Enslaved by the Pen Ch. 04

Chapter Four: Resisting the Truth

Gabe's arms never relinquished their hold on me after I called him Master. As he wiped away the wetness from my cheeks, he reassured me that I would always be Amelia. My continuing tears were a testament to my lack of conviction at his assertion. Gabe recognized my manipulation, as I had his. My acts of resistance looked increasingly insignificant in the scheme of my abduction. I refused to abandon hope. I would enact my agency and insist on my personhood when I could.

The fear that my life would change drastically after my declaration, was warranted. My ability to act autonomously was eroded under the guise of submitting to him. Gabe removed most of my clothes the next morning, leaving only a few pieces.

"Hand me your t-shirt and panties Amelia." Gabe crooked his fingers from his outstretched arm instructing me to relinquish the barrier remaining between me and complete exposure.

I shook my head. My arms wrapped protectively around my body. "No." I was indignant. I couldn't fathom that mere months ago I was an independent being. Now, I was backed into a corner like a rabid animal. Mittens protectively sat in front of me.

Gabe took a step towards me, and I shrank. "Amelia, hand me your t-shirt and panties."

I lifted my glistening eyes, and reluctantly surrendered my shirt. He gestured towards the panties, unblinking in his insistence. I grudgingly lowered them down my legs, placing the cotton fabric in Gabe's hands. My arms made horizontal stripes across my body as I attempted to cover up, but the intensity of Gabe's eyes stripped me bare. I stood there, bereft of dignity. His hands held my shoulders before they roved downwards cupping my breasts, slowly flicking my nipples with his thumbs. His fingers continued their deliberate exploration as they followed the curve of my waist and hips, before gripping me on my upper thighs. His thumbs traced my outer labial lips before unexpectedly thrusting inwards roughly. I gasped from the intrusion.

"This is mine now little one." His thumbs continued to piston into me. "You belong to me. In time, every inch of you will crave, if not beg to be mine."

Incredulity tainted my features, as my head shook in denial. I sidestepped. The weight of his hands drove my shoulders down and I sank to my knees under the force of his insistence. His looming figure cast a shadow over my kneeling form. I tearfully pleaded; my ragged breaths thick with trepidation. He dismissed my reservations with an unsympathetic grunt. The thick black leather collar surrounded my neck with a click of finality. I held out my trembling hands as he buckled the accompanying cuffs that encircled my wrists and efficiently strapped the restraints around my ankles. They were my body's only permitted adornment.

"Your collar has been fitted with GPS. Your ankle and wrist cuffs are not locked. I expect them to remain on." He ensured I understood he was maintaining vigilance over my confinement.

He pulled my arms back and crossed them high up behind my back, clipping the cuffs to the collar's O-ring in a reverse prayer position. I shifted my hands, trying to test for movement. Naked, hands immobilized, kneeling in front of Gabe's towering figure, suddenly gripped me in a cloak of suffocating terror that I hadn't experienced since that first morning. My breaths struggled out rapidly as my chest heaved in fear. I thrashed futilely hoping to dislodge myself from my capture. Gabe's arms caught me as I fell forward in my panic.

He righted me gently. His hands cupped my cheeks, forcing me to look at him. "Amelia, look at me. This is important. You need to hear me." He shook me softly until my eyes focused on him. "There's nothing to be frightened of. Please know that I have your welfare in mind. I will not hurt you. I have kept you safe this entire time. This process has never been about breaking you. Our time together has been to carefully cultivate your submission and bring you close to your limits so that you surrender. My desire is that you will dedicate your heart and mind to becoming compliant for me. I want you to act without inhibition and experience what you've yearned for. You've been so scared of confronting your true nature. Now is the time to embrace it, Amelia."

Gabe's words rang hollow. Their intended effect failed to alleviate the heavy mantle of dread that hunched my shoulders. My anger towards him and his continual arrogant insistence that he knew what I wanted bore down on me, concretizing my paralysis.

"There are only five rules," Gabe lectured at me. "One, you will always refer to me as Master. Two, I control every aspect of your life, including what you eat, what you wear, when you use the bathroom. Everything. Rule three is that I own your orgasms. You are not permitted to come unless I grant you permission. You will ask. If you forget, you will be punished. You are not permitted to touch yourself unless I give you permission. Four, if you fail to obey my instructions, you will be punished. Rule five, you will always have a safeword."

