Erica

A SHORT TREATISE ON THE USEFULNESS OF MIRROR NEURONS AND HUMAN COMPETITIVENESS

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.

Chapter 1 -- MONK'S MITZVAH

Erica took another deep puff on the joint, then asked, "Monk, you were happily married, right?"

We were in the parking lot outside a jazz club getting high in my car. Like a lot of urban millennials, Erica doesn't own one.

She had recently moved to town and wandered into the local bar where I hang out. She wasn't a ten --maybe a seven -- (I'll stop using the numerical rating system when all of my female friends have abandoned it too) -- but she definitely had the young thing going for her -- exotic, semitic good looks; thick, dark wavy hair; nice legs. Her breasts were small but perky, B cup I'm guessing, though I never saw her wear a bra. The most striking thing about her was her ruby red lipstick. Her mouth a red gash. I wondered if she was advertising her specialty. As it turned out, nothing could've been farther from the truth. I struck up a conversation with her in the bar, and got her to try my key lime pie cocktail. She liked it so I ordered her one. They're very potent.

At the time, I wasn't really interested in her, but I was working on my picking-up-women-in-bars muscles and she seemed like a good test. I'm sure I wasn't what she was looking for, but I'm the one with whom she ended up engaging. I told her I was heading off to another bar to see a Balkan horn band, and after I explained what a Balkan horn band was, she wanted to come with me. They were good. We stood in the back of the room listening for a few minutes, then Erica grabbed my hand and made me go up by the stage to dance with her. The band was playing a polka so I gave her a quick polka lesson (LEFT RIGHT LEFT, RIGHT LEFT RIGHT). We danced and laughed and had a thoroughly enjoyable night. Most girls really do just want to have fun. Here's a tip guys. Want girls? Be fun.

During the course of the evening, we discovered that we both loved listening to jazz --particularly free jazz, which sounds like noise to a lot of people. I've got friends to do stuff with, but none of them like jazz at all, no matter what kind. Since she also had no one with whom to attend jazz concerts, I suggested that we let each other know when there was something coming up that we'd like to see. We'd been accompanying each other to shows for the past few months, and had grown fairly close. She felt free to talk about intimate subjects with me since I'd told her flat out that her age precluded her from being a romantic interest. She's 27, but she looks younger. An abundance of youthful enthusiasm makes her seem even younger than that. At the same time she knows a lot of things that many people will never know about: Terry Riley, John Zorn, Judy Chicago, Robert Guston, Florence Knoll, Zora Neale Hurston, Gaudeamus Igitur for chrissake. She was a voracious reader. She also possessed a level of humorous sarcasm that most women in their twenties don't. I love that. Oh, by the way, I'm 64 and retired. I tell people I'm "independently comfortable."

"Incredibly happily married."

"So how do you do that? My parent's marriage only lasted until I was 6."

I try not to act like I'm bestowing pearls of wisdom on the young, but since she was asking, I figured why not?

"Secrets to a happy relationship. Let's see. Don't go into any relationship with preconceived notions of how relationships are supposed to be. A relationship is whatever two people mutually decide it is, and every relationship is different. And by the way, none of them are "as seen on TV". Thinking that there's a standard that relationships need to adhere to can actually be the thing that ends relationships. That includes sexual relationships. I repeat. No two are the same."

She passed me the joint and after a deep hit. I continued, "Don't go into a relationship, thinking the other person will change, or thinking that you won't. Being in a relationship changes everything for both parties over time, and it's good to accept that rather than fight it. Embrace change."

I passed the joint back to Erica.

"Ummmm. Keep as many individual friends as you can, and make new friends as a couple. Take an interest in your partner's stuff: hobbies, work life, interests. If you get past thinking that your "stuff" is better, you'd be surprised how interesting someone else's stuff can be. Sense of humor always helps. Be as honest as you can about how you feel without causing your partner pain. Say 'I love you.' every day, even on the days when you love them slightly less. Try very hard to not go to bed mad. That's about it I guess."

She pursed her lips while she absorbed this information. Then turned to me and asked, "What about sex."

"Yes, definitely sex."

She laughed and replied, "No, I mean, did you and your wife have good sex the whole time you were married?"

