All Comments on 'Everybody Except Me'

Well played, my friend. Look forward to your next. Randi.

Good story!!

You did it again. I can’t decide who was the biggest cunt: Carrie, A.J., or Jorge.

Jesus Christ his family is fucking demented, I think Troy and Sergio might be the only sane ones.

Well done! His daughter AJ lost her mind; and Carrie gets bo sympathy from me. 5 stars.

Basically a rip on that story about the woman who fell for the French-Canadian painter and settled for her backup husband because she couldn't have him. Right down to the husband being in the Navy, though there are no jet engines involved here. Far less idiotic and needlessly melodramatic than that piece, but still not my cup of tea. My main sticking point is similar, however: no one seems to understand or care about how fucked up the situation is for the husband. He has to go out of his way to explain it in detail multiple times, and even then they only get it when he hits them with the "What if it was you?". Personally, I'd say that if you don't see it, you're not worth the breath it would take to explain it.

Now that's how to write a LW story. 5 stars.

I enjoyed the story, lots of angst and at times I just wanted to scream at his for letting them all hang the horns on him.

Jorge ended up bedding three women connected to Josh and married his daughter in the end, Was this really ‘revenge’ I was hoping a lot more pain for Jorge then what he got.

As always through, a throughly enjoyable story that messed with my emotions, well done!

Excellent plot and very beautifully written. Five stars.

Hm, I would like to know what happened to Carrie after she divorced the asshole? And why wasn't she willing to share her second husband and only be second choice like she expected her first husband to share her?

I would like to think Sergio cheated on AJ too and after a while AJ starting to feel some remorse.

Wow! Another great story! 5*, of course. I wonder how many times this has played out in the big, wide world, with an embarrassed doctor or nurse realising that the bloods don't match, or that there's a transplant match that's just not looking right?

at least carrie knows what it feels like to be cheated on

Very good, with subtle "Another Love" vibes. As usual, such plots get my pulse going and my eyes glued to the screen if they are well done, and this one was. 5*

What a revolting development this is!

5

Interesting concept, and a painful evocative story unfolded. Well told, It certainly required plenty of thought.

5 stars

Cagivagurl

Fucked up wife and kids. I need a beer for this poor sap.

It's often difficult to buy the whole thing about the husband not knowing for so long. But, this was a good story. I cannot understand the AJ marriage stuff, though. D

Once again, the cheater gets away with it.

Dysfunctional is the name of the game. But five technicolor stars.

As time goes on and LW plots get used, reused, used up, the MC's and the wifeys , of necessity, get dumber and dumber and act stupider and stupider. They must do so in order to accommodate their authors' plots which, in striving for some modicum of originality, spin farther and farther from the plausible. One can foresee the day when all LW stories will have only one of two plots: in some , the characters rush around madly doing all sorts of things while in the rest the characters will just sit around and drool. There is nothing at all wrong with telling a typical story reasonably well.

nice story and all but one part was so unbelievable that it ruined the whole thing. there is not one man, gay or straight, that can endure 16 hours of Michael Bolton. TR.

I was shaking my head when first Robbie and then Carrie said that everyone got something out of the situation. I'm guessing Josh missed the part where he got to fuck Robbie everytime Carrie fucked Jorge.

Have to give a point for originality that Carrie finally realized the truth of the situation when Josh asked her what her original plan was for when Troy left for college of the affair hadn't been discovered yet.

Even though Josh got to heat the crap out of Jorge, the fact that he did it for him fucking AJ left a feeling of emptiness. Carrie never suffered any consequences for her betrayal. Sure, she divorced Jorge .... But, again because he was fucking AJ. Not anything to do with the destruction of her marriage to Josh. I'm not even advocating for BTB. It's just that Carrie never even felt any emotional consequences for her actions.

Assuming that AJ was a different person before her parent's divorce, did her time in Spain send her to Jorge because she adopted her mother's attitudes or was it because she'd become a damaged person? I'd like to have had more info on her situation.

When Sergio asked for the promise that protected his father,it was just another instance lof Jorge being immune from consequences. It also seems to have delayed Josh's return to life by several years. Well, of course he found it easy to ask Josh to put others first - none of them had any actual respect for Josh.

Thanks for sharing...

