Emma and Jeff

'Storm' was the word that came to mind as I watched her get out of the car - a dark cloud coming up the driveway, signalling heavy weather on the way. There was an aura around her as if lightning could strike at any moment. Suddenly, the thought of her staying with me looked like a bad idea, a very bad idea. She was pretty, petite, and looked about as friendly as a live grenade. She saw me standing at the door and returned my smile with a sullen glare.

"Um, hi, Emma. It's good to see you. It's been a while."

She shrugged and stood at the bottom of the steps, arms folded, looking off into the distance as her parents caught up. I'd never seen my sister and her husband look so utterly exhausted. Nora had that blank look, the soldier's thousand-yard stare. Greg struggled to offer me a smile.

"Hey, Jeff. It's good to see you."

"C'mon in, everyone. You look like you could use a rest after that long trip. We can bring Emma's stuff in later. Make yourselves comfortable and I'll get us something to drink. Tea, coffee, soda?"

"Anything stronger?" Greg pleaded.

"Sure, Greg. How about a beer?"

"I'd love one, thanks."

"Nora, a glass of wine?"

My sister looked up. "Hmm? Oh, I think a glass of red would help. Thanks, Jeff."

I turned to Emma. She was folded up in my favourite wingchair, hugging her legs, her chin on her knees. "How about you, Emma? Can I get you something?"

She stared at the floor and shook her head, saying nothing.

Nora let out an exasperated sigh. "Emma, could you please be even just a little polite? Uncle Jeff is really going out of his way for you. The least you could do is be civil."

"Fuck that," Emma said as she stormed out of the room, heading for the front door.

"Emma!" her mother cried. "For god's sake!" She turned to me. "I'm so sorry, Jeff. We had no idea she would still be like this. We thought it might be difficult but, my god, three days on the road with that set of claws was almost unbearable. I won't blame you at all if you change your mind. We can pull the plug on the whole idea and go home."

"No. Don't even think that. I said I would. It's a big house, there's plenty of room for both of us. She won't even know I'm here if that's what she wants. And the campus is literally around the corner. She couldn't find a better place."

Greg spoke up. "Thanks, Jeff. I gotta say, you're going way above and beyond. The tuition back home was steep enough, but this school is on a whole other level. We could never afford residence costs on top of it. We owe you big time."

"No, you don't. I don't want to hear another word about it. I told you my door was open for her. End of. I mean, who knew she'd do so well? This is the only place capable of challenging her, right? This will happen. It must be incredibly difficult to change schools in the middle of a year, but I won't let you down. I won't let her down. She stays."

My sister's eyes glistened as she came and hugged me tightly. "Thank you so much, dear big brother. You have no idea what this means to me, to us."

"Hey, we're family, it's what we do," I said, hugging her back. She followed me into the kitchen as I went to pour our drinks. "What happened, Nora? I can understand the challenge she's in for, but why is she in such a foul mood?"

"In a word? Professors." Nora sighed as she leaned against the counter. "Or more to the point, one particular professor. Emma accused her advisor of assaulting her when they were alone in her office, but she had no way of proving it. Things got very ugly. It was a 'she said, she said' situation that the school wanted to just go away. Nobody believed a female prof would do that to a student. The shit really hit the fan when Emma threatened to go to the police, proof, or no proof. The dean of students called us in and suggested in no uncertain terms that we find Emma another school. It was an impossible situation all round. She thinks we really let her down by going along with the dean's advice but there's no way she could have stayed there, not after something like that. I know she's hurting; she's built walls around herself a thousand feet high. She doesn't trust anyone."

"Ah, I see. I get it now. I thought she wanted to finish her degree at a top-tier school. She certainly has the smarts for it."

"Well, honestly yes, that is part of the story, and I'm sorry for keeping quiet on this. It's too bad; that prof was so qualified to guide her. Even if they'd let Emma stay, there was no one else on the faculty who could keep up with her. She was lucky to be accepted here but it'll be almost like starting over. I really feel for her. She's under a tremendous amount of pressure."

I gave my little sister a tight squeeze. "Hey, we'll get her through this. She'll come round. I can feel it in my bones. This is all going to work out, no matter how dark it seems right now."

Nora pulled a loose strand of hair out of her eyes. "I hope you're right. If she could only see that we just want her to be okay."

