All Comments on 'Epilogue - It Was Just The One Time'

The husband basically killed himself - why? You don't hurt anyone that way.

This was just too dark and dumb.... Sorry.

I like BTB but everyone but the Bitch got burned.

Just no. Seriously how does killing the daughter make it a good punishment for the husband like you talked about. Im all for punishing people but you should of left this alone. Could of been a good read our you could of gone humorous but no.

Just reread the original and had to come back and say you really should be ashamed for writing this, at least if your going to continue a story try to capture the original authors intent not your own view point.

Should have never been written

what rubbish, if you cant write better stories than that just quit....................-5 stars

Sorts ever!

You are sick!

Dark.

The kid shouldn't have died.

She paid the highest price.

Well written yet tragic story.

The wife still haven't comprehend her action(s) made her world collapse not the husband's.

His was only a reaction to her cheating.

Till the end, as her daughter's coffin was lowered,

the cheating wife still think she was still entitled to that one "mistake".

/

Good story lujon2019. Thank you.

Silly idea. But interesting. A simple beating would have worked better. Too many holes in this elaborate revenge scheme. While a beating is normal for men, its mentally scaring for most women. Arabs know this. They will on rare occasions beat wayward women. It seems to usually work too. Aw well.

Do us all a favor. Don't write anything else. Where are the negative points when you need them?

lujon2019 did write and ask for permission to write an epilogue, permission which I gave him, not via e-mail, because I wanted to keep my e-mail address confidential, but in a comment to another popular story. From his e-mail address, I could not tell who had asked.

This epilogue is actually an expansion of a comment he wrote to the original, about a year ago; 26thNC liked the comment.

Tertiary syphilis can develop within the timeframe Lujon wrote, so it is plausible. The problem arises with Mickey's diagnosis: a diagnosis of syphilis brings with it a legal requirement for reporting, and the physician would have been bound to report it to all of Mickey's known sex partners. Even if Mickey refused to name them, the physician would have been required to report it to his wife. And Mickey would have had to have gotten a diagnosis to have "adroitly . . . avoided having any brain scans done until it was too late."

More, the original had Rick Stevens as having nailed at least 50 married women at the hospital. Notifying one or two, and the secret could have been kept, but having to notify fifty or more married women, no, that won't stay secret; the gossip would spread through the hospital like wildfire.

Lujon wrote that he was displeased that Julie had escaped punishment in my version. but did she? Impo_64 commented, "This was the best way to finish this story...Doubt leading to fear will make her life a living hell...Any little noise will make her jump," while BetrayedbyLove commented, "Oh Yeah Done and done. Worry, bitch."

I guess that how much punishment one feels is merited depends on the individual.

"Per guidelines I did send ReedRichards an email asking for permission" - Guidelines require GETTING permission, not just asking. Since you don't mention getting it, I assume you didn't.

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You posted your comment as a story? I just skimmed, but it appears to be identical.

What the hell happened to you for posting such an ugly story? Do you also have syphilis or a brain tumor? How can a single person have so much violence in his thinking? Terrible, like your story! I love BTB stories, but I am ashamed of your story!

...oh so good. I would never expect him killing his daughter. I wonder in his lucid moments he realizes/remembers killing his daughter. She would have been just short of 18 ATOD.

So friggin’ original, and so very good. 5-stars & Favorite.

So dark. I really don't see how he could plan to go insane and be lucid enough to have it all worked out and I don't see why her own parents hate her for what this man did. Sure, she cheated, but that would not make a parent blame her for the husbands actions. I mean they would say he could just divorce or she could have divorced him and moved away and get a restraining order. So an interesting tale in some way but so far from reality.

Brutal! Instead of punishing his wife, he kills his daughter? Killing an innocent bystander goes far beyond the foreword.

So your version of punishment for the wife is the husband committing a VERY long drawn out suicide, something that can take decades, and the murder of her daughter. This story is about as bad as some of your comments.

The murder of a child is too much!

Very dark but not a bad first attempt. A couple of spelling errors perhaps due to a spellchecker that change the meaning: millstone not milestone; damned not dammed as examples.

Over the top. Reed does enjoy his whores getting away with it but he also doesn't mind his wife's twat being used like a public urinal as long as he gets his turn as well. He is a good little cuck.

