All Comments on 'Everybody Except Me'

Very good. I wonder what happened with Robbie. It seems like Karma finally caught up with Carrie. I wonder what she's going to do now? As far as AJ goes - there is a very high probability that Jorge will cheat on her - the only questions will be when, and how many kids will she have by then?

Yeah.. Very nice story!!

Well written, good plot, but unsatisfying conclusion. He stays with the wife who’d cuckolded him for four long years, and for what? To honor a promise that should never have been made, to someone who had no right to ask. He quietly accepts the cuckoo in his nest, lets the cheaters walk away without consequences and even pays the way through college for a child that he knows isn’t his. He could and should have asked Jorge to pay the college tab, given that the “son” loved his dad so much that he took off to Spain right after graduation to be with the people who’d cuckolded his “dad”. One sided relationships don’t work. And the cherry on that cake was his inviting them to his second wedding. Not asking for a BTB, but it would’ve been nice to see him stick up for himself.

I think I would have told Robbie to get the fuck out. By accepting the situation and never telling the MC, she shares a lot of guilt.

As for AJ, guess her word (I have your back Dad) is just as good as her mother’s.

Very similar to another story I read on this site. I don't remember the title or the author. This is just as good. The author has done a great job of laying out the emotion that the husband felt.

A strange one really. The whole husband staying with Carrie for years stretched it beyond credibility. The ending with the AJ/Jorge thing....weirdly out of place.

Was it ever established definitively that both kids were actually Josh’s blood? I don’t remember a dna test or Josh mentioning they definitely look like him or some relative on his side. I wouldn’t make either promise to Sergio. If he asked me that, I’d ask him if he’s going to withhold medical help from his brother so his parents can get one more over on me.

Way too many cliches and overblown tropes for this to be anything more than average.

Should have cut of Jorge’s cock and balls or at least stomped them into mush. Then AJ would not have had a reason to marry him. Jorge got his wife and daughter he deserved to be permanently destroyed.

a bit long winded by the suffering husband. Fire a brimstone works better.....................

Beautiful ending. 5*

Loved it but they needed more punishment

What a pussy the MC is. Why the fuck would he promise not to divorce his cunt of a wife until after his son left for college? What gives a teenage kid the right to ask him not to divorce?

I have absolutely no respect for any of these characters. This was a waste of time reading.

This is one of the stupidest stories I've read.

Two commenters said the 2,000 feet for the first jump was not believable. My first and only was in 1978 and it was at 2,000 feet, with a static line attached to the plane( so that the chute automatically deployed 2 seconds after you clear the plane) If your first jump is at 10,000-12,000 feet, it is because you are strapped to an experienced jumper, who will deploy and steer the chute. I have never strapped myself to another man and don’t plan on ever doing so.

If an inexperienced jumper was dropped from 10,000-12,000 feet, and opened the chute too soon, with a glide ratio of 4-1 (common with modern chutes) he could accidentally end up 8 miles from the landing zone.

The only dumber thing to do would be to make you first jump with “The Flying Elvises” (Utah Chapter) and land between tall buildings on the Vegas Strip. Great story, but I would have liked to Have heard the mother/daughter confrontation.

In the end only Jorge Santiago got to fuck everyone and end up happy married to a young woman. The rest just did not seem to face reality. ****

Entertaining story. Well-writen. A lot of twists and double crossings. Thanks for ithe story.

Wow!! Wow!! Wow!! Her son is critically ill and she's fucking the bastard in their marital bed. And of course the husband does absolutely nothing and let's them to continue to live in his house and fuck. Wow!! Wow!! Wow!! Can we all say cuck?? People in this story need to die. That the only solution for these fucked up people.

Another possible ending could have been when he went to confront Jorge for fucking his daughter.

and it goes along the lines of

<<< Well when I found out about Carrie having a child to Jorge I had DNA test's done on Troy and AJ and Jorge fathered all 3 kids >>>

Entirely possible and that would have been one of the first things I would have done in Josh's position, make sure any of the kids was his.

Although not sure if it would have bothered either AJ or Jorge to find out they were father / daughter

Why was there no interfacing between Josh and Jorge in the story other than the weak beat down?? Totally illogical considering wimp boy allowed him to stay in his house and fuck his wife in their martial bed. All around unlikable story with the usual fairytale ending for the MC.