We finished our drinks and headed outside to gather Emma's luggage from the car. She was sitting on a bench surrounded by the lush greenery of the gardens. My home was an oasis on the edge of the downtown core, set back from the road, private, serene. I was in the right place at the right time when it came on the market so long ago and as time passed, my wife and I had planted and shaped it into a miniature Eden. Emma was just a toddler back then, waddling along the garden paths when Nora and Greg came to visit. Living so far away kept us apart more than we hoped. Emma had grown shocking amounts each time we got together, first a chubby little baby girl, soon a gangly preteen and now an attractive young woman. She was petite like my sister, with those same big, beautiful eyes.

Greg called her over to help with the luggage. Surprisingly, she pitched in right away, struggling with an enormous suitcase that probably weighed as much as she did.

"Can I give you a hand with that, Emma? That thing's huge."

Those beautiful eyes fired daggers at me. "I got it."

I shrugged and watched her fight that suitcase up the porch steps and through the door. Poor thing. She was so determined to be angry, there was nothing to do but let her be. Hopefully, in time...

We brought everything up to my daughter's old bedroom and left Emma alone. I wondered whether some time spent unpacking and sorting might distract her enough to calm her down. Nora, Greg, and I headed back to the living room.

"After that epic drive, I hope you'll at least stay the night," I asked.

Nora looked at Greg, then shook her head. "Thanks, Jeff. Under any other circumstances we would love to, but I think Emma's had about all she can take of us right now. It's early enough to start home. I hope that doesn't sound like we want to cut and run."

"Not at all. To be honest, it seems you two really need a break. Go on and say your goodbyes. I'll put a snack and some drinks together for the road."

I could hear voices overhead as I stood in the kitchen, sometimes getting louder, like waves crashing on a rocky shore. I felt badly for them, to see my own family going through such a rough patch. I was determined to do whatever I could to help them through it.

Nora and Greg came back downstairs, and I met them in the front hall. Nora's eyes were red, her cheeks wet. I hugged her tightly and kissed her, then gave Greg's hand a good, firm shake. "It's gonna be okay, guys. You just need some space. Take a deep breath. It may take the rest of the year, but she'll come round. I'll make sure she's okay, I promise." I stood on the porch as they circled around onto the street and waved goodbye. I waited until they were out of sight before I went back inside. I started up the stairs to check on my niece but then hesitated. It had been years since my own moody kids had sulked in their rooms. Was I really prepared to face that dragon again? I turned back and headed for the den, poured myself a finger of whiskey and slumped down into the deep sofa facing the television.

I'd been mindlessly surfing the channels for a couple of hours when a girl-shaped shadow appeared at the door. "Emma?" She edged into the room, silent, her eyes lowered. I motioned to the other end of the sofa. "Hey, c'mon in, put your feet up. You must be tired, hmm?" She curled up into a tight ball at the far end of the couch, staring blankly at the screen in front of us. Her eyes were red, swollen. She looked completely worn out. "Can I... can I get you something? You must be hungry by now." She turned, keeping her eyes down, and nodded.

"Yes, please," she whispered.

I patted the empty space between us and got up. "I think this is a good night for junk food. And maybe a soda?"

"Thanks, Uncle Jeff," she said, nodding again.

I came back with a bowlful of chips and a frosty glass of cola. I set the bowl down between us and handed her the glass. As she took it, she looked at the decanter of whiskey on the table beside me, then back at her glass. I thought, what the hell, she's old enough. Maybe it'll settle her nerves. "Would you like me to make that a little stronger for you?"

She looked up at me, surprised. "Really?"

"Emma, as far as I'm concerned, you're an adult and when you're under my roof you're going to be treated like one. Give me your glass." I added a splash to her drink and handed it back to her. "Just take your time with it, okay? You've had a tough day. I don't want you getting buzzed your first night here. Have some chips first."

I swear that for a split second, I saw the tiniest smile appear.

Baby steps.

