All Comments on 'Erasing Julie Ch. 03'

payback is still a bitch. TK U MLJ LV NV

I think Gus was doing the right thing, but Katmai just had to fuck it up witth the ghost crap, Julie died a whore death, just let it be.

Put it in the "Non-Human" category. I don't read those stories.

I waited for THIS??

Next time you decide to write a multi part story, make sure it's complete. THEN, have someone else read it and give you feedback.

This started out good, but quickly went into a nose dive, right into the dirt.

SORRY....Suck City dude....

I need to know. Why did you do this to us? We've been waiting a long time for the finale and you give us a dead slut's ghost. Two things good about the ending. One it is unique. Two the idea of releasing your feelings to move on. That's an excellent theory which I might try myself, but it didn't belong in this tale. Us the readers were cheated out of the retribution she should have gotten. Death was too simple, too easy and her ghost appearing was preposterous. You're an excellent writer, but you screwed this tale out of the hall of fame by the ending.

Ok so I'm coming to this story quite late,first & foremost it was well written but...I felt that it was overly long,the reader didn't really need to know what Julie was doing every day for the 5 weeks she was away,it was basically the same thing in different locations. The Drug cartel story seemed rushed & out of place with the rest of the story & the ghost just didn't do it for me.

there was no reason to dive into troubled waters

a bloody ghost story???

Have it published on Halloween, that Is? I find it amusing that the revenge fetishists are turned off by a ghost! All the stories they like fit it one-size only boxes....

Lots of good ideas about the nature of the Human Condition in this story and yes guys try to release your ghosts it will make your lives more fun to live...

I'm not sure what to make of this ending. It seemed to veer off on a wild tangent. At least it wasn't entirely formulaic and predictable.

Katmai tried to split the baby in dispute ala Solomon. The BTB mafia got Julia's broken body on a platter & the RAACers got her soul. Frankly, the whole story went in the ditch when the gang raping Mexican drug cartel was ushered in.

I'm sure the author struggled to do as well as he did. The death by Dump Truck was almost as unnatural as Julie's impregnation The main item of import was the concept of ' erasure'. Fans of this story wanted to see how Gus & Julie would have coped long term with the abrupt TOTAL removal of a long-term spouse from each other's life.

Perhaps another author can better extend the concept as it was apparantlly beyond what Katmai was willing or able to do. I'm not crazy about Julie either as a character with deph ( Gus had his warts as well ) or as a suddenly enlightened, new-age, platitude spouting phantom.

Apparently Julie got a crash course in ethics imbued with the tread marks on her body. Katmai is due a healthy measure of credit for being a provocateur of novel ideas in the oft-staid Loving Wives forum.

I see a innovative author who has room for improvement but also an awareness of his shortcomings & past mistakes. He has core values that differ from the bulk of his audience. Trying to to appease the latter while remaining true to the former is a daunting task. I thank Katmai for his efforts & wish him well on this quest.

This guy needs to Learn edicate. No social skills, nor public manners. Forget about writing manners. His story sucks. Go back to 8th grade and start all over. Story line is used, people are boring, and idea is stale. And to top it ff, you make people wait too. Long for your garbage... Take it and wipe with it......

This is what we waited for over a month? Highly disappointing. A request to Katmai and all authors. Please complete your story first before posting it. I understand it takes time with personal life and all in the way which is why the story should be completed first before posting it because you never know when you shall get the time to write the next part. Stangstar06 does it well writes a long story but writes it in one part, that way for those who want to read it in parts can read it slowly but those who want to read it at once can do so as well. This suspense and wait for a long time is not nice.

Now about the story, I understand it takes a lot of hard work in writing one so speaking negative about it is not the right thing to do but this one was all messed up. The ghost angle was not required and it make it way too easy. Julie got away too easiliy in the end because no matter what one says death is not suffering. Had she lived then she would have suffered seeing the husband with another woman, his hatred for her in his eyes etc etc but out here she wins all the way. This essentially goes against the husband. He cant get to see her suffer, plus he suffers because she comes back as a ghost and refuses to leave him. In the end she is born as his grandchild and speaks to him so he suffers more? I am not sure if others agree but everything went right for Julie and everything went against Gus. This is like a Matt Moreau story though the man is not a wimp at all like characters in MM's stories but the poor guy tries to be a man but the author has a cruel twist and continues torturing him. This promised so much and delivered so little in the end. Sad. very sad. 1 star rating to compensate the 5 stars i gave in the first two parts, just screwed up too badly in the end and too thing for this I and many others waited for days..... As i said just sad.

but you hit a long foul ball... with this chapter...

