Dungeons and Drunk Girls Ch. 02

I pulled my chair up next to hers, and asked how she was doing. She barely took her eyes off her cup, and said, "Fine."

Then, Violet began her descent down the stairs, her eyes bright and searching the room. She noticed immediately that she was overdressed, but didn't seem to care. Her little grin at the people below her was both pleased and somewhat condescending. A new red tank top over a long sleeved black shirt, and some black leggings beneath it. A bit one note, sure, but she looked good in those colors, and she knew it.

Ben hopped off his stool and went downstairs, I'm assuming to find something more to wear than his tightie whities. Neither of the other girls made a move, still whispering at each other, and looking unsettled.

I returned my attention to Ashley. "So... what's the plan?" I kept my voice low.

She held her mug with both hands, and glanced at me. "Oh... um. We might have to adjust some things."

"Like, yeah... I'm betting they're gonna be here all day." I waved my hand at the table. "This shit is addicting."

She nodded. "Honestly, I'm kinda wanting to play a little more myself."

"How's your friend?" I inclined my head at Violet, at the coffee pot. Now was Ashley's chance to come clean, and I hoped she'd take it.

She gave it a proper thinking through, at least. "She's better. Um... I may have misinterpreted things last night. Can we talk about it later, though?"

Deflection. I'd accept that as a good answer, this time. "Okayyy. Did you misinterpret us?"

She vigorously shook her head. "No, that's something else entirely. Very happy with my decision there."

"Cool. Yay. Me, too. Very happy." Hard to express oneself while keeping a level tone in your voice. "Um, FYI, I came up with a new thing. Bigger, brainier moment. When we get a chance to catch up, we're gonna have to talk fast." She creased her brow and wanted to say something, I'm sure, but Violet sat at the table and eyed us both, so conversation time was over.

I leaned away and consulted my character sheet. I made a few corrections for level two by memory, this wasn't the first monk I'd played. I made the alterations in pencil. Like a sane person. I looked at Ashley's as well, with its multiple scribblings and blacked out sections. I sighed and pulled a blank sheet out of my backpack, still leaned up against a corner of the table.

Ten minutes later I had a level two Stabitha, good to go. Then I worked on the character art box, and had a reasonable sketch done in a few more moments. I'm no great artist, but I can do better than a stick figure.

By then, Ben had reappeared, wearing his clothes from last night. Violet was behind her screen, reading ahead in the adventure booklet. Theo was playing on his phone. Kaitlyn and Jayne were still in a quiet conference. And then the doorbell rang. Our wizard had arrived.

And I silently intoned to myself, let the game begin.

***

I opened the door, and a voluptuous redhead glared at me. "Where the hell is everyone? I texted, no one's even leaving me on read, and I can't carry all this shit myself."

I stepped outside. "That's why I'm here. Pack mule services."

She nodded, and spun on her heel. "Come on, then." I followed. Now, Marla was a bombshell. Like, almost literally, I could easily see her likeness on the side of a WWII plane. Thick, bouncy everywhere, and long, luxurious red hair, almost down to that delicious looking round ass. She was wearing green hospital scrubs, an excellent color on her, and they looked like they'd been tailored to fit, the fabric tight along every curve. "So, what the hell is going on in there? I text for gossip updates and get a fricking grocery list. Then no one responds to any texts..."

"Well. Let's see. I brought two of my friends home last night, and they and two of your friends are... involved."

She blinked. "Which two?"

"Kaitlyn and Jayne."

"Jayne, sure. She's got a thing for nerds. But Kaitlyn? She chases jocks, mostly."

"One of my friends IS a jock." Technically anyway. Theo has his letterman jacket and everything, though I think I'd have to have some pretty good blackmail on him to get him to wear it in public. I'd dropped out of the program senior year, he'd stuck it out. The trunk to Marla's car lifted as we approached, and she gestured at the array of stuff.

"Trunk's yours. I've got like, five bags from McDonald's in the back seat. They were not thrilled to see me." She opened the back door, and started grabbing stuff. "I thought you only hang out with the brainy set..."

"Theo's multiclassing. Two levels in basketball, four in nerd-stuff."

"Oh, basketball? He's tall, then?" She sounded intrigued.

"Very." The 24 pack of beer had a handle, at least. But these White Claws were in flat cases with plastic wrap holding them in. Harder to juggle.

"Alright. So that explains two out of four."

"Yeah, I think Ash and Vi are doing something together, too." I blinked and brought up my mental snapshot of the scene in Ashley's room. I made it sound more vague and uncertain than I actually was about it, on purpose.