"Less as the years went by, but it was definitely regular and it was definitely good. That's another thing you have to work at sometimes, but it's not really too onerous a task."

"Ha, I guess it shouldn't be."

"Since you brought it up, I've got one more secret to a happy marriage."

"And that would be?"

We were already too high and she was lighting up yet another joint. We had the windows cracked and smoke must have been billowing out of them like an old Cheech and Chong movie. People were walking by my car, and we got the occasional thumbs up.

"Permission to speak freely, sir!"

She smiled and said, "Permission granted."

"Learn to love giving oral sex and learn to get very good at it. Learn to enjoy receiving it too if you don't now. It can be the lubricant that keeps relationships alive. When other types of sex are problematic, there's always oral. It can be transactional too."

"Transactional?"

"I once heard a dominatrix say, 'A man will agree to anything if his dick's in your mouth.' It's the same for women. I've noticed that once they've had a bunch of orgasms they're much more... accommodating. You get to win arguments sometimes, even when you're wrong."

"Great. So, is that advice for me?"

"It's for everybody, men and women. If a man loves getting head and doesn't reciprocate, it probably means that he's a narcissistic fuck who feels superior to you, either that or he just lacks the empathy necessary for a healthy relationship. Either way, kick him to the curb. I've met very few women who dislike giving or receiving head."

"Tell me about it. What is it with guys wanting to get their dicks sucked anyhow?"

Now it was my turn to laugh. "Yeah, that's pretty much a universal with guys. Like Henry Ford said, 'You can have any color you want, as long as it's black.' It's something that almost all heterosexual women have to deal with, and let's face it, sucking a dick is much more difficult than eating a pussy."

Another pause while she handed me the j, then, "Preaching to the choir mister. Was your wife good at it?"

I took a hit and replied, "She was excellent at it, good at first, and she continued to improve as the years went by. I got better at pleasing her too."

"Was it just practice that made her improve?"

I wasn't too high to miss noticing that she was focused on my wife's oral skills rather than mine.

"A lot of practice and constant encouragement. Plus letting her know what felt good without implying that she was doing something wrong. Most of the time I made sure that she got off too. Like I said, transactional. You want to do favors for people who do you favors."

"I'm kind of afraid of doing it, but it's because guys always want to shove their cocks into my stomach and it's a lot more that I can handle. I'm always afraid I'm going to puke. Sometimes I actually do."

"I know what you mean. Just between us, if you throw up while some dude is trying to get his dick down your throat as deep as your spleen, that's on him. I think maybe porn is to blame. Guys who don't have much experience think porn is the benchmark for how sex should be. Search on 'throatfucking' and see how rough boys can play. What's sad is how porn raises the bar for women. One month's filthy porn video becomes the next month's benchmark... and don't be fooled, most porn is for men. A woman's pleasure isn't usually very high on the priority list. Women's porn is a niche market."

"I've seen throatfucking videos on XHamster, and they can be pretty rough."

Ahh. You're an XHamster viewer too."

"Now and then. Isn't everyone?"

"I sure hope so." I replied.

This wasn't an unusual conversation for the two of us to be having. We'd talked about sex a few times before with increasing candor -- enough to clue me in that she had "intimacy issues." This was definitely the first time that the topic of throatfucking had come up though.

"Have you ever had a blow job that was like one of the ones on XHamster?"

"I've had blowjobs that were far better than any clip I've ever seen on any porn site."

"Really?"

"Definitely."

"How so?"

"Umm. Hard to explain."

I mulled things over. Looking back, I can see that this was what they call a pivotal moment.

I said, "If you're really interested, I could show you some video I shot."

"You've got home-made porn?"

"It's kinda my kink. I told you that I edited porn for women, right?"

"You mentioned it."

"I did it for about a year. Ten movies. They were like soap operas, only they didn't fade to black and cut to a commercial when the kissing started."

"Ha!"

We'd finished with the dope smoking, but it seemed as if both of us were a little reluctant to end the conversation. I added, "I was always astounded by the lack of inventiveness in the sex scenes. I thought I could do better, and I think maybe I have."

"Do you have movies of you and your wife?"

"Other women too."

