All Comments on 'Emily, Disaffected'

... of a girl that I once knew ... nice work. Thanks for sharing!

Well done

The author has to be either a kid or lacks knowledge of erotic writing. The use of "spunk" is wrong as its an attitude form, not slang or common term for "sprem/semen/orgasm/etc." thus showing how poor a writer the author likely is.

Wow anonymous, that was slightly harsh. Next time, why don't you stand by your comment and leave us with a name. As for me, the story was well written and executed beautifully. Well done! It's nice to find someone on Lit who can spell check and use the English language appropriately.

Hmm, Anon, I think that if I could have written as well as CeliaisAliena when I was "just a kid" I'd be overjoyed because I'd be a fucking virtuoso by now.

This is a gorgeous little summary of how alienating and combative it can be to exist as a modern teenager, balancing peer expectations and personal needs. The flashes of contemporary teen argot amidst the lyrical flow of the narrative only serve to remind the reader that the narrator too is "just a kid". Beautifully done.

From one anon to another, the author did a great job. They wrote about what it's like to be a square peg in a round world. They wrote about caring for someone and their ideas as a much needed aphrodisiac. Spunk is most definitely slang for semen. You may not like it used that way, and that's fine. However, it has been used for such a long time, it has become the "norm".

I was going to seriously abuse the author(anonymously of course)for her own provocation. Then decided the writing is exquisite. And the words of the fabulous maestro came to mind; I'm a lot like you were. 5 stars...

The opening is one of the best I've read on this site, or many others. You did a great job putting us in your protagonist's place, getting inside her mind. Wonderful job, please keep it up!

(My 2¢ on the "spunk" issue: I've usually heard it as British slang for semen. Yes, it is also an attitude, but that does not mean it that is its sole definition. "Run" with that.)

A well deserved "E" for style, execution and mastery of a language often bastardized, especially here on Lit. Those who criticize the use of a simple word, need to get a life. Keep writing - you have talent.

...because I get angry at people who are insecure with who they are and blame it on everyone else (having been one myself). But the more I read, the more I realized how well the author represented that kind of person, and how well written the story was.

Anon who has a problem with usage of the work "spunk" doesn't need to be told to go fuck himself, since that's all he's probably getting anyway.

My only pet peeve is a small one, and it's not about the writing. The Greek author is Virgil, not Vergil. If that's the worst thing wrong with your story, there's nothing wrong with it at all. Good job.

I'm signing this Anon because I don't have a user account.

"Virgil" is the Catholicized version. The Roman author's name was Publius Vergilius Maro - "Vergil" is a more accurate shortening. The medieval Catholic church changed the spelling so that it would be closer to "virgin."

Although my instincts are to get all hurt and pouty over the slander against us little 'retarded' 'hobbits' chanting middle English in our burrows, I was able to get over myself and enjoy the story for what it was. ;-)

I thought it was very well written and enjoyed it immensely. It reminded me of all my students, who probably do see me as some dorky hobbit, but who I can't help but feel that warm yet patronizing affection for, because I thought the same damn thing when I was them.

Anyhoo, yes, I thought it was teeeeeriffic. Thanks for sharing.