She rolled her eyes and bumped the door closed with a hip. "Fuck me. Again with those two?"

I shrugged, which was a feat, considering I had three cases of seltzer and a case of beer in my hands. "I guess. Jayne said she'd give me the backstory, but she's been... busy."

She sighed. "Alright. Thirty second version. Vi was always bi, Ash got curious. They got high and hooked up. Then they started maybe kinda hooking up every time they got high. Violet got her jealous hackles up cuz Ash was still chasing boys. Violet slept with another girl to show Ash how it felt. Ashley thought it felt pretty good, they should both have side projects, and keep it between them as friends with benefits. They tried, but Vi couldn't handle it, wanted exclusivity. Ash said no way, dick's too awesome to give up forever. I definitely sympathize. This escalated into a screaming, crying match in the very public cafeteria at college, which was the first time the rest of us knew anything about it. They're only still friends because we worked really hard to keep them together, but it's been weird a few times. Looks like this is one of those times."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah, last time, it was Ash who wanted to be one-and-only's with Vi, but Violet opened an only fans at some point in the past. Vi didn't tell Ash about it, but she found it anyway, as well as some video proof she'd hired a stunt cock while they were technically a couple. So, that time, the crying and yelling happened in a Wendy's. Which none of us are allowed in anymore. Which sucks, cuz that chili is amazing." She juggled brown bags to get at her keys, and locked her car.

"Wow." I meant it. None of this had ever filtered through to me, Ashley kept it all to herself. Also... "Violet has an only fans?"

She snorted. "Boys. Predictable."

"Yeah. Made you laugh, though. Anyways, thanks for the briefing."

"Brief being the keyword. Left out a lot of stuff. Look, things get messy when they start banging. Or whatever. So buckle up, I think you're in the blast radius of this one."

I hefted the case of beer. "Should we be pouring alcohol on this fire?"

Marla shrugged. "Hey, I got a list, and someone venmo'd me funds. I didn't know the details. If nothing else, this'll give the rest of us something to drink while they have a cat fight."

"Maybe the game will be enough of a distraction." Three flat cases on my shoulder, one hand holding the beer, I was fully loaded. We started walking back to the house.

She snorted. "They actually played? God, we were stuck in character creation when I left."

"Yeah. Violet ran your wizard as an NPC. So you're all caught up with the new, expanded party." I gave her an extremely brief rundown when we got to the front door, which I had unfortunately closed behind me. I used the corner of the beer case to ring the doorbell.

"Neat. Never played with... seven? People before."

"Violet's got her hands full, for sure. Is she experienced at this? She was handling things pretty well."

"Mm? Yeah, I guess. First time I've played with her... but we have some mutual friends and ex's who'd play, almost daily, up at college. I know she hung out with them for a while, after the cafeteria incident." She shifted her grip on a bag, I set down the beer briefly to help her steady her load.

"Hey, just, y'know. As an aside. Those scrubs? They look amazing on you."

"Thanks?" She looked at me, a wary, appraising glance. "They're practically work pajamas, though. Not meant to be sexy."

"Well. They are... but, no, my point is, you might be a little overdressed."

She opened her mouth, a question prepared to fly at me, but the door opened, someone finally responding to the doorbell. "Yaaay! Food's here!" Kaitlyn jumped up in glee, the oversized shirt caught air, and I saw everything from her ribcage down. A toned, flat belly, a neatly trimmed triangle of dark blonde pubes... I think she had legs or something below that, but that's where my gaze halted. She grabbed a couple of bags from Marla, and trotted back towards the kitchen.

I nodded at the door. "After you."

Marla had blinked at the exhibition, but just shook her head as she walked past me. "Oh, it's THAT kind of party."

***

Marla got pulled into a girl huddle with Kaitlyn and Jayne. I distributed food and started putting up the drinks. My friends drifted over to help.

"Hey, man. Sorry about earlier." Theo said.

"It's chill, bro," I said.

"Yeah? I mean. Yeah. Thanks."

Ben was far less apologetic. "Just, y'know, kinda feel bad, you ain't hooking up."

I shrugged. "I'll live."

Theo was looking at the kitchen table. "What's up with those two?"

Ashley and Violet were staring across the game table... hard to describe, but I'd say they were eating a sandwich AT each other. I shook my head. "Not sure."

"Vibe's getting weird, man." Ben said, looking at the trio of girls in the far corner.

Theo laughed. "Was that before or after the girls swapped us like we were lunchables?"