I do know of ADC... after death communication... this story needs a better ending... consider a re write

This story took a total left turn at the end. She came back delusional thinking that Gus would want to be married to her after she is pregnant with someone elses child. Her dying made sense because of the pregnancy and divorce she would be distracted and not driving as defensively as she could. The karmic cord and debt is a slap in the face to Gus and his family if they are praticing some other religion than bhuddiasm. I disagree with the ghost saying that his forgiveness would help both of them move on. One of the comments said that even in death Julie was trying to control and manipulate Gus to her advantage. In Karma she has done wrong and must balance her debt to Gus and the universe. His forgiving her is good for Julie but dosen't do much good for Gus. What is Julie supposed to do to cancel the negative debt to Gus if the karmic model is followed then without forgiveness Julie is coming back as a animal or cockroach because of all the pain she caused. Forgiveness lets her bypass that stage and get back to being a person(Granddaughter is a stretch). Strange take on the story and didn't fit with the end but the date. Personally the reality of the situation would have been that she had a half mexican baby and was alone while Gus and Shelly hooked up and had a content life while Julie made something of herself.

Fucking ghosts? FFS!!! What a fucked up story! Pity we can't have minus scores. You were worried about us waiting for this shit for so long? Why the fuck did you submit it?

At least you didn't have Gus taking Julie back, and he handed the new one back and got the hell out of town.

Well, apparently the bitch does win after all....not cool

You committed one of the worst betrayals of all time.......taking a 2 part good LW story and turn it into a gost story. The LW mafia will never forgive you.

Well, the subtitle of the story did give us a hint......helluva Haloween surprise......helluva surprise.

Good writing is good writing and a story well-told is exactly that.

They always claim love and caring for the husband but they are so full of shit.

All cheating wives deserve the fate she received.

as far as the ghost part that ruined any hope this story had.

I can see that the women hating wife beaters don't like it but I thought it was great.

That's what you do to your readers? After investing time in reading this tale you leave us with a Possessed Baby? Total crap

Contrary to what some others have said, I loved the ending. A bit off beat and at first I thought that killing off Julie was a bit over the top, but the voice from his new grand daughter was very appropriate to Halloween. After all, Julie did warn him about not forgiving her and the Karmic ties. I gave you five stars for an entertaining read.

Very nice twists. Thanks.

As someone else mentioned this was a poor attempt to satisfy both the burn the bitch and RAAC crowds.

Sadly it ended up pissing every logical person off with a Chucky tale of dead vindictive wife reincarnating in his granddaughter!

Katmai should have stuck to his comfort zone, which going by multiple stories, seems to be RAAC beyond the realms of ordinary - at least that way someone would have thought it probable and been happy with it.

The first chapter was good the second started the ground work for the forgiveness plot. Leaving aside the external spiritual visits and the possible ectoplasm VD he might get from the ghostly cum gurgling gutter slut. With 20/20 hind-sight I say there were and are better ways for him to find release. Because its all hollows eve you could have used Voodoo, Houston is right next to Louisiana or in Alaska, a shaman, anything but having to deal with the back stabber only on her terms. You left him only one option to find peace and then you allowed her to still have power. Anyways there is my rank. Good writing, whacked story 4

The story got strange and then came apart at the seams. It didn't end. It didn't continue. It didn't matter any more. It became the ravings of a diseased mind, and not especially interesting ravings. To me, it simply lost the basic requirements for a story.. like a plot. The writer lost his way.

And to think I waited anxiously to read this drivel.

Well, it ain't the end of the world, you can do better next time.

i enjoyed the story immensely. thanks for your work

The ending was a little weak (the ghost part) but since its halloween that's okay. Keep writing please.

but not as harsh. I get the impression that the author took a lot of the comments to heart, and maybe tried to change directions and mix it up a little.

I couldn't see a credible way to create a reconciliation, and the revenge/erasing had been accomplished by the end of chapter 2. Any continuation along those lines would have been in the nature of an epilogue.

I actually thought the ghost element was kind of cool-very fitting that it appears on Halloween. I also thought some of the messages were good about happiness, living in hate, and the nature of forgiveness, etc.

But, the ending really isn't one at all. It was kind of like one of those ironic endings from an episode of the Twilight Zone or something....just a little twist to keep you wondering. But, it didn't serve the story in this case.

Had to mark this one a little lower than Ch. 02, which was lower than the excellent Ch. 01. Still, thanks for the effort, and for trying out something new in the LW genre.