"Would you really show them to me."

"Sure, but I've got a rule. Only women who have seen my dick can see my videos."

That gave her a few seconds of pause, then she shrugged and said, "I've seen dicks before. Seriously Monk, if you promise you're not going to try to fuck me, I'll pay the admission price. I'm that interested. Could we watch tonight after the show?" Just another drug-induced poor life choice.

"Tonight's good, and I swear I'm not trying to seduce you. It's not a ruse to show you my dick. It's a promise I made to the women who made the movies with me. One question though."

"What's that?"

"Why in the world would you want to see my home-made porn?"

"Let's call it an academic interest. I think I want to see what other women do. Not for money, you know, with their boyfriends."

"I think I get that. Although my experience is that most women would prefer not to know what other women like themselves are doing."

"Huh. I can't speak for them. All I know is that I'm interested."

"OK, you got it. After the show."

We stopped there and made our way into the club. I'm not going to bore you with my thoughts on the show, but I will say that during the evening my mind strayed back to the conversation in the parking lot, then forward to what the evening might hold after the show. Why don't we just skip ahead to my apartment afterward?

We were sitting on my living room couch. Glasses of wine and a bong were on the coffee table. We were both high as Hubble. Erica was wearing the tights and a long T shirt she'd worn to the show. I had my laptop hooked up to the flat screen TV on the wall. The first video was cued up.

"Ooh wait. Let me go pee first."

She padded down the hall and returned a few minutes later. I noticed she had reapplied her lipstick. 'That's curious' I thought.

She plunked herself down on the couch near me.

I asked her, "Are you sure about this?"

"I'm sure. This is fascinating. I've never seen porn of anyone I actually knew before. OK, unzip those pants buster. Let's proceed to THE VIEWING OF THE DICK!"

I laughed out loud and said, "Good one!"

I dropped my pants and my cock sprang free. It was already about 3/4 hard. I said, "Fanfare please!"

Erica's commented, "HA! That's a pretty big dick. Monk do you shave yourself down there?"

"I do a few things to keep up appearances. Nobody likes a mouthful of hair."

"I've never seen a shaved cock & balls before. Of course I haven't seen that many cocks, so who am I to think it's weird? OK. So much for the dick. Let's go to the videotape."

My dick is 8 inches long on a good day, and larger than average in circumference. I'm completely happy with its size. It fits almost everywhere... eventually, and once it does, women seem pretty happy with it. A few of them have sworn total veneration to it. I've learned to go slow and use lots of foreplay and lube to spare my partners any pain. Any bigger and it probably would have involved a lot of pain for them. Here's another probably. I probably should have pulled my pants back up before sitting down. I didn't.

"Last chance kid. This might some pretty fucked up stuff."

"No, I want to see it."

"OK. You axed for it."

I hit play.

The first video was of my wife, topless and kneeling in front of a white background. Sitar music was playing on the soundtrack. She was wetting her fingers with her tongue, then wetting her lips and nipples with her fingers. Moaning softly. The camera panned right so she filled only the left half of the screen. On the right my lower torso faded up in front of her. My loose--fitting pants were tented with a huge erection. My wife began to stroke it lovingly through the fabric. She slowly loosened the drawstring on my pants and pulled them down. My dick was standing straight out, inches in front of her face. She began to make love to my cock, licking it all over until it was glistening, then pulling the length into her mouth.

I glanced at Erica. Aside from the fact that her eyes were open wide, she didn't appear to be reacting much to the video.

"At one point she looked over at me and said, "Monk this is nuts!

On screen my wife was smearing the saliva and precum on my dick all over her face.

"I want you to fuck me in the mouth, she intoned." Please fuck me in the mouth. She repeated the request, a pleading tone entered her voice. She said it over and over again like a mantra. "Please fuck me in the mouth." My left hand reached out and grasped her hair. My right hand grabbed her neck. I began to plunge my cock almost all the way down her throat. She moaned loudly around my dick.

"Holy shit!"

I looked over at Erica again. "Too much?"

"No leave it on. She begged you to fuck her in the mouth. You don't see that very often."

"What I said kiddo. Better than Xhamster."