The only man with balls in the story is Jorge. Pretty sad don't you think author??

Really well written and crafted storey, but you lost it for me right at the end, AJ married Jorge, really! ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Wtf, was that???? I usually like Hooked's stories very much but this one - was not worth reading it. The whole happy end for the clueless cuckold seemed kinda forced and was not in tune with the whole silly depressed story before.

2 starrs

A lot of the stories on this website cover a lot of the same ground. After all, how many ways can you cheat on your spouse? But if I read a story like this before, I don’t remember it. Fabulous story loved it.

Shout out to Jorge. For being the only man in this story.

Sergio and Troy were brothers and not half brothers or have I missed anything? Robbie couldn't have children so Jorge shagged Carrie and made Sergio during Josh's deployment. Sergio's birth went unnoticed by Josh, right? This was terribly confusing. And AJ? Come on, that doesn't make any sense!! The author didn't do anything good for himself with this work.

Mid-age crisis huh? Jumping out of a perfectly good airplane is a sure sign of mental infirmities. The bit with AJ and Jorge was just wrong, but it's always good to see a story from you.

I mostly liked the story, but the promise to Sergio was stupid. The appropriate response to his request would have been, "So, you're just as big of an asshole as your father."

I must admit that you got me, or rather confused me, with the half-brother bit. You didn't write it very clearly, so it seemed that you were saying that Troy wasn't his kid, rather than Sergio not being Robbie's kid. In fact, the way you wrote it, at one point it appeared that neither Troy nor AJ were his kids. Granted, once you did make that clear, Sergio's request makes more sense, but was still stupid.

I agree with others that staying together "for the kids" creates a toxic environment and is worse for the kids. In fact, one could easily speculate that AJ started fucking Jorge because her father stayed with her mother despite knowing that she had been fucking him for 20 years. I mean, she could easily think that Jorge must be some sort of a God if her dad is able to live with a woman like that...

Good story. I was surprised that he never questioned AJ’s parentage. Since Troy suffered kidney failure, I was surprised that Josh didn’t ask Carrie whether he was AJ’s biological father. In Josh’s position I probably would have told AJ to lose his contract info. Her betrayal, knowing how he’d already been treated, might have been the worst.

Actually a dum story. Stage three renal or kidney failure is not painful and the medical profession will not do a kidney transp,ant until stage five and the patient is on dialysis.

Also you dont bail out of a plane at 2000 ft to skydive. That is less than 1/2 mile high. You would ied very quickly. Story is not written well.

Couldn't finish the story. I'm not a violent man but I'm fairly sure people would have died had that been me.

CORRECTION! I said that Robbie was short for Rebecca. It was obviously short for Roberta. I still would have liked a different nickname than "Robbie," I was confused, thought it was a man.

Good story and extra credit for not using the over used revenge that Jorge was impotent from the savage kick to his balls. I think there was a missed opportunity to make the point with AJ’s sex with Jorge is an example of the effect of her seeing Carrie’s immortality and infidelity.

Great story but they all needed ghosting

To the critics who feel that a willing cuckold story is vile, and comment that those stories don't belong in Loving Wives, how is it that this story does? It certainly wasn't about a wife who loved her husband. And to the author, nice job! That may sound a bit odd, coming from someone who enjoys the erotic aspect of a wife enjoying sex with someone other than her husband. But you conveyed the pain of deceit very well. So well, in fact, that I had trouble actually believing that the husband would be willing to put a several year moratorium on the divorce.

What he should have done is let things calm down. Then find a couple aids and syphilis patients and collect their body fluids however possible. Then make up a little to his wife and tell her he has reconsidered and is going to pay for a trip for her to spain in a month. In that time get her very drunk and put the samples in her cunt and let her contract the shit and get it started in her system before her trip to spain, just don't fuck her any more. She goes to spain and gives the shit to her two friends not knowing, last laugh is always best.

Excellent story! Very well written and different, which was very refreshing. Score: 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS! Thank you.

