Dungeons and Drunk Girls Ch. 02

I heard it and looked over at her. Her eye twitched, then shifted to the redhead, who was looking my stats over. Then back to me with an arched eyebrow.

I leaned over to her. "Something to say?"

"Marla? She's a bit... chunky... for you, right?"

See, she was still working under the impression that I was down with Plan B. That I'd pick one of her friends and bang her, for the distraction effect. This suited my purposes just fine. "Hey, she's available. And, no, she's not chunky, just... curvy." I served her a wicked grin with the whispered retort.

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Which one then?" I asked. Marla had a question, so I leaned back to her.

Now I can't say exactly what went through her mind, but I did see her look hard at her other friends, and I knew the gears were turning. She got a tense look in her jaw, a tightening around the eyes. So, I can guess, based on what she told me next.

Jayne. Too into nerds, potential for an actual relationship. Kaitlyn, too bubbly and sweet, just the opposite of herself. Violet... just no.

She got my attention, and when I leaned back, she said in a terse voice, "Fine. Marla's fine." Her tone said it wasn't though. "Which one of your friends..."

I cut her off. "Theo's got the biggest dick I've ever seen. Ben's good with his fingers, I hear, and knows things that'll make you switch religions during the act. Take your pick."

She grunted, because I'd returned to Marla with a gentle poke at her ribs, and the pale girl blushed and giggled when I did. So, she studied my friends.

The next time I was summoned to hear her whispers, she had an answer for me. "Theo. If I'm gonna get banged for no good reason, it might as well be a big one."

I nodded. "Fuck yeah. You go, girl. Now, good luck peeling Kaitlyn off of him."

***

The group was done with leveling, we'd just been chatting for a while now. Jayne returned to her chair between Marla and Ben, and Ashley was getting frustrated with trying to covertly get Theo's attention. She coughed, and looked up at Violet, who was reading ahead in the pamphlet for the adventure. "Hey..." she said, and nobody noticed. Well, I did, but Marla was making big eyes at me, and feeling my bicep. Busy, I was busy.

Ashley got loud. "Ahem. Are we doing this?"

Vi looked up, and grinned an evil grin. The kind of grin that players came to know as a trap well sprung. She dropped her booklet and started in a sonorous voice: "And so, Stabitha is the first to stir from her slumber. Bright morning light stabs through the trees, piercing her eyelids. She's not used to sleeping this late in camp, the sun is well above the horizon. She looks around and wonders who had the last watch or who fell asleep, leaving their fire to burn out. Breakfast will be hard to come by without a fire..."

Ashley blinked, then burst into a radiant smile. "Oh. Oh, neat. I grab my gear and get up, roaring," she paused here to gather her breath, "WAKE THE FUCK UP, FUCKERS!"

She was already having fun, her frustration evaporating, and she gave a cute giggle after her bellow. The other people began to sit straight, and square their papers and dice up. I held up a hand. "Uh, small correction," I said. "I'm a warforged? And we don't sleep. I wouldn't have let the fire go out."

"Fine," Violet said. "I did forget. The fire is mostly coals, though. Easy enough to stir back into a roaring flame."

Ash looked at me. "Sorry. Didn't mean you, you're cool... uh..." She blinked rapidly. "Wait. What's your name again?"

I make a face at her, then pull out a sheet of paper. In pencil, I make a quick series of blocks and wedges. Then I hand it to Ashley. She frowns at it. "I can't read this."

Ben speaks up, in his rich baritone character voice. "Steelwind is his name. And I can decipher some of his... scratchings. Sometimes."

Ashley frowns. "He doesn't speak?"

I shake my head, as Ben continues. "He does not. No one seems to know what he is, or where he came from... the language he writes bears some resemblance to an odd orcish tribe from the far north. It is not identical, however. And he is not some mere magical construct, like yonder temple guardian. He lives, he thinks, he... I'm sorry, I just realized I'm not sure... are you, in fact, male?"

I nod.

"Ah. Good. How... um. How does one tell?"

I look down at my lap, then back at Ben. "I can demonstrate. Or you can take my word for it." It breaks my character to speak, but there's some things that need to be communicated between players, for their own good.

In his normal voice, Ben says... "Retracted," as the group titters.

"Um. Tabled for later, actually. I'm curious." Marla said, wiggling herself closer to me.

"Ah!" Violet exclaimed. "There is a new figure at the campsite, someone who stayed hidden in the brush even after the guardian was defeated, not fully trusting these newcomers. Introduce yourself, hon. Full description, now, no holding back."

