in. She was wearing a sweetheart hem dress made up of little multicolored fuzzy balls. It must've taken a lot of glue.

I refocused on my friends.

On a break from dancing, I went to go get water and more booze.

"Hi stalker!" She separated from her friends in the hallway and followed me into the kitchen.

"Hey!" I smiled at her. I found a cold water bottle and chugged it. "You look adorable!" My mouth pulled to one side.

"Thanks!" She twirled in front of me, and a few of her fuzzy balls fell off.

I knelt to pick them up then handed them to her.

"Oops!" She took them from me and looked around her dress.

I spotted the bald spot first. "I think they came from here."

She dug out a tiny clutch from her cleavage and took out a super-glue tube. She tried to reach the spot but it was too far back. She looked at me then pursed her lips.

I was still kneeling, and smiled placidly.

"Do you mind?" She offered the fuzzy balls and super glue to me.

"Not at all! Turn around."

I reattached the fuzzy balls to what seemed to be a bedsheet underneath, holding each ball for a minute after applying the glue. I stood up while stoppering the glue tube then tucked it into her snap clutch to hand to her.

She slipped it back into her cleavage. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome!" I looked at her, cracking my knees. "Um, wanna dance?"

"Sure!" She smiled at me.

We danced for about an hour. The music was really good. I wasn't allowed to come on to her though, and it put a damper on my good feels.

Fuck it. "Suz?"

She tipped her head up at me in question, since it was so loud.

I leaned in close to her ear to speak to her. "Would you want to spend the night together?"

She separated to look in my eyes. "One night." She paused as she waited for my agreement.

I squashed down my stupid comeback, and nodded eagerly. "Yeah. Totally."

She narrowed her eyes then immediately smiled at me.

My confidence spiked, and I rolled onto her body harder in the dance. She grinned at me, and cradled my head closer as she met my body too.

Now that we knew we were spending the night together, she danced against me with abandon.

We took a little break in the kitchen to drink some more water. Paula came up to me while I was pouring more water in my cup.

"Hi!" She got in my space.

"Yo!"

"Wanna dance?"

"Not right now, thanks though." I smiled at her. "How was Nationals Cross Country?"

"Great! We got first place in the main run, and I took third in the hurdle run."

"Nice! Congrats!" I sidled back to Suzie's side and looked back at Paula. "Did you all get a trophy or medal?"

"We got a trophy. It's nice and shiny and sitting in our coach's office. I got a plastic bronze medal for my efforts."

"Cool!" I grinned. "Do you know Suzie?" "Suz, this is Paula. She's on the cross country team." I gestured to her, and she smiled at the girl. "Suzie's on the cheerleading squad. Right?" I looked at her to make sure I wasn't overstepping. She raised her eyebrows quickly in assent.

"Nice to meet you." Paula seemed to be on her way out already.

"You too."

"Nice to see you, Mor. I'll catch you later."

I smiled.

Once she left, my heart went back to normal. "Geez! That was weird." I muttered.

"She wanted to spend the night with you."

"Oh." I frowned. "How could you tell?"

"Besides the fact that she tried to snatch you away? I also heard her in the library planning to see you again."

"Oh."

She smiled at me then shrugged.

"So, what did she say?"

"What do you care? You decided on 'No', right?"

"Yep! Yeah. Just wondering about your thoughts..." I raised my eyebrow to prompt her words.

"Uh -- I guess I just wondered why you didn't say yes to her."

I frowned at her. "We were going to spend tonight together, right? Why would I say yes to her?"

"Okay, I also wondered why you've said no to other girls before her..." She looked at me, imploring me to understand. I really didn't.

"Uh -- like who?" I hedged.

"I don't know. God, Mor, this is getting too complicated."

"No. No. Keep dancing with me. I have no idea what you're talking about, I'm sorry."

She looked at me and nodded, following me to the dance floor. It looked like the night wasn't completely ruined.

----

When we got back to my room later that night, I pressed her into my door, crushing her lips. She moaned as she rubbed her leg along mine. I caressed her neck and slipped my hand up to hold the side of her face possessively. While I kissed her, I rooted around my biker shorts for my keys.

I fumbled at the lock, and drew in a sharp breath when she bit the side of my lip. "Fuck. That's hot."

She licked my upper lip, and my arousal was almost painful.

We fell through the open door when I finally turned the handle. I slipped her dress off then laid it cautiously over my chair. She took my Sprouts bag in both hands over my chest to rip it down the middle.

We grinned at each other at her boldness. I took the shredded bag and my bra off. She kneeled then tore the plastic off my hips too. She pulled my biker shorts down. I kicked them off. She pushed my hips into the cold wall while she caressed my front.