All Comments on 'F4: A Matter of Circumstance'

I liked that it was just one night in the life of the main character, Like a small snapshot before the revelation of the plot twist. I found the first part was really taken directly from the song with the heels and cigarettes and wondered how the rest of it would pan out but you did well for such a short story. :)

I liked the pacing and build-up to the end, the language clean and strong and pointing nicely to the song. I liked the protagonist a lot.

It suffers from some minor factual and grammatical errors, but on the whole its sound and well written; closer to 5 than 4. The subject does nothing for me but I don't score fetish appeal. The story is consistent and congruent with what I know about such encounters, and the conflicts seem to be limited to Jeff's hypocrisy, singularity is always a good mark in a short story. I like that this tale is brief and tight.

I don't know much about this type of thing, but it all felt real and plausible to me. I liked the twist -- made me laugh, because after I read it, I felt like I should have known, but good job not making it obvious.

The writing is hard and lean, skinny almost, but it contains strength, and, like the main character, it is much more than it initially appears. There is nothing pretty about this story, nothing outwardly enticing, but, yet, I found myself absolutely drawn to it. It was sexy, in that true, raw, ugly way that things are sometimes sexy. The real way, devoid of good lighting and bullshit banter, like if you took sexy and cored it like a pineapple, and all you were left with was this tough, hard to swallow center that was still pleasant and sweet on your tongue. Difficult to digest but still easy to enjoy.

Great job.

Would have preferred to see this a little longer and with more build up, but with the twist at the end, it works. Good job.

I would have stopped after "in my mind", right at the end of page 1. In fact, I did; it took me a while to notice that there even was a page 2, and it was a disappointment.

I enjoyed this one in spite of myself. It's not the kind of tale I usually go for, but the writing is done so well, so sparse, clean and powerful, that it swept me right along. The end was an effective twist, and I found myself laughing with the protagonist, even though I was also going, ew ew ew! Nicely done.

What luck! As usual, FAWC delivers the goods - a load (cough cough) ... a load of good stories.

Characterisation is great, and not overdone. We are not drawn too much into the central character's world, just enough to sympathise with her for the short length of the story. There is hot sex as well as the early account of the more commercial side of her life, which serves both to give us a realistic feel for the world of prostitution and to set us up for the hot full on encounter in contrast to the luke-warm commercial blowjob. Background is well sketched, without lengthy passages of the: I live in blahdiblah, and this-and-that happened to me in my life. It all flows naturally along with the tale: use of hispanic words, her thoughts on a normal working night.

LOL, a twist to the tale too! She is nicely revenged on that judgmental brother.

Most of all - hot, well described sex. Jolly good!

(Oh, and safe too! I can review it on my blog. Rubs little hands with glee at thought of the other stories in the competition to cum ... sorry, come.)

Ha ha ha! 'Sting', you used that song title to full effect.

I liked the twisted ending. The brother had it coming. Good story.

even though the subject isn't one I generally read. Good luck in the challenge.

Very well written. Great ending.