Gotta agree with sbrooks and harryin va. The whole wife says s male ego thing NEVER EVER NEVER gers handke well by Any of the LW Stories.

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In these kinds of LW stories... a wife who has been caught cheating or has acknowledged a long term affair... then says. "Male ego" or grow a pair... is actually throwing gasoline on the fire.

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Doesn't a husband have a right to react strongly?....emotionally? ? Psychologically? By saying "male egi" the wives in stories are REALLY saying

Your feelings and thoughts don't matter because you don't matter

Sorry but when Troy and Sergio keep being referred to as half-brothers it really bugged me. They are full brother with the same sperm and egg donors.

Why would Sergio think that Josh “ owed” ANY favors for the kidney. Jorge and Carrie would have owed for saving their son, not Josh.

WTF kind of cunt is AJ to hookup the guy who broke up her family?

And why didn’t Josh just slam the door on Robbie when she showed up, she just as guilty for his marriage being destroyed as Carrie and Jorge.

I can’t put myself into the shoes of any of these characters and say that the way they treated the other made any sense in the real world. Maybe Jorge the slut who flicked every woman he could.

The writing and story telling were good. But the plot breakdowns were glaring and too much to get past.

Too padded. This should have been at best a 2-1/2 to 3 Literoitca pages story, about 20-25 in Word, tops.

I know that this site is not about accuracy but that doesn't mean that writers don't need to do some research. Dialysis rarely needs to be done more frequently than 3 times per week, had a family member who was on dialysis for over 8 years.

2000 feet is a really low level for a first solo jump because it barely gives enough time for the chute time to fully deploy.

Your timelines were really sloppy, to the point of unbelievable. But otherwise a good storyline, well executed, except for above. 4*

detroitdave

“ I’m sorry Josh… I guess I never considered you in my long-term plans.”

That is the definitive line in this story!

Are they Half brothers having the same bio parents? Also why would she stop at 2?

narcissism at its finest.

AJ, too? I confess I didn’t see that coming. Although I was surprised that Josh did’t do a DNA test to find out if she really was his daughter. As unhappy as the story is, I didn’t find any of it beyond belief (no need for an imaginary Martian Slut-Ray to explain the otherwise inexplicable). Sad, but we’ll and believably written.

I have to admit, AJ's character change came totally out of left field to me and needs explanation to keep from ruining an otherwise well told story.

Good - perhaps a follow up chapter

Started off good, and then got better

Lots of the usual tropes, but your writing makes up for it - and then the AJ thing hits. Not Good.

AJ, the daughter no man deserve.

Its Difficult To Hide Poor Results: His wife had mentally and emotionally left him after a year or two of their marriage and he never had a clue. His children embrace the end justifies the means, and think their mother's monstrous betrayal is no big deal. And he never had a clue his children were shallow disrespecting self-absorbed asses. And his daughter has the morals and values of her mother, which makes her a monster too. And NONE of these empty plastic posing mannequins were discernible by this clueless cuck.

\

So what else could you expect? If you don't pay attention you get suckered; his fault as much as anyone's.

\

I was puzzled why the whore wife was OK sharing Jorge with his legal wife, but not OK sharing him with her daughter? She was still getting to fuck him too, still getting to enjoy the money and Spain, and she obviously had no conscience, self respect, or feelings of embarrassment. What would she GAIN by divorcing the asshole; her entire life was about what was good for her. And what happened to the guiltless bitch anyway?

Too much time for divorce.

Immediately after he was told by daughter and then finding out still doing it.

Good mother?!

Right

Trained daughter to be like her.

No

Not much of a price for Carrie, disappointed.... You have written many better stories.

I truly enjoyed the story. It was quite a ride. Some of your critics mentioned how the story changed after finding AJ and Jorge were found out. It was a surprise, but it wasn't a game changer. Jorge got what he deserved and more. He was a total asshole. I'll thing the story deserves a 5.

A good story, would’ve liked the ending to cover what happened to Robbie and Carrie hoping for more consequences and to have included a comeuppance for both AJ and Jorge. Those two assholes deserved lots of pain and suffering too.

