Eye Of The Beholder

He did it slowly, keeping his head down and his hood on. Then, he looked at her and raised his head slowly to the light.

Annabella stared at Derek's face in horror, her mouth going slack and her eyes growing wide. She'd never seen anything like it. Her beautiful blue eyes looked over every inch of his face, from his vibrant black eyes all the way to the long, thick scar.

There was a visible seam that ran from his chin, trailing up like a cobweb to his right eyebrow, and then ran a crooked pattern to disappear beneath the hood. This was the best that several corrective surgeries had been able to do for his look.

If Annabella didn't need the job so desperately, she would have run away screaming.

Derek didn't like the shocked look in her eyes when she caught a glimpse of his face. Not that he blamed her; he just wished that someone could see him for the first time, without grimacing in horror.

Derek ignored her reaction and shook Annabella's hand with a firm grip. Her small hand was dwarfed by his much larger one, and he was shocked to feel just how dainty she was.

"So, you need a job?" Derek asked in a brown voice.

Annabella felt herself blushing and hoping she hadn't made him feel like a monster. She made a point of not looking disgusted.

"Yes, I do. I work hard, and I don't mind long hours. I think I can be an asset to your gym because of my experience as a model in California..." Annabella started to recite.

"You do that well," Derek cut her off mid-sentence.

"I do what well?" she asked, though she was pretty sure she didn't want to know.

"I'm sure you've had a lot of practice."

"Practice at what?" she said in a quiet voice.

"Getting your way by batting your eyelashes and flashing those teeth. Tell me, Annabella, if that doesn't work, do you always lean over and give us, foolish men, a view down the front of your shirt?"

Pointedly he lowered his gaze. Bella followed his direction and discovered that her shirt was loose enough to flash a view of her unadorned, white cotton brassiere. She straightened as heat rose up to her chest, spread across her neck and settled in her cheeks.

"I didn't mean..." she started to say.

"Are you sure you didn't?"

"Of course, I am sure!" However, Annabella wasn't so certain anymore.

She didn't like being judged by a man who had no idea what she'd been through. Derek studied her face for what seems like an eternity. She didn't like being under this microscope, but she didn't look away.

"If a man's dumb enough to give me my way because I'm pretty, he deserves it," Annabella pointed out.

"Maybe the man isn't the one who's dumb."

She stared at Derek.

It wasn't as if her education, or lack of it, was a secret.

"Y-you think I'm dumb?"

"On the contrary, I think you're a lot smarter than you think. Why don't you use your brain instead of your body? It'll last longer."

Anger flashed, turning her eyes from sky blue to midnight storm, but she did her best to hide it.

"I need a job... I need a job...," she repeated in her mind like a mantra.

"Please, Derek, I'll take any job you can give me," Annabella's voice cracked. "I'm willing to work a double shift for minimum wage."

Derek studied her face for a long while. It was a beautiful sight. Finally he said, "All right. Eight o'clock tomorrow. You'd better be ready to work your butt off," hiswords were hard, but his tone was sympathetic.

It took Annabella a moment to register what his words meant.

"Thank you! You won't regret your decision," she said, relieved.

Derek looked at her, and replied, "I hope the prospect of watching my ugly face every day doesn't scare you off." He intended to make a joke, but somehow it sounded like a true warning.

"I think I could get used to it." Annabella was too relieved to care about Derek's look right now.

"Look, I was about to have lunch, would you like to come with me? My treat. We can talk a bit more about skills, effort, responsibility, job conditions and all that."

"I'd love to," Bella forced a smile and shuddered.

CHAPTER 5

It was a fine day, sunny but not hot, and the sky was blue and clear.

Derek and Annabella walked down Main Street side by side. Derek loved Middletown. He had grown up here. Most of the locals had gotten used to his scarred face. Some of them, like Mary, the waitress of The Jammed, even dared to look at him in the eyes without showing any signs of disgust.

Of course, Derek remembered Bella very well. She had been homecoming queen and was also head cheerleader. And all the boys in school were sniffing around behind her as though her shit didn't stink. Even some of the male teachers were too.