Hahaha, personally I thought this was hilarious. I'm quite sure it's not MEANT to be funny, but this story was so wacky and made so little sense, you might as well be watching the Twilight Zone.

Slamdawgg and Karan made some good points about Julie getting away with it. She did not suffer the consequences of her own actions. She did not have to live with being divorced, having her exhusband hate her guts, her children being disgusted with her actions.

Katmai got the entire karma thing wrong as well, as oscar73 said. I'm no expert on this karma thing, but even I know that it's about afterlife justice. Do good, and you will be rewarded (IE, you will reincarnate as a higher being, a better station in your next life, etc). Do evil, and you will be punished, mainly being reincarnated as a lesser being. Rats and cockroaches and the like.

Nothing that says that the evildoer would be bound to the victim, because that would be punishing the victim, as is the case here. If the evildoer managed to get the forgiveness of the victim while alive, it would be a different case, but postmortem demand of forgiveness? Making the victim die prematurely because the dead evildoer is "draining his life energy"? Katmai made that up, or borrowed it from other things. This sure ain't karma.

When Julie's ghost first appeared and started talking, I originally thought it would kinda go like this:

"Gus, I'm gone. Dead and buried. The person you hate no longer exists. Let your hate go, don't wallow in the past. Move on."

Instead, we get this:

"Gus, you MUST forgive me, or I will haunt you until your death, which will be hastened, by the way, because I'm sucking out your lifeforce. So hurry up and forgive me, or it'll only get worse for you."

This particular part is chilling, if you think about it:

"If you don't forgive me before you die, we have to do it all over again, Gus. We keep doing it over and over again until we get it right. It's one of the Rules here."

So....Julie was DESTINED to cheat on Gus? Over and over and over? Julie did not mention anything about trying to make up to him, or get him to forgive her while she was still alive. No, she will die without making amends, and Gus will have to forgive her without Julie having earned that forgiveness. The only reason to, is so he can break that cycle.

This makes it sound like HE is the karmic evildoer, instead of the victim.

And ofcourse, the final cruel mindtwist, she reincarnates as his granddaughter. Talk about a karmic kick in the balls.

So a lot of commenters on the first chapter got it right. Julie did manage to manipulate Gus enough to make him forgive her ("forgive me, or suffer an early death, and we will do this all over again"), and they DID get back together,however unorthodox ("I'm your granddaughter, you can't run away from me now!"), no matter how much he did NOT want it. RAAC by way of horror.

This chapter is definitely poorly thought out and needlessly paranormal. My advice is to trash this ending and rewrite it with and ending that resolves the issues you've created. What happened with her lover to make her want to come backand try to make amends? Whose child was she pregnant with? What was her motivation/expectation for getting back with Gus?

I suspect you will get other suggestions from readers and those with more writing experience. If this is you're best shot at crafting and ending, then you have work to do learning to write.

Thanks for your effort.

you had one kind of story going on and changed it to stephen king ending. i was waiting for it but then it was a little flat. the wife dying was ok and the lover in prison was good too but a ghost and the baby becoming the dead cheating wife? continunity of story line out the window. but it was a great read for 1 & 2 but only ok for 3. i rated the first ones a 5 but i dont think i will rate this one, i was too disappointed in the story ending and i dont want to trash the rating.

I give you a lot of credit - you write catchy, intriguing, emotionally moving stories that suggest conslusions that aren't even close - but you end them with qualification and in redeeming fashion - as stories go...so - Thanks - Again!

I read some of the comments from others and disagree with the consensus that you dealved into the occult. I believe his sub-conscious mind did the Julie confrontation and the only time I challenged my opinion was when she told him Shelly had one child and age...that stayed with me until I remembered that he somewhat new Shelly and very well may have already known she had one child.

You thankfully left out the horror, the stress, the anguish and a description of a man with a torn heart that damn near drives him to suicide. The facts were there but you didn't labor us with them. Twenty five years of what you vaguely eluded to as a man who was totally, romantically and emotionally tied to his life mate so...his sub-conscious mind worked him over - specifically, he wanted to forgive her because he knew he would always care - But, his conscious mind wanted to destroy her for the betrayal. Her image was his conscious!

I know, it happened to me years ago, I still love her, hate her and wish we still had what I thought we had. Friends kept me company for many months and knew that I was at risk so...

Thanks again for good story, sorry for your personal problems and the delay on chapter 3 but you made it worth the wait!