It's a good read, however in retrospect the ending is very weak! The "happy ever after" in a couple of paragraphs doesn't leave me feeling all "warm & fuzzy" whist pondering life's twist & turns. In my opinion you didn't do the story justice because of your indifference towards your main protagonist. At best this is a 4* in comparison to some of the grates on this site.

Shit....I kinda wish I was Jorge.

Just another author who has no clue how anyone would behave in that situation, ok it’s his story, his characters so he can have them react to events in any implausible way he wants.

He decides to continue having sex with his wife ‘because he has needs’ total bollocks, then he hooks up with the woman who instigated the whole thing, again utter crap.

Sadly there are any number of authors that come up with the same nonsense as to what would happen, all in the name of trying to write something different and in so doing end up writing the same as everyone else.

Wow, doing that to a man deployed in the service.

Good story

It was okay, but Jorge was the real winner and suffered minimal consequences for acting like a total douchebag.

He got to have constant threesomes with his wife and Carrie for 20 years, with both of them head-over-heels in love with him. He even knocked up another man's wife.

Then he was doing a mother and daughter for several months, before dumping the old slut for the 27-year-old, newer model.

Hell, I'd take one beating for that kind of crazy sex life!

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Jorge should have had a fatal accident after the long-term affair was revealed. That would've saved the relationship with both kids, ruined Carrie's happiness, and stopped the daughter from being seduced by an obvious predator.

Unfortunately, the husband in this story was a weak little bitch.

Why the hell would he promise Sergio not to divorce Carrie immediately? I would've told him to stfu and keep his nose out if my business.

Jesus christ. That's not an insult, the story was good but talk about fucked up people.

10 stars!! Jorge should have been slowly beaten to death, Carrie should have had a ball bat ram in her pissy to maybe slowly die, also. Josh deserved the happiness he had with wife #2, and if she's able, put 2 buns in her oven!! WONDERFUL, just like your other work!

Terrible. You could have just copy and pasted this from hundreds of other tales here. Do better, please.

Nice job but I didn't like him fucking Carrie even once after he knew the truth. Should never have touched her cheating skank ass. Also, shacking up with Robbie was counter to who he said he was. Carrie had no right to kick Jorge since she was every bit as bad as him, but clearly she was delusional.

This story line has been trotted out before. Sure, slightly different in enough ways, but in the last story the guy was an artist that fathered all the kids and had painted the wife nude. This has a different ending though.

guess one slut raise another to follow in her footsteps. only AJ was more depraved

Good Story, Well Told!!!

Thank You...

Well written but sick.... I would killed the bastard, slowly. No rating. Wish I had not read it.

Beautifully written as always with this author but one or two gripes here: the MC in this, as in most of this author's work is unfeasibly noble and puts his wife up on a pedestal, loudly declaring his unworthiness of her before the shoe drops and he discovers that actually she's a scheming, cheating, no good skank and he deserves much better. It is OK to be shocked and angry when you discover that you've been taken for a chump over a long period of time,

Next up, why did H give the female character Robbie a name that is usually considered to be a male name? I had to read the paragraphs introducing her and Jorge several times to make sense of them and work out that one of them was a woman and which one it was. A needless and unproductive complication.

That said, the story flowed well and the MC got justice in the end, which is more than can be said of Jorge. How long before he cheats on AJ with a younger woman? I bet she won't so accepting of that as she expects everyone else to be of her conduct and that of Jorge previously.

Waltdee, you forgot to include Robbie in the field of contestants for the title of biggest cunt in this story!

Thank

Sergio should have lost sexual function after the beating….gross. How long before he cheats on AJ?

Sounds like Jorgé was quite the stud: he got to screw Traci, oops, sorry, Carrie, Robbie, and AJ!

It wasn't that big a deal for Carrie to reveal that she'd fucked Jorgé: if Josh divorced her, she could -- and eventually did -- go back to Jorgé.

.

There was one line from Josh that was bothersome: "I look at it like everybody got something except me." Is Josh saying that if he had gotten to screw Robbie, or have a side chick of his own, everything would have been fine?

Another good one, Hooked!

Sergio needs to die.

/You will, however, be the one to tell him about Sergio being his half-brother,

If Jorge was the father of both, wouldn’t they be full brothers?

This story got 5 stars from me for am overall "all's well that ends well'... but it's NOT as trite as that may sound.

There have been lots of long-time affair stories I've read on LW, and to me, this one us up in the top half-dozen or so.

Nicely done.

That was a long definition of a fucked up family.