She had been part of Janice Cooper's group of bullies. They could just walk past him, and for no reason, say something like, "You're an absolute waste of space, Lurch." That was their nickname for him, 'Lurch,' a not entirely inappropriate comparison considering how tall he was, even back then. Then they laughed. It was the only time when he wasn't invisible to them.

Their words and attitude had always hurt him deeply, undermining his self-esteem and making him feel constantly inadequate. Well, nothing they had said had hurt him more than watching his own face in the mirror every day.

A truck pulled out of the alleyway next to the newspaper office and headed north, and took Derek out of his thoughts.

"Oh, The Middletown Gazette still exists?" Annabella asked, pointing at the truck. "I thought it would be closed by now. You know, television and the Internet both bring news faster and in a more visual style."

"The Gazette has been standing there since 1984. It's not going anywhere," Derek explained to her.

"What did people around here do for news before 1984?" Annabella joked.

"Same thing they do now. Picked it up at the back fence like any self-respecting small town. Gossip has always moved much faster than any printing press."

Derek went on with his explanation, acting like an improvised tourist guide, "The paper is still owned by Mathilda Delaney, but she has no son or daughter, so Janice Cooper offered her a deal to run the paper. She did so well that she began publishing a weekly edition instead of the monthly one. Most folks didn't think it was necessary. They'd been doing without a weekly paper for decades."

"Janice Cooper?" Bella asked in surprise.

"Yes, the very same. She runs the paper mostly on her own. The circulation in this neck of the woods isn't big enough to warrant a publisher or a truck driver."

"She does it all by herself?" Annabella was surprised, she never thought Janice had it in her. On the other hand, she'd always been a gossip girl and a natural leader.

"Yes, she does. Janice studied journalism in college, and apparently, she knew what she was doing. Took a while, but she won them over. Now, I don't think there's a house in town or a farm outside that doesn't get The Gazette."

Annabella listened to Derek's explanation with interest. There were so many things that she ignored about her hometown. She had never cared enough. All she could think about when she was in high school was getting out of town and never coming back.

Her stomach growled, cutting off her thoughts. Derek noticed but said nothing.

Within minutes, they were seated at a table in a corner of The Jammed.

A waitress approached them quickly. She looked straight at Derek's face and smiled at him, "Ah, Derek, welcome back. Lunch celebration for the new employee?"

Derek curved his lips in a crooked smile, and Annabella sighed. She had forgotten how fast news travelled in Middletown.

"That's right, Mary," Derek answered politely, pulling off his hood. His back was turned to the room, so only Bella and Mary could see his face.

"What can I get for you today?" Mary asked, notebook in hand.

"Today is a special day. I think we'll treat ourselves and have the lasagna," Derek offered Mary an uneven smile.

"Lasagna for two it is." Mary scribbled the order and went away.

Annabella thought if it would be too late to tell him she preferred her usual salad instead of a high-calorie meal. She decided that she better not. She didn't want to start off on the wrong foot with her new boss.

"I come here almost every day. It's better than eating alone in the gym's office," Derek explained to Bella.

They talked about the job conditions till Mary returned, and plopped two heaped helpings of lasagna in front of them. She also placed a basket of garlic bread in the middle of the table.

"Tony says you need to eat, or you'll blow away in the next strong wind if you're not careful." Mary patted Annabella's shoulder and moved away from their table.

"Th-thank you," Bella managed to say.

She looked at the lasagna and tried to smile, but she couldn't quite do it. If she gained weight, it could send her to a binge-and-purge cycle that might last for days.

Annabella couldn't stop herself from staring at the mound of food and imagining it plastered to her hips. The bread she might as well just tape to her butt and be done with it.

She glanced at Derek. He was no longer smiling, either. Instead, he stared at her speculatively. His brow frowned.

"Eat what you can," Derek murmured. "I'll help with the rest."

"Damn. This man is far too smart and far too observant." If she wasn't careful, he'd know everything about her without her telling him anything.

Derek took a piece of bread from the basket. The incredible smell of warm bread and garlic hit her in the face. Hunger snarled deep inside, and she went dizzy with desire.

Derek saw insecurity lurking in the depths of Annabella's eyes.

"One piece won't kill you," he said softly.

Little did he know.

"Around here," Derek continued, "feelings are shown with food. You ought to see the spread that's put on for a funeral."

"I think I'll pass."

