All Comments on 'Evil'

Well written beginning of a story

Supernatural Western. Cool stuff. I wouldn't mind a Part 2, to see what Albin truly has planned for his (latest?) plaything, but you inferred enough already which leaves only one possible outcome. He who consorts with evil will be destroyed by it. Or rather "she".

Thanks for the yarn!

Hi, gordo,

Here from the Geek Pride challenge. I love westerns but must admit that I'm not a big fan of horror. You did a nice job setting the stage and using language and spelling seemingly appropriate to the period, but even better at making it quite creepy as Tish tries to resist but eventually dances with the devil and the old saw is seemingly fulfilled. As much as the reader is inclined to dislike the character, what happened with Ethan was well written, creepy, funny, and a bit sad, all at the same time. That and the change in Tish makes this a very thought-provoking story. Great job.

This was a very engaging story and I really enjoyed it. That said, I didn't like the way you used dialect spelling (git, likker, yer) in the narration. It's one thing to use that spelling in the dialog where the character talks like that, but unless it's a first-person narrator, I found it distracting in the narration. Also, you used "ya'll" as a contraction for "you will" a couple of times, which is just wrong to my ear. "Ya'll" means "you all." Despite those distractions though, I got hooked on this story and pulled along. It was fresh and clever and creepy as Hell. You kept me guessing. I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of evil Tishie gets up to in chapter 2.

I really enjoyed this story! Would be awesome to have a part 2.

Wanted to enjoy this but you were pretty fast and loose with the word "rape" with zero warning at the start, total turn off and inconsiderate

@anon - I guess you're unfamiliar with the current tension over the word rape. Books are being banned. Credit card companies are declining authorizations for material about rape. Video channels have removed the word from their Genres. All replaced by the TAG - NON-CONSENT. Which was present for your information upfront. But non-consent turned into consent as per LITEROTICA'S STANDARDS. If you write a rape scene the woman has to start enjoying it. Otherwise, it doesn't pass.

Author's here have to navigate a minefield of rules that aren't written down that readers aren't aware of. I hope you'll reconsider your criticism.

Not sure if this story is fiction, or a documentary. The Bible part makes perfect sense!

That was fun. 👍

I don’t read horror stories or watch horror movies because I find them humorous and I know that’s not supposed to be the case. So for the first half of the story I was laughing and then the tone altered as she changed from the poor girl raped by the devil to becoming evil herself. The bit with the snake was revolting, which I’m sure you intended, and got your point across.

I did enjoy the story 😊 but, and I’m possibly/probably wrong, a sequel would have to be good and not turn out to be a cliche and detrimental to this story. I hope I’ve explained that correctly.

A few mistakes which an editor would have picked up on regarding using the wrong word, spelling and punctuation but nothing serious.

I never thought I’d ever see the word ‘discombobulated’ in a story on this site. 👍 for that.

Having dealt with the pro’s it’s only fair to deal with the con’s. I don’t come from the southern states but I have spent a lot of time there and have to agree with a previous comment in respect of ‘ya’ll’ and the use of colloquial outside of speech, which kept interrupting my concentrating on reading. But, on the whole, I did enjoy it and thought it worth a 5🌟.

LOL, complete fiction. But it's funny how you can rewrite history and make it sound so logical. Can you imagine what it would do to the Catholic church if it was true? It would destroy it overnight if people found out they'd been hiding God's original bibles. Hmmm, maybe a story there :-)

Thanks for the comment.

Awesome, what an imagination😊

It was an enjoyable read