I didn't care much for the ghost thing, but at least you wrote something new (I think)

Try going back to pre school and learning how to write. From the jump it was crap. No imagination, no excitement, no buildup, just plain boring. This is what you made people wait for, for months. You must have a totally boring social life. Try going back to school and starting all over. Also, try getting out in the real world and meeting people and seeing what real life is all about outside you 2x4 cell. There is a big world out there for you to learn from. Get a life man.

but the end was fragmented and disappointing.

GMAFB! Why not have her die from 'Blue Ice from Above'? Oh, yeah, too fast! Actually, DBDT (death by dump truck) rarely gives enough time to get to the bedside from Houston, either! How about a small, undetected hand grenade one of the cartel rapists 'fisted' into her uterus? At least the author would NOT have to invent a crappy distracted dump truck driver! It may not be obvious, but I HATE killing off an awkward player...it is where the tension (meat of the story) resides!

Well, until you fucking bring her BACK in as Hubby's Guardian Ghost! Big Problem: X-Sweetie (not Ex-Sweetie) said she couldn't lie any more, but HGG claimed she loved him, and that was not true while she was alive and would not become true just because she died. Her return to Anchorage and attempts to reunite were practical, not due to her love for Gus!

I marked a four for the Ch. because it was well-written - overall, however, I would give the series a 3* at best! Mainly because it IS original! Weird, but original!

Karma Justice is for the victim, the husband.Hell is for the evil doer but you twisted the concept of Karma-do more research on this eastern belief.I am Chinese Buddhist(Mahayana) and I get confused by your logic.

Liked the Story and the way things came together. Esp. the Ghost of wives past. now if husbands past could haunt wives that would be Karmic Justice.

Unlike some others, I enjoyed your story. I thought the third chapter was interesting, but would have liked it if Julie and Gus had truly reached closure with each other. I agree with your premise that there is no hell. However, I also believe that karma is ultimately about balance. At some point in time Julie will need to experience Gus’ pain and emotions (love, hate, etc.) and Gus will need to experience Julie’s. Each will in turn need to accept and yes, forgive each other before they will be able to move on either in this world or on the next plane of existence. Otherwise, like Julie mentioned they will be forever tied to each other, unable to move forward.

It would be nice to see how they eventually come to be at peace with each other. Although, I don't see how with her now being his grand daughter.

everything was great the finish was weird....her eyes ....the ghost comments...it was unsettling...but if that was the authors intent, it hit the mark... B R A V O 5 stars

I've got to agree that the first two chapters were much better than this one. It was not believeable that the female therapist became romantically involved with her patient. That would never happen. The ghost was mort believeable than that.

specially not with that interesting twist at the end. Will this latest "version" grow and force Gus to finally forgive her? I admit I'm intrigued here...Well Done, K.

Oh well, its your story. so I guess you can end it the way you want it to end.

Well Halloween is upon us and this one just might fit well in the Halloween category. Excellent story. I do hope to see more of your work

Not sure this chapter worked for me.While U agree chuck needed to move on this wad disappointing.Julie's ghost was an interesting twist but in the end nothing.really csme of it.To forgive Julie ,she would need to ask for it,instead she is still the same self centered person she was,she never explains,never admits she is wrong,instead shr puts the onus on him,basically tries to scare him into forgiving her.Worse,she now inhabits the grand daughter,what will Chuck do with.that poor little girl ,prob will hate her,too.I understand the idea of going through lives to learn lessons,it seems like Julie and Chuck have been there in past lives...but the

grand daughter? The karmic debt seems to be on her not julie.

Yeah the plot is over the top but so what,it is a story:)

I guess the idea is about the cost of not reconciling and letting go(teconciliation as in forgiving,not in getting back together) but as written it just leaves a void to.me. MYbe Katmai is laying ground for a story around chuck and the granddaughter..

After the complete derailing of part 3 of the Nice Guy story why does anyone expect anything different. 2 stories building up something and a third to tear it down. I really enjoyed the first two parts of both stories but the third in each did not seem to match. Curious.

Another own ghoul. 5*

Julie pays the ultimate price and Greg gets off virtually scott free not quite fair Greg should be singing soprano or very high opera after years of bubba

Good read thanks for sharing.

You were writing a believable, emotionally gripping story and completely screwed it up. What a waste.

This was great, if a little over the top, through chapter two.

With this one, you went Sixth Sense on us. Shittily, I might add.

I looked forward to this complete disappointment. Badly done.

The guy finally forgives his ex-wife and she's allowed to return as his grand-daughter?!