The lack of completion cost you a point on a good story

4/5

Th AJ twist came out of nowhere. At least it offered an opportunity to balance the accounts. Jorge could have been a little more fleshed out and play a more active role in the plot, sharing the antagonist role with Carrie. But it’s your story and it worked in every way.

I agree with Ophelia’s opinion.

What a giant pussy, also why does he believe that he has kids?

I definitely wouldn't mind a sequel with AJ seeing how much of a sleaze Jorge is, and Troy, Sergio, and her father just laugh because she made that choice and now she suffers the consequences and can only turn to her mom, who may not talk to her anymore.

“Another Love redux? Story went from a standard Hooked fair to a bit absurd. 3*

I think Richard Gerald already wrote this story? only much better. This one was good until the last page

One of your best by far, why would he fuck the woman who set up his wife with her husband in the first place stupid.

Sorry I could only give this story a 4 and that is a stretch. I just cannot abide Jorge being alive and married to AJ. Jorge balls should have been cut off and feed to him then impaled as if Vlad the Impaler was at work or maybe stretched on a rack like it was the Spanish Inquisition.

Stupidity runs high when you think that its to your advantage.

What a weak srory with a very weak main character

The AJ character flipped her personality half way through. She was completely on her Dad's side, then suddenly she's mad he's divorcing his cheating wife, then doing the same cheating and with her "uncle" 20+ years older. That Jorge guy musta been a devil in the sack for 3 gorgeous women to go absolutely crazy for him. Also odd cuz he wasn't very manly the way he lets a guy beat the shit out of him in his own living room.

What a long, drawn-out, literary mess.

Too bad the wife and daughter got off with zero consequences......GO DUCKS!

Amazing how many trolls belittle this story but you have 4.25 stars. I enjoyed it.

First of all, this story, with the same starting bases, is already in Lit. Only in the case of the story, it was a painter and the fraud has no children in it. But the plot is the same. Still, there are notes that a normal man cannot understand.

"But I want... no, need to ask a favor of you. A favor just between us, that I think I've earned the right to ask. I need to ask you not to divorce Aunt Carrie over this, and I need you not to take physical revenge on my father, as well," Sergio said......even with everything you're doing for me"

Do you all have bats in your belfry.?

He doesn't do anything for him. He's the stepfather! And if his slut knew he wasn't the father and still confirmed it on the birth certificate, then she made herself a criminal offence.

Yes, he raised him and he may feel like daddy, but he's not his father. If she divorced, he would have no legal rights for the "son" in court.

And how dare a "greenhorn" ask him that he shouldn't get a divorce? Then he shouldn't donate the kidney. He only harms his half-brother, his father and his mother. What rights does he intend to seize against him?

And why he stays in a marriage that is obviously based on false preambles is incomprehensible to me. He only has one daughter and she gives him a slapping slap in the face by having sex with the man who cuckolded him. Sorry, but there is nothing entertaining let alone arousing in your story.

Somehow AJ’s involvement with Jorge was much more disturbing than Carrie’s. So Carrie got hers, she divorced Jorge, but at the expense of her daughter. It felt...ugly.

Dude did three things wrong:

1. Married the wrong woman in the 1st place. She fucked up his life, and her values are surely demonstrated in her daughter actions.

2. Didn't dump that totally selfish woman Carrie immediately. Letting that drag on doesn't help anybody and further displays the lack of situational awareness that got him in that position in the first place.

3. Failed to totally wreck Jorge's package when he finally kicked his ass. Maybe his daughter would not have compounded her mistakes by marrying that piece of shit.

Jorge screwing and marrying AJ was more sad than shocking. I have no doubt an asshole like Jorge would do something like that. Seeing AJ fall for it is a sad reminder that sometimes sons and daughters make really bad decisions.

Three stars.

very good writing as always..but a less than believable plot line..reading stories about people living

dual lives can be entertaining but hardly realistic when we're talking about 2 decades..

Quite a disturbing tale of betrayal and like someone else mentioned the daughters involvement in the end was very disturbing.The whole scenario was hard to take in but you have to pinch yourself and remember this is what Literotica is all about.And Hooked always writes entertaining stories so I say well done and 4 ⭐️

Something is missing. It would‘ve been more interesting to know about how things were going on with his own family… instead there comes your usual crap about him finding an old crow (next time let her look like 20 instead of her real age of 70) and - boring enough -spending his life with her. Sorry but only 2* !

every medical detail in this story was so wrong, i laughed through the whole thing. Did you even try to do ANY research? really takes a reader out of the story when the author makes it obvious that they're writing about what they don't know.

