Enchantress 3 - The Last Elf

He was finally home in their cottage that had welcomed him home with cool breezes on the porch and evenings in front of a fire at night. Octavia pulled herself up close to Nick. He was still skin and bones from refusing to eat. She made a note to make chicken and dumplings for dinner. That should help. Just now, she wanted to share the miracle that was dancing inside her womb and pressed her belly against his back. She hoped against hope that he could feel the baby moving. "That's our son," she whispered. Nick must have heard it because he relaxed.

Then she noticed what most pregnant women notice at a tender moment like this... she has to pee. Damnit. There's a bucket with a lid that Ellie Grady, a girl that works at the Emporium, gave her, but she didn't want that. She'll save that for later and she eased out of bed and headed for the "two holer" out back. Thanks to her magic it's the only heated outhouse in the Kingdom of Lancre.

The moment she climbed down the stairs, her wizard's staff began to move. Made of Sapient Pearwood, her staff had feet. It was a walking stick that could walk anywhere you could walk. It climbed out of the olliphont foot umbrella stand and crept upstairs. The wizard's staff was six feet tall with a big wooden knob on the top, the knob was as big around as a lawn bowling ball, but as it neared the bed on its dozen tiny legs it leaned over Nick and the ball on the top opened revealing what looked like a giant eye, because it actually was a huge eyeball, the Eye of Knute, an ancient Dwarven artifact. The eyeball was pure white ivory; the iris was deep blue lapis lazuli, and the pupil was deep black Obsidian and it could see so much more than a human can see.

Octavia put on a robe and slippers that were stationed next to the back door just for this occasion, cursing the fact that at one point in her life she was exposed to indoor plumbing, and now it was just a fond memory. As she stepped outside to the outhouse, Nick was startled awake by an eyeball the size of a large man's fist staring at him in the gloom. "I figured it out," whispered the eyeball as it glared at Nick. Virga was upset because it figured out the meaning of the name that Nick gave it. "Virga means stick!"

Screaming in horror, Nick threw his pillow at the ghastly apparition and the pillow wrapped itself around the terrifying specter. As the eyeball struggled against the pillow, Nick discovered that the eyeball was on a stick... a stick with feet! He grabbed another pillow and threw it, and the pillow wrapped around the base of the stick, wrapping up its feet. The stick fell and laid across Nick, and the terror was starting to overwhelm Nick. He couldn't hold back...

The screams of the house gargoyle Gula startled Octavia. Gula is madly in love with Nick and very protective of him, her open mouth shouts of "IIIIIK! IIIIIK!" {Nick! Nick!} told Octavia that something was wrong with Nick. She dashed into the house and hearing a roar and a snarl and muffled screams for help, Octavia raced up the steep stairs to find her wizard's staff wrapped up in pillows and a blanket while a huge black Bang Galore Tiger stood on the bed roaring at the staff. "Virga, calm down! Stop moving and talking. You scared him."

"Scared him? Look at what he did to me!"

"Virga, stop it or I'll let you experience what he went through for months." For a few seconds Octavia set Virga in the hell that Nick went through, stuck in an eagle's body, chained to a perch, an octanium ring sapping away his strength. The staff stopped struggling and Octavia turned to the huge snarling cat on their bed that was still crouched and ready to spring.

"Ssshhhh, ssshhhh, it's ok darling, there was no threat, it was just OUR staff showing you her new eye." Octavia emphasized the word OUR to remind Virga that she serves both masters in this house. Octavia's walking stick never really got along with Nick. Virga almost got him killed in Four Ecks, and Octavia hoped that they would have gotten along better by now, considering everything they've been through.

Guess not.

Octavia gently touched the black cat. He was huge, beautiful, and terrified. "SSsshhhh, ssshhhh, it's ok darling," she slipped off her robe and her nightdress so the cat could see that it's her. She wanted him to see that she's no threat, and she wasn't hiding anything under her robe. Octavia reached out and gently began to stroke the big cat's soft fur, "such a pretty kitty!" and he was an incredibly beautiful big cat. His black fur actually had blue highlights in the candlelight and the only color on him was the left eye, which was solid gold and the key shaped tuft of silver hair on his chest between his massive forelegs.