All that aside, this was jumping the shark. It seems to be more written in the frame of frustration at the original story than with anything else in mind.

While I understand the frustration, because Reed lies in his stories due to his delusional outlook, I also understand this is not a good attempt.

Cheap, low-threshold, low-creativity way to BTB. We can only presume that the husband went to a gypsy fortune teller to learn his LW cheated; as unbelievable and contrived as the rest of this story is, you should've just used that device, as well.

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Seriously, OP, that anyone would "plan his descent into madness" by not getting treated for syphilis is insane. Even if he did, he could not be sure that he would reach full "legal mental incapacity," whereupon he'd have a psychotic episode and murder his daughter, before dying. Absolutely the worst plotline I've ever seen. Winning the Power Ball Lottery three times is more likely.

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Story telling was okay, but no points for plotline. None. Zero. A reader's total, absoluter, suspension of disbelief along with ingesting mushrooms wouldn't make this thing readable.

OK. Retire the trophy. Worst piece of shit ever written on here. Author might want to get checked for late stage syphilis themselves. If it’s negative, get into therapy

Now that’s a BTB.

Just one time of mindless sexual pleasure, and it cost her EVERYTHING!!!!?!

Scores 5/5

Damn

That was fucking brutal. Now she has to care for him and mourn the daughter? I would say it was good revenge except he was insane, so he didn't even realise what he had done. With a different tactic could have been great.

Yeah, there were a couple of holes, the 750 minimum limit forced me to expand a couple of areas with more detail that made the areas ReedRichards pointed out more of a problem than if I had been able to shade the story with a bit more ambiguity

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The thing with revenge, though I do enjoy it, is you never know what the long term ramifications are going to be

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Or how it might jump the tracks you laid out for it

Too dark for me. Killing off the daughter who would be about 17 is just not cool. Somehow he found out about a single tryst in the linen closet? Unlikely even with the original story but it was left hinting that. So with the syph he knew she had screwed somebody but not who.

And then he had been going around screwing other women and giving them the disease and his wife never caught wind of that? Typhoid Mary reputation? His treatment would have been mandated at some point. Surely somebody would have dropped the word. Again a major flaw.

Glad to see you stepped up and wrote a story. Now you know how difficult it is.

Sorry. I had misread that it was Rick who was the typhoid mary.

Still a problem with that being how Mickey found out his wife had screwed around. He could not have been the one who castrated and maimed Rick. That news was not released until after the attack. Mickey would simply have been pissed as he supposed his wife had screwed the former med student. Hence his irrational approach at revenge.

Well written nothingness...2*

I haven’t seen this revenge on a cheating wife before, so I have to give you credit for coming up with something original. The revenge is brutal though, and it’s difficult to accept that the husband could plan and manage his insanity this perfectly. I don’t like killing the daughter though, that’s a bridge too far for me. I love a good BTB, but I like to see terminal justice on a cheating spouse’s lover when they are fully aware of a marriage. I can’t agree with killing children , even in fiction. I like the revenge on the wife, but I wish it hadn’t included the daughter.

Something taken from the darkest areas of a mind tormented by the need for hard and deep revenge.

Daughter's death, to the detriment of the bitch's suffering, seemed to me very exaggerated.

Even though, due to the text's justification, it turned out to be a problem of his condition if his health is not treated. But the diary reinforces the total tendency to end the traitor's life, while keeping her alive and lucid, to embitter her existence until death found her.

Very ominous and gloomy. But the text is coherent. Three stars because he got the idea out of his head and struggled to transfer it to paper.

But that's just my opinion.

Garbage. One Star.

No! No! Horrible.

Loved the premise. Not getting treated for syphilis will rot the brain eventually. If that's his plan then that's what happens without treatment. As an insane person, he can't be held responsible for his daughters death. The cheat whore who gave him the disease would have to bear that burden. Even before the disease rotted his brain he was insane with hatred because of her actions. How dare any commenter place blame of any kind on the wronged party. If the slut had kept her legs closed NONE of this would have occurred.

SICK story.

I usually do my best to be encouraging. In this case I cannot.

"A milestone" round her neck? Millstone, maybe?

