Emily 2.0 Ch. 01

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"I have no idea how I'm going to adapt to walking about naked or keeping my mouth shut if someone says something really sexist or debasing to me, but I guess I'll have to try," Emily responded. "Please do what you can to get us home again as soon as possible, Collingwood. I'm not sure how long I can last in this fucked up misogynistic environment."

"That I will, Captain, you can rest assured. Speaking of which, I must be off. The General has issued me a lab, and a car is waiting to take me there. The sooner I start, the sooner I can get all of us home again. Jenkins is a new father and is fretting he may never see his son again, and your situation alone is enough to put this place behind us ASAP, as adorable as you are in your current state of undress."

"It amazes me how you can be both pal and pig in the same breath, Collingwood," Emily replied, shaking her head slowly in disbelief at his insensitivity.

Collingwood smiled in response.

"Think of the science, Captain. This is an opportunity for us to observe a completely different culture, as abhorrent as we may find it at this moment," he added, perhaps in an attempt to cheer her up. In his mind it was about the science. He looked at everything with such complete pragmatism that he almost had no concept of where the line existed between morality and depravity. He wasn't abhorred by this world as much as he was fascinated by it. "Now, as hard as it is for me to drag myself away from your naked loveliness, I shall bid you farewell for the moment. I will check in on you at every opportunity and track you down should you become part of the system here so I can keep you updated with my progress."

"Thank you, Collingwood. Anything you can do will be much appreciated. I feel so alone right now, and I'm really frightened about what's going to happen to me."

"I understand perfectly, and for the record, I am sorry this has happened to you."

And with that he turned and departed. Emily suddenly realised how uplifting it had been to see a familiar face but was also glad at last to relax her position and lay on her stomach again. Her butt was still stinging badly, and it had been more than a little uncomfortable to sit on it. If it weren't for the sake of modesty, she wouldn't have done it at all, but better that than allow Collingwood to see any more of her than absolutely necessary.

At least another hour passed before another voice roused Emily from her troubled thoughts. This time it was female.

"Hello?"

Emily turned to see a naked woman standing outside her cell with a cop. The cop opened her cell and let the woman in.

"Hello, I am your social worker, and I am here to help you any way I can," the woman began.

"Emily," Emily greeted while holding out her hand.

"Err... ok," the woman replied, while taking her hand.

"Oh, I'm sorry, do you not shake hands here? Where I'm from it's the normal greeting," Emily responded.

"Oh no, it is fine. I was just startled that you used a child's name."

"A child's name? Um... ok. What name do you go by then?"

The woman appeared puzzled by that for a moment.

"No, it is me who should be sorry perhaps. Did your education not extend to reading?" she asked with some concern, while placing her thumb under her collar to hold the tag out. "I am 4NRP4W."

Emily looked at the silver tag fastened to the black leather collar around her neck and noticed it was clearly engraved with large characters spelling out "4NRP4W". It was so bizarre to see.

Women aren't even allowed to have names here?

She wondered what possible reason there could be for that other than to demean them even further.

"Oh, sorry. You're right. Yes, I can read," Emily replied, trying to cover whatever error in judgment she had made. "Um... I'm not from around here and I'm still getting used to the way you do things."

"I understand you were raised off-grid and have not yet undergone Debutante?" 4NRP4W asked.

"Umm... yes, I guess so," Emily replied cautiously.

"Well, it is rather obvious. You use a child's name, you have hairs around your coupling area and you wear no collar. No grown woman would be seen in such a state otherwise."

The mention of pubic hair drew Emily's eyes down between 4NRP4W's legs and she saw that she had no hair there at all. As a matter of fact, such had been the state of every other woman she had seen. Why had she not noticed it until now? That must be what the comments from the cops were about. No one here was used to seeing it on a woman. Was that to be her fate here as well? As if being nude wasn't enough...

"Tell me 4NR... err P4W, what is to become of me?" Emily asked.

"Just use '4NR' if it is easier. It is usually the way between friends, as I am sure we will be soon enough," 4NR responded. "To answer your question, I have been assigned to get you ready for Debutante tomorrow night. Normally girls are given a one-month course prior to Debutante but considering your age it is now a matter of urgency. The course will have to wait until afterwards in your case."

"Can you tell me what will happen to me at Debutante?" Emily asked, dreading what she might be told.

"You do not know Debutante? It is a coming-of-age celebration. It is the most important day of a girl's life. She looks forward to it more than anything," 4NR began. "One month before her nineteenth birthday, a girl becomes a deb and officially begins her training. Then on the week of her birthday she is revealed to all and is coupled for the first time as the world watches. After that she is a woman. It happens every Friday night for all of the girls coming of age that week, and it is uplinked live in every shire. It is our most popular Vid show. How can you not have seen it?"