So in your world, if someone you trust with your life and given your all to for years screws you over to the maximum extent, YOU basically have to apologize/forgive them or YOU get punished?? And, as many have pointed out, its not like the wife didn't get off easy getting a relatively quick death, instead of having to try to pick up the pieces and live in the screwed up world she created for herself. In your world there is no retribution, real punishment, or hell to worry about, unless you spend your life trying to the right thing; then your screwed by a conscience, ghosts, and possessed kids. So what's the point in not trying to get away with everything you might be able to in your world? Can you imagine a sort of a fractured Xmas Carol where Scrooge would come back to tell Bob Cratchet and Tiny Tim that all the crap he dished them was ice cream and if they didn't say so everyday from now on, THEY would be in big trouble. Makes sense IN YOUR WORLD. 1*

You really have a twisted mind. Your need for evaluation is very apparent. In your sickness the innocent are destroyed and only can be saved by what???? I hope you meet Karma if this is a way of trying to place the blame on the innocent you destroyed by your cheating actions. But then you probably are a Democrat who only can blame someone else for YOUR actions

didn't see that coming.

I think when the Author has not a good idea to carry on the story the writer starts to use the deadly accident/criminal dramaturgy.

The good writer uses the deadly accident/criminal at the begining of the story and the all story plot is the solution of the aftermath.

A good example is DG Hear's story "Doing The Right Thing" (Romance) where the Author died the cheating wife in accident at the begining of the story so the almost all story is the aftermath.

SS06's ghost story is the aftermath of the accident.

I think if the Author has not any suitable idea the deadly accident the save buoy to end the story.

However this Author gave wide berth to the interesting story plot. If is Alaska among the 6 USA states where the exhusband does not pay child support for bastards, when the No DNA test proof children are below 4 years old? If would Julie want the bastard? I invent the RUNNING AUTHOR category, when authors run away the built conflict situation with accidental catastrophy. I prefer the good running husband stories as JPB's "The Trip to Rancho Mirage" (Non-Erotic) to the RUNNING AUTHORS!

The story was going so well, 5star until you killed her off and then stretched it out with a stupid ghost story. Pathetic! Not even a 1star

This Chapter was a real cop out, especially, when you consider the long break taken by the author...in fact it seemed like we were reading another story with a completely different set of characters..really disappointing because the story had so much potential...Please author take some time off and do a Re-write...

is alway a guilty conscience. TK U MLJ LV NV

Right up to the "HELLO GUS" is was great. That last part is what sank the ship. Should have stopped when Gus was reminded of Julie's eyes.

I finished your story at, "She died that night". I've been through the mill in real life & all the forgiveness crap is just that. In fact, it is dangerous in the long run. Good story, great ending - "She died that night."

While I enjoyed your story, I feel you let her off the hook.

I want to hear her side of the story and also hear her try and defend her actions and

reconcile.

Her family should have their kick at the can as well.

Gus, he deserves answers, she needs to be held accountable. Killing her off is a unfair to the reader.

Ghost part only added to Gus' despair.

I liked how you handled the ghost portion but it is still a cop out.

Part 1 & 2 were good. Although you strung us out for part 2. I though by the time part 3 was going to hit it was going to be a block buster. Well, you certainly disappointed.

7 weeks of waiting and you turned out pure garbage. You must be a brain surgeon by day, or working on the presidential campaign. But at least you have a quality day job, because you'll never make it as a writer, if this is the finale you chose for a half decent story. Do try knitting as a hobby, you may find it more fulfilling.

Great start, I gave parts 1 & 2 five stars.

Unfortunately I think the wheels fell off in part 3. I didn't care for the "ghost story" aspect, but that's just my personal taste, not necessarily a negative if it's well done. Rehnquist's "Goin' Back Home Again" has a ghost that definitely works in that story.

Julie's death felt like a cop out. Part 3 started with the potential for lots of conflict to drive the story forward, and you bailed out on us by killing her. The first two parts show that you have the ability, consider writing an alternate version of part 3 where Julie pulls through and they fight to a resolution (though not necessarily a reconciliation) despite Gus's attempts to erase her.

..nonsense

So in your world do widows and orphans who have been robbed and swindled of their last pennies have to apologize to the thieves or they won't receive peace? What an idiot you are.

it's like the person who wrote the initial installment and the one who wrote the last installment, here, are two completely different person. <p>

not only that, the first was decently good, good enough to receive, I think, a 4 star from me. <p>

this one a ZERO star, if that were allowed.