It's millstone not milestone. Why did he need to go insane to kill someone? I mean, he must have already been insane to contimplate killing someone using a slow disease like Syphillus as his alibi. So dumb. He could have just shot her and ended up in the same place without syphillus. If he had continued to turn his brain to jelly so one day he could forget what he had done, then at least there would have been this gossamer thread to tie the (still awful) story together. The story was flawed, the plot preposterous. This is a zero star story but I always give a bonus star for trying.

Very low rating. Revenge on a cheating spouse is a good thing but it seemed like the wife got the easiest out of it, the dude is insane and killed his own daughter, their daughter is dead, she just has to take care of him. Not a good life by any means but still compared to the guy who she cheated with losing his manhood and her husband and daughter she escaped pretty free of most consequences compared to everyone else. A dark ending to a story that didn't need such a dark ending.

sad tail on the daughter but just another narcissistic wife story who thinks she deserves to get what she wants. the ending tells u that she only cares about herself..

Very creative idea...

Truly aweful, sorry but it was just insane

JJ

Wow, you really should read a book. First, they can change the will, she can contest it. Second, she is free of him. Once committed, the marriage is over. The property is hers and as the only living person she gets all life insurance, even of the kid. Also, most blood panels would have picked it up anyway. They would have done a full blood panel, which does include STD's. Also, as a general treatment, they would have given him a broad spectrum antibiotic just to make sure he was clear of a hidden infection. Further, unless he ends the marriage, she gets to determine his treatment up to and including removal of unnecessary medical support.

"he planned to become a milestone around my neck." Yup. Right.

As much as I cant tolerate Richards "writing", this was kind of worse than even his writing is.

“ And what better way to punish someone than to have their own revenge go sideways?” - what does this even mean? It sounds like you’re talking about the guy… but he wasn’t ‘punished’ by his revenge going sideways because he was completely demented by then. And his ‘revenge’ on his ex… is it even ‘revenge’ if you’re no longer coherent enough to witness it? This is just a mess.

What was this.....?

Who deserve to suffer?

Wow. Pretty fucking dark! So it only gets a four, since I wouldn't have gone where this went. But it's good enough for a four, since it is plausible. One cavil, though. Is there such a thing as asymptomatic untreated syphilis? If not, then she would obviously have gone mad, too. Maybe a better dark ending would have him get himself treated, and never let her know she had it, so she could be the one to decline and die from it.

You have some issues. Very dark "story"

Where was the revenge? There was no karma, no payback, just death. Pretty awful.

Well done, and very creative. A couple of misspelled words, but the unique plot won out in the end.

For fuck sake, it's called a divorce, and contrary to LW popular opinion, despite the initial struggles that the husband often goes through early on after a divorce, in the longterm the wife is the one who tends to fare poorly in the divorce, especially with kids to care for. Either that, or if you are gonna try to make a go of it, make the cheater walk on egg shells for a time figuratively speaking, a few years at least, and make her earn that trust back with the threat of future divorce hanging if she is unable to regain that trust.....or maybe with a permanent change in the power dynamic of the relationship, like having papers drawn up detailing how unfavorable a future divorce split will be if the guilty one gets caught cheating again, or maybe she's one of those immature women who needs her spouse to be controlling to the point of domineering to keep her dumb ass in line.

Milestone? This ending adds nothing and didn’t need to be written.

I think the only thing I need to address is a few commenters asking why he planned to kill the daughter, he didnt

He planned on being insane and a unending financial burden to the cheating wife, one whos parents and child would never forgive her if she attempted to drop him on the state system to save money for herself

I applaud the idea. For some people holding buring coals is the only way to be at peace. It is what it is.

author, you really should see someone for your mental health issues.

I'm sorry for your luck.

Could have been a different BTB story.

Nothing about your story makes any sense. As Reed wrote Mickey it is out of character for him to become possessed with such evil resentment. This was a man who did not allow others to control him all thru his young life, acknowledging then arising above circumstance with little thought for fault or cause, yet you wrote him as out of control lunatic, possessed by rage and the need for revenge to the point of long term obsession. No; doesn't work. Secondly, I don't believe for a second that such an invasive brain pathology would escape etiological identification, so your entire setup fails. Finally, nowhere in your little missive does Julie express regret or guilt for her actions (and in fact is dismissive of her behavior), nor does she express any real degree of grief for losing her only child. It sounds like she regrets losing a possession, or an opportunity or something; her self talk is mostly about her, about what SHE lost. Completely self absorbed bitch as far as I can tell and this doesn't fit the first story female MC either; in the first story there is at least some sensitivity to how her behavior would affect others. Here she sounds regretful if not resentful, certainly not punished, so you missed your stated objective. A piss poor effort all around.