"And sometimes food is a replacement for other things."

Annabella's eyes met his. What did he know, or think he knew?

"For instance?" she kept her face as deadpan as she could.

"Confidence? Friendship?" He shook the basket. "Success? Even love."

"Interesting theory."

"Isn't it? In any case, it's good for our business."

Annabella let her gaze wander over their loaded table, then lifted one brow. "Our business?"

Derek just smiled. Annabella thought that he didn't look so bad once you get used to the big scar crossing his face. "It's just an expression. Don't get too excited. I'm not making you a partner."

Bella took a small piece of bread and stuffed half into her mouth. She forgot all about proving anything as the taste exploded on her tongue, too wonderful to be believed.

How long had it been since she'd eaten garlic bread? Obviously longer than she'd thought. Her head spun.

She swallowed the bread, and her mouth watered for more.

Deliberately, Annabella kept her gaze off the basket, and turned her attention to cutting the lasagna into miniature pieces.

She grabbed her fork and dug into the lasagna.

"Mmm," she murmured several bites later.

Annabella would worry tomorrow about the ramifications of the meal. She took another bite. The food tasted warm, inviting, comforting.

She looked at Derek, and pointing at him with her fork, asked, "You don't remember me, right?"

"Of course, I do. You were part of Janice's elite group in high school." Derek assumed a serious expression. "You all used to call me 'Lurch, the lonely loser' because I was tall, and I was always alone."

"I know what you're thinking, Derek, so go ahead and say it. How the mighty have fallen, right?" she gave him a bitter laugh.

"I'm not like that," Derek looked at Annabella with a serious expression. "I would never make fun of someone's fall from grace."

"I was a true bitch back then," Bella's voice cracked. "I did and said a lot of cruel things I regret. I just hope with time you can forgive me. My experience in California was a lesson in humbleness."

She lowered her gaze to the half-empty plate of lasagna. She was methodically cutting it into itty-bitty pieces and rearranging them on her plate. It was almost as if she was afraid of them. "If you remembered who I was, why did you give me a job? If I were in your place, I would have kicked me out."

Derek shrugged, "Because you needed it."

Bella shook her head, unsatisfied with the answer. No one was that good in real life.

The truth was, Derek was drawn to Annabella. Why? The only answer he could come with was that he was a fool and a masochist. Bella was used to making males do whatever she wanted. She was going to chew him up and spit him out.

They finished eating and walked back to the gym in silence. Each one of them lost in their own thoughts.

CHAPTER 6

During the afternoon, Derek instructed Bella about what he expected from her, the use of the exercise machines, and the basic routines for beginners.

"Make sure they stretch and warm-up for fifteen minutes. Then, work them out for thirty, and end with a fifteen-minute cool down," Derek explained to her.

Derek gave her a few pointers during the afternoon, but very soon, it was obvious that she was a perfect fit for the role.

The gym bustled with patrons all afternoon so they were both busy. The clank of the weights, coupled with the whirr of the treadmills being run on, was music to Derek's ears. He walked from here to there offering his help and assistance when needed but keeping a professional distance with everyone.

By closing time, Derek had no doubts about Annabella. She was a quick learner, and she was familiar with most of the equipment, which made his tutoring job easier.

"Most people are interested in personal training, but too gun-shy to actually ask about it. They think it's too expensive, and it can be, but I strive to keep my fees low. I'd rather keep my locals happy and in my gym, than to lose them because they can't afford it."

Annabella shivered, thinking how much she had paid her personal trainer during the time she lived in California.

While Derek closed the gym, he noticed that Bella was looking at him intently. She kept starting to say something, then changing her mind.

Finally, he approached her, "Bella, if you've something to say, why don't you spit it out so we can get it out of the way? You're making me nervous."

Bella stared at Derek, playing nervously with her fingers. "I'm trying to ask something here," she said, "but I don't know how to say it."

"Just say it, there's no need to beat around the bush."

Annabella gulped, and asked in a very thin voice, "What happened to your face? How did you get the scars?"

Derek looked at his own reflection in the gym's mirror for a while, and said nothing.

"I understand if you don't want to talk about it." Bella saw how uncomfortable and sad Derek had become when she mentioned the scar.