It is not that this story is badly written. It is that this story is morally evil and quite frankly offensive. Julie actually returns to her soul cold husband Karen her lover's child and expects him to accept her back and I guess deal with or accept the baby.

She does not apologize. She does not admit she was wrong.

And just when ahe has a little bit of pain and BEGINS to suffer some consequences in the story ....she gets killed halfway into part three... Then reappears as a ghost to make the husband suffer even more.

Think about the wife as a ghost... She is threatening to kill her husband early by some sort a mystical from beyond the grave supernatural powers.

But even when she's supposedly is gone from his life... It turns out that she is not really. She gets to torture him some more through the grand child for the rest of his life.

We don't know why... We don't know how... And we don't understand the justification. We just know the ending is awful disgusting immoral and offensive

Katmai, I wanted to personally congratulate you for this story. Reading the venomous comments by so many of the other readers has me rolling on the floor with laughter.

I enjoyed that your achieved your goal at pressing so many emotional buttons with these pretentious, perpetually adolescent males. Funny considering how often they complain about women and their emotional tirades.

Their whining about "How dare any woman commit actions that society designates as white male prerogatives!" I'm guessing they'll never grow up, man up and comprehend the shades of grey that make up all our lives.

Again, congrats and I am looking forward to your future literary creations.

The story was entertaining with great potential in part 1. I would like the author to try to take his story along a different path starting with part 2 or part 3. I think the author really misfired on this ending but the story is good enough to rise from the ashes.

People with small outlooks --- who are okay with tunnel visions, flat earth theories so long as they are built on "valid" arguments based on holy nonsense of this or that types, etc. --- go with what HarryofVA said as to WHY or HOW the story is "bad." The criticism of the various nastiness and inconsistencies are VALID as HarryVA pointed out. <p>

I hardly think those are very important. <p>

HDK's critique is larger, broader, & more sound/meaningful: it is about the AUTHOR's idiocy in turning a good story into a meaningless NON-STORY. <p>

That's what I think is important. The failure here is NOT the story or the character, as Harry of VA CORRECTLY/validly noted. The failure here, INSTEAD, is the WRITER. It doesn't necessarily mean Katami, the author, is evil, stupid, bad, or whatever. As HDK more gently put it, Katami just lost his way, as an author... by making a decently good story into an idiotic, mindless non-story piece of writing. <p>

Big difference. <p>

Most decently intelligent, sophisticated readers CAN take tongue in cheek pieces, even the more subtle kinds.... But there HAD TO BE A COHESIVE, coherent STRUCTURE to both planning and delivery. <p.

You, FOR EXAMPLE, can't/shouldn't start out writing a semi serious story about cheating, trials and tribulations... and then, after 3 long installments, ended up making it into a total, mindless, tongue in cheek Halloween story just because you posted the last installment during Halloween, for fuckin' Jesus, Mohammed & Bhudda sakes!

@ fanfare 1. You can congratulate for the deuexmachina deadly accident, because the Author was not any idea to carry on well the story. Not only in this story I wrote complain for the end solution deadly accident for example at Sid0604's story "Karma Ch. 03" as well. The story could bring interesting thing, if in Alaska the Family Law does not know the DNA test paternity in the divorce!!!!!!!!!! If the husband how could manage the bastard support? (Wich 6 states in the USA does not the exhusbands pay children support for bastards (if they are below 4 years old)?????????) The Author run away the story logic.................

2. Before the XXth Century in the Western Culture many husbands used service of prostitutes or were loverboys and the fidelity rate was about 75% of the wives. Genetic investigate shows 20% of the children were not sired by the husbands in the XIXth Century.

It is interesting to understand some people to be equal for the men and women means MUTUALITY. The MUTUALITY in the XXIst Century does not mean only the wife may be extramarital adventure and the husband must be at home faithful and to eat the creampies, to do MMF sex for the wife or to bring up bastards. The XXIst CENTURY is not the reverse of the before XXth Century family model. If the wife wants free sex hunting that means the husband is free for everything. What is the opinion about if the husband uses the common bank deposite for escort girl sevice, because he could get extramarital adventure (HE IS NOT A WOMANIZER) and so the 50%-50% will be less for the wife in divorce case???????

Mutuality, mutuality this is the main foundation of the most revenge stories!!!!!!!!!!

Please go away. No offense but your posts rarely make sense.

@ Anon I am glad for it because I write for my pleasure. Some Author writes selfpleasure, so Ican write comments for selfpleasure! Earlier I got angry answers and injuries,(in feedback as well) for my comments so I like the selfpleasure comments without injuries.