Great job. It’s tough to write a main character in his predicament, but you excelled. Quite entertaining.

"She tilted her head to the right and gave me a broad smile. I would come to know that as one of her tells when something pleased her."

- Wait! Are you telling me that people smile when they're happy? That's a quite radical concept, mate.

But, seriously, nice story! I enjoyed it at lot!

I believe his analysis of how big a douche Sergio was was a tad off

That was a wild ride

agree with BarryJames. Difficult situation that you handled very well.

This was an engaging tale. However, I find it hard to believe that any man would be so understanding of his wife’s loneliness that he would accept her leaving the country for as much as a year at a time on multiple occasions while he was deployed for active duty. We’re there not some grandparents at home who would question this behavior as well? The idea that kids could have kept their mom’s secret on deployments after they were born is a stretch, though admittedly there is no time frame there. Then, as others mentioned, the ending was a weak point. At the least, when Jorge showed how big a rat he was by seducing and marrying his second wife’s daughter, Sergio should have shown some loyalty to his birth mother and to Robbie by telling Jorge to drop dead.

That is one screwed up family to have the daughter also screw Jorge after all she knew. The guy must have a magic cock. One big error you made. Sergio and Troy were full brothers, not half. They had the same mother and father. You had Carrie go through the pregnancy and give up Sergio while the MC was deployed.

I was going to say, “Your story telling gets better and better”. And then I realized it has always been spectacular. 5*.

Why stay another four years in a miserable marriage? As if Sergio's going to refuse Troy his kidney. Give me a break.

I enjoyed the writing. I even liked the "Disney" ending. But why was Josh such a wimp? No wonder Carrie thought she could carry on a long term affair, after having given birth to a "cheating child". When the big blow up did happen, why-oh-why didn't he have his two children DNA tested to verify they were HIS children? With his slut wife having an affair for almost twenty years... he doesn't bother to check? (or did I miss that part) Just because they weren't a possibility for a kidney transfer, doesn't make them his.

Then, after his son got out of hospital and Josh said he wouldn't be sleeping with his slut wife again until the divorce when Troy went away to College, why didn't he allow himself the right to seek out other female company? His wife had, for almost 20 years! Even up to and including the transplant time. No, he just displayed a beta weakness. Probably why his wife knew she could get away with making him a cuckold for all those years.

Then dipshit actually "forgives" Robbie and sleeps with her. Why? It just doesn't make sense and proves how pathetic he was.

There was revenge but it did not equal to the grief the mc went through in this story.

Love your stories and style....THANKS!

Good story. Check the height on first jumps. Mine was supposed to be10000 ft. Only got to 9500. To much scud in the area. And yeah, jumping out of a perfectly good airplane (not on fire) is crazy. BUT, bar none, its the greatest experience you can ever have. Even if its only once.

As Always, great story, well done.

Yeah, the only thing that threw me in this story was the 2,000’ first jump. Really not believable. Mine was a 12,500’ solo jump. The rest of the story was good. Extremely complicated, but told well. Keep going.

I liked it. Lots of high drama. I read through the comments to see if any one else pointed out what stood out to me.

Of course there are several points that are crazy over the top, but how...HOW are you going to have the man that's been fucking your wife for 20 years come into your house, then when you sit every one down to blast them all, you never even address him directly to state what a dirt bag he is? Following the story, it appears he never spoke to his wife's lover for the week+ that dickhead was in his house - even after finding out they fucked during that very visit.

Interesting story but I couldn't find a likeable character in the whole bunch. This whole blood line needs to end.

Very well written thanks for sharing your creative talents.

Jorge will cheat on AJ next. She will stay with him for a while to save face but it will end badly over time. It will have cost her, her parents and sibling relationships in the meantime.

The MC was too weak and the justification was a promise not to divorce the wife or not harm the man? BS! How could he live with himself. He was 2nd choice in the marriage and yet he stayed in it. Didn't like this story line at all. And to allow her lover into his house and the disrepect shown by all. Weak.

Others have pointed out the issue with the jump - first time solo jumpers go out at 10k.

But the other point worth mentioning is that kidney transplants don’t last for life. They last for, on average, 10 years before the body will reject them, regardless of immunosuppressants. What’s even more interesting is that if/when you get another kidney, they don’t actually take out the old one; they just leave it place. A good friend of mine had 4 in his torso when he died.