Confusion clouded my eyes.

"Amelia, I have no intention of breaking you. You are not here as my lurid sex slave. I want to show you a world that I believe will appeal to you. I will be firm with you, as you demonstrated you needed me to. If you feel that I've pushed you beyond what you can do, call your safeword."

I nodded, confused at the contradictory nature of Gabe's seeming caring, yet cavalier attitude towards me. "Does that mean if I use my safeword, you'll let me go?"

"I'll stop the action. But no, I will not let you go."

I bowed my head, pondering how I could capitalize on Gabe's willingness to provision me with a safeword. If I used it strategically, he would be compelled to release me when he realized this wasn't my true nature. I would need to be judicious in its use; he had the wherewithal to recognize my manipulations.

"Who am I little one?" He tipped my chin directing my still wet eyes to look at him. He wanted me to call him "Master." The word ripped my tongue like a metal barb. The sound of my voice foreign. I detested saying it to him, for him.

"Do you understand the rules?"

I only nodded. What was there to misunderstand? Gabe controlled my life at a deeper level than before, when I was permitted to retain some semblance of autonomy.

"Then let's see if you really do understand the rules, shall we?" He pulled me up by my shoulders and walked me forwards to the sofa, before sitting me down. "I have some work to do. You may watch TV for awhile before lunch."

The characters' foibles provided little distraction to the aching pull on my imprisoned arms that was terrifyingly unfamiliar. The awkward press into my back served as a reminder of my new predicament. The sofa's fabric, abrasive against my naked skin in unexpected ways.

After an hour, I struggled off the sofa pushing myself to a standing position. Gabe looked up. "Where are you going little one?"

"I need to go to the bathroom. Can you undo my hands please?"

Gabe momentarily lifted his fingers from his laptop keyboard. "Ask properly little one."

"May I go to the bathroom please?" I shifted slightly. The urge was more pressing. Gabe remained silent as he watched me. "Master, may I go to the bathroom please?"

He smiled. Gabe rose and guided me to the toilet, pressing me to sit.

"Aren't you going to release my hands? I need them."

"Rule number two little one. What is it?"

"Master controls every aspect of my life," I recited dejectedly.

"You understand now little one? I want you fully bared before me."

My degradation hot on my cheeks as Gabe watched me evacuate my bowels. Averting my eyes was not a courtesy he permitted. He cupped my cheek and ensured that my watery eyes held his gaze for the duration. His thumb traced the path of my tears.

Afterwards, as I stared at the TV, I fretted that Gabe's control would breach my mental defenses. Having sex with him was reconcilable because I could derive pleasure from the act. Surrendering my control to him was demoralizing in unanticipated ways. How could I claim I wasn't broken with my arms locked tight, and my every need now contingent on Gabe's beneficence?

At lunchtime, Gabe positioned me so that I was kneeling by his side on a pillow. He tore a piece of sandwich and held it out. With my arms restrained behind my back, there was little choice. My shoulders sagged as I leaned forward and took the morsel from his fingers. A tear slid down, dripping off Gabe's extended hand.

"I understand that these initial few days and weeks will be mentally difficult for you Amelia," Gabe said in between bites. "Your obedience will be expected in all things. Some will be humiliating for you and test your boundaries. Others you will enjoy. What I ask of you will be challenging, precisely because you need to internalize your position in this relationship. Once that's established, you'll understand that you are submissive to me in every way. When you are released, you will be independent, but in my presence, always mine."

I looked at him. Had I heard him correctly? Released?

"Amelia, it was never my intention to imprison you permanently. When you've been trained, you will experience a measure of freedom. I have no doubts that you will crave being mine."

He fed me the rest of my sandwich in silence. I pondered the enormity of what he had revealed. How could I be free if I was still his? "What does measure of freedom mean? Will I get to go to the outside world again if I'm good?" My tone was hopeful.

"Yes little one. I'll allow you outside for a little bit."

My mood was buoyed. He was providing me an opportunity, however slim, to escape. All I needed to do was relent to his desires, no matter how demeaning. I would manufacture resistance to be believable and then sublimate my pride. As I fantasized about selecting my own groceries, Gabe snapped a leash onto my collar and guided me to the pillow awaiting beside the desk.

"I have work to do Amelia. You'll wait patiently here. If you need anything, you may ask."

