All Comments on 'Eden Takes Charge Pt. 02'

Good story and writing, but too short. Thanks

Still a good premise.

Still too short. Just a teaser -- to the readers, not just to James.

Seems as if it's getting to somewhere good, but isn't there yet.

The first two chapters ahould have been added to whatever is to come next to make one, longer chapter.

Four stars

I understand the concerns raised about the brevity of your two stories. I on the other hand, think that there shortness creates and sustains the very tension Eden is doing in the story. Your story breaks are like the cooling period when edging. Genius! Following this line of approach I suggest maybe more time building up to the point of need a cool down. Maybe your chapter 3&4 can be a retelling of 1&2 from Edens’ perspective. With 5 as a climatic shared narration… just a thot 😀. Either way, loving your creativity and writing.

Thanks, people.

Part 3 is now up but Lit has posted it as a stand alone story rather than the third part of this series. Anyone know how I can fix that?

Meanwhile, it's here: https://www.literotica.com/s/eden-takes-charge-pt-03

Great story - very erotic- can’t wait for the next chapter