I am amazed at the number of authors on this site that haven't heard of the latest research that shows that children are NEVER better off living in a dysfunctional household compared to living with divorced parents. Especially when the parents actively hate each other.

Well, that was fucked up.

Reminds me of the show Criminal Minds, where they had stories of some bent psychopath, but by the end, had often increased the perversion of the crimes by multiples, trying to increase the shock value.

I stopped watching that show.

Really good.

I now read anything that comes up with your name on it. I appreciate your work.

I'm not a writer, so unless errors are egregious, I wouldn't notice them. Thus it's the story for me. This was a wonderfully dysfunctional bunch and a life got reclaimed.

I hate pussy husband's. Being all nice to these cheating fuckers? It's not realistic. You find out your wife is a cheating whore and a kid that's not yours and you say sure they can stay in my house and I'll hold everything for now. Bullshit!

Needs a sequel where AJ comes crawling back to her dad after Jorge leaves her for someone else. Love to hear the door slam in her face.

Three Bitches.

Robbie, Carrie and AJ.

I'm sorry with Josh about his daughter AJ.

The MC admitted he was slow (in mind).

I do agree. He wasn't very smart at judging character.

First his wife Carrie, then his daughter AJ. Both women has less IQ than a baby.

But I surmise that is what happens to females who think with their vaginas not their brain.

For me, the MC was a wimp cuck though he grew some balls in the end but that was years coming of being a wimp.

/

I don't know man, I like Hooked1957.

I enjoyed a lot of his stories.

And this story here was quite a quality, well-written.

But I truly didn't like it, because I really could not empathize with him.

The only male person with a lot of balls in this story was the disgusting Jorge.

Not his son Sergio, nor Troy who couldn't prevent their stupid sister of marrying the slimeball.

People do stupid things, but the worst part of this, was the promise to jorge to not beat the shot out of his parents. Marriage vows, fraud, theft, etc, all trump that. And I would have had jorge and AJ die painfully.

AJ is a very sick woman. Her beliefs and feelings about intimate relationships are clearly warped and inappropriate. The two individuals who modeled and molded those aspects of her character are obviously aware of her issues but seem resigned to allow her to wallow in dysfunction. In addition, the MC apparently is willing to accept that Jorge will father his grandchildren. Oy vey, what a family...

Cute -- 5*

I gave this story five stars but have a nagging question, how did they know Troy and AJ were not Jorge's? Also, Carrie is really fucked up.

Gilurss AJ’s “got your back, Dad” didn’t last long.

Creative and well written. 5 *********

"and of course we had Jorge in attendance as well." - Yes, "of course," so why did you feel it was necessary to mention it both times?

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"Mom always said they did it because she and Aunt Robbie were just like sisters, and you knew about it." - That's fine for Robbie, but Sergio? BTW, I assume Robbie is short for Rebecca, but I always stumble "hearing" Robbie, thinking man instead of woman.

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"I got a son, Jorge and Carrie got some time together and your son got a new kidney." - Except that he might not have even needed it if Jorge wasn't his father, and/or Sergio likely wouldn't have been a match.

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"You men and your fragile egos. I'll be upstairs waiting when you finally grow your balls back," - Can we have one fucking cheating wife who doesn't blame her marriage problems on her husband's ego? And insulting her husband's manhood isn't going to help things!

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"as the kids would say? ... That makes you what the kids would call a slut, a tramp!" - Um, HE'S a kid!

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"But I did love you, Josh... Yes, I'm not in love with you like I am with Jorge, but I truly do love you," - She starts saying she DID love him, admits to not being IN love with him, then says she DOES love him.

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"I guess I never really considered... you in my long-term plans," - So why is she upset about the divorce? Now she doesn't have to consider him.

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"I was selfish... and incredibly stupid," - Her being selfish explains her going along to get her child, but why allow the affair to continue?

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Besides showing remorse, Robbie DID have a "good" reason initially, to get a child. Where she went wrong was allowing things to continue.

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@dmann, you are correct, since Jorge and Carrie are the parents of both, they are full brothers.

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I think it was either too long or too short! It was too long in the telling of the main story, then it rushed through the follow-up.

Carrie's, Robbie's and Jorge's rationalization excuse for their unethical behavior is the classical excuse - "“What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

The habitually unethical as well as the rarely unethical who don’t want to admit they doing "bad" shit are vulnerable to this classic excuse which makes the assumption that as long as the lie, swindle, cheat, or crime is never discovered, it hardly happened at all…in fact, one might as well say it didn’t happen, so you can’t really say anything really was wrong…right?