He wanted me to kneel here for the remainder of the afternoon doing nothing? After five minutes, I started fidgeting. I was unaccustomed to holding my posture erect. After 20 minutes, my impatience was palpable. I asked Gabe to watch TV. He said no. Five minutes after that, I asked him to release my arms. He denied me. Ten minutes afterwards, I asked if I could walk around to alleviate the ache in my knees. He didn't dignify me with a response.

"Why the fuck am I kneeling here doing nothing? Surely, this is not why I was kidnapped?" I fumed out loud. I was infuriated at Gabe. My life had been sacrificed so I could kneel at his fucking feet? I immediately realized I had miscalculated and allowed my anger to waylay my goal - to appear convincingly compliant. Acquiesce Amelia, acquiesce, I reminded myself.

Gabe glared down at me from his perch, retrieving something from the drawer. "Amelia, I asked you to wait patiently. The purpose of this exercise is to teach you that you defer to my will because I'm your Master. I've told you that I wanted you to kneel here patiently. You've been unable to do so on your own accord. I didn't want to reprimand you so quickly, but your noncompliance will be punished. Open your mouth."

I shuffled back off the pillow as I screamed, "No!" Gabe clutched my shoulder, pinning me in place. I gritted my teeth against the intrusion, but Gabe pushed the stubby penis-shaped gag deep into my mouth, positioning the adjoining ball portion behind my teeth. He latched it closed behind my head, tightening the strap. I moaned out a muffled gurgle as I shook my head trying to dislodge the gag. The ball lay heavy on my tongue, as the silicone penis filled my mouth. My breaths quickened automatically as my nose compensated for my restricted airway.

"As this is your first time wearing it Amelia, take deep breaths through your nose. If you're in distress, grunt three times loudly. Be a good girl and kneel here quietly now." He pulled the leash and repositioned me forward, allowing the leather strap to dangle in between my breasts.

I looked at Gabe, my nose flaring, my gagged mouth making garbled squeaking sounds, as I tried to get his attention. His head never turned. I felt the first tear slide down my cheek. I didn't want Gabe to see me crying. I was stronger than this. As I knelt there, my voice silenced, my hands tightly restrained behind my back, I lamented how I had been so easily objectified for Gabe's pleasure. I wasn't a person to him anymore. I was simply something to exert his will upon. My agency abrogated for the spectacle of my submission. When the first slick thread of drool escaped the gag, clinging precariously before dripping to my naked flesh below, I reddened. My exposed nipples prickled as the strands of saliva continuously seeped downwards dappling my chest. Mittens, sensing my distress, sidled up to my thigh, purring.

Gabe's warm hand pressed against the back of my neck encouraging me to straighten my posture. "Back straight Amelia. Show me what a good girl you can be and kneel upright. Be proud of what you're asked to do."

I struggled under the weight of his expectations. I spluttered as the flat of his palm pressed into the small of my back, pushing my chest out. He pulled me up gently by my neck, straightening my back and causing me to shuffle forwards, rearranging my pose. I remained sniffling next to Gabe until he crouched down next to my stilled and straightened form and gently removed the gag. Being bound, silenced for hours by an artificial penis gag, and made to suffer the slow crawl of my own saliva wetting my naked breasts had humbled me. Gabe tenderly wiped the drool away, cleaning my chest.

"Thank you," I softly said, my eyes heavy with shame.

He tugged on my leash, bidding me up. I had spent the afternoon kneeling next to Gabe. While I initially questioned why Gabe didn't ravage my body in some savage act of depravity, the hours of my solitude made me realize that Gabe was establishing his authority in overtly non-sexual ways. I knelt on the floor because that is what he desired. He accompanied me to the bathroom because that was his will. I was cognizant that what he was doing was a deliberate exercise in the execution of his dominion over my mind and body. My path to freedom suddenly seemed obvious. If I was to ingratiate myself with Gabe, I would need to acknowledge his authority, not just acquiesce to it. I didn't need to sublimate the pangs of rebellion I genuinely experienced whenever he commanded me to action. He wanted me to resist, and in the end, choose him. In fact, resistance would lend credence to the very real mental struggle I was waging in myself. I simply needed to appeal to his ego and validate his need to own me.

By late afternoon, the ache in my arms reminded me of how little control I retained. I remained voiceless, resignation occupying my thoughts, as I leaned forward to take in the proffered pieces he fed me for dinner. Eventually when we sat on the sofa, Gabe pulled my arms down from their restraints and I cried from the deep ache as he massaged the stiffness from my limbs.