I finally settled on a movie I thought she might enjoy, something that didn't confirm she was now living with an embarrassing dinosaur of an uncle completely out of touch with the here and now. Yes, yes, my kids were grown, I was semi-retired, and for good measure, alone. I'd been on my own for years now, but I sometimes told myself I was still with it, still cool. I'd spent an evening or two at some of the better bars in town, been on the occasional date, but nothing serious ever came of any of it. My heart simply wasn't in it. I had a small circle of friends, a few pastimes here and there, but for the most part I kept to myself. Having Emma stay with me was the biggest event in quite a while.

By time the credits rolled I could barely keep my eyes open. She had been so still and quiet during the film that I'd forgotten she was at the other end of the couch. I looked at her as I pried myself up to my feet. She was fast asleep, her empty glass on the table beside her. Well, good for her, I thought. She needed a rest. I took the bowl and glasses to the kitchen and brought a light throw to cover her. It was a comfy couch, there was no need to disturb her. I left the hall light on and headed for bed.

I tiptoed down the stairs the next morning, hoping not to wake her. I peeked into the den and saw that the couch was empty. She hadn't made a sound last night. I prayed she was up in her room, that she hadn't decided to ditch it all and disappear. It would have been mightily difficult to tell my sister that her daughter had vanished the first night she'd spent in my home. I crept up the stairs again. Her door was ajar. I pushed it open slightly, enough to see her tucked in, the clothes she'd worn yesterday over the back of a chair. I eased the door shut and headed down to the kitchen. The coffee was already brewing as I popped a couple of slices into the toaster and sat down. While I waited, I scrolled past the unanswered questions, big and small, that ran through my mind. What did she like for breakfast? What was her course schedule? What did she like to do with her free time? And the biggest one, how on Earth was this going to work? I felt guilty for not knowing even the most basic details. Sure, we hadn't seen much of each other over the years but still, she was my niece. I ought to have asked more questions. I didn't want her to feel like a total stranger here.

I was buttering the toast when she came in and sat down across from me at the table. I looked up, surprised. She was wearing an oversized t-shirt and, from what I could tell, nothing else. "Hey, hi. Good morning. I didn't expect to see you up so soon." She sagged in the chair, head propped up on her arm, still looking tired. "There's coffee, can I pour you a cup?"

She yawned and nodded. "Thanks, Uncle Jeff. And thanks for last night. It was nice. I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you yesterday."

"You've had a rough time lately, Emma. Your mum got me up to speed on your situation. Nobody expects you to be all sweetness and light while this sorts itself out, okay?"

She seemed a completely different person from yesterday afternoon. The white-hot anger had disappeared. Her eyes welled up; her bottom lip began to quiver. I came around the table and sat next to her, putting my hand lightly on her shoulder.

"Hey now, it's okay, honestly. No judgement, not from me." Her shoulders shook as she buried her face in her hands. I rubbed her back softly. "Shh, Emma, it's alright. Is it okay if I give you a hug? It seems like you could use one." She turned and wrapped her thin arms around me, her head pressed against my shoulder. I held her gently, stroking her hair, rocking her. "It doesn't feel like it right now, but I promise you things will get better. I know what those dark places can be like. I'm on your side, Emma."

She sat back, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "Thanks, Uncle Jeff," she sniffed. "I wanted to hate being here, but I knew right away I was wrong. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I kissed her forehead. "Okay, enough apologising. It's a different day and your coffee's getting cold. Is toast okay for breakfast or can I get you something else?"

She sniffed. "No, toast is good, thanks. I never have much in the morning."

"Got it. Well, mi casa es su casa, alright? This is your home as much as you want it to be. When we're done here, I'll give you a little tour so you know your way around. I've made some changes since you were last here. It's gotta be, what, three or four years?"

"I guess so," she nodded.

We finished the toast and drained our coffee cups. I got up and took our plates and mugs to the dishwasher. "Ready?"

"Sure." She stood up.

"I, ahh... do you want to get dressed first?" I tried not to look but it was evident that the t-shirt was pretty much all she was wearing. As I said, she was petite, but she had definitely matured since last I saw her. Two noticeable bumps indicated bare nipples under the thin fabric. The shirt was only a few inches below her hips. I'm sure she noticed the quick scan I'd just given her.

She shrugged. "No, I'm okay. I'll get dressed for class later."