"Um... we didn't have it where I grew up," Emily lied. Well, she'd never seen that show anyway.

"My, you have been kept in the dark. I guess I have a lot of work before me," 4NR pondered out loud.

Wait, coupled for the first time? That can't be right...

Emily suddenly realised that, apparently, she was to have sex on camera.

"Um... can you tell me what will actually happen to me during the ceremony?" Emily asked with concern.

"Little more than I just told you, but there are some ceremonial details we will need to go over. I will guide you through the particulars in the morning when I come to collect you. The court has assigned me to you, and you shall reside with me at least until you have completed your Debutante course. Unfortunately, the police will not let me take you away tonight."

"Are you saying I have to have sex with a man on camera tomorrow night?" Emily clarified. "A man I haven't met before, and in front of people?"

"Well, five men actually. It would not be a proper Debutante if the new woman was coupled to just one," 4NR replied candidly, as if it was no big deal at all, which apparently it wasn't in this world.

Five? So, I'm going to be gang-banged???

"All of them at once, or consecutively?" Emily asked in horror, as if one option was better than the other.

4NR just smiled.

"I am sure you have lots of questions and I will answer them all without judgement tomorrow," she replied. "I feel saddened you have suffered such an abusive upbringing that you are not informed of such things, or that you seem to think it is a bad thing. The greatest honours in a woman's life are to give pleasure and to reproduce."

4NR gave a sad smile and placed her hand on Emily's knee. Emily felt somewhat comforted that she seemed to have a sympathetic friend here at least, and someone who might be able to give her some answers, but the things she had been telling her about what lay in store for her were beginning to make her feel weak and nauseous.

4NR departed at that, waving and smiling to Emily as the door to the cell closed and locked once again.

Emily's mind was racing. She didn't like the idea of Debutante at all. Being 'revealed to all'? Gang-bangs? An audience? Cameras?

What the fuck is wrong with the people here?

She was alone in a strange place, nude and cold. There wasn't even a damn blanket to cover herself up with, and her butt was still stinging like a motherfucker! Sleep did not come easily.

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5 Comments
maddictmaddictover 3 years ago

To boldly go where no woman (we know) has gone before. "(!)"

velcrofistvelcrofistover 3 years agoAuthor

Great idea to use more body language and facial expressions! Thanks also for Seahawk76 and lizstanton8181. I already have those two in my favourites. ;)

I started reading Saturday Night School by jessica_tang_vonharper yesterday and so far it's pretty good stuff. She is really good at getting the detail across without getting too bogged down in it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
In regard to the other comment about repitition...

It never bothered me about the story at all, but if it does become something you notice as you write, there are alternatives to eliminating sentences altogether...

You could describe her facial expressions, such as 'jaw dropped', or 'looked to the floor to avoid their stares'. Also, body language and blushes convey the same thing, like 'face burned bright red', and 'froze in shock'. Sloppy examples but they explain my point I think.

Tons of interesting ways to describe embarrassment and humiliation. I think you do a fine job of it already. Other great examples to look to IMO are a couple of excellent Mailgirl story authors (one of my favorite genres, and one I think this story is very similar to) Seahawk76 and lizstanton8181, their stories are amazing at detailing the embarrassment of coerced public exhibition.

One thing I believe your story has a huge advantage over their stories is your willingness to include explicit acts in a rewarding way for the reader, as I commented before it gets downright annoying in their stories sometimes how they tease possible sexual encounters and then pull back.

The thing I think that genre has which I miss here in your story is the 'voluntary' contractual nature of the main character's submission... Where it is a slippery sloped trap they fall into and subject themselves to worse situations. I think Emily's submission is all internal, which is fun... But if there were more illusion of choice in her power exchanges it would be great. Chapter 3 was amazing though so don't think I'm knit picking, love how it's going!

velcrofistvelcrofistover 3 years agoAuthor

Thanks heaps for your feedback. It's great to get someone else's perspective. I was trying to really emphasise what was going on in her head and what she was feeling, and there's just not enough synonyms that I think people would actually use in their internal monologues in those circumstances. I tried to throw in a few mortifyings, debasings and degradings, and I thought I had a reasonable balance in the end. Still, sometimes you just need someone else to read it and point it out. If I do a rewrite one day I'll just cut a few of those sentences out I think. Cheers!

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago

You write quite well but might want to take a word count of how many times you used "humiliate", "humiliation" and "humiliating". The number is dizzying.

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