"It was weird before that. But it's getting weirder." Ben rubbed his head.

I said, "Probably gonna get even weirder. Are you guys up for this?"

Theo blinked. "Oh, I'm down for whatever. How... um. How strange would you say shit's gonna get? Scale of one to ten?"

Depends on what I could maneuver us into. But assuming I use the logarithmic scale, like it was an earthquake... "Eh. Six, maybe a seven."

Ben nodded. "Yeah. That'd be my guess. Lots of variables, though. Look, um. I'm gonna try to toss one of the girls your way. They seem pretty flexible, in that regard."

I smiled at him. "That'd be nice. But don't stress, I think we'll all make out okay. Y'all just got some early points in, it ain't even halftime yet." That got his eyebrows up.

"Fucking strangest game of DnD I've ever been involved in." Theo said, as an aside. "Assuming we ever get to play for more than five minutes without someone making out with someone else."

"Is that all you're worried about?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Well. Now that you mention it."

Ben looked thoughtful. "Girls giving out handies at the table, in front of everyone, last night. That's where the floor is. What's the ceiling?"

"That's why I asked if you were up for it. I thought you'd already done the math." I closed the fridge, nothing else would fit.

"Oh, shit." Ben was doing the math. He didn't seem daunted. He counted on his fingers, though. "Two girls who are doing their best to go free use. Three more, status unknown. Five girls, and three guys. Four pairs, fifteen permutations, assuming hetero only couplings..."

"That variable is not set in stone," I said. "I know for a fact, at least two of them are not strictly hetero."

He nodded. "That's a lot more combinations. Which two?" He peered at the rest of the kitchen over the top of his glasses.

"Let's just let that be a surprise." I pointed to the caché by the stairway. "Blue pills and lube in that top drawer, if we need it."

Theo clapped me on the shoulder. "My man!"

Ben covered his mouth, he was grinning. "The strategist has pulled us out of another one. Way to think ahead."

"I do my best. Now, you guys are on your own, though. Lots of solo plays to make, no real group strategy."

"Heh." Theo laughed, quietly. "Not yet anyway. What do you think, just tease 'em, and simmer? Or do we try to make the pot boil fast?"

"Up to you."

"Dude. Your sister is in the... um. Pot. I guess."

"Just figuring that out?" I shook my head at Ben's concern. "She's game. I bet, anyway."

"Doesn't bother you?"

"A little, but I'll be busy... so not really. Not enough to pass this by."

Theo and Ben shared a look. Theo spoke. "If it gets to be too much, say... I don't know. What's a safe word?"

I thought about it. "I don't think it'll be an issue. But, one of our old characters' names... um. Pirachis, remember, the bard who seduced the demon?"

"Against everyone's advice. But one doesn't argue with a natural twenty. Yeah. Pirachis, I hear that name, and I'm backing off. Deal." Ben nodded, and Theo stuck out his hand. We had a three way handshake, and a compact was made.

***

I moved over to the trio. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, a Neopolitian ice cream sandwich of girls. "Ladies?"

Jayne sat on the corner of the countertop, while Marla and Kaitlyn leaned to either side. The conference they'd been having was over, I think, they were just watching the room now.

Marla looked me over, like she was seeing me for the first time. She bit her lip. "Victor, when I said this was gonna get messy..."

I nodded. "You guys got a plan, then?" All three of them swiveled their heads at me.

"No, not exactly." Jayne kicked her feet, letting them swing from the counter. "We can just see that they're back to stage four, already." Kaitlyn nodded and held up four fingers gravely.

I laughed. "Wow. Okay, I don't know what that means, other than you've seen some shit. But look, what's the thing that sets off the bombs with these two?"

"Infidelity. Jealousy. One falls hard for the other at a really bad time." Marla looked up at the ceiling while she recounted. "Oh, and... sometimes they just make shit up to be upset about."

"And I'm pretty sure this is a bad time." I said. "Ashley had a recent encounter with someone new that she thinks... well. I'm not at liberty to really go into it. She wanted me to specifically not tell you four." I shrugged. "But it sounds to me like the new guy might be going for her as hard as she's going for him. But, bad timing with these two could fuck that up, too."

The girls shared a few facial expressions with each other. I wasn't privy to their code.

Jayne spoke first. "Wouldn't be the first time they screwed up someone else along the way. How do we stop it?'

"What have you tried, in the past?"

They shook their heads. "Counseling, logic, physical separation." Kaitlyn spoke for the three of them. "Didn't work."