"Ahem. Hello. Apologies for my intrusion." Her voice moved to a fluid, french-ish accent, odd stresses everywhere. "I am Vulverna, a student of the mystic arts. This temple has long been a curiosity to my order, who have sent me and my companions to explore it. May I assume you intend to enter?"

Theo laughed. "Vulverna? All right. Fits with Kitty, here, and... Clittiara? Is that right?"

Jayne blushed. "We were... inebriated. Sloshed, really. I thought it was inspired, at the time."

"Description, please." Violet said, after the laughs died down.

She didn't hold back. Marla rose from her chair. "Vulverna appears much like myself, a woman in fine figure. Her vestments are a simple robe, made of blue silk. It's cut on both sides, allowing one to see up to her ample hips," she brushed hands along her upper legs, doing a little slinky maneuver to accompany her motion, "...and maybe a bit more, depending on errant breezes. A deep vee on her chest," and she hefted her assets in her scrub top, "allowing one to plainly see the device of her order. A book, open with a single azure eye upon it, as a pendant nestled... here." I hadn't been aware that nursing uniforms could be cut low enough to see cleavage, but I was happy to be so educated. "Her red hair is lustrous and free, cascading in waves down her back." She fingered her hair, and shook it around, exactly as she described. "Oh, and knee high, leather boots. For travel."

The table hit a smattering of applause. I felt Ashley grab my hand and squeeze. I glanced at her and wiggled my eyebrows. She rolled her eyes in return.

We took turns then, each describing themselves anew to the fresh player, and we broke camp. Theo and Kaitlyn made sure everyone knew they'd bedded down together, and Jayne apologized to the group if her prayers last night had been especially... vigorous. And loud. I, for one, appreciated the apology.

Then Violet dropped the bomb on us. "Right. So, before we get truly started, there's some teensy bit of housekeeping I need to get out of the way." She waved the pamphlet that contained the module in the air. I saw many crossings out and hastily written notes. In ink. On an object that had been shrink-wrapped on my bookshelf yesterday. I just grit my teeth, and made no comment. "This is designed for four players, max. So I'm having to modify it extensively for the seven of you. There's some things that haven't been beta tested, so forgive me if I stumble here and there. Okay?" Murmurs of agreement. "Also, I'm going to make an overarching rule here. The rules of reality are just a little bendy, here in the Temple of Syrinx. If a trap would kill you, instead, you end up in a place under the temple. You'll be able to escape or be rescued... but this is probably going to split up the party. We'll handle this by sending the exiled players to the basement, and I'll come down there to deal with you at regular intervals."

I almost squealed with delight. Instead, I let out a simple, "Cool," along with three or four other people. But seriously, this was perfect. Random people in a semi private setting, with nothing to do... as horny as everyone was, this was going to get fun, fast. I think we were each plotting a way to get downstairs with a chosen person first. Also, this particular module had been shrink-wrapped on my shelf for a reason, I'd bought it for myself after Kent ran us through it once when he hadn't prepared something. Myself and the boys were kinda already familiar with the layout and the traps... but this would be all new to us, judging by the thoroughly altered glimpse of the map we'd had.

"Last thing. It will definitely take ALL of you to face the evil at the center of this place. Prioritize rescuing the fallen, and be careful."

And we got started.

***

Now, I could get into it here. Every roll to check for traps, who used which cantrip when, detailing our packs and encumbrance ratings... But, if you were here for that sort of thing, you're not going to find a lot of it on this site. I could direct you to some excellent RP forums... even some pretty kinky ones. But let's be honest, if you've read this far, you want to see these people, specifically, fuck, and maybe some kind of resolution to the plot of how me and my sister finally get to have a real, happy, loving relationship. We do, I promise. She's still a bitch to me sometimes, but... that's life. I'm sure I annoy the crap out of her, too.

Okay, I got off track there. So, we're going to skip to the first good bit.

***

Stabitha and Kitty walked into another room, no torches allowed, they ruined the thief's night vision. She sniffled at the air, laid gentle paws on the stone floor. "I think it's clear," she said in her raspy voice.

Destin, the warlock, strode in haughtily, followed by most of the rest of the party, bearing a blazing torch. Steelwind kept himself to the rear, always vigilant.

Destin's eyes glowed as he invoked his arcane sight, to find any magical traps that Kitty wouldn't be able to detect. He saw nothing out of the ordinary, but the entire temple's innate magical aura made it difficult. Everything had a hint of magic about it. "Clear," he intoned, though he wasn't sure.