"Come on, cuddle with me," she said as she slid sinuously into bed. Even preceded by a baby bump, she was the sweetest, sexiest thing that Nick has ever seen. Even in his terrified state, he could see through his fear and see the woman that he loved was next to him, unafraid. She hugged him and said, "Come on, you big fluffy thing, come snuggle with me." She wrapped her arms around the two-hundred-pound beast and began to rub its tummy, and soon the rumbling of a giant feline's purring filled the room.

It was so relaxing to have her Nick back, even though he was in the body of a Bang Galore Tiger {A Bang Galore Tiger was a tiger bred for racing. They stood 14 to 16 hands tall and weighed up to 10 jockeys, which, surprisingly, was the average monthly food intake of a Bang Galore Tiger, which explains why there's no tiger races in Bang Galore, Muntab anymore} He was warm and soft, and even though he's not the Nick she married, she could feel Nick deep inside the tiger. "Thank you for coming home to me," she whispered.

As Nick relaxed, the pillows and blankets that were wrapped around Virga loosened and fell off, and Nick slowly relaxed his grip on the tiger's body. Octavia started to drift off to sleep as she clutched her huge black cat. She almost didn't notice him start to change slowly back to Nick. "Thank you for saving me," he whispered hoarsely, "again." Then the pain and terror of being trapped in a body that wasn't his returned and he began to shudder, trying desperately to hold back the scream that was trying to work its way out.

"Shhh, don't. If you start crying, I'll start crying," she whispered, but it was too late and the horror was too real. They were both in tears before the sun came up.

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Creel Springs, Lancre

It was a bright, crisp autumn day, and the harvest was in full swing. Autumn was a busy time for the farmers and witches, harvest time meant farm injuries as people labored ahead of the incoming winter to get in their crops, stack the last cord of firewood, finish stacking the feed for the animals, and slaughter the last unneeded boar and calf. Soon, canning would be in full swing in the kitchens across Lancre, and they would need the witches of Lancre in force to deal with the myriad of injuries and illnesses that crop up in the busiest time of the year.

A small black carriage pulled up to Nick and Octavia's bookstore in the village of Creel Springs and stopped next to the buckboard wagon with mule that was already there. Two witches stepped off the carriage, leaving the driver, an exhausted looking middle-aged woman, to wait. {She was a daughter-in-law of Nanny Ogg, and all of Nanny Ogg's daughters-in-law look exhausted} The two witches, both of a certain age {that's the polite way to say old} were well known in Lancre and other parts of the disc, one was tall and ramrod straight, and ramrod slim. She was the walking personification of the word and the concept of stern; the other was short and round and normally a cheerful soul, but today they were both very serious.

"Back to work already?" asked Granny Weatherwax as she stepped into Nick and Octavia's bookstore. She cast a stern glare around the interior of the shop, but Nick was nowhere to be seen. It was just Octavia binding a sprained wrist on a young boy along with the lad's mother and older sister. Granny detested "book learning" and the bookstore was the cradle of that sin as far as Granny was concerned.

"Mister Wobblehat isn't here," pouted a young girl, Moyra McCrory, as she held up a bandaged hand.

"Ooo, what happened to you little one?" asked Nanny Ogg, Granny Weatherwax's best {and only} friend.

"Somebody tried to pet a porkypine," said Octavia, nodding to Moyra. "And this one was laughing at his sister so much he fell out of the tree he was climbing," and she tickled the tummy of the young boy she was mending.

"It hurt," pouted little Gavin McCrory. "I couldn't breathe."

"Yes," said Octavia sympathetically. "It knocked the wind out of you. That's scary, I know." Then, in a conspiratorial tone of voice, she said, "I climbed my share of trees, so I know how it feels. And you know what?" then she whispered, "I still climb them." The thought of a fancy lady like the duchess climbing a tree started the two children giggling. "Ok mommy, these two monkeys are ready to go. Let's keep them out of the trees and away from porkypines for a while."

"There's no such thing as monkeys," said Moyra with all the knowledge and self-assurance of a preteen girl.

"See that picture on the wall?" Octavia pointed to a painting of an orangutan holding a human baby. "That's me and my dad right after he adopted me."

"Your daddy is a monkey?" gasped Gavin.

