All Comments on 'Echoes 03'

The actual writing was good but when will you get back to the story? That's now two parts all about him and his MiL. Where is his wife and who was in the video?

It's beginning to be a bit boring so please reignite the actual story. That would be interesting.

too wordy and pretentious. the story has become boring

First part of this wasn't too bad but it's getting really tedious...

it was the mil who sent the note did the deed on the bed. bet she has the birth mark that chase will find. enjoyable but definitely being drug out

I have NO idea why this series isn't being rated better! Great writing style, excellent character development and story telling, what more could one ask for? I just can't wait until Bizzy shows back up, or they find where she is. 5*

Well. Story shifted. In a good way. Let the cheating entitled daughter/ex run away from her consequences. Chase deserves a real loving wife and Issy seems to be happy with him.

Well….this chapter was….boring. Guess this is going to be an “incest” tale, rather that an LW story.

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Too bad. You teed up a decent mystery about Chase and Bizzy….but seems that what just a plot device to get Chase to play with her Mom/Aunt. Which is what your other stories seem to be about. Shoulda figured.

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3 ***……and trending down.

What the fucks the matter with you? You have this guy carrying on like some teenager with no control over anything he does. Giggling away at some childish tickling game. You make him so weak and pathetic that he lets himself be used and manipulated by his slut MIL who is in her late 40's. Doesn't he have a backbone? Is he just a doormat? Why is he even letting her stay with him? It is HIS wife that has run out, after fucking one of his employees for 2 months solid. What has he done about filing for divorce? Or at least preparing for it, since she seems to have disappeared. Has he contacted the police and filed a missing person report?

OK, so when does Bizzy show back up? Did she stay pure while she ran around? Does Belly really know where she is and all this is just a test? Did Bizzy really ever love Cheese?

Still waiting but tension is mounting.

5* this took an interesting turn.

Good grief. Combine future chapters.

This series started out ok, but has ground to a boring halt. Issy and chase is not interesting.

Had to go over this chapter again.

Simply fucking fantastic!

The erotic picture was wonderfully woven and I could see and imagine the feelings of what was written.

I'm really enjoying the untangling of "Belly" and the exploration of her.

This is really good story stuff!

This story has turned into the absurd. I definitely won't waste time on the 4th.

This is one of the stories written for skimming! Saves a lot of time! The story moves so slowly forward that I almost fall asleep,

Stranger yet with Belly. What’s with all the cutesy nicknames. Seems you’ve lost the original story thread completely. Can you save this, or is it gone completely?

The original story thread is lost with the strange relationship with mother in law. I’m not sure that you can save this one after all the silly pet names like Izzy, Bizzy, and Belly. Starting to sound like a cartoon.

I am not sure where this is going. I thought part 1 was quite intriguing. I have found the next 2 parts mostly boring without the wife. I will keep reading, though.

Meh. Writing is technically good. But this story is just shit.

His MIL ID a "maneater" and by his own account a detestable kind of gold digging woman.

She gave him start up money for his very successful and lucrative business...and has a controlling interest in the business evidently. But she's making a boatload of.momey from the business. No matter what she threatens she isn't going to just shut the business down. It makes her too.mauch money.

And besides. If she does? Well HE is the business now. And he has the means to restart it all.over again. Rehire the same people. Get new equipment and lease new space and grab back all his previous customers.

He doesn't have to put up with this whorish cunt haunting his days. And it makes no sense why he would develop feelings for a slut who is at least 15 years older than he is in the midst of still trying to get over and past the heartache his wife caused. Especially since he has known his MIL since he was a child? And he knows how much she shares it around?

Sorry this story makes no sense at all. None.

Show her how much money the business is making. Tell her you held a company meeting with the employees and explained rhe situation to them. They are behind him 100 percent if she tries to close the business down? They'll all.just move to a new set of offices 2 block over. Call all.of their former clients and re-contract he same services as before with his new company. That he now owns 100 percent of. No cheating whore wife. And no slutty cunt MIL to mess with him anymore. Then grab all her stuff in your house. Load it into her car. And kick her the fuck out of your house. Tell her she has to make a decision about the company in 48 hours or he is going to proceed with closing it and relocating it anyway.

Done deal.

Easy.

Plot Holes: 1. Missing Persons Report was filed, but no hits yet?

2. Bizzy leaves w/out money, clothes or I.D.--so she went to a homeless shelter or became a whole w/ a pimp

3. What has Chase done w/ Bizzy's clothes, etc.

4. Chase locked her office door, but doesn't the business need something in it, and who is doing her work?

5. Has Chase contacted her friends?

6. Has Chase offered a reward for information or hired a P.I.?

I am really eager to know how this end, definitely not the usual formula the author uses. Wondering when will Elizabeth show up?

Is there some point to this?

Time for Bizzy to return, remorseful and chaste. Truthfully, it's well past that time. Hopefully she catches them fucking and forgives them both and they all live as a HEA threesome.

This reads like a story being drawn out simply to draw it out. I can't figure out where the author is heading with this, what the point of this story is. Is this a romance between chase and his wife's adoptive mother? The problem with a story like this that meanders is you soon stop forgetting what the point of the story is. It isn't badly written, in fact it is well written, but you are heading into territory of one of those stories written to confuse everyone that leaves it as that, a confusing mess. I think it would be a lot better if it was a little more direct.

Excellent!

Well did not see the story arc going in this direction.

Hmmmm, I think you got me here. I think, I liked it so far. Keep it coming.

Captcha

If scoring the story on technical merit this was easily a 5 star. The fact that son-in-law and mother-in-law are turning into two sex addicts while waiting for the missing wife to return lowers the level several notches. Starting to get too strange for me.

Unh unh unh hmmm LP

I couldn't remember why this story was rated so high.

Reading it again I realize the Mil porn is what is causing the high ratings,lol.

Technically well written, unfortunately the last two chapters should be it's own story.

I'm

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AMerryman

Been there done that...but not with my damn MIL!

Bonnie looked stunned. I asked her if she had had an orgasm before. She looked at me with confused eyes and said, "I thought i had". But it didn't happen with my fucking MIL!!!! And yeah, I was a much younger man.

The author can write, that's not the problem. It's just the little inexplicable bits that stick in the craw. Calling a woman considerably older than yourself "sweet girl" is really creepy and off putting. Strangely it makes me think of the gay uncle in Withnail and I.

Still why is he allowing her to stay, why can't he find his wife ..

is he even trying, why is this even in LW being that we've seen zero existence of one and for the most part she hasn't even had a scene.