Ed and Diane, a second chance

"Hi everyone, I'm Diane."

"Hi Diane" the room echoed

"I just wanted to thank everyone here for all the warmth and support you have given me. You have helped me heal to the point that I believe I can move on. I thought I might have found it here but unfortunately no. So today is my last meeting. My lease is up on my place and I've decided to move down to be with family and start over again. Thank you."

She said all this while looking into my eyes, when she finished she ran from the room. I ran after her.

"What happened to the bad ass bitch?" i yelled

"What?"

"When I met you, you said you were a bad ass bitch."

"I am."

"Then why are you leaving?"

"Because I'm finally in love again and they don't see me. It hurts too much to stay."

She had found someone and it was wrenching my guts out, but I couldn't lose her too"

"So make them see you."

"I've tried to show them, they pull away."

"So don't let them, you should force the issue. You deserve to be happy."

"And how would you suggest I get it through their thick head?"

"Say, Hey asshole, I love you and need you to be a part of my life."

"Just like that?"

"Exactly."

"Hey asshole, I love you and need you to be a part of my life."

"You got it"

"No, I mean, Ed, I love you and I need you, more than as a friend and I need you to be open with me. I need to know what you're thinking and feeling."

"Oh."

"Yeah Oh, you oblivious idiot"

"I don't know what to say to that."

Diane just looked sadder.

"That's why I'm leaving."

"I don't want you to go."

"Why are you closed off Ed, what happened that you won't talk about?"

I stood there in silence. tears rolled down both our cheeks. Diane walked over to me and kissed my lips.

"Goodbye Ed."

I spoke, barely above a whisper.

"I'll tell you."

"Everything?"

"All of it."

She pulled me to the side of my truck and climbed in the passenger side.

"Can you bring me back to pick up my car in the morning?"

"Lets pickup dinner and something to drink." I said

We got back to my house with some Italian food and a bottle of red. I served us both up our food, and went to pour the wine.

"None for me, I need to keep a clear head about everything" she stopped me

"Yeah, I get it."

I could tell that this was the last ditch effort by both of us to salvage our relationship. We ate and talked like nothing had changed but there was an undercurrent that held the tension. When we finished I rinsed the plates. Grabbing her hand I led her to the couch.

"I haven't talked about this to anyone, not even my therapist, even if he already knew what happened. I am going to share with you and it's going to be very hard for me so please be patient. I hope you can understand why I don't want to talk about it when i'm done"

She shook her head yes and I started.

It was three days before Christmas, the storms were in full effect that year. I had just left my latest meeting with a parts manufacturer to iron out the details on a licensing agreement. I had been working later and later the last few weeks trying to push the deal through. My wife was at home with our 18 month old and another on the way. The first pregnancy had been really tough on Lisa and postpartum depression was starting to rear its head again with the second pregnancy. I stopped to pick up Chinese, Lisa's favorite. Hopefully this would help her mood, if even a little bit. I tried calling the house to let her know I was on my way home with dinner but she didn't answer. That should have been the first clue. She always answered.

I saw the glow of the flames before I even turned onto our road. I raced down the rest of the road only to see the first story fully engulfed. The car jumped the curb and I was out of the door. The heat pushed me back from the entrance.

"Lisa!" I screamed "Lisa, Where are you?"

I raced around the house looking for her, an escape she could have used, or a way in, the fire bellowed out of the windows, the rolling flames climbing the exterior, Glass shattering as the temperature increased. I ran to the front of the house and in desperation grabbed the brass doorknob. The knob decorations melted into my flesh. I screamed and grabbed a handful of snow to stop the pain.

"Somebody please help!" I yelled as loud as my voice could go, only to be drowned out by the roars of the blaze.

I looked up and saw Lisa, she was in the 2nd story window looking down at me. She was holding our baby to her chest.

"Lisa jump out and I'll catch you!"

She looked at me again and then around the neighborhood, she looked back into the house and I could see the room behind her begin to glow. The flames had reached her.

"Lisa, I can save you!"

I couldn't hear her over the fire, but I read her lips when she looked back at me.

"I'm sorry."

She stepped backwards into the room.

By that time neighbors had been alerted to the commotion and had called the fire department. Two of the husbands had to hold me back from entering the building to join my wife as their own wives stared in horror. A ball of flame erupted from the window Lisa had been standing at and in that moment, I knew my family was gone forever. The fire crews arrived and put out the fire but not before there was nothing but framing left. I fell to the ground, my life was forfeit.

I looked up at Diane, tears flowed freely from both our eyes.

"I found out later, I had to be sedated in the hospital for a hold to make sure I wasn't a danger to myself. The final report determined that the fire was an accident due to an unattended candle left down stairs. But I knew the truth, Lisa was fastidious about safety and would never leave a candle lit. The coroner's report showed that my son had died well before the fire started. His cause of death was listed as sudden infant death. After I read the report, I knew what happened. Lisa had found our son, he was already gone. And with her already delicate state of mind, it was just too much. She lit the candle and placed it close to the curtains, went upstairs and held our son until the end."

Diane cried with me for the rest of the night.

We made love again the next morning but knew we still had to face a new problem. Diane's lease was up and had nowhere to go. She said that she could stay there another week but after that she was homeless. I had an answer in my head but knew that just talking about it wouldn't help. I needed action and to show Diane how I felt. I dropped her at her car with instructions to grab a change of clothes and come back to my place. Where I wanted to go was only a few blocks away and If I was quick I could beat her home. I paced back and forth in my living room and waited. Diane walked in the door a few minutes later and I dropped down on one knee.