We headed off through the house, walking from room to room. We stopped at my office. "I've cut back on the amount of time I spend at the office anymore. I mostly work from home now. I know Cassie's... I mean, your bedroom is set up with a desk and all but you're welcome to use the office whenever you want a change of scenery." We headed toward the rear where a long conservatory spanned the width of the house. It overlooked an infinity-edged spa that sent a cascade of water into a lap pool below. There was a diving board at the far end. She gave a low whistle. "Nice, hmm? You haven't been here since I replaced the old one with this setup. It's great for this ageing body of mine. I use it almost every day." I looked at my watch. "In fact, I'm probably going to do a few laps before work. You're welcome to use it anytime you want."

"That's awesome. Thanks."

"So, that's pretty much it. As I said, my home is your home, Emma. Don't be shy about taking advantage of it. I want you to feel comfortable here, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, Uncle Jeff." A tiny smile formed.

I followed as we both headed upstairs to our rooms. Stupidly, I glanced up as she climbed the stairs. Bare cheeks peeked out from under her shirt. I looked away, scolding myself. Jesus H, Jeff! What the hell are you doing? She's your niece for god's sake!

I was on the last few of my laps when she appeared at the side of the pool. I came over and leaned on the edge, looking up at her. She truly had matured since I last saw her. Her one-piece swimsuit hugged some very sensuous curves, beautifully proportioned. I did my best to keep my eyes up, looking at her face.

"Hi. Do you mind if I use the spa?"

"You don't need my permission, Emma. Remember, this is your place, your home as much as mine. If you want to use the spa, then go ahead and use the spa. Okay?"

"Okay. Thanks."

I finished my laps, leaving her to herself in the swirling hot water. I gave her a wave and headed inside to take care of a few business tasks. I'd been at my desk for a couple of hours when she came and stood at the door. "I'm gonna head over to campus now. Probably take me a minute to figure out where I'm supposed to go."

"Don't take this the wrong way," I said. "I'm not offering to walk you to school on your first day of kindergarten but if it's not too embarrassing, I can go with you, give you an insider's take on it."

"Actually, that would be great, Uncle Jeff, and it's not embarrassing. I'd appreciate if you did. This is a lot bigger deal than I thought it would be."

I stood up and grabbed a jacket from the front hall. We headed out onto the street. I looked down at her as we walked. "I won't even hold your hand when we cross the street," I joked.

She stopped, suddenly furious. "Seriously? Is that supposed to be fucking funny or something?" She stormed off, leaving me standing there.

I caught up to her. "I'm sorry, Emma. You're right, that was a stupid thing to say."

"Is that what you think, that I'm still a little kid needing my daddy's help to cross the street? Fuck me! This is my last year of college. Maybe you haven't noticed but I'm not a little girl anymore. Okay?"

"No, you're right, you're absolutely right, Emma. I'm sorry." We started to walk together again. "It's no excuse but you gotta know I'm a little out of my depth here. It's been a long time since I've had anyone your age living with me. I'm sorry."

She stopped and looked up at me. "I'm sorry too. I know I'm over-sensitive right now. I swear Mum and Dad are treating me like a five-year-old. It all went to shit and now I gotta deal with it, but I don't need anyone holding my hand."

We reached the campus and stood together in the quad. I gave her a general idea of the layout, checked out a few key spots inside, then pointed her toward the dean's office. "Good luck with it, Emma. I'm with you all the way on this, okay? Anything you need, anytime, I'll be here." I turned to leave.

"Uncle Jeff?" I turned around. She reached up and kissed my cheek. "Sorry for being a bitch again. Thanks. I really mean it. Thanks." She turned and walked away. I watched her leave, a little surprised by what she'd just done. She was right - the little girl I remembered was now a woman, a strong one trying to find her own way. A lump caught in my throat; I was proud of her.

It had been several weeks now and although we were still trying to figure out exactly how to make this all work there were signs that Emma was beginning to uncoil that over-wound spring inside her. Or so I thought. I'd just started dinner when the front door slammed. I cringed; that was never a good sign. She came in, slumped down into a chair and buried her face in her hands, then pounded the table with tight fists.

"Fuck, fuck, FUCK!" she cried.

"What? What the hell happened, Emma?" I came and sat beside her. "What's going on?" I put an arm around her shoulders as she leaned into me. In those short few weeks we'd been together I was happy to see how comfortable she'd become around me. I found that she seemed to need physical contact; human touch calmed her.