"He works at a university in Ankh-Morpork where there are lots of wizards and magic and there was an accident and he got turned into an ape."

"My daddy is a people!" said Gavin proudly.

"Why don't they turn him back?" asked the mom, Ena McCrory. Ena's dad is the blacksmith Trei Metzgar and his shop is next to the bookstore.

"They try to change him back, but he keeps running away. He says it's because being an ape is too much fun."

"All right, you two monkeys," said Ena as she helped the kids on with their coats. "Let's get you two back home and thank you so much, your grace... what do we owe you?"

"Owe? As the duke says, you owe me two healthy children that our son can play with soon," and she tapped her belly, that was slowly increasing in size. "But we need bandages. If you have some sheets you could donate, then we could cut them to the size we need."

Ena sighed in relief. It was a worry that with the witch being gone, having his wife, the duchess, providing medical care would cost so much more. "I thought my dad was crazy when he said that's what you were asking for, but I brought some anyway," and she handed Octavia a shopping bag full of sheets. Some of them looked brand new.

"This is... quite generous," said Octavia, who was almost moved to tears. Mountain people don't have much in the way of money, so frivolous things like sheets are a rare item, a large denomination coin in a barter society.

"Well, you're going to use them to fix us up, so we'll be getting them back in bits and pieces, especially with these two," she said, glaring at her two giggling children.

"Do you mind if we sleep on one of these? I mean, just until we can get some sheets of our own."

The woman looked at Octavia strangely. Who has ever heard of a duke and duchess that can't afford sheets? Royals are made of money, everyone knows that. "Yer grace are things ok?" the woman asked quietly.

"We're fine, we just... we'll be ok."

"What are you..."

Not one to back off when backing off is being wordlessly requested, Granny seized the conversation by the throat. "What the duchess isn't saying is that she and the duke spent all their money paying off all your taxes, they did that for everyone in the county so you can spend a year and recover from the predators that have been wringing money out of you."

"Granny please... don't..." said Octavia, trying not to cry. "We have another job, we'll be ok."

"You have another job? You're taking side work?"

"No, of course not... well... a little bit." The beautiful brunette looked flummoxed, Octavia couldn't reveal the nature of their side job. They wouldn't understand. She removed the sheets from the shopping bag that was gaily decorated with floral embroidery and tried to hand it back to Ena, but the woman refused it.

"No, you keep it. I have more than enough."

Octavia looked overwhelmed at the beautiful gift. "Thank you so much! I needed one!" and she clutched it to her chest tightly as if it were the most precious thing she owned. She escorted Ena and the children out to their wagon and as Ena climbed up on the driver's seat, she said, "Thank you again, it's so beautiful."

Ena was shocked. No woman gushes over a shopping bag that much... not without a reason. Is the duke beating her? That's got to be it. As she picked up the reins, she leaned way over and whispered softly so the witches who were watching from the door of the store wouldn't hear, "Are you safe? If you're being hurt, we can talk and maybe get you some help." The men of Creel Springs do not brook men battering their wives, "the boys" will straighten out newlywed issues of that sort.

Octavia guessed what Ena was hinting at, but she didn't realize that Ena considered Nick a threat. "No, why do you ask?"

"Well, your grace, no one gushes over used sheets and an old, worn-out old shopping bag, not unless there's a reason."

"No, it's beautiful. I'll treasure it always."

"It's just something my mom made," insisted Ena. "I was going to throw it away."

Octavia looked at the bag and gasped, "No! It's beautiful!"

Now Ena started chuckling. "You act like it's the only gift you've ever received."

"It kind of is! I'll treasure it forever!" and with that she returned to the bookstore and with a flick of the reins Ena McCrory and her children headed home, but Ena had to stop first and talk with her sister about this new duchess that the king selected.

Octavia turned and walked over to the blacksmith shop still holding her shopping bag tight to her chest and as she walked over there, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg followed her. At the Blacksmith shop Octavia walked right up to the blacksmith, Trei Metsker and between blows of his hammer on an iron bar he was shaping, she gave him a big hug. "Thank you so much for letting people know that we need material for bandages. Ena collected a stack of sheets for us."

"She told you she collected the sheets?" Trei didn't have to tell anyone except his two daughters, Ena McCrory and Darina Ivers, along with their mother Erin to let the entire county know that Nick and Octavia needed sheets for bandages.