"Diane, will you marry me?"

Tears welled up in her eyes as I held up the ring.

"I'm sorry Ed but no."

I was devastated.

"I will move in with you but I can't marry you, not yet anyway. I love you so much but this is a lot to happen in a few hours and I don't want you to regret this. Let's live together and if you still want to marry me at the end of the year, then I'll marry you. I want you to be sure."

"I am sure Diane."

"Then tell me you love me."

"What?" I stumbled

"Ed, I cant marry you cant even say that."

"I cant Lisa"

Anger flashed in her eyes.

"I'm not you fucking dead wife."

She knew she had fucked up the instant she said it but it was to late.

"Fuck you!" i screamed

I grabbed the key to my truck and took off out the door.

"Ed, Im sorry, come back"

But I refused to listen and peeled out of the driveway.

The grass was lush and green, a soft breeze tickled against my body. The puffy white clouds drifted overhead.

"Hello Ed."

It was a Lisas voice. I sat up and looked around, I was on a small hill at a playground, Lisa stood next to me and two small children played on the nearby swing set.

"Hi Lisa, you look happy."

"I am happy. I'm not sick anymore."

"That's good, I'm really happy for you."

"I'm so sorry I wasn't strong enough Ed." the sorrow evident in her voice

"No, I'm sorry, I knew you were sick. I should have done more."

"Ed, it's ok. We are happy here." she said pointing at the children

"Is that our children? They are too old."

"Yes, that's our children. Time works a little differently here."

Suddenly Lisa looked years younger, like the girl I first met in university

"Kids, you can come say hi to your father now."

The young boy and girl grabbed hands and walked towards us, swinging their arms. By the time they were in front of me they were in their early teens.

"Hi Dad, its me Thomas" the young man said

"And I'm Alicia" said the girl

"Alicia?" my voice caught

"Yeah mom named me after Grandma, hope that's cool?"

I pulled my children into my arms and hugged them so close.

"I think it's a great name. I love you two so very much"

"See i told you he would like you" Thomas teased

"Jerk." Alicia replied punching her brother

"Am I in heaven?" i asked them all

"That's an easy yet complicated question. This is more like a halfway point in between. Normally this kind of thing is not allowed, it upsets the order of things. But it was felt that you needed a little guidance.

"What for? I'm with my family now. What else could I need?"

"Honey," Lisa paused. "You can't stay."

"Why, " I cried. I can't live without you."

"Your children need you." Thomas said

"I know why I need to stay."

"Not us daddy, your other children." Alicia said

"They haven't been born yet." Lisa explained

"Diane doesn't even know yet, but she is pregnant."

"Lisa. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to betray you."

"Oh my sweet Edward, you have not betrayed me. She was meant to be a part of our family and your other children will be so amazing."

"She's lovely by the way." Lisa winked

"Eww mom" both kids giggles

"Will I see you again?" i asked

"Of course Dad." both kids cried

"Yes Dear, but it's time to go back now."

Lisa took on a serious look and touched my chest

"This is going to hurt. Sorry"

Pain surged through my chest. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. I lay in a hospital room, running to my body and a bandage over my chest. Diane's head lay asleep on the bed next to me. Her hand was laced with mine.

My throat was dry and harsh.

"Diane."

She opened her eyes and looked at me.

"Oh my god Ed, I was so worried."

"Im sorry Diane, I shouldn't have yelled"

"Don't worry about that right now. It's not important today"

"Your still with me and that all I care about"

"I love you Diane"

"You do?" she asked with tears in her eyes

"Are you sure it's not the trauma talking? Your truck did get hit by a downed power line and you technically died for a minute." she laughed

It was weeks before I was able to be fully mobile and come home. Diane had moved in to take care of me. It was slow going and painful but I would make a full recovery. I knew it was time. Diane had placed breakfast down at the table and was about to sit.

"Diane, wait."

She came back over to me.

"I know you said I needed to be sure, and I've never been so sure in my life. Diane, will you please marry me?

"Yes, I will marry you." she said with the biggest smile in the world

"And you better be ready for a family, I'm pregnant."

"Twins." I said

"Whoa there mister, I just took the test this morning. Haven't gone to the Doctors yet."

"Ok, but I know it's twins"

"How do you know?"

I had no clue, but deep in my soul I knew it was twins, a boy and a girl. And I was proven right a few months later at our first sonogram.

Diane and I got married soon after and I was welcomed into the family with open arms.

My in-laws smothered our son Lucas, after Diana's first husband, and our daughter Abigail after my first wife's middle name. Lucas grew like a weed and was so smart. He was first in his class and got a scholarship to harvard. He later married and provided us with two beautiful grandchildren. Abigail or I should say Doctor Abigail grew up and became a psychiatrist marrying her long time girlfriend and the both became the best aunts ever to our grandchildren. As part of Abigail's medical life she pioneered research into postpartum depression, helping treat millions of women all over the world. As for Diane and I, well I guess we really couldn't live without one another, I passed in my sleep followed by Diane a week later.

I was together with my family now, Diane, Lisa, Luke, Diane's first husband, Thomas, Alica and myself. We watch and wait for my other children until the day we can all go home together.