"I know this is hard for you Amelia. You've done very well so far."

I only nodded. "Is this how it's always going to be Gabe?" My voice was small.

"What do you mean Amelia?"

"This." I pointed at my naked body and then to him. "Are you always going to silence me? Are you always going to expect that I'm naked? You're going to punish me when you're displeased by shoving a penis down my mouth? You told me that I could still be me if you were my Master. I don't feel very much like myself at all."

"What do you feel like?"

"Small, insignificant, as if I don't matter. I feel overwhelmed." I barely finished enunciating the word before my tears started. "I don't want to become your mindless sex robot," I stuttered out.

Gabe placed a reassuring arm around my shoulder, squeezing me. "Little one. Need I remind you that you are certainly not mindless, and we haven't even done anything sexual today."

"That's not the point!" I wailed as I curled against the arm of the sofa seeking stability. I was flabbergasted that he didn't think stripping me naked and shoving a cock into my mouth wasn't sexual. "I don't want to spend my life on my knees waiting to be told what to do," I sobbed. I couldn't articulate my concerns in a way that Gabe would understand or empathize with.

Gabe gathered me in his lap, enveloping me with his strength. "Today was hard for you because submission isn't merely sex for you Amelia. It can be if that's the nature of the relationship. But your fantasies have always involved submitting mentally and sexually. Today was difficult because you're confronting the reality of your fantasy. Being submissive to a Dom means letting yourself go and trusting in him to make the decisions. You won't be on your knees all the time. You were today because I wanted to reinforce our dynamic. Did you feel submissive?"

I nodded.

"Does it frighten you?" Gabe's tone was soft as he caressed my cheek.

I derided myself for seeking solace in the arms of my kidnapper. I didn't want to be vulnerable. Yet, I buried my head into the heat of his chest. Long moments passed as he rocked me.

"Amelia, some things will come easily to you. Others are meant to challenge you. That's what my responsibility is about in guiding you. What I'm about to do next, you may like more than this afternoon's activities. Think of it as a treat."

My fearful eyes lifted to catch the gleam of mischief reflected in his. He picked me up off his lap and tenderly placed me on the sofa. He pulled my cuffed wrist to the far edge of the sofa and attached the strap. He cinched tight the strap around my other hand before spreading my legs so that my ankle cuffs were restrained by the straps below. I pulled, knowing there would be no slack. We had done this so many times before. This time though, I was utterly exposed.

I contemplated using my safe word as a disruption and started opening my mouth. Gabe only placed his finger on my lips. "I won't believe it Amelia. Surely you don't believe I would release you if you used your safeword on everything do you?"

I only looked up at him, shocked at his seeming premonitory abilities. The truth was that neither of us could deny that his touch excited me. Both of us felt the slick of my arousal the first time Gabe kicked my legs apart and slid his fingers into my cunt while commanding me to stay still.

Gabe examined my nakedness, legs spread lewdly. The heaving of my chest emphasized the swell of my breasts. He said nothing as his finger trailed the outline of each areola. He was methodical as his finger circled around my nipple, teasing each one into a rigid peak. "How I've fantasized about seeing you bared before me little one. All those nights that I brought you to pleasure under your clothes. Now, you're mine. Your body is mine to do as I see fit, isn't it?" I gasped as his finger skimmed over my abdomen before it teased a slow circle around my parted labia. I pulled. "Stop resisting Amelia. You want this." His declaration stilled me.

Gabe continued to lightly graze the perimeter of my outer lips, barely gliding into the moist heat that separated the petals of flesh. "Ask Amelia and do so properly. Otherwise, I'll leave you tied here all night."

I shifted my hips as Gabe's fingers drummed the top of my mound, as if impatient that I hadn't yet yielded to his touch and thrown myself in supplication before his feet. "Can you please touch me?" I despised that I was begging for the feel of him.

He tutted me. "Is that the proper way? Rule one and three little one."

I understood what Gabe wanted. He wanted to reinforce that my pleasure was at his discretion. He wanted me to reaffirm my position and acknowledge my subjugation willingly. He wanted me to do it at my most vulnerable. How could I resist when I had become accustomed to his touch? My voice, oddly disembodied uttered softly, "Master, please make me come?"