This had been the strategy, so far. Tank and trap detector went first, fragile magi second, with everyone else moving along behind. It was tense, stressful work. But it had worked, and they had disarmed several otherwise deadly traps along the way here.

"Aha!" The warlock exclaimed. "There. Carvings." He beckoned the nervous Vulverna forward, she had a book that might help translate the markings. The rest of the party milled about. Kitty began cleaning herself in a corner of the room, one leg pointed towards the ceiling, her head tucked.

"Must be nice," Stabitha said, turning her back to the sight. Steelwind, leaning in the doorway to the previous room, made a metallic clicking the group was coming to associate with his laughter.

The iron clad Clittiara walked towards the towering blonde warrior, her somehow revealing and yet still protective gear clanking slightly with each step. "Seriously, I have some pamphlets."

Stabitha rolled her eyes. "I'm not changing religions for you. No matter how tempting."

"Just take them, you can look them over when we get to camp. They're illustrated..." She said with a wink, wiggling a pamphlet in front of Stabitha.

"Fine. I'll take the wank material." Stabitha almost angrily took the folded parchment and tucked it in her loincloth.

"Good. Orgismia prefers that form of prayer... it's how I go to sleep, and how I wake, her name on my lips, and my fingers in her blessings- oh?" Both girls looked down, as a distant hollow pop was heard. The flagstone they were on trembled, and another pop, much closer and louder rang out. The group is startled, and everyone turns towards the girls, in time to see them fall...

***

"Failed, failed, failed." Violet said, sadly. "Nobody makes their reaction check."

"Hang on," I said. "I was counting bonuses. Um... does a sixteen succeed?"

Violet nods. "Yes. You may take one action before they are out of your reach."

I stare at my inventory, my mind whirling. Rope, and a leap of faith... all I had. "Grappling hook should already be attached to the rope. I'm gonna chuck it at the far wall, and dive after them."

Violet considers. "That's two actions. But, you are trained in acrobatics?" After I nodded, she continued. "Then I'll allow it. Give me an attack roll, to see if you seat the hook."

"Twelve."

She nods. "Proceed. You have one further action, in freefall, before the rope snaps you to a halt. It's only fifty feet, after all."

"Can I catch them both?"

Violet shrugs. "Skill check. High challenge rating for both. If you're lucky, yes, you save them. If not, then I'll let you pick one." She looked at me expectantly.

I held the dice in my hand and closed my eyes. "Here goes."

The entire table groans, even the DM. I peek out of one eye. A one stares back at me.

***

Kitty morosely looked down into the hole. "Rope just snapped. I knew I didn't trust that vendor. He smelled of fish, and yet said he had no fish to sell. Liar." She spitefully kicks a loose stone into the abyss.

Fernando shakes his head. "They were good companions, stalwart and true. I will compose a dirge for them, when we are safe."

Destin gritted his fangs and pulled on his horns. Three at once? And all their warriors as well. All of them! Except the dancing, singing one. He barely counted. Cursed temple, with that overly simple weight trap. It wasn't fair.

The wizard looked up at him, fear in her eyes. "What do we do now?"

"We read this wall. Perhaps there's some easy way out of this." It was the best he could think of. Moving forward filled him with terror, and back would only bring the bitter taste of defeat. "Come, child. I will help you." He put soothing tones in his voice, and a red clawed hand on her shoulder. The flickering torch revealed the carvings, and they approached together.

***

We solemnly gathered up our character sheets, and upon instruction from Violet, our dice. "No phones," she said, as Jayne reached for her purse. "And leave your drinks, too." We went downstairs. Faintly, we could hear the chatter from upstairs, but the stairway muted and distorted a lot.

At least the basement was finished. Dad had a nice setup down here. As far as dungeons go, I quite liked it. We sat on the unmade, unfolded couch-bed, all three of us ignoring the stained sheets.

"Thanks for trying to save us." Jayne said.

I shrugged. "You would have done the same."

Ashley laughed. "Maybe. But it was a damn good try."

"Critical fails... they happen."

Ash grinned. "Shoulda given you some tongue luck."

Jayne smiled as well. "Yah. Didn't think of it, I was actually terrified."

"I know, right? Just paper and dice and Violet's unforgiving eyes. I'm so INTO this shit." Ashley flopped back onto the bed, issuing a grunt of frustration. "Wanna stab something."