You are certainly entitled to write your comments for your own pleasure but, wouldnt it be better if you made them a little more understandable???

I loved the part of pissing on her grave, I thought that was marvelous ! I don't know much about the after life but I do know a ghost can't force you to forgive them--that's just retarded. What can happen is Julie's memories keeping her from moving on when she's had unfinished business at the time of her death-- I agree the hatred needed to dissolve in order for the husband to move on but this in it self wouldn't of had Julie the cum slut forcing the poor delusional hubby to forgive her. I actually would've liked Julie to live so it can be a constant reminder of what exactly she gave up for Greg. Killing her was letting her off the hook too easily. The slut deserved worst, the worst would've been, husbandless , homeless & loneliness. I really wish you hadn't killed her off. I still enjoyed the story because Gus didn't turn into a wimp towards the end.

DUNA you almost never post on the subject at hand.

No one ever can ever seem to follow anything you say.

even worse is your tendency to make 4 5 6 7 posts in thread and none of them directed at anyone

I was really enjoying this story and had thought it was one of the best ones I had read in a very long time. I was so excited to see that you had finally posted the final segment of the story. However, my excitement like this story quickly died the moment this idiotic ghost nonsense showed up in the story and completely ruined what had been an excellent tale. Even worse is the cryptic cliffhanger ending, which effectively brought no closure or resolution to the entire story whatsoever. It's your story and you can write it the way you want, that's your right. But it still begs the question from this reader and I suspect many others, WHY in the world would you ruin such a fine story at the very end?

So much time spent erasing Julie but she spent only a few days feeling some of the pain she inflicted on Gua and her kids. That was the most disappointing part of the story and then she comes back to lecture Gus on forgiveness. Another contrast was how Julie was ready to toss Gus under the bus for most of the 5 weeks she was away but when she gets back she suddenly cannot live without Gus. The point is that Gus was a backup when loverboy no longer wanted her after the rapes. When Julie the Ghost showed up Gus should have called the Winchester Brothers from Supernatural TV show to release her from her haunting Gus. Even with her death Gus can not catch a break from this lying cheating slut. Why couldn't a dead George visit Gus to get him to release his hatred of Julie? Lastly, a Succubus Julie as a granddaughter does not build for happy family gatherings.

So much for a spirit not being able to lie.

Man you got a lot of bad press about this storie.I guess it being nearer Holloween yea I can see it, we've waaaaiteeeeed for this one to be done man julie did some things and got some things done to her that deserved more then getting hit by a dump truck I mean garbage is attracted to garbage, but it would have been nice for her to live and watch her husband (Gus) get to the Millions That Greg Had and still marry that fine ass shelly Green. And trying to get her husband back for the rest of her life always being unsuccessful. Remember she is damaged goods with jose's and nems baby.(pun) intended.

Ending makes me wonder if something bad is going to happen to Gus, after all his wife never paid for anything she did wrong and on top of that she still in his life when she does not deserve it, makes it seem like you are saying its ok to do bad and in the end you will be rewarded.

The ending was not good. It doesn't make a speck of sense given the rest of the story. I won't be reading anything else of yours.

I have to admit I waited with bated breath for this tale. In fact, having been offline for almost a month, I went LOOKING for it.

Let me say the good: It was not as bad as Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.

There were some interesting ideas in there, but you didn't annunciate the properly.

To wit: Julie comes back from the dead and says something like "we are stuck doing this until you forgive me for what I did. In fact, by NOT forgiving me, it allows me to come back and torment you some more."

This, as other posters have noted, give a total lie to justice and redemption. Gus seeking 'forgiveness' or 'release' PURELY to get this woman off his ass defeats the purpose! It isn't that he wants to change. It is that he wants her out of his life! The whole procedure of 'erasing her' was what put the negativity in his soul. All he did by this method was extend the metaphor postmortem.

I DID like the fact that you added forgiveness AND release. I was rubbing my chin, wondering if that was an actual valid psychological tool. So you had me thinking and nodding there. And I liked that Gus stayed true to character by NOT blithely forgiving Julie. To do so would have been a 90 degree twist of who he was. The readers would have been...ah...upset. Think torches and pitchforks.

But here is the problem: Julie gets off scott free and gets to make his life hell some more in a manipulative fashion. SHE suddenly becomes the problem.