Back on the screen, my wife had shuffled back on her knees a few inches to allow my dick to have a straight shot down her throat. I began really pounding her gullet and she was taking it like a champ. Drool was dropping from her chin. I pulled out and begin slapping her face with my dick while she moaned, "Yes! Yes! Beat me with that fat fucking cock!"

I stole another glance at Erica. One hand was gently touching her face while she watched my wife take a beating with my dick. Her other hand was in her lap, but I couldn't see what it was doing.

On screen my penis began plumbing the depths of my wife's throat. Every stroke brought her lips closer to the bottom until she was taking the whole thing... again and again.

Erica's hand was at her own throat. I saw the other hand was stroking her pussy through her tights. So much for a purely academic interest.

"Jesus! You can see her throat expand when your dick goes down it! How is she doing that?"

"Same way you get to Carnegie Hall."

In unison we said, "Practice." We both laughed, but it was nervous laughter.

I pulled out of my wife's throat and she began a new mantra. "I want you to come on my face. Please come on my face." Over and over again she repeated it. I put my cock back in to the balls and gave a dozen or so full strokes then pulled out and acceded to her request. The video went into slo-mo for the money shot -- my sperm squirting up alongside her nose and into her eye. My second stream hit the underside of her nose and dripped down onto her lips. Shot after shot hit her full in the face. My wife was moaning like she was in the throes of an orgasm, and that may have been the case. She moved her head from side to side to make sure she got some all over.

My dick was waving in the breeze and getting harder -- partly the video, partly because I was watching it with an attractive twentysomething woman. Without really thinking about it, I began stroking it. About twenty seconds later I heard a gasp beside me and looked over at Erica. She wasn't gasping because I was touching myself. Her hand was down the front of her tights and she was rubbing out her own orgasm. Her eyes were wide open and there was a look of wonder on her face. As she neared a peak, she unglued her eyes from the screen and looked directly at me. Then she came. She continued to stare at me, wide-eyed, through the entire extended orgasm. 'Well that's kinda hot' I thought.

On screen my wife was alternately cleaning and deep throating my cock. An icicle of spooge hung from her chin, but stubbornly refused to fall to her breasts. Her entire face was shiny with my spending. The camera slowly faded to black.

I hit pause. Erica's look of wonder clouded over. She sat up and leaned forward on the couch, resting her head on her hands. She just sat there for half a minute. Then she shook her head, turned to me and gave me a sheepish grin. It was very endearing.

I smiled back and said, "Hi."

"High is right. I was just thinking I'm way too high."

"You and me both sweetie."

Another pause, then, "Monk, I'm sorry. The video took me by surprise. It was shocking how your wife begged you. It was fucking hot. It made me want to masturbate while I watched, like I do at home. When you started doing it, I thought it would probably be OK if I did too. I was seeing your dick on the screen and you were stroking it next to me. It kinda got me going. This whole night feels strange and surreal. I saw you stealing glances at me while you masturbated and that got me even more excited. Was it OK?"

"Mi casa es tu casa. Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to do it."

"Seeing you stroke yourself while you watched me masturbate made me come. The video too. It was hot because it was real."

"Um. I think you made you come."

She laughed nervously, "Well... it helped a lot. She seemed to actually want you to come on her face."

"I think she might've. She embraced messiness as a necessary part of good sex. She came to think facials were hot too. I think porn is the polar opposite of, 'Don't, you'll muss my hair.' Men love it when a woman is so overcome, she doesn't care if things are messy."

"I love it too., watching it that is."

She raised her hand so I could see it was glistening with her juices.

"Speaking of messy, got a towel?"

"No need."

I guided it to my mouth and began licking her nectar off of her fingers. "You taste incredible."

She didn't pull her hand away, so I sucked each finger into my mouth slowly, one at a time.

"You like that taste?" she asked.

"Mmm. Ba-tampte. Another movie?"

"There's more?"

"Oh yes young lady. Get comfortable if you like."

She hesitated for just a second, then stood up and removed her tights. She was now wearing only a T shirt and panties. I took a long head to toe appraisal of her body. 'Am I actually going to fuck this child?' I wondered. My hard and fast rule about sex with her was melting like ice cream in the sun. I opened the next video file.