Good story but not enuff burn!

Oh Troy, if you hadn't tattled on your sister maybe you'd also be able to taste the Spanish golden cock!

Jorge needs the be impaled alive on a stake in his front yard like Vlad the Impaler did to his enemies.

mattenw, you didn't understand the very essence of the intrigue... Troy and AJ were the children of Josh and Carrie. Sergio was the son of Kerry and Jorge. Jorge is not Troy's father.

Sergio asking Josh to not divorce the slut is fucking asinine. No 18 year old is going to do that. I'm fine with a reasonable amount of suspension of belief when I read fiction, but shit this contrived and unrealistic basically ruined this one for me. Hooked1957 has written some pretty good stories, but screwed the pooch here. You are better than this Hooked.

Not quite finished, but the statement by Carrie: "Yes, I'm not in love with you like I am with Jorge, but I truly do love you," That says it all. She didn't want the divorce, thinking that they've done well together, even tho she's been fucking Jorge whenever possible- on her trips to Spain, when they're in the house during the kidney transplant operation. They all kept quiet on the adultery & Carrie's childbirth, but she expects him to up & continue now that he know.

I look forward to reading how & WHY AJ & Jorge married, especially with everything he did against her parents. Like I said, I haven't finished yet. But knowing this author's work & this story thus far, I feel comfortable in giving this an early 5 stars. Bob

Didn't realize I'd finish so fast (for me). AJ's a piece of work, after her mother. She actually has sex with Jorge after what he & her mother did to the family & his marriage? She asked her father why he can't accept things as her aunt did, but couldn't answer that if it happened to her, being kept in the dark so long, if she'd be OK with it.

--- While he told her that one day they'll have to have a talk, he should've told her to watch when Jorge cheats on her, like her mother & her aunt. Then tell them they could all fuck themselves as they deserve each other.

--- Thinking about the promise he made to Sergio, he shouldn't have promised to not divorce Carrie. She'd make that clearer after being served by telling him he's not part of her long term plans. Before that, he should've divorced her at least when his son turned 16- he'll be old enough to make his decisions who to live with, understanding the reasons why. Prolonging the divorce just prolonged his agony, setting him up for continued disrespect as shown by Carrie then AJ,

--- That the kids went to Spain to be closer to their mother shows a bit what they thought of their father. I'm not sure he should've gone when learning that Jorge & AJ's having sexual relations. The only good part is he got at least some revenge on Jorge & showed what a bastard Jorge is & highlighting the daughter's sexual doings. But during the phone call from his son, he should've replied that they moved away from him, so being what they thought of him, he doesn't give a shit. Just don't remember him when everything falls apart- individually & collectively.

--- That Jorge's screwing, then marrying AJ just shows how much of a fucking scumbag he really is. Would be good for Carrie to find out after some time. kinda like unintended retribution. Would be nice to read an extention- just a page or 3 at most, to find out if AJs marriage really lasts, or Jorge winds up fucking some other woman. Wouldn't put it past him. In my version, AJ comes crying to papa about things for him to, at least a few days, turn his back, asking her about what happened to being old enough & that shit, & speaking down to me a few years ago?

--- Story still's good, my 5 stars remains. It's the good story that creates the emotions in the reader. Bob

A return to Hooked’s great stories of utterly despicable women. Carrie, Robbie, and eventually AJ were abhorrent cheating bitches , none of whom received the destruction that they deserved for the lying and and cheating through the years. At least Carrie was paid back in kind by her own daughter. The only part of the story that I found lacking was that Jorge was left in sufficient physical condition to benefit any of his wives again.

Just beyond terrible, especially the dialogue. The main character was beyond spineless and weak and sticking to the promise is probably one of the dumbest things I’ve read on here. -5 stars

Excellent

I gave it a 4, it was a good and understandable story but a bit predictable from the start. Thank you for the story.