Wrong!

First of all, a remarkable percentage of time, the wrongful act is discovered. Even if it is not, the unethical nature of the act is intrinsic, and still exists independently of how many people know about it. Just as a tree that falls in the forest with nobody around both makes noise and causes damage, so do undetected, well-disguised or covered-up wrongs are still as wrong as those bad behaviors that are exposed up on the front page. They also cause the same amount of harm much of the time.

A cancer you don’t know about can and most likely will kill you in the end whether you ever know about it.

This type of excuse is one of the dumber rationalizations for unethical behavior.

Too many obviously contrived plot devices, e.g. the initially altruistic fuck to give Robbie and Jorge a child, the unnecessary and unmotivated "promise" to Sergio (just to drag out the story), the bit with AJ just allow the MC to beat up Jorge. These sorts of things are simply too transparent. The there are the usual bullshit cliches and tropes...fucking Robbie and the usual bullshit "she's a good mother" p. Here a clue: to be a good mother she needs to be a good wife. The two roles are integrated, not compartmentalized. But, we don't even need to get to that. No "good mother" would flaunt her infidelity in front of her children as the slut did when she was sleeping with Jorge and Robbie in Spain.

Good story, I enjoyed the read .

It was interesting twists until the AJ/Jorge crap, that made it 3*. The only thing missing is AJ getting pregnant; Hook ya missed a trifecta?

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3***, hooyah

I liked the store and the lead up was really good, just seemed to die out.

As always, an excellent story.

When Carrie found out that AJ was sleeping with Jorge, I was expecting her to say something like "She's your daughter you sleazebag!"

enjoyed but if everyone knows even the son why stay married?

I had always thought that hatred was the polar opposite of love. I found out first-hand that indifference is the opposite of love. Who knew? lol this should be tagged for the most used 2 sentence in the LW cat lol

i dont understand the argument of the kids and wife to stay married when she was going to take off to spain when the kids left. doesnt that make that whole part of the story redundant

Well written and interesting as always but just no. Actually HELL NO!!! The shit would have hit the fan as soon as Troy recovered from the surgery. There's also no way in hell Jorge and Robbie would have been staying in my home. Josh is yet another of your wimpy husbands no matter how you spin it that gets shit on and stands up and asks for more. Jorge needs to be removed from stealing oxygen from decent human beings. The beat down wasn't nearly enough revenge. A slow painful death works for me.

Just another wimpy, beta husband.

Great story, not sure how Josh could even handle something like that, especially when Carrie thought nothing of that. Enjoyed the fairytale ending to lift me up from a very dark and tragic story. Thanks for writing. 5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This man should have abandoned that whole trash family Carrie raised

This story had some good points, but 1 star for glaring BS problems.

He shouldn't have promised the whore's bastard child not to hurt his precious mommy and daddy, or not to divorce.

The author chose not to have any downside (a couple of punches are meaningless ) for the asshole, or any of the two "women" (loosely using the term... brainless female monkeys more like it) involved, nor his betraying "i got your back" so called daughter.

What a ride! I don't see how Jorge didn't die when he found out he was now sleeping with his daughter, but it's your universe. Hell, how did Carrie not kill him? Rushed ending with us never knowing if Robbie found happiness and how miserable Carrie became. Still well worthy of your usual 5* - bastard! LOL

Good story, but what went wrong with AJ? She seemed to have her head together in the beginning of the story.

This was a 5 until the whole AJ thing. That took it down to a 2. It really ruined the story for me.

Nicely done. I haven't seen the angle where the wife had an unknown child able to donate a kid ey before. It is usually the sin is not the husband's kid. Nice twist.

A good story but I would have liked to hear how Robbie made out.

Thanks for writing

Josh divorced Carrie and his children turned on him because he refused to be deceived and pressured into being the number two man in their lives after Carrie's longterm infidelity with Jorge. Yet he willingly and happily becomes the number two man in the lives of Evie and her children (because the number one man in their lives, Dan, was tragically taken from them), thus proving that he was perfectly willing and able to fill that role when it was his informed choice. It would have been great to see Carrie and her children come to this realization and finally understand that the rift in their family was entirely their doing.