I parked a hand on her leg, near her knee. "We'll be fine. They'll rescue us. Eventually."

Jayne scooted closer. "What do we do until then?"

I said I didn't know. She asked if tongue luck was cumulative. I said I was open for an experiment.

Ashley raised her head, I felt it, but didn't see it, my eyes were closed. Jayne kissed so softly, so tentatively...

Ashley grunted again and turned her back to us. I lost myself for a bit in the tongue play, the sliding of our lips. Her hands felt along my chest and back, and I started to return the favor.

After a few minutes of this, she broke away from me, leaving me to gasp in the air. She grasped the bottom of her pink shirt as if to remove it, then gave a startled glance at Ashley's back. "Oh, hell! Ash, I almost forgot you were there."

"I noticed."

"Are you okay?"

"Bored. A little skeeved out. Otherwise fine."

Jayne winked at me, and put a finger to my lips. "Hang on. No, don't move, I'm coming to you."

I moved across the basement to dad's game table. Three chairs left, and I sat in one. The girls murmured at each other. Then the murmuring stopped, and some other sounds began. I glanced at them.

Jayne had her hands tangled in Ashley's hair, their faces together. Ash slid her hand down the side of the pink shirt and over a hip. One moaned into the other's mouth, and it was answered, like an echo. There was that oddly double edged feeling in my chest and gonads again. Ash was mine, dammit! But fuck, it was so hot seeing her kiss another girl. Even hotter when the girl in question had been a hair's breadth away from stripping for me. I wondered if Ashley could taste my tongue on her lips.

As much fun as it was to watch the two girls make out on the couch, I was over here for a reason. Well, two, really. One was to give Jayne some time to follow the order I'd given her in the kitchen. "Distract them. Both of them. Make them both think about fucking anyone else but each other." I'd whispered in her ear in the kitchen. And she'd flown into the role with absolute glee and some talent, as well.

I moved my estimation of Jayne, already pretty high, up another notch or two. Heck, she even managed to give me a thumbs up with her hand behind Ashley's head. But, I digress. Reason two I was over here... I had a great view of the stairs.

Violet had said she'd be by to check on us regularly. And I listened, and the mumbling voices upstairs quieted, and I heard a footfall on the tile floor.

"Someone's coming," I hissed.

The ladies rolled apart and assumed positions of casual boredom with ease. Jayne put her back to the couch part of the bed and drew up her knees, and Ashley sat at the edge of the bed, facing me. I caught a look of surprise from her, like she'd forgotten I existed, before she buried her face in her hands to hide her red cheeks. Good to know that she gets so caught up easily.

I saw Violet darken the doorway at the top of the stairs, and tried to relax myself into a less alert pose.

"Hello, down there." She came halfway down the steps to a landing where the stairs turned to follow the wall. "So... how's it going?"

Ashley grunted, I said 'meh,' and Jayne just perked up and grinned at our gamesmaster. Violet gripped the bannister. "So. You've awoken on a black, featureless plain. The sky above you is equally black, but there's plenty of light to see each other, so there must be a source of light and heat."

Right back into it. I really liked her style as a DM. "Perception checks?" I asked the girls. We gathered at the gaming table.

There wasn't much to see. The ground was flat, like a ballroom floor, and we could see ourselves in the surface, a dark reflection at our feet. Violet let us wander around and ask questions. Eventually we found something.

"Below you, you see a weakly sputtering torch, and a dim room. Your reflections can't be seen anymore, but you CAN see your companions, scrutinizing some carvings. They seem unaware of your presence."

Ashley punched the ground. "Stabitha doesn't have an extensive toolkit, so let's stick with what she knows." The blow rang like a bell. "Huh. Imma do it again, with some oomph to it."

Violet seemed happy. "All right, give me a strength check." Ashley rolled her dice, and scored a seventeen when all of her bonuses got totaled. Still grinning, Violet shook her head. "The sound is deafening, a rolling gong across the empty land. The image at your feet shimmers and ripples. But, beyond that, nothing happens. The people on the other side are still unaware, and now your fist hurts."

I looked at the girls. "Might be onto something there. But if it's a higher skill check than a seventeen... we're likely going to be here for a bit."

Jayne grinned. "Unless we get lucky." She wiggled her tongue at me. I smiled back.

"So, can all three of us strike the ground at once?" We could, but none of us rolled better than a twelve. Violet let us strategize for a bit. Hitting it until the barrier breaks was, so far, the best idea.