"I usually don't like to talk about it. But since we are going to work together, I suppose it's okay. I'll tell you my story while I walk you home."

"You don't have to walk me home," she said, giving him a way out. "It's not like the streets around here aren't safe."

"I want to walk with you, if you don't mind," he insisted. "I prefer to talk while I walk."

"Not at all."

The streets had become deserted. The silver-blue light of the moon warred with the flickering, colorful images of televisions. The last light of evening from the west paled the glow of the streetlamps behind them.

They walked side by side in silence for a while. Annabella didn't want to rush Derek. She knew he would talk whenever he was ready.

Finally, Derek let out a long sigh and started talking in a very quiet voice, almost as if he was talking to himself, "We were riding in a convoy down a tiny street, and I was last. I was trying to figure out how to calm my mind. I remember thinking that the street we were driving down could be a pretty place. There were palm trees on either side of the road and little mud huts.

"Suddenly, there was an explosion followed by a sharp flash of light. A rocket-propelled grenade hit the right side of the Humvee and sliced its way through the entire vehicle leaving a gaping hole. I was instantly blinded and deafened. I felt as if someone had poured a glass of water on my face. Later I knew it was actually blood. When I recovered, I was laying on the floor. I checked to make sure I wasn't missing any body parts. Chunks of shrapnel stuck out of my left arm, and the adrenaline pumping through my body was the only thing that kept me from passing out. Someone helped me into another vehicle, and we sped out of the kill zone to the base."

"Oh Derek, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bring out those terrible memories," Annabella said, detaining him with her hand upon his arm, which she clutched with desperate fingers. "I don't know what to say, except I'm sorry this happened to you."

He shrugged. Derek could see tears forming in her eyes.

"A medevac helicopter flew me to another base. From there, I was flown to Germany for surgery. Nearly a year later, I was honorably discharged and here I am, looking like the Phantom of the Opera. Maybe I should start wearing a mask." Bella noticed that even when he was joking about the way he looked, Derek kept his head down, hidden behind the shadows cast by the hood.

"It's not that bad once you get used to it," she said sincerely, placing her hand on his chin to raise his face.

"That's what some people say," Derek shrugged.

They reached her home, and she put her hand on Derek's wrist before he could run away. His pulse thudded beneath her fingertips, steady and sure, like the man, and she couldn't help herself. She let her hand stay there because she liked touching him, and right now, he was letting her.

"Thank you for the job. You saved me. You're my hero."

Despite the teasing lilt in her voice, he stiffened and backed away, pulling his wrist from beneath her fingers.

The humor was gone from his eyes. Instead, he gazed at her without expression.

"I'm no hero," he said softly.

"I don't agree."

"I was just doing my job."

Annabella stared up at the bright, shiny moon and took a deep breath of fresh, cool night air.

Her sneakers scraped the pavement as she moved near him once more. She went up on tiptoe and pressed her mouth to his cheek—a quick, friendly, thank-you kiss. However, the proximity to that chest, his heat, the scent of his skin in her nostrils, the taste of him on her lips made her freeze.

He shifted and raised one palm to cup her bare shoulder.

"You had a long day today. You should try to get some rest," Derek said in a hoarse voice. "Good night, Bella."

Why was Derek holding her shoulder so firmly? The truth came to Annabella as clear as the stars in the sky above. His hand was keeping her steady. He was scared of her proximity.

"You're right. I'm tired. Good night, Derek."

She opened the door.

"Tomorrow at 8 a.m.," he called.

Her answer was an absentminded wave before she shut the door behind her.

Her mother greeted her with a 'did you get any money?'

Annabella searched in her pockets and put the twenty bucks John Harding gave her on the table.

"Twenty bucks? That's all? You could have charged at least 50 for a blow job. I'm sure you learned how to give those in California."

"Mother, I was a fashion model not a hooker." Suddenly she wasn't hungry anymore.

"Potato, potato," her mother muttered.

Bella made herself a tea and grabbed an apple. "I got a job, I'll start to pay my share as soon as possible," she finally said.

"Good. How much are they going to pay you?"

Bella looked at her mother and sighed.

"We didn't talk about my salary," Bella lied. "I got a job at the gym," she explained, holding the apple in her hand. Then she took a bite.