All Comments on 'Easy Mark'

Lovely premise.

Nice buildup.

But the sex needed more details.

The blowjob started too abruptly. Went by too fast.

She could/should have been told to show him how she liked to play with a cock. How she kissed it. Licked it. All before taking it into her mouth and bringing him to orgasm. And some playing with his balls would have helped too.

Needed more foreplay/preliminaries before he ate her pussy.

Slow playing/teasing her breasts and nipples. Touching her ass. Lightly touching/fingering her pussy.

Four stars.

sexy af

This is a good first effort. My personal preference for this kind of story would be first-person to increase the reader's connection to Victoria, but this third-person approach also worked.

I agree with the Anonymous comments; after the slow build-up the sex seemed a bit rushed and lacked the kind of detail and internal thoughts in the earlier part of the story.

I also felt that the sharing with Paul was too much too soon; they could have had a private scene and saved the sharing for a sequel.

You did a great job with this story. Though I would have liked it to be longer, so we could see the relationship develop, you did a good job of describing “sub space”, and what it’s like to “come down” afterward. I’m a sub in real life (fiancé is “daddy”) and that feeling of being overwhelmed and crying is so real. Aftercare in these situations is so important to keep things safe. The way you wrote this part actually made me cry—it felt real, and reminded me of my own life. Great job!

The first half of this story was superbly written. I felt that it took a wrong turn, however when Victoria arrived at Mark's apartment. I agree with PatHarvey's comment, that bringing Paul into the mix was too much, too soon. Taking the photo that he threatened to send to five men, without asking her permission, was counter to Mark's earlier attitude toward Victoria. I would like to read more, but only of the developing relationship between the two, not involving sharing.

What a lovely story. I like the way they connected as M/f and also as lovers.

Absolutely loved this, I do disagree with the comments about it being too much too soon. By bringing his friend in he was aiming to fulfil her fantasy which was only confirmed by their heart to heart later on. This couple just clicked, for some it could be seen as him trying too hard to be perfect but add in the reality that Dom’s aren’t infallible that makes it feel real. This was incredibly vivid and really rang true. From the doubts and fears right through the painful anticipation to subspace and coming back to earth afterwards. An absolute pleasure to read.

Thanks for sharing

Tess (uk)