All Comments on 'Dying Wish Ch. 04'

What a load of crap...

He shouldhave placed his own wedding ring on his new wife. They could have flown off to some tropical island and had a beach wedding. She could wear a off-white gauzy dress with nothing underneath and barefoot on the beach. Her baby bump showing their love to everyone watching.

A mother's love for her child, nurturing or intimate, surpasses all normal barriers, I know..

Never voting nor commenting on the previous parts, and having re-read them now, a year since last posting, this one falls short, in fact, the whole series seems hollow. Sorry.

Thanks for the effort though.

As far as the entire series feeling "hollow," I can accept and agree with that criticism. Although I tried to add some emotion to the characters, in the end I'd still call it porn. Maybe I'll try and add a little more romance in future writings, whenever they might come, but I admit it would be a bit of a struggle. In short, I find it a lot easier to write an X-rated story with tiny bits of romance than a romance story that happens to be X-rated. I appreciate the feedback though, as well as the positive reaction this series has received in general.

No redeeming qualities of any of these characters… at all. The premise of imperfect people just trying to find love and a second chance is laughable, I know your story, just my observation. James should have lied to his dad and when he died, taken the money and run, leaving the lying cheating whore to find her own way. She cheated multiple times on her husband, all with her justification why, and will do so on James the minute some smooth talker or a little alcohol, comes along. Hell, look how easy Javon got her to do what she did on the beach, not to mention Javon Jr the amazing dildo, her cheating with Ana and she got into bed with Ana and David easily enough, her supposed friends. He is always going to be worried if she is going to cheat on him, His dad was right, she is easily manipulated, or just a plain simpleton, and is just a matter of time before she becomes an all-out whore for everyone else. Not that James is a likable character, seems more like a pretentious, whiny asshole. He will come home one day and see his mom getting railed by multiple guys, and will justify herself with a simple, just because they were lonely and needed some company. I wanted to like this story, but it ended up being a long, drawn out story of a cheating whore. This sounded more like a LW confessional than a loving mother/son relationship story and probably should have been in LW category.

Overall good writing, if a little long to get to the actual sex but and as you wrote it is just porn, but with as much effort in trying to develop characters, I think the husband/dad got lucky dying before he found out all the cheating his selfish wife had done, imagine the mess that would have brought on the family. Looks like he worked hard to support and provide for the family and she repaid it by cheating, doesn't even sound like she talked with her husband to let him know how she felt, typical spoiled rich bitch. If I was looking for a relationship with a woman and she told me all those stories of infidelity, she would have been dumped, unless I was looking for a temporary slut.

Come to find out, his dying wish was to get away from her. He found out about her cheating and was happy he was dying and passing this used up slut to his loser son. Fitting end, they go back to Jamaica for their "honeymoon" and the slut cuckolds her son with Javon.

Always appreciate feedback when it's constructive. Interestingly enough, the original idea was for the wife to be the angelic, pristine woman that husband and son thought she was, but once I decided she was going to be all on board with the plan and then wrote the part about the sketches it seemed a little too much for me to believe that someone like that wouldn't skeletons in her closet too. Her flaws then snowballed from there.

Good writing, and appreciate your effort, time and sharing, but another story on Lit that initially had a good build up and a lot of potential, but fell hard fast. There is nothing appealing about the mother at all, very selfish and self serving. Allegedly has remorse for cheating, has so many skeletons in her closet that it is more a graveyard, all those actions are NOT someone who has remorse, regardless of not ashamed of who she is... evidently she isn;t. I really can't see her son embracing such a deplorable person especially with history with his ex girlfriends and her cheating. The idea that it was only ever her son doesn't even come close as an explanation to her and her multiple affairs. As written, this relationship is only headed in one direction, the same result as with her dead husband, a child only locks them in together for the train wreck that is coming.

Loved this series although it was alongtime too the incest 5 stars

I enjoyed the story. My only suggestion is that you get someone to edit your stories for you.