" It sounds like she regrets losing a possession, or an opportunity or something; her self talk is mostly about her, about what SHE lost. Completely self absorbed bitch as far as I can tell and this doesn't fit the first story female MC either;"

YES Thank you, someone who gets it - cheaters (male or female) ARE self absorbed little asshole who dont care about others in the slightest, a fact most LW writers fail to protray

Very good. People just don't know to what extremes a jilted loving spouse may go especially if it was love everlasting for them.

This is awful.

Leaves me with a lot if questions. This ones pretty far fetched. A hell of a way to end your life and never to see or understand your revenge worked.

Plot Fault: If he studied and understood syphilis symptoms and progression that thoroughly he would have anticipated that he might lose control and do something unpredictable and counter to his plans. And I think it is perfectly legal to divorce a mentally incompetent person, as long as their estate gets its share of the assets. The government only cares about the money, and their cut.

In addition, the husband is now a dedicated full time fanatic of hate toward his wife, but she doesn't have a clue? No change in his demeanor, mannerisms, behavior, attitude and respect toward his wife?

Just another author who thinks people are Mr. Potato Head, just plug and unplug the personality traits and behaviors needed for that particular scene of the story. No normal human behaviors, consistency of attitude and values, patterns of day to day interaction and interests. From loyal loving grateful husband, to vindictive deadly hate filled monster. Hmmm . . . ., people must fuck you over a bunch, you can't tell a saint from Satan.

It is a great idea for a plot, and God knows it needed some sort of closure, but you majorly jumped the shark on this one.

Still, thanks for the effort.

1 time is all it takes for majority of the cheated spouse.

For a guy who likes to complain about other writer’s stories a lot, you are terrible. You write a like a lonely woman-hating incel who’s never had a real relationship.

Yeah...a great big wet sloppy nope for this one.

She gave her husband syphilis that she caught by cheating. He discovers the illness but refuses treatment for the infection and somehow keeps her from being notified as a sexual contact. Enough time passes that he has advanced tertiary syphilis. The wife, although infected longer and never treated, has no symptoms at all?

Uhhh...no.

aside the medical stuff that is ... lacking in some ways

the author punishing the wive by suffering the los of her child is... harsh since the child afaik did nothing to deserve this?

there are literaly hundreds of ways to do the deed in an better way

Did your other submission got deleted? Why?

Don't tell me the gatekeepers got you.

Psychotic. You need an editor for your rantings. All of this was pure horseshit.

Cuck shit. You must love cucks and whores. One star for lying and not using the cuck tag.

You suck as a writer. It would have been better to torcher his wife than kill his daughter. I hate people like you that have no compassion for the innocent.

Oh so vicious! LOVE IT!

So much hate. Let it go hun it will only cause you to suffer

Wow, I'd say he was really pissed. She gave him the worse STD on the plant, and cheated on him. She took his world from him, so he took hers. Again, wow! Well done. Keep writing, both of you.

XYZ

Clever idea for the burn but way to rushed. Usually i complain stories drone on to long with senseless unnecessary detail. This was the complete opposite

Not a big fan of this type of retribution to a cheating spouse. Grim.

One complete betrayal the vows, love, trust, etc... given to her by her husband, NO torment is enough. Same to a cheating husband, I take no gender sides, cheaters deserve to burn!

nope, never with kids involved. Worse than a one but that's as low as I can give.

Words fail me as they did you

I feel I need to post this comment yet again as so many commenters seem to be unable to understand, dont get me wrong, its . . .flattering? I guess that you get so emotionality invested you didnt pay attention but

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I think the only thing I need to address is a few commenters asking why he planned to kill the daughter, he didnt

He planned on being insane and a unending financial burden to the cheating wife, one whos parents and child would never forgive her if she attempted to drop him on the state system to save money for herself.

Why do you hate daughters so much?

I dont, I hate moral cowards

the guy in the story was a coward who refused to confront his wife

What was this?