All Comments on 'Dual Heritage Ch. 01'

Really good first chapter can't wait for the next part

great start, looking forward to some world and character guilding!

When someone is inside a building and they fall, they don't fall to the ground, they fall to the floor of the structure they are in. If that person stumbles to the exterior of a building and then falls, they would have fallen to the ground!

Sorry I can’t read any more of this story . It’s too disjointed, not enough information on the characters and the timeline, maybe a good story later but it’s not flowing for me ,

Your word choice could use some work. Labyrinthine is a great word, but it’s what would have been called a five dollar word back in the day. You use it once, you look like you’ve got a good vocabulary; use it twice in a chapter and you seem a bit repetitive. Four times and you seem like a four year old who just learned a new word. A puppy with a new chew toy.

Odd and awkward non-violence signalling, for what? A person who robs you with a gun is a killer waiting for a reason to kill you. And a normal decent human being shouldn't use whatever power he or she may have to thwart, preferably Eliminate a killer from society? That's worse than cowardly or selfish, that's denying civilized responsibility to protect and survive. Otherwise evil wins, sooner or later, 'cause Evil doesn't Play Fair. Embrace and cope with reality, or reality will leave you dead and forgotten, and deservedly so.

Good plot. Hope to see a bit more character development. The logic he should have used with his aunt for getting involved should have been that the dude pointed his gun at him... self preservation is always a good defense

OK, so that's a strong opening chapter!

Slightly confused why his defense was that he wasn't trying to get involved, it was forced on him, but I suppose there's always mule reasons than what's shown, especially for characters that show some depth already.