A somewhat old premise given a unique slant by one of the best. Carrie was without any moral fiber, and Robbie was just too weak to prevent her "friends" from running rough-shod over her life. AJ went from being likable to being despicable. The promise to Sergio was unwarranted and the four-year self-imposed house arrest was too much. Four months, maybe to give Troy time to recover, not four years. Still, he finally got to beat the shit out of the asshole, so all was not lost. Thanks for sharing, H57, always glad to see your publications.

Could someone tell me the name of the French-Canadian painter's story? Or the autor? ThankYou

What the hell is up with all these reposts of old stories? I'm gonna assume Hooked wrote this story in the first place and isn't just word-for-word plagiarizing it because I know I read this story quite a while ago.

Also, the rather stupid twist at the end where the daughter suddenly gets hit with the slut ray? That was just rather pathetic. Jorge was insufficiently punished, and frankly, Sergio needed a good slap for being a bitch.

I enjoyed this offering. I lurk but don't sign in to comment unless the story evokes an emotion. Well written. Characters are as you wish them to be. Someone to pity. A few to hate. A few to look upon with ambivalence. I think you have the talent to put forth a piece of work where the betrayal by the wife is over come by his commitment to his vows. An unpleasant ending of sorts. A disinterest in the opposite sex. Not a mistrust. maybe even an appreciation for attributes. No relationship happening. No wife dying so he can move on. Just an emotional block filter that restricts attraction or emotional commitment to other people. In this case a quadruple betrayal (wife,friend couple,daughter) leaving the MC to keep people (in general) at a distance. Content to explore as the activities were done here. Just a commitment to "Until death do we part" (for me divorce is a cop out). I am not suggesting staying married. Just go through the divorce and forgo any further relationship. No friends , definitely no benefits. Take the Mc out of the pool or bench him. Make marriage means something again. Make commitment a focus. Thank you for making me feel again. Even if it is short lived

that was a lot of writing just to come up flat. even what was supposed to be the "feel Good" at the end was empty and 10 times too loose to fit the story. I found none ot the characters enjoyable or relatable or even really enjoyable. 3/5 but one of those is for the effort you put in. Try to story board your next story and see if that helps

A lot of talk , I liked the the plot, but you milked it too much

Oh, man, you NEED an editor or at least a couple of beta-readers who'll be honest with you. Why do all your characters "drop his/her eyes" when confronted? If a reader took a drink every time... Seriously, once or twice is a decent dramatic device, but every character is mute when confronted and never looks up, looks away, stares right at MC, or responds verbally? The journey and experience of the Robbie character were awfully neglected. Finally, at the end, she shows up, but what about her reactions during the confrontation? No, she just "looks down". Come on, OP, write the dialogue; don't take the easy, non-verbal way out. 3 (pronounced 'tree' in Nuh Jehsey)

Story ran out when he divorced her. End it there.

Nicely done, page 4 saved this a star. Was rather paint by the numbers until then.

Usually your stories are a bit more coherent. I’m not sure what the characters’ motivations are here.

I think this felt a bit rushed and not as in depth as some of your other works. I think the exposition could use a bit of work as there was no build to the story. From the second page, it was pretty clear what would happen, aside from the AJ curveball.

You, as a writer, are in your best element when you’re not rushing. You’re a talented wordsmith. I will continue to read as you continue to write.

@RodrigoHache

Could someone tell me the name of the French-Canadian painter's story? Or the autor? ThankYou

Another love by Richard Gerald

Thank You @tralan69er

Never could’ve made the promise he did. I’d have waited until after the surgery and that night in room when he confronted and confirmed that they had even fucked that week I’d have smashed the wine bottle across his face . Never could’ve waited years with her and never would’ve fucked her agsin . He should’ve started seeing others instantly. As for finding out he the guy who fucked his wife for nearly 20 years behind his back was now fucking his daughter . It’s like he is seeking to destroy he so called friend by tss as king the woman. The beating was not bad enough either . Once down I’d have pounded him badly then went for a kickoff show repeatedly destroying his cock and balls clearly it wasn’t enough as he stayed fucking his young daughter and continues to destroy his family.

Good story just needed more at the end.