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All Comments on 'E-Written Jack The Giant Killer'

by Lovecraft_Lore

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Gregorius_LightmouthGregorius_Lightmouthover 3 years ago

So, two things that made this story hard for me to read:

People generally don't talk the way you write dialogue. They don't all the time explain the world around them to people who should already know at least some of the information.

Secondly, you crammed way too many ideas into this story. The last paragraph just makes this abundantly clear. Honestly I couldn't even really tell afterwards what the focus of this story is. There are about 8 stories in there that each deserve their own space if you want to tell them. Kill your darlings and think about if things make sense in the context of the main story.

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userLovecraft_Lore@Lovecraft_Lore
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Hello. I try to keep the stories funny, full of magic, a back drop of Cthulhu Mythos, and at most, limited nonconsent. I love helpful feed back. If you are reading this because you liked my story, please go vote on it. Thanks. My aesthetic is HP Lovecraft, but with the ra...