All Comments on 'Executive Decision Ch. 02'

Deft use of imagery allows the reader to visualize the scene in detail. The slow and sensuous seduction of our innocent's mind as well as her body, allows us to savor the event. Too many authors rush immediately through all of the deviant acts potentially possible for Angela to experience. Those writers lack the mature ability to postpone pleasure, preferring instead to binge while you, dear cgraven, wisely withhold, knowing it's best to always leave your audience wanting more.

Unfortunately, the careless use of incorrect words may be keeping you from the high scores you deserve: subtitle instead of subtle, final instead of finally, reveling rather than revealing, warp instead of wrap, trust rather than thrust. These errors are jarring to your readers, detracting from their overall enjoyment. It is difficult to proofread one's own work, one tending to see what should be there rather than what is.

This could be so great with an editor to help you with grammar and punctuation. Unfortunately, it really detracts from the reading experience that there are so many mistakes.

I imagine Julia as Christina Hendricks and Alex as Christian Bale/Patrick Bateman or PUA Mystery (Erik) as Alex.