I sighed. "Stands to reason they won't work again. Hmm." I tapped my bottom lip with a finger. "I have an idea. But, it's probably best not to tell you all about it first. That way, if it's not working, we can pull it back, make adjustments." They nodded.

"All right. What's the first step?" Jayne hopped down from the counter.

I bent to her ear and whispered. She turned bright red, and raised her shoulders to her ears. "Oh? Oh, I get what... hm. That might work." She giggled. "Yeah. I can do that." She went up on her toes and kissed my cheek. "Good luck."

Marla and Kaitlyn watched her go off to the table and sit in front of her character sheet, her old spot next to Ben. "What about us?"

"Just play the game. It'll get clearer as we go."

***

Just so you know, I'm not making this shit up. There's some upcoming scenes where I'm not directly participating in the action. But just because I wasn't actively there, doesn't mean I didn't observe it. Take the following little vista. It's a semi private conversation. Now, I could hear most of it, and I'm a pretty good lip reader. Also, Jayne reported back to me when she got a chance. If I fill up the scene with a bunch of 'I heard so-and-so say's,' and 'I saw whatsername smile,' it just breaks up the story, makes it bulky and unreadable. But if I cut all that nonsense out, someone's going to pop up with a 'I don't get how he knows this, he wasn't even there,' and leave a one star review, which is bad for my ego. So, I'm going to embellish things up a bit, here and there. On to the scene.

***

Everyone started to gather around the game table. No signal was given, we just all seemed to think it was time. Jayne got up and took her character sheet over to Violet. "So, I'm having problems. What happens to me at second level?"

Vi glanced at Ben who was leafing through a list of spells with Marla, the mages coordinating their magic to have effective coverage. "Lose your helper?" She asked.

Jayne leaned in close. "On purpose. Marla hasn't gotten laid since memorial day. And Ben was..." She didn't follow up with a word, just a single grunt of pleasure. "She deserves some good dick. Hey... when was the last time you got..." she wiggled her eyebrows, and grinned.

"Oh, um. Not too long ago."

"Was it GOOD dick?"

"No. The other thing. Good tongue."

"But when was the last time you had good DICK, tho?" Jayne leaned a little closer, putting her brown eyes on level with Violet's green ones, almost touching her nose. "I get licked out all the time. No comparison."

Violet wrinkled her nose in a smile. "Ever had a girl do it? Much more satisfying than some guy who just licks it twice before putting it in."

Jayne blushed and pulled her face back. "Nooo... You make a good point though, while still not answering the question." She raised her eyebrows. "Last time you got dicked down proper. Come on."

Violet broke eye contact, and shuffled some papers. "Been a bit. Since the last proper... dicking."

"Okay... no shame. But there's three of those here. Kaitlyn gave a very glowing review..."

"What about Vic?" At this point she glanced at me. I was accepting praise from Ashley on my character portrait, and had an excuse not to be staring directly at them.

"It's definitely big enough." Jayne mused. "And he's nice and kind and... well, he looks good on paper. But no Yelp reviews yet."

"How do you know he's big?"

"Perpetual package checker, that's me. But those sweatpants make that an easy job." She moved back, closer to Violet's face. "He's a nerd, tho. You know what I say about nerds."

Violet laughed. "Geek on the streets, freak in the sheets."

Jayne nodded and winked. "I've never been wrong on that one. Only thing is, it might freak Ash out if you're... public about it, with him."

Violet sighed. "Might? You've forgotten how protective she gets with him... and... no, you didn't see them last night..." She drummed her fingers on the table.

"What did I miss?"

"Nothing. Maybe nothing. Look, I'll keep a lookout for opportunities."

Jayne smiled, "That's my girl. Anyways. Spells. I get a new one, right?"

"You do... here, why don't we..."

***

See? Not too bad, didn't break the narrative at all, and only broke the fourth wall a little. Back to my POV.

***

Ben and Marla wrapped up, and she scooted her chair closer to mine. "What's that?" She said, pointing at my character.

"Warforged monk, level two." I replied.

"Neat. What's a warforge?"

I delighted in explaining, and flirting. I made eye contact, touched her leg, and made her laugh. And I was able to do all of this while paying at least partial attention to Ashley.

She glared at Violet and Jayne, giggling and keeping their faces close as they reviewed spells. She had a lesser glare at Kaitlyn and Theo, who was going over his bard's capabilities to the captivated blonde. Ben was busy scribbling on his character sheet, and then there was me and Marla, clearly having a fine time. She huffed.