What she should have said was something like this as a ghost. "Gus, whatever I did for you, it's done. There is nothing I can do to make amends and because of that, I'm stuck in Limbo. I can't go forward and I can't go back! But you...you still live. I did bad things to you and I admit it. But your choices, the way YOU dealt with the circumstances I forced on you...it's chewing at your soul! I can see the shadows behind you and I want to spare you this...horrid circumstance. I can't ask you to forgive me. How could I? Death removes illusions and evasions and now I get to see firsthand what my life was in the last two years, unsoftened by romance and stupid soppy feelings. I was a horrible selfish person."

"But you need to find a way to deal with this. I want you to be HEALTHY and HAPPY! It won't make a difference to me! it's...it's too late!"

Then you have the warp and weft to do a combined Christmas Carol and Topper...which would have burned a lot more pages, but character archs and resolutions to complicated mental damage takes some time. Part of the disillusionment with this section is how 'wham, bam, thank you madam' the ending was. I don't mind the dump truck. Sometimes, life does that to you.

Now originally, the baby thing seemed gratuitious but if taken in a Bob Marley direction, having her come back and try again in a baby would make sense. She'd be unstuck in Limbo...and as a story circle, Gus and Shelly could try to get JULIE off this merry go round of infidelity so she made better decisions.

Sorry to prattle on this much.

Yep! Except this one might just keep on wrecking. Maybe Julie did come back as a demon. Myself, I'm waiting on the next chapter. I would bet that Katmai could tell us.

Karma,

My daughter is getting married next March. I would like your permission to use Gus' es speech to hie daughter. I think you did a masterful job explaining what marriage is all about. If you would please send me an email and let me know if you are willing to let me use the speech. My email is ljsmith@hotmail.com. Thanks for the story.

Kiddo

Gus' dead wife is back to torment him through his new grandchild. Apparently he still has to forgive his lying, cheating,, pregnant(but not his) whore of a dead wife before she might get out of his life permanently? He has the right to be happy. Great story up to the ghost! I hate it now!!!

I'm no writing expert but I see two problems with having Julie returned as a ghost:

1. The drama is lost. The LW fiction got turned into a sci-fi/fantasy or horror story that requires suspension of disbelief making the whole story unrealistic.

2. The consistency is lost. The story universe is no longer the &quot;real&quot; world but a world of urban fantasy. It's not a good idea to change the story category or universe part way through because that is a good way to lose the readers' interest. They signed up for a LW story, not a horror story.

Weak, unsatisfying, ,. WT Heck you got against justice, happiness, and healing for victims?

You can never completely "erase Julie"! Yes, I really thought you lost this story when you had her return as a ghost, and even if we could get on board with it, the ending just completely sucked. It was as if you were going for an episode of "the twilight zone" instead of a here-to-fore above average cheating wife story. You had worked so hard in the previous chapters that to have it all dissolve in this way was a major let down. OK, maybe the ultimate lesson was for Gus to get to a point for forgiveness so that he could let go of his anger. But this exact outcome could have been reached without turning her into a ghost. I even liked her dying, and I thought that may be she would take the suicide route, since she had nothing left and her VD would be too painful to live with. If she had killed herself, and spared Gus the divorce, I think he probably could have forgiven her memory, and then moved on to another relationship. But really, I ask you, why go through all the drama and intrigue of drug cartels and Mexican rape, only to have it end in such a fairytale fashion. If I'm correct, the VD revelation never comes out, as she doesn't tell anyone except the FBI agent. So why was a detail like that necessary, if you were never going to have any of the characters act on it? I think you wanted to present a sweeping arch of a woman caught up in her choices, and confused by her feelings, but you never deliver completely on her approaching any sort of catharsis or realization that would have changed her character and the choices she might have made with the rest of her life had she lived. You tried to dabble with it, but none of the dialogue was strong enough to convey any real sentiment that would drive the intended character development. Even the few "magical" therapy sessions you gave details for felt stilted and unrealistic. This was a shame, because you set up a situation for guy deserving of revenge, and life came along to deliver that revenge on the cheaters. But if she all ready had received her karmic retribution, why would she still be tied to the man she so severely wronged? See, this is the weakness of presenting philosophy in these stories. If you as the author don't understand it well enough to explain it, your audience will NEVER understand it well enough to accept it.

all closet cuckolds want to relive the cucking of this character, the humiliation of cuckhood, the lonely exile to cuckdom.

Cuck on brother, cuck on....

A fucking ghost story. Way to crap all overva fairly good story.

One of the worst endings on this site.

Such a pity as chapters 1 and 2 were so very good.

DAMN!!

You had it going so well too.

Terrible ending to a good story. Ugly is too kind.