"She didn't have to. Some were worn, some were brand new, and she said we could use one!" Then Octavia's eyes grew wide with wonder, "she gave me this beautiful shopping bag!" she showed Trei the shopping bag that his wife made years ago. He remembered his daughters Darina and Ena fighting over the bag as teenagers, and for years it had been traveling back and forth between the girls' carrying items between their households. Now Octavia has it.

It seems to Trei that he and Erin have picked up another daughter. He looked down on the tiny black-haired woman, belly growing large with child, and her bright brown eyes a'glitter with the joy of the warm autumn morning. It is sometimes hard for him to remember that this homespun young couple is actually quite powerful, politically and magically. "If there's anything else you need, let me know, ok your grace?"

"I will Mister Metzger!" Smiling broadly Octavia returned to the bookstore and went inside and stepped into a small closet behind Nicks corner where he did his calligraphy and book repairs. "I have to hold court today for a short while. You're welcome to come watch," she said as she changed clothes. When she emerged, she was wearing a red silk gown embossed with golden eagles.

"That's... that's..." for the first time in her long, long life, Granny Weatherwax was stuck for words.

"That's real gold!" gushed Nanny Ogg as she ran her fingers over the eagles on Octavia's sleeves.

"Yes, they went a little overboard when they made this for me," Octavia turned left and right making sure the gown was hanging properly, then she drew her black hair back in a ponytail, spun it up into a bun, then pinned it in place with two sticks. "Nick had a bad night last night. He's still getting over everything, so I sent him out exploring with his buddy Axemir and I'm going to hold court today." She checked her gown one more time, then she said, "If you want to come with me, we'll be gone about four hours. If you just want to wait here, I'll be back in about ten minutes."

"I'm not sure if all your book learning got you any smarter, but your math isn't adding up," said Granny Weatherwax. "I will follow you."

"And I'll stay here just to see what you're up to," said Nanny Ogg, and she sat down at the front desk ready to do any healing for anyone who walks through the door.

Smiling, Octavia placed a small, fifteen-minute hourglass in front of Gytha and then led Granny into the maze of bookshelves and into the scientific marvel known as L-Space.

Have you ever gone into one of those really, really great old used bookstores that went on and on and the deeper you went into those columns of collected knowledge the more you realized that you were much further from the where you started than you realized? You were just skirting on the edge of L-Space.

The theory behind L-Space is simple, yet mundane users of bookstores and libraries often overlook it. The theory states that in enormous quantities, books warp space and time around them. The principle of L-Space revolves around the universal law that 'Knowledge is Power.' Books contain knowledge, therefore:

BOOKS = KNOWLEDGE and KNOWLEDGE = POWER therefore BOOKS = POWER

Power is best described in the following equation:

POWER = (FORCE X DISTANCE ÷ TIME)

The power generated by copious quantities of magical and mundane books creates portals into L-Space that can be accessed using innate powers of Librarianship that are taught by the Librarians of Time and Space to those deemed worthy across the multiverse. This means that all bookstores are infinite in extent; all book collections touch each other, and libraries are gateways into literary hyperspace. In other words, "a good bookshop is just a genteel blackhole that knows how to read."

Navigating L-Space is the forte of a Senior Master Librarian such as Octavia; a specialist properly trained in the Library Sciences can navigate anywhere in the literary universe and end up on worlds of wonder that can only be described properly with watercolors, or in Dickinson North Dakota for Grandma Lena's 98th birthday. Octavia had to go halfway across the surface of the disc into two hours previous of time, and she knew the path well.

As they walked between the bookshelves, it seemed to Granny that the bookshelves were closing in on them, and she noticed that the books stacked up on the shelves had definitely taken a foreign look to them, they looked like strips of wood tied together and rolled up in a bundle. As they turned a corner Octavia called out, "Virga! Where are you?"

"I got lost," came a muffled response.

With an annoyed sigh Octavia reached out with an open hand and called "Come to momma," and Granny could hear a knocking sound, like someone was tapping on the bookshelves with a stick, then a staff appeared from around a corner and slipped into her open hand. "Mmmm, Virga, you're nice and thick today." Octavia's hand could barely close around her walking stick/wizard's staff.