All Comments on 'Esmie's Rough Night Out'

Not too bad, a little quirky though. Don't remember her taking condoms when she left the house, the last guy was a real slob but thoughtful enough to taking the time to toss her keys and phone out when he left, totally uncharacteristic of his type.

There's potential here. The ending where he starts describing her as oriental, etc, was a bit jarring because nowhere prior was her ethnicity brought up - especially when describing her in the beginning. To all of a sudden have the guy start going off like that just didn't flow. The time to really describe the character is in the beginning when you're setting things up rather than springing it on them at the end. And, it just didn't seem at all relevant.

Why'd she get dressed for the occasion, but then just sit in her car? Why didn't the other streetwalkers raise a stink, or their pimps get involved with some new chick stealing their customers? No guy would pay that kind of money for a hooker on the street. A lot of little things like that didn't make sense. It felt like it was rushed as you tried to get to the finish and show the transformation rather than take the time and write a second or third chapter. You could have stopped after the first BJ and spent some time developing the character back at her home as she went ever what she did, how it made her feel, etc. That draws things out a bit more and makes it a little more believable as the reader gets to see the slow descent in to depravity.

Hot story. Hopefully you continue the story. Great job

Good story. Will be looking forward to see if there is another chapter to this story. Being an asian girl myself I have been thinking of the same thing as Esmie has been doing.

It was good, but some odd choices that kept it from being great. Why mention her husband at all if the guilt of cheating was going to never cross her mind. Each "scene" is good, but some time spent providing more background or helping her motivations be a bit clearer would be a good addition.

Overall a good story. I loved the theme and how the sex ended badly. The 3 different men made it exciting but getting into more detail about them would have been good too. I do also home there is another chapter and don't be in such a hurry to finish!!))

That she's asian is irrelevant; just a "strawman". All that matters is she's a wife like any and all others. Happy marriage, boys! LOL

They're all just cheap, lying, manipulating, cheating gash whores.

Blowjob, first he pays her and she puts the cash in het purse, then he pays her afterward.

Repetition! How many times do you need to say that he tightened his grip on her throat and twisted her nipples